A VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL COMMONERS
Characters: Dedede, anyone in earshot
What: Dedede gets a megaphone. Coincidentally, the frequency of ear injuries reported goes up around the same time this log happens.
Where: One of the busy streets in Diamond City
When: May 30th, 11 AM
Rating: PG-13, because words.
Several weeks ago, there had been a normal discussion about a wonderful world, where people knew, understood, and upheld the basic respects of Not Being A Dick. It was a world where people flushed, no one ripped open products in the store, and there weren't coughed-up loogies all over the floor. It was a perfect world, indeed.
Leave it to Dedede to somehow screw this up as well.
He stood on a platform, placing him high enough to give that leaderly look he needed. It was wooden, painted a shiny gold It was pure gold, dammit. A few Waddle Dees stayed around the box, mostly to keep the peace in case, say, a bunch of screaming fans mobbed the stage so they could all get a piece of the sexy, sexy king there. It was a very legitimate concern.
One key detail: He had a megaphone. He took a deep breath, and those within hearing distance unconsciously shuddered in the fraction of time they had left.
"Hello, everyone!" Why was he so loud. Oh, God, why was Dedede so loud? "This is the king of Dreamland speaking! Hold your questions, compliments, and make-out requests until I'm done here!
"Now, you may be wondering why I've taken time out of my very busy schedule to speak here today. It has been brought to my attention that we have a serious problem on our hands. Basically, some people are dicks. They'll run around and do dickish things, like pee in the pool or not wipe off their table if there's no waiter and they've spilled grape juice and fries everywhere.
"'But how do we fix this, King Dedede?' you may ask. 'You don't rule this city!' Not a problem! How do you think I clawed my way to the top? I rallied and convinced everyone that I was right, and then I was accepted as the King of Dreamland, Manly, and Kingliness! We can do something similar here! But without the power shift in the city -- being the leader of one kingdom and two concepts is taxing enough.
"I propose we try and get a law passed around here. This law is called D.B.A.D., sort for Don't Be A Dick. Every time someone breaks a cardinal rule, like spits on the ground, leaves gum on store products, or leaves presents in the toilet, the police get them, right? Then we do what those guys in the past did and put them in a pillory for a while so we can laugh at their stupid ass! They'll be shamed into never doing stupid crap again! To work on bringing it to the attention of the head honchos so that this becomes a reality, we can probably just yell at them until they give in!
"So, what do you say? Don't Be A Dick sounds great, yes?"
The Waddle Dees next to him were deaf at the moment. Dedede had huge lungs to have spent half that time shouting right into the megaphone.
What: Dedede gets a megaphone. Coincidentally, the frequency of ear injuries reported goes up around the same time this log happens.
Where: One of the busy streets in Diamond City
When: May 30th, 11 AM
Rating: PG-13, because words.
Several weeks ago, there had been a normal discussion about a wonderful world, where people knew, understood, and upheld the basic respects of Not Being A Dick. It was a world where people flushed, no one ripped open products in the store, and there weren't coughed-up loogies all over the floor. It was a perfect world, indeed.
Leave it to Dedede to somehow screw this up as well.
He stood on a platform, placing him high enough to give that leaderly look he needed. It was wooden, painted a shiny gold It was pure gold, dammit. A few Waddle Dees stayed around the box, mostly to keep the peace in case, say, a bunch of screaming fans mobbed the stage so they could all get a piece of the sexy, sexy king there. It was a very legitimate concern.
One key detail: He had a megaphone. He took a deep breath, and those within hearing distance unconsciously shuddered in the fraction of time they had left.
"Hello, everyone!" Why was he so loud. Oh, God, why was Dedede so loud? "This is the king of Dreamland speaking! Hold your questions, compliments, and make-out requests until I'm done here!
"Now, you may be wondering why I've taken time out of my very busy schedule to speak here today. It has been brought to my attention that we have a serious problem on our hands. Basically, some people are dicks. They'll run around and do dickish things, like pee in the pool or not wipe off their table if there's no waiter and they've spilled grape juice and fries everywhere.
"'But how do we fix this, King Dedede?' you may ask. 'You don't rule this city!' Not a problem! How do you think I clawed my way to the top? I rallied and convinced everyone that I was right, and then I was accepted as the King of Dreamland, Manly, and Kingliness! We can do something similar here! But without the power shift in the city -- being the leader of one kingdom and two concepts is taxing enough.
"I propose we try and get a law passed around here. This law is called D.B.A.D., sort for Don't Be A Dick. Every time someone breaks a cardinal rule, like spits on the ground, leaves gum on store products, or leaves presents in the toilet, the police get them, right? Then we do what those guys in the past did and put them in a pillory for a while so we can laugh at their stupid ass! They'll be shamed into never doing stupid crap again! To work on bringing it to the attention of the head honchos so that this becomes a reality, we can probably just yell at them until they give in!
"So, what do you say? Don't Be A Dick sounds great, yes?"
The Waddle Dees next to him were deaf at the moment. Dedede had huge lungs to have spent half that time shouting right into the megaphone.