(no subject)
alrite i just had one of those day. That one of ur sisters decide to talk to you. well yea my middle sister called me today to talk. b.c Im planning to move out of my house when Im 18 witch is in a couple of weeks. Everyone is telling me not to do it.they think that its going to fuck up my life because if I move they think im going to drop out of school and just work to stay up at my things. and pay the bill`s Im sorry to say but I hate living with my parents my life has been seriously a total waste sometimes I wish I was dead and just with god. I hate it when my parents say u do good and u get what you want. well Im doing AWSOME and I still dont get shit. I work and I keep up my grades and what else do I have to do for the to be proud of me? I dont know what else I help my family with money but stilll they arent proud of me. I hate being so depress I hate being like this. I just wish one day I can get my car and just drive where god takes me cause right know I have no where to go. I dont like being sad. I hate crying. But that the way I take out my problems I wish I can smile and go out have a boyfriend to talk to and just to be with. but wait I dont derserve that the one guy I love I lost him. the one family i have treats me like shiit the friends i have. well atlest some dont give a fuck. their to busy with their even when I need to talk to them. but what can I say friends arent always there! I dont know what else to do. I hate it when My mom tells me that me and my sister are going to drive her to death? tell me what fucking mother say`s that she`s going to die because of us?I hate being the "baby" of the family b.c I dont get shit out of it. I cant do shit b.c they got some kind of problem. I hate being so depress I wish I can just sleep forever and not worry about anything. My sister tells me Im fucking up my life and they thnk im stupid but they have never really lived with my mom because they were In colombia with my REAL dad. I wish my sister were there for me when I was younger maybe my life wouldnt be like this. maybe things would of been different. I dont see myself happy for a while. I hate my life simple as that Im NOT happy and I dont know what else to do.? I guess this is wat am suppose to go threw. my sisters talk to me all of the suddent b.c im depress or because they dont want my mom to suffer bc im moving out? I dont know what to do? My sister made a deal with me IF i dont move out she was going to help me buy a ford focus 02 or 03 2 door tinted window and i would have to pay 150 a month and she'll help me the down payment and maybe the insurance. but who knows. she say that if 90 day I dont get my car. I can do w/e the fk I want. I dont know waht to do. I wish someone just can help me but theres no-`1 to help no-1 to talk no-1 to understand. no-1 :( I just wanna cry and give up in everything. Im not happy.... I dont know what else to do.
w/e that it Im out. pz
-diana-