All I really wanted to say in this was "touches the pickle".

[dianelane]

How to Write an Appropriate Post for your Journal

by Diane D. Lane, asterisk-friendly Pulitzer Prize Winner and Oscar-Nominated Actrice.More often than not, the most asinine and inhumane waste of time comprehensible to the Modern Celebrity is the journal entry. Resuming a period of time can just plain drive some kids up shit creek, especially after

Comments

[speilberg]

I don't know what you're getting at, but it must be evil. Please burn the tapes.

[dianelane]

Only once I've finished signing the Miramax contracts. After all, why would I even attempt to mass-diffuse something if I didn't have the financial means? It's obviously foolish.

So, once I've gotten my cool 10 Million, of course I'll burn the original tapes.

[golden_boy]

If these are the tapes I think they are, please let me counter-offer before you burn, eh?

[dianelane]

You, who babbles about lack of funds, wants to buy incriminating videotapes from a multi-million dollar actress? Do state your opening bid.

[golden_boy]

I babble about lack of funding for films. Different, sis.

And I don't think you can be bought, actually. So my opening bid has nothing to do with money -- During my visit, I'll make you breakfast every day.

With fresh squeezed OJ. *grins*

[speilberg]

You could at least sell them to Dreamworks. In any case, do I not have to give some sort of written consent for you to do this?

I knew you were up to something, you punchy wino.

[george_lucas]

What, you mean those tapes I stole last time I was there and sold to Francis?

[speilberg]

No George, what you stole were those worthless Star Wars DVDs.

[dianelane]

No, I don't think you do. Do I have to give written consent to People magazine to photograph me tanning topless in Brazil?

I always am, you drug-addled lunatic.

[speilberg]

But you can sue them if they put the pictures in some magazine.

Yeah really, you hammered hussy.