You can be my Someone...You can be my seed
She can f*cking HAVE HIM! Oh my god, he already told her he loved her on the phone...and I had to hear it!!! I hate his cold heart. He doesnt' care. I knew it all along. If being friends means talking about how much he loves her while I'm there, then f*ck being friends, I don't want it anymore!!!
"You could be my someone, you could be my seed"
Yeah f*cking right, I don't f*cking want to be his someone, or for him to be my someone!!! I don't want ANYONE! I want to be alone in my room! I don't even want family or parents or a dog. I want my IPOD and thats IT! I don't want a life. It's just miserable. I already made Paula cry, and I feel like it's going to happen again. The only thing keeping me from that again, is the picture.
Oh My God, I just want to go to highschool, and leave him behind. Let him repeat 8th grade, let him go to NH. Let him become absolutely nothing, just like what he made me become! And she can have him! She always will. She'll have everything!!!!!!! And she thinks I'm stealing everything she HAS!! Just read some of her poems!!! She's become ... AH...ever since she joined that stupid team. She's not the same anymore. And she can call me a "bitch" all she wants, it's not gonna change how I feel. That's all she calls me anymore, and I dont care if she's joking, I know inside she believes it! I just feel like I'm going to break down one of these days in school, and cry my eyes out...someday soon... AH. Everything is so messed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything is so f*cked UPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this world. I hate everyone. I hate humanity.
I hate him. I hate her. I hate myself. I hate everything once again.
I'm only capable of being happy some days. and im not even PMSing right now!
That's how STEAMED I am...GODDD!!!!!!!
This is what I wrote when I made Paula cry...
Torn Flesh
I've done it,
It's over.
I've torn through my flesh.
Leaving a crooked line,
From the jagged blade.
I sat there,
Watching the scarlet blood escape my body,
Watching it find its way from the sink to the floor.
All the while I thought to myself,
Why am I doing this?
Because it feels good,
Because I want to.
Just leave me here.
Sitting by the toilet,
And let me create scars -
Scars that remind me of the past.
Don't bother me,
Don't look at me,
Don't speak to me,
Don't even think about me.
Just leave me in the dark,
In a cold corner until I'm gone.
THE END.
Today Jazzy said "wow, that shows that the whole IHP is f*cked up." [about my torn flesh]
And I guess I was always thought of as the happy preppy person.
The cheerleader [now Jaz, according to her..HA]
Well I'm not,
I hate putting up a fake face...I'm not happy...I never was...and now I'm admitting it.
Life - it's F'ed up.
"You could be my someone, you could be my seed"
Yeah f*cking right, I don't f*cking want to be his someone, or for him to be my someone!!! I don't want ANYONE! I want to be alone in my room! I don't even want family or parents or a dog. I want my IPOD and thats IT! I don't want a life. It's just miserable. I already made Paula cry, and I feel like it's going to happen again. The only thing keeping me from that again, is the picture.
Oh My God, I just want to go to highschool, and leave him behind. Let him repeat 8th grade, let him go to NH. Let him become absolutely nothing, just like what he made me become! And she can have him! She always will. She'll have everything!!!!!!! And she thinks I'm stealing everything she HAS!! Just read some of her poems!!! She's become ... AH...ever since she joined that stupid team. She's not the same anymore. And she can call me a "bitch" all she wants, it's not gonna change how I feel. That's all she calls me anymore, and I dont care if she's joking, I know inside she believes it! I just feel like I'm going to break down one of these days in school, and cry my eyes out...someday soon... AH. Everything is so messed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything is so f*cked UPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this world. I hate everyone. I hate humanity.
I hate him. I hate her. I hate myself. I hate everything once again.
I'm only capable of being happy some days. and im not even PMSing right now!
That's how STEAMED I am...GODDD!!!!!!!
This is what I wrote when I made Paula cry...
Torn Flesh
I've done it,
It's over.
I've torn through my flesh.
Leaving a crooked line,
From the jagged blade.
I sat there,
Watching the scarlet blood escape my body,
Watching it find its way from the sink to the floor.
All the while I thought to myself,
Why am I doing this?
Because it feels good,
Because I want to.
Just leave me here.
Sitting by the toilet,
And let me create scars -
Scars that remind me of the past.
Don't bother me,
Don't look at me,
Don't speak to me,
Don't even think about me.
Just leave me in the dark,
In a cold corner until I'm gone.
THE END.
Today Jazzy said "wow, that shows that the whole IHP is f*cked up." [about my torn flesh]
And I guess I was always thought of as the happy preppy person.
The cheerleader [now Jaz, according to her..HA]
Well I'm not,
I hate putting up a fake face...I'm not happy...I never was...and now I'm admitting it.
Life - it's F'ed up.