How will we know when
Ragnarok nears?
A decapitated Dalek has been found drowned
in a pond in Hampshire. The story is reported not as a grisly murder but a curiosity found while on a cleaning operation. Yet a soundbite offerer is keen to stress "we made a very thorough search of the rest of the bottom of the pond and there were definitely no alien remnants lurking".
A kangaroo has adopted the tactics of a rambunctious toddler and broken into a bedroom in an Australian family house, where it
jumped on the family bed while those who had been sleeping happy hid hoping it would go away. Although initially mistaken for a "lunatic ninja" by the dad of the household, Mr Ettlin soon realised what was happening, and was moved to get the beast in a headlock when it bounded into his son's bedroom. Ettlin later told the press: "I didn't know what would happen if it got into my son's bed."
Jimmy Carr has it within himself to write cute jokes, about kittens (albeit in the Para-Olympics) or Casper. His girlfriend had a phantom pregnancy, I learnt yesterday: now they’re the proud parents of a lovely baby ghost. Bless.
WHAT?