(no subject)
I'm getting my cat back tomorrow. I am so fucking terrified. I'm afraid that the moment she comes back to me, something will happen and I'll be unable to help her. I'm afraid she won't adjust. I'm afraid she'll take off and get lost. I honestly want her to stay indoors, but I'm afraid to press about it with the lady I'm renting my room from. She's so incredibly nice, but I'm afraid to ask about making Sugar an indoor cat, even though that's honestly what I want.
I'd feel better if Sugar stayed indoors where she'd be safer. I don't even know what I'll do if something happens to Sugar. Like when she lost her teeth. I want to have her checked up and receive some of her shots, the absolutely essential ones. But I'm afraid if I take her in, they'll say, "There's something wrong and you can't even begin to afford to fix it. You're gonna have to put her down to prevent future suffering."
Just the thought of Sugar keeps me going some days, and if possible, I'd trade ten years of my life for the promise she'd live a good, full, healthy life. I don't know if I'm not selfish for wanting to bring her here, but I know my sister is getting annoyed with her, and after she messaged me about Sugar pooping in the bathtub and suggesting that if it couldn't be fixed, one of the solutions was to put the cat down, I've been terrified to keep Sugar with her. I don't know if she wouldn't do something to her.
I just wish I could curl up with Sugar in my arms for the rest of her life and let nothing touch her ever.
Also, this is why I can never be a mother. I wouldn't be able to let my child out of my sight without having an emotional breakdown.
I'd feel better if Sugar stayed indoors where she'd be safer. I don't even know what I'll do if something happens to Sugar. Like when she lost her teeth. I want to have her checked up and receive some of her shots, the absolutely essential ones. But I'm afraid if I take her in, they'll say, "There's something wrong and you can't even begin to afford to fix it. You're gonna have to put her down to prevent future suffering."
Just the thought of Sugar keeps me going some days, and if possible, I'd trade ten years of my life for the promise she'd live a good, full, healthy life. I don't know if I'm not selfish for wanting to bring her here, but I know my sister is getting annoyed with her, and after she messaged me about Sugar pooping in the bathtub and suggesting that if it couldn't be fixed, one of the solutions was to put the cat down, I've been terrified to keep Sugar with her. I don't know if she wouldn't do something to her.
I just wish I could curl up with Sugar in my arms for the rest of her life and let nothing touch her ever.
Also, this is why I can never be a mother. I wouldn't be able to let my child out of my sight without having an emotional breakdown.