Yourr dumbb.
my day is just starting today..i didnt have eniugh sleep last night cause i was thinking about alot of things as usual, i just realized that i have been thinking alot lately..its so fucking weird mann...aghh.
i still dont understand whats up with him..i want him to tell me why is he acting like that..why does he make me feel i did something wrong again? or maybe i did...i just dont see it..
WTF?!?!..okay..so icalled him last night like around 3 am..cause i really wanted to talk to him..but him..he fucking talked to me for like not even a minute cause he said he wanted to go to sleep, i mean..what the fuck right? i wanted to sleep too but i would rather talk to him first you know? like i wanna clear things up with him but i guess he doesnt want to.. All i want him to fucking do is to tell me what he really feels about everything so i wont have to think about something else ..like so i wont have to worry about anything ..i just want him to open up all his emotions to me..he cant just kepp it to himself..well..if he doesnt want it to open up with me, thats fine, he just needs to tell someone and not to keep it to himself cause he might blow up into pieces..lol.
He doesnt trust me at all, well myabe he does but not completely, its really sad how i only lied to him once or twice and then thats whats gonna happen? okay, i know i was wrong for putting him on a test, but why doesn he think that i did that cause i think hes cheating on me??? i mean..its not even that...i just really wanted to see his reactions about the things you know..but as usual, he started thinking SHITT again, im so fucking tired of him thinking shit cause it will jsut ruin everything you know??
sooo...different storyy now..lols.
my mom will come back here soon from las vegas..AGH. that bitch didnt let me go to my friends party..if she did let me, i wont hate her more that i hate her now..
...i fi went to that party, he probably wouldeve gone too yah know? then..he will drink, and i will probably smoke weed and get baked , and in that case, we will probably able to tell each other what we really feel inside ..or maybe he can tell me why is he acting weird or maybe answer all the questions i wanted him to answer before..
..but that thing that i wished happened, didnt happen...
CAUSE AGAIN!!!! my fucking mom didnt let me go.. she treats me like a fucking prisoner and i dont fucking get it...aghh..shes such a fucking bitch and i fucking hate her..i dont like it when she and her silly brothers and sisters fucking mind my fucking own world when i dont want them to. who the fuck are they?!?!? ITS MY FUCKINGGGG LIFE MANN...im gonna do whatever i fucking want to do with it...i dont really care what they say,..but im just scared that if i dont fucking follow them..i might have to go back to the philippines...WTF?!?...well..i guess its fine now..i would rather go back there than to fucking deal with this shit that i am dealing right now..at least there..IM FREE..at least there, i wont live in fucking prison..at least there, i can do whatever i fucking want without anyone minding my own business..
....but i know, i know that i wont be happy...its still going to be hella fucking different..the people around you, the environment, and everything..EVERYTHINGGG will be fucking different ..and i know that it wont make me happy cause the special someone in my life is here..i dont wanna leave him, i really dont..i also dont wanna leave this girl whos so fucking special to me..my bestfriend, my sister...i dont wanna leave her!! we have gone through many things already..MANY MANY MANY things already but i dont fucking know?!?!?
my life is BULSHITTTT right now...
like sometimes, i just wanna fucking die you know?? well seriously tho, i am ready to fucking dia..or..im not scared of death, im not scared to face the afterlife..why???..hmm..i dont know?? i just am ready..people dont believe me when i tell them that, but i dont care...if thats what they think, then okay..i wont force them..but me..i know what im really saying..its like..whats the point of living if these things will just happen to you?? your supposed to be happy right? but im not fucking happy..i wan to be happy but people wont let me..]=..i tried everything but it still didnt work..this is sooooooo fucking crappy..lol. im not religous so i wont care what you fucking say..i dont believe in god, but i believe that theres a higher power..whatever that is..i dont believe that theres heaven...or theres also hell..LOL..thats BULLSHIT MANN...bullshit..i mean, how can people say that we all have those stuff? have they fucking seen it?..ahaha..bullllllfuckingshit..well..im just saying my opinion. i dont really care...its their life so what do i fucking care..ima mind my own life..and they can mind their own life..aha..if they wanna believe in god or something else..thenn..do it?? LOL.
well yeah..i dont fucking know...fuck this...fuck your couch.,
..
i still dont understand whats up with him..i want him to tell me why is he acting like that..why does he make me feel i did something wrong again? or maybe i did...i just dont see it..
