(no subject)
"I woke up at 5am, couldn't sleep...took alot of drugs too but only go like 4 hours.
Watched the sunrise, and now it is absolutely beautiful outside today. I know why its so beautiful today.
And its not because the sun is shining or its nice out...which it is for a change...its because Brad is in true peace now.
He will never suffer again.
I can't wait to play tonight, knowing you will be by my side. I am trying hard to not be selfish in this, I want you back so bad, but thats ok...you are better, among new friends. I know you will be with us tonight.
Anyone who doesn't belive in true beauty, love, or God should start to re-evaluate their lives.... God has shown himself through this. I respect those who don't belive in God...but maybe you should take a second look at life. I know i am, have and will continue to.
I was sad yesterday, thankful today, and tonight we will celebrate a person who will live far beyond their own lifetime.
Josh.CTH"
i'm sure most of you have heard by now and don't need this update for me to tell you... Brad passed away on Friday.
not going to lie, i was a mess. [i feel incredibly selfish saying that by the way, when i know people that were a lottt closer to him than i was] i didnt get much sleep, i cried through out the entire drive to school and my first couple classes, and was only able to stop thinking about it later in the afternoon when i had tests/projects etc that kept my mind busy.
i'm a lot more at peace with it now though. he's in a better place, and i'm glad that he isn't suffering anymore.
Friday night helped too, just hanging out, seeing everyone again, talking about it on the drive there, and later the show, just, well being a distraction.
i think a part of me doesnt want to believe it. that he's really gone.
his funeral is Tuesday i think, and i'm asking my parents to let me skip school that day. hopefully that will help bring.. closure i guess.
we love you brad, and we miss you. and we know you're up in heaven looking down on us. rest in peace ♥
josh is right. we have to stop being sad. with your personality that brought joy and light where ever you were, i know you wouldn't want it any other way.
i'm keeping this entry public because i just feel like it should be.
and i'm fucking pissed beyond words that i dont have the money to be at PKI right now with CTH since theyre playing fear fest. a;ldfkja;dflkj
:[
ps, i really appreciate all the comments on the last entry. ilyall. i really do.