A visit with the puffball! What could possibly go wrong?

[shardsearch]

Characters: Ribbon, Kirby, Porky, Robotnik, Megaman
What: On her way to mingle with Kirby, Ribbon is captured
Where: The streets of Diamond city
When: Before the Dedede and Kirby fight
Rating: PG(?)

Comments

[kingporky]

Back in the Empire Porky Building, the secret headquarters of the Pig Masks, President Porky and the rest of his employees were hard at work, coming up with new toy designs. Empire Porky toys have become a strange hit so quickly that other competitors saw fit to increase their own productivity. Business has been booming and so, many employees were asked to work overtime...

The president himself was also hard at work...
But Porky redefined the definition of "work", of course. The definition of work we're using right now means "lazing his fat, selfish ass off in his personally granted harem"...
There were a few rooms that were private to only the president himself and the "harem" room was one of them... This room was decorated in a Mid-Eastern style. There were unwrapped presidents lying around everywhere, along with desserts of all shapes and varieties...
In the top center of the room on a considerably large bed, the President himself was being "entertained" by a group of women, all dressed as if they were Mid-Eastern belly dancers...

"Kyahahahah!! Ain't this the life, girls?" the old Porky asked, "No troubles, no worries, just you... You, you, you, you, you, you... And me~" The girls nodded, "Oh yes, King P~ There's nothing more in the world we want than you~" One of the girls fed Porky a piece of cake. Another girl in front of her fed Porky some soda out of a wine glass to go with it. "Kyahahahahha!!!!!!"

Suddenly, the phone in the room started ringing. "... Eh... Go answer that," Porky sighed, waving his arm. One of the girls picked up the phone. "Yes? This is President Porky's, err... Office,"

[oh_my_pork]

"HAIL PORK!!" cried a Pig Mask on the other line, "I mean, uhh... Oh, is the King 'busy'? ... Ahhhhh, that kind of busy," He sighed a little after realizing what the King was doing. This was either a sigh of jealousy or a sigh of exasperation, but it didn't matter what it was for the moment. "All right, then, could you pass him a message? ... What, you can't even do that? Listen, it's important that the King hears this! We found a Chaos-" The line was disconnected at that point. "What did he say, Jack?" the other Pig Mask asked. "Ahh... It was his 'secretary'... Let's give him another call," Jack said, redialing.

[kingporky]

"Who was that?" Porky asked, pretending as if he cared. The harem-girl turned back to the king and giggled cutesy-like. "No, nobody," the girl replied, "Just some nobody saying they have a Chaos... Som-" But before the girl could finish her sentence, Porky exclaimed, "Chaos Emerald!? ... Ahh, call those guys back... I need to make a phone call of my own. This is... Presidential business," Porky reached for a remote control nearby. Grabbing it, he pointed it at the wall in front of him and pressed a button. A large, flat screen television slid down from the compartment that had opened up on the ceiling. This special television was made for private conversations to be possible between the doctor and him. Any phone call could possibly be tracked... The screen now projected the interior of Robotnik's airship. On Robotnik's end of the screen, a view of the harem room would be projected, with Porky and all of his girls around him...

"Ohh, Botsyyy... Where aaare you?" Porky called out.

[therealrobotnik]

How he hated that nickname. But for now he had to live with it, now that he was getting help from the man.

Robotnik came over and sat down on his usual chair, looking straight into the monitor. "What is it, Porky?" He had his serious face on, hoping that whatever it was, it was important. "Did you find something?"

[kingporky]

"Oh, we're getting straight to business so soon? That's so boring, though," Porky sighed, leaning down on the bed. "I had hoped that we could at least chat or something. I mean, after all, you're SUCH an INTERESTING person," The other girls around him just laughed at the thought. "Oh, but Your Highness, didn't you recently call the doctor a 'boring, egg-shaped loser'?" a harem-girl asked. To that, Porky replied, "Oh, I guess I did. But I don't mean it in such a bad way~" Porky said, laughing. The rest of the girls laughed alongside their king.

[therealrobotnik]

Luckily enough, Robotnik cared enough about the news that he ignored what one of the girls said, and continued. "Well, on with it then. Did you find a chaos emerald?" Robotnik was not one to beat around the bush when it came to information. He wanted to know it and he wanted to know it now.

[kingporky]

"Oh, Botsy," a harem-girl answered, "A man so wrapped up in business is just so... Unattractive. You ought to loosen up, one of these days," Porky giggled and commented, "She has a point," Another girl, the girl who was on the phone with the Pig Masks, commented, "As boring a topic this is, you have your silly emerald. Honestly, Botsy, you're such a nerd, to care about rocks this much... You're a good-looking man. You're breaking some woman's heart out there,"

...
After a bit of silence, the entire harem roared with laughter.
"Oh, THAT was a good one, Sylvia!!" Porky exclaimed, "I always thought you were the funniest!!"