WTF?!?!..okay..so icalled him last night like around 3 am..cause i really wanted to talk to him..but him..he fucking talked to me for like not even a minute cause he said he wanted to go to sleep, i mean..what the fuck right? i wanted to sleep too but i would rather talk to him first you know? like i wanna clear things up with him but i guess he doesnt want to.. All i want him to fucking do is to tell me what he really feels about everything so i wont have to think about something else ..like so i wont have to worry about anything ..i just want him to open up all his emotions to me..he cant just kepp it to himself..well..if he doesnt want it to open up with me, thats fine, he just needs to tell someone and not to keep it to himself cause he might blow up into pieces..lol.
He doesnt trust me at all, well myabe he does but not completely, its really sad how i only lied to him once or twice and then thats whats gonna happen? okay, i know i was wrong for putting him on a test, but why doesn he think that i did that cause i think hes cheating on me??? i mean..its not even that...i just really wanted to see his reactions about the things you know..but as usual, he started thinking SHITT again, im so fucking tired of him thinking shit cause it will jsut ruin everything you know??
sooo...different storyy now..lols.
my mom will come back here soon from las vegas..AGH. that bitch didnt let me go to my friends party..if she did let me, i wont hate her more that i hate her now..
...i fi went to that party, he probably wouldeve gone too yah know? then..he will drink, and i will probably smoke weed and get baked , and in that case, we will probably able to tell each other what we really feel inside ..or maybe he can tell me why is he acting weird or maybe answer all the questions i wanted him to answer before..
..but that thing that i wished happened, didnt happen...
CAUSE AGAIN!!!! my fucking mom didnt let me go.. she treats me like a fucking prisoner and i dont fucking get it...aghh..shes such a fucking bitch and i fucking hate her..i dont like it when she and her silly brothers and sisters fucking mind my fucking own world when i dont want them to. who the fuck are they?!?!? ITS MY FUCKINGGGG LIFE MANN...im gonna do whatever i fucking want to do with it...i dont really care what they say,..but im just scared that if i dont fucking follow them..i might have to go back to the philippines...WTF?!?...well..i guess its fine now..i would rather go back there than to fucking deal with this shit that i am dealing right now..at least there..IM FREE..at least there, i wont live in fucking prison..at least there, i can do whatever i fucking want without anyone minding my own business..
....but i know, i know that i wont be happy...its still going to be hella fucking different..the people around you, the environment, and everything..EVERYTHINGGG will be fucking different ..and i know that it wont make me happy cause the special someone in my life is here..i dont wanna leave him, i really dont..i also dont wanna leave this girl whos so fucking special to me..my bestfriend, my sister...i dont wanna leave her!! we have gone through many things already..MANY MANY MANY things already but i dont fucking know?!?!?
my life is BULSHITTTT right now...
like sometimes, i just wanna fucking die you know?? well seriously tho, i am ready to fucking dia..or..im not scared of death, im not scared to face the afterlife..why???..hmm..i dont know?? i just am ready..people dont believe me when i tell them that, but i dont care...if thats what they think, then okay..i wont force them..but me..i know what im really saying..its like..whats the point of living if these things will just happen to you?? your supposed to be happy right? but im not fucking happy..i wan to be happy but people wont let me..]=..i tried everything but it still didnt work..this is sooooooo fucking crappy..lol. im not religous so i wont care what you fucking say..i dont believe in god, but i believe that theres a higher power..whatever that is..i dont believe that theres heaven...or theres also hell..LOL..thats BULLSHIT MANN...bullshit..i mean, how can people say that we all have those stuff? have they fucking seen it?..ahaha..bullllllfuckingshit..well..im just saying my opinion. i dont really care...its their life so what do i fucking care..ima mind my own life..and they can mind their own life..aha..if they wanna believe in god or something else..thenn..do it?? LOL.
well yeah..i dont fucking know...fuck this...fuck your couch.,
..