ycnedneped it's complicated
I've tried to stop using my journal for personal posts,
but I need it sometimes.
I think I need to find that satisfaction by just knowing myself. I wish I was satisfied with just being me, I wish I didn't depend on someone else.
A lot of people with they didn't depend on other people. Things would be easier if you just felt your best because YOU could take care of yourself. You wouldn't have to hope that that other person would be there for you when you need them, or when you feel that you do.
But, I guess if people didn't need each other, the world would be a little lonelier. That emotional dependency wouldn't be there, so you'd just try to take care of other things, like food or money, and do what you have to for that- probably in a mean/greedy/sneaky/snake-like way. no one would bother being considerate or anything.
So, I guess dependecy does turn out to be good in the very end, but the immidiate feelings don't seem so.
It hurts, but it can be scary too. Thinking that this person you depend on could be gone. Well, not physically. Personally, I depend on someone so much that if I feel that they do not care about me as much as I need them to, then I would be struggling with just living life. I hate that about myself, how I refuse to care about myself enough if someone else doesn't care about me enough. Or if I lost them altogether, I'd lose myself.
I'm stuck. gosh.
tweygOQYWDihfdjkfhjHGIUGHghadkn chfa ghiujHOIEhOGI
but I need it sometimes.
I think I need to find that satisfaction by just knowing myself. I wish I was satisfied with just being me, I wish I didn't depend on someone else.
A lot of people with they didn't depend on other people. Things would be easier if you just felt your best because YOU could take care of yourself. You wouldn't have to hope that that other person would be there for you when you need them, or when you feel that you do.
But, I guess if people didn't need each other, the world would be a little lonelier. That emotional dependency wouldn't be there, so you'd just try to take care of other things, like food or money, and do what you have to for that- probably in a mean/greedy/sneaky/snake-like way. no one would bother being considerate or anything.
So, I guess dependecy does turn out to be good in the very end, but the immidiate feelings don't seem so.
It hurts, but it can be scary too. Thinking that this person you depend on could be gone. Well, not physically. Personally, I depend on someone so much that if I feel that they do not care about me as much as I need them to, then I would be struggling with just living life. I hate that about myself, how I refuse to care about myself enough if someone else doesn't care about me enough. Or if I lost them altogether, I'd lose myself.
I'm stuck. gosh.
tweygOQYWDihfdjkfhjHGIUGHghadkn chfa ghiujHOIEhOGI