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[diamond_wings]

Wow okay. I just give up on boys. you are everything they are about and they want someone completely opposite. you try to please or be ideal to something they like, and they don't want you. im so sick of being unspokenly rejected. every boy is fucking in love with someone else. its like, "HEY i met you too late, i love someone else even though she'

Comments

[diamond_wings]

oh my. I couldnt care less about the hugging. I hug everyone I see, that could no possible way look like something else.
i dont understand why i made you nervous. wth? i dont even think we were ever friends. A few weeks ago I would of said, of course we are friends, of course. But nope. You did deserve everything I said to you. You had it coming from me, or someone else. The biggest thing I DONT understand is why, right before I "blew up", you completely ignored me. And as you said rightly, ignored my existence. What the fuck is up with that?
I had been under the impression that things were honky dory.
I dont think I forgive and forget. dont you think for one second maybe some day you could break a pattern? try something new, geez, its what makes people hella interesting. i wouldve talked to you so much more if i had ever known what was going on in your life. but you never really let me in, and i was just left there.
by the way, thanks so much for ignoring my existence. because obviously, thats what everyone likes.
we were never friends?
i did miss talking to you. but i dont know if that really matters.

[ministryoftears]

hmmmmm, well the reason i ignored you was because of the same reason i do with EVERYONE, i CANT get close to people, you can ask ANY of my ex girlfriends, honestly they dont know a lot about me. i dont open up very easily, i have done it too many times just to be exploited later. i didnt think you really cared that i didnt talk that much, you never said anything about it. I didnt know what you thought about me. People were telling me all these things, but that doesnt mean shit to me, unless i hear it from THE person. Im sorry i ignored you, i know its wrong, and i realize that you prbably will never forgive me. and im alright with that now, i mean thats your personal right, and i DID consider you a friend, and would still like to. Matt told me that if something went wrong you would hate me, and apparently he was right. I AM SORRY, i cant stress that enough, and all of this REALLY gets me down. everyday since that message, i have wondered about how to fix it, how i couldve changed things, and honestly i still dont know what you want. If you wanted me to open up, im sorry. you didnt tell me very much about yourself either. most of the time we just sat there and listened to the postal service...which was fine with me. what do i do now? i mean shit meagan, youre telling me i need to fix my mistakes, yet im trying to fix this one but you wont let me. im not asking for a forgive and forget, im simply asking to forgive. but i am about to give up, i cant do this anymore, im running my emotions into the ground. if you wish to hate me then so be it, i tryed. i am sorry. you have no idea how bad i despise this. i wish it would all be over and better. but i guess its gonna be over, without a solution. i seem to be at a deadend with you, and there is no detour. im beginning to think i should just turn away. please tell me if thats what you want. because if so, you will never hear from me again.

[diamond_wings]

Firstly and foremostly, LOLZZ @ Matt. He never talks to me anymore.
Anyways, when I talk to my friends, I tell them i hate you. But its just a front. When i tell you I hate you, its just a front. To push you away. Because, as you do, its the easiest thing to do, and forget whoever did me wrong. But I don't actually hate you. And thats never been told to anyone who i've "hated" before. I don't really hate you. I actually really, really, want to be your friend really bad and make a better start and friendship. But i'm so scared. I'll let you fix it. And this is it. We're fixing it right now. Guess what it is? TALKING. LMFAO. I don't want it to be a "Hey, weren't you sort of friends with him at one time?" thing, where if i'm asked that question all i can say is "Yeah, but i'll never hear from him because he thought I hated him."
Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I can't get my point across so i dunno if this makes sense. Heres the positive shit from me.
My stomach sinks everytime I tell someone I hate you. Because its an enormous lie.
I'm sorry for lying. I lied so much.
I have a secret that I don't give reasons behind what I do. I never told Matt why I called him and Broke up with him. I haven't ever told my childhood best friend why I didn't go to her house that one day, and now she's gone. Forever.
i dont know what to doooooo. i dont mean to throw people mean glances in class, or in the hall way. I just push them away so bad.

[ministryoftears]

so we're good, its all over? and i understood all of that. geez now i can sleep. thank you madame. im still sorry. but now im happy that i dont have to fret over you hating me. you have no clue how much that means to me. and i promise i wont be douchebag again, well i mean purposely. and now we CAN start this right, last time WASNT right at all. so yes, im going to talk to you, in the hallway, or wherever else i see you. THE END.

[diamond_wings]

dont forget it.
byeee