Rant #1,000,001
I just discovered how easy is for people to say "this is how I am" or "let him/her be, it's the way he/she makes things"...
Is it me or is the world revolving around a conformity enviroment?
If I get angry about my friend being too spoiled and searching to be even more spoiled, people tells me that I can't control how people feel about diseases. Fine. Then I should had complained even more for my stomach pain, it was harder than my menstrual cramps. Sadly I start thinking that there are even worst pains that other people might be suffering, so I try not to complain much.
If I get angry bcause mom can't understand a modern joke. I'm told that she grew in a different time. Now mom tries to make this kind of jokes, damnit, people can change, but nobody ask them to try.
Today, I had to listen to an aunt talking in the phone, she recently had her uterus removed, so she's still resting at home. Oh, but she calls to our home, first, asking in good manners how we are. Fine, all normal. Then she asks me for my dad. He's not home. Then she starts telling me how SHE is, you know, 5 minutes hearing her talking about her watching tv, trying to walk, blah blah blah, normal situations for a housewife who was recently in surgery. No problem, I understand that her husband and son are useless and mexican machos, so they only care about making jokes about her and try to survive without her making their meals, but I'm sure that grandma moved in with them to cook something for his big fat husband and the lazy leech they're raising.
Ohhh but after this endless one-sided conversation she starts to tell me about her hemorroids problems and about her physical changes that made her know that she has hemorroids.
I was like "Why the hell should I be listening to this?" and after lots of blah blah blah, she comes with the question she should had made me from the start. My other grandma had hemorroids (wich I didn't remember bcause she never talks about her diseases outloud) and my aunt wanted the name of the doctor she went to visit.
I really don't care much about dad saying that this aunt loves me a lot. I like her, but somehow somebody should tell her that if she treats people like little children (I mean from 0-2 years old) she might have even more improvement about a lot of aspects in her life. She even asks ME about if she should try something for her crafts. Now I realize how much the family has ruined me, now I see where I come from and where I don't want to end in. It's ok to ask for advices, but asking all the time if she can do something??? Damn, and I wondered why I am so bad making decissions.
Anyway, I tell dad when he arrives that after 10 minutes of telling me her diseases and random things about her internal organs she asked me if I knew the name of the doctor. I always complain about her talking and stuff and dad ALWAYS comes out like a knight in a shinning armor trying to protect her.
"You know your aunt, she's like that."
"Damn, but why did I have to listen all her complaints about her digestive system?"
Dad in a bad mood now:
"Look, you know that people feel different when they're sick, why don't you understand that?" (Same old song when I told him about my friend)
Fuck, I just don't understand! Why when I was little I never got this kind of considerations? But the rest of the people does? I'm a big believer that in order to help a friend or a family member when they're sick is, 1st. To listen to them when they feel down, like a shoulder where they can cry in (wich I never had at home). And 2nd, to give them a realistic look of their problem so we can find a better way out than crying, this 2nd step has worked for me in 2 very expected ways: Either they get the point and they have the will to be stronger against their diseases, or they end up telling me how insensitive I am, how rude, cruel and how I can't possibly understand them.
I can live with either of the 2. I know that someday I'll be in the same situation, and I hope to have somebody as rude as me to keep me back on my feet. Too bad that until today I just have myself to cry with and myself alone to be cruel and rude with myself and to call me names to get angry on how conformist I'm becoming. In sickness or in any aspect on my life.
You know how many times I complained stongly when I was sick this week? 2 times. One when I started with the huge pain and 2nd when I had my 2nd fall past monday and mom wanted me to go to spend 3 hrs in the supermarket to buy the groceries, dehidratated, with loose stomach and with a hot weather.
I learned not to complain a lot about my own diseases and problems. But my only defect in this matter is that when I'm nervous or get stressed I start to talk, usually complaining about others.
Yeah, I don't understand them. But does anybody really wants to understand or just listen to me? We'll never know, at this moment of the game, I think that nobody will know bcause I got tired of waiting. Is this what people call to start to get independent? It's not scary at all, at least not this emotional part. I just need to get a punch bag so I can either punch it or hug it. I might use a photo of Hugh jackman's face on the hug side and a face or name of the person in turn to be hit.
Whatever.
Updates that will improve my life:
I'm reorganizing my room. Now it's looking more like a workspace. When I go to wallmart today I'll look for some plastic things to put my bottles of paint on. It will be better than having all this little bottles in my desk.
This will improve HUGELY my work. Now I can have 2 big canvases in my room and not only one. This is way too good.
I will say this. I have too many ponies. But as a friend would say about one important aspect of her life. I can't part with them right now, maybe in the future, not now. I want to get a big space to show my collections: Angel figures, ponies and Saint seiya action figures. Then I'll sell some stuff.
Well, I'm out to keep finishing the details on my room. Before and After Pictures will come later.
