May 17, 2003 23:02
so i just feel like writing here im bored and home alone unfortunetly everyone had to go out to EMH i know i didnt tell u guys before but my aunt is sick and dying and now well shes pretty much dead only thing keepin her alive is a machine shes brain dead and all that i couldnt go i couldnt stand to see her that way so different from how i knew her growin up not the same u know? i mean theres nothing i can say ive known it was comming so its no shock to me shes almost 90 yrs old what can one expect right? just didnt know it would be now...now of all times when things are/(were) so perfect happy time in my life right? ehh no wrong answer.....last weekend ppl i knew got killed here i think i updated about that before i dunno but if i didnt 3 friends of mine died in a car wreck and as if that wasnt the bone right there...my aunt got OD'd on blood thinners which is why shes how she is now
i guess things happen like this for a reason what reason i dont know but it did happen :( anyways i stayed home cant go there cant see her like that when Chris died that was it for me i lost it..and now this? the only person other than my bro that cared for me and was there for us an everything? i tell u this tho that woman man.....thats one hell of a woman right there fuckin almost 90 yrs old and would still climb on a roof to fix it if it needed done she raised her kids my grandpa's kids ran businesses built hers n her brothers houses so much stuff she did sorry just had to get something out but i swear man ugh...i dunno i dont feel anything no hate no anger not upset cant cry i just dont know there are no feelings in me im blank forreal just blank empty.......i mean i accept it i know its dont theres nothing i can say but what i dont understand is why i cant and dont feel anything is there something wrong with me wtf? well i guess ill end this update and ill write another one in a few