(no subject)
I was angry all day.
Just like each time we've talked, I didn't sleep. I woke up hour by hour by hour by hour.
I spent the day in this strange contentedly angry shell. Not torturous, just angry. Not brewing and moving. Stagnant and negative.
But as soon as I spoke to you today it has all disappeared. And for no real reason. And with it, these memories flash back into my mind. Sparks that seem to come out of nowhere and blind me with their tangibility.
And of all the things I've learned so far, and all the things I've wondered about and worried about, I have always been sure that I cannot remember. That survival depends on forgetting.
Just like each time we've talked, I didn't sleep. I woke up hour by hour by hour by hour.
I spent the day in this strange contentedly angry shell. Not torturous, just angry. Not brewing and moving. Stagnant and negative.
But as soon as I spoke to you today it has all disappeared. And for no real reason. And with it, these memories flash back into my mind. Sparks that seem to come out of nowhere and blind me with their tangibility.
And of all the things I've learned so far, and all the things I've wondered about and worried about, I have always been sure that I cannot remember. That survival depends on forgetting.