Have a good day.
Love
Diana
Is it me or is the world revolving around a conformity enviroment?
If I get angry about my friend being too spoiled and searching to be even more spoiled, people tells me that I can't control how people feel about diseases. Fine. Then I should had complained even more for my stomach pain, it was harder than my menstrual cramps. Sadly I start thinking that there are even worst pains that other people might be suffering, so I try not to complain much.
If I get angry bcause mom can't understand a modern joke. I'm told that she grew in a different time. Now mom tries to make this kind of jokes, damnit, people can change, but nobody ask them to try.
Today, I had to listen to an aunt talking in the phone, she recently had her uterus removed, so she's still resting at home. Oh, but she calls to our home, first, asking in good manners how we are. Fine, all normal. Then she asks me for my dad. He's not home. Then she starts telling me how SHE is, you know, 5 minutes hearing her talking about her watching tv, trying to walk, blah blah blah, normal situations for a housewife who was recently in surgery. No problem, I understand that her husband and son are useless and mexican machos, so they only care about making jokes about her and try to survive without her making their meals, but I'm sure that grandma moved in with them to cook something for his big fat husband and the lazy leech they're raising.
Ohhh but after this endless one-sided conversation she starts to tell me about her hemorroids problems and about her physical changes that made her know that she has hemorroids.
I was like "Why the hell should I be listening to this?" and after lots of blah blah blah, she comes with the question she should had made me from the start. My other grandma had hemorroids (wich I didn't remember bcause she never talks about her diseases outloud) and my aunt wanted the name of the doctor she went to visit.
I really don't care much about dad saying that this aunt loves me a lot. I like her, but somehow somebody should tell her that if she treats people like little children (I mean from 0-2 years old) she might have even more improvement about a lot of aspects in her life. She even asks ME about if she should try something for her crafts. Now I realize how much the family has ruined me, now I see where I come from and where I don't want to end in. It's ok to ask for advices, but asking all the time if she can do something??? Damn, and I wondered why I am so bad making decissions.
Anyway, I tell dad when he arrives that after 10 minutes of telling me her diseases and random things about her internal organs she asked me if I knew the name of the doctor. I always complain about her talking and stuff and dad ALWAYS comes out like a knight in a shinning armor trying to protect her.
"You know your aunt, she's like that."
"Damn, but why did I have to listen all her complaints about her digestive system?"
Dad in a bad mood now:
"Look, you know that people feel different when they're sick, why don't you understand that?" (Same old song when I told him about my friend)
Fuck, I just don't understand! Why when I was little I never got this kind of considerations? But the rest of the people does? I'm a big believer that in order to help a friend or a family member when they're sick is, 1st. To listen to them when they feel down, like a shoulder where they can cry in (wich I never had at home). And 2nd, to give them a realistic look of their problem so we can find a better way out than crying, this 2nd step has worked for me in 2 very expected ways: Either they get the point and they have the will to be stronger against their diseases, or they end up telling me how insensitive I am, how rude, cruel and how I can't possibly understand them.
I can live with either of the 2. I know that someday I'll be in the same situation, and I hope to have somebody as rude as me to keep me back on my feet. Too bad that until today I just have myself to cry with and myself alone to be cruel and rude with myself and to call me names to get angry on how conformist I'm becoming. In sickness or in any aspect on my life.
You know how many times I complained stongly when I was sick this week? 2 times. One when I started with the huge pain and 2nd when I had my 2nd fall past monday and mom wanted me to go to spend 3 hrs in the supermarket to buy the groceries, dehidratated, with loose stomach and with a hot weather.
I learned not to complain a lot about my own diseases and problems. But my only defect in this matter is that when I'm nervous or get stressed I start to talk, usually complaining about others.
Yeah, I don't understand them. But does anybody really wants to understand or just listen to me? We'll never know, at this moment of the game, I think that nobody will know bcause I got tired of waiting. Is this what people call to start to get independent? It's not scary at all, at least not this emotional part. I just need to get a punch bag so I can either punch it or hug it. I might use a photo of Hugh jackman's face on the hug side and a face or name of the person in turn to be hit.
Whatever.
Updates that will improve my life:
I'm reorganizing my room. Now it's looking more like a workspace. When I go to wallmart today I'll look for some plastic things to put my bottles of paint on. It will be better than having all this little bottles in my desk.
This will improve HUGELY my work. Now I can have 2 big canvases in my room and not only one. This is way too good.
I will say this. I have too many ponies. But as a friend would say about one important aspect of her life. I can't part with them right now, maybe in the future, not now. I want to get a big space to show my collections: Angel figures, ponies and Saint seiya action figures. Then I'll sell some stuff.
Well, I'm out to keep finishing the details on my room. Before and After Pictures will come later.
Have a good day.
Love
Diana