News Mag #4 - July 13th, 2009
((Volunteered to do this. If I missed any major headlines, please say so.))
Legendary Chaos Emerald Stolen!
As the museum opened its first day since the Chaos Emerald was delivered to it, citizens got a small window of opportunity to view it before multiple culprits and even an army of the Pig Masks attempted to steal it! After everyone was searched, it was revealed that the only unsearched person was Leon Powalski, who is now a wanted fugitive by the police. Officer Meryl Silverburgh is currently looking into this.
Cuckoos Gone from Cuckoo Lady's House in Kakariko Village!
Once again all of the Cuckoo Lady's cuckoos have gone missing. Nobody has bothered to attempt to find them this time. One villager has even reported, "It happens every week. I don't think anyone gives a @#$% anymore."
Random City's Potato Chip Supply Gone Dry!
The potato chip factory in Random City has supposedly been forced to shut down by evil ninja pirate ducks. The police have nothing to say on this matter.
World-renowned Heroes (and Villains) Come to Diamond City!
The worldwide recognized heroes Megaman and Kirby have come to Diamond City! Some tourists hope they stick around for a while. However, Dr. Robotnik, self-proclaimed 'World Conqueror', has also taken refuge in Diamond City aboard his airship. Currently the police are keeping a close eye on the doctor, awaiting any sort of hostile movements.
It Rained Today for the First Time in Two Weeks
The town was overjoyed since the grass would get its nourishment. They booed because they were holed inside their houses all day.
Grand Opening of Club Rouge
Rouge the Bat and Shadow the Hedgehog have opened up Club Rouge, a stadium that can be used for sparring matches! Its first day saw an open sparring session, and some contenders stepped forward to match each other!
King Dedede: Still a Douche
King Dedede is beginning to irritate a lot of tourists and townsfolk alike with his arrogant attitude. Some have reported wanting to 'clobber that pengy over the head with a wrench!'
Lacey Glacey undergarments?
Apparently there is a Glacey undergarment brand underway. The brand name is so bad it can't even be printed in this.
Odd Cuckoos with Mustaches...?
A couple of cuckoos have been reportedly seen running around the pasture outside of town with mustaches painted on their faces. Nobody has any answers regarding why this is.
Legendary Chaos Emerald Stolen!
As the museum opened its first day since the Chaos Emerald was delivered to it, citizens got a small window of opportunity to view it before multiple culprits and even an army of the Pig Masks attempted to steal it! After everyone was searched, it was revealed that the only unsearched person was Leon Powalski, who is now a wanted fugitive by the police. Officer Meryl Silverburgh is currently looking into this.
Cuckoos Gone from Cuckoo Lady's House in Kakariko Village!
Once again all of the Cuckoo Lady's cuckoos have gone missing. Nobody has bothered to attempt to find them this time. One villager has even reported, "It happens every week. I don't think anyone gives a @#$% anymore."
Random City's Potato Chip Supply Gone Dry!
The potato chip factory in Random City has supposedly been forced to shut down by evil ninja pirate ducks. The police have nothing to say on this matter.
World-renowned Heroes (and Villains) Come to Diamond City!
The worldwide recognized heroes Megaman and Kirby have come to Diamond City! Some tourists hope they stick around for a while. However, Dr. Robotnik, self-proclaimed 'World Conqueror', has also taken refuge in Diamond City aboard his airship. Currently the police are keeping a close eye on the doctor, awaiting any sort of hostile movements.
It Rained Today for the First Time in Two Weeks
The town was overjoyed since the grass would get its nourishment. They booed because they were holed inside their houses all day.
Grand Opening of Club Rouge
Rouge the Bat and Shadow the Hedgehog have opened up Club Rouge, a stadium that can be used for sparring matches! Its first day saw an open sparring session, and some contenders stepped forward to match each other!
King Dedede: Still a Douche
King Dedede is beginning to irritate a lot of tourists and townsfolk alike with his arrogant attitude. Some have reported wanting to 'clobber that pengy over the head with a wrench!'
Lacey Glacey undergarments?
Apparently there is a Glacey undergarment brand underway. The brand name is so bad it can't even be printed in this.
Odd Cuckoos with Mustaches...?
A couple of cuckoos have been reportedly seen running around the pasture outside of town with mustaches painted on their faces. Nobody has any answers regarding why this is.