I've Come Home From So Far...
Each day I am baffled by the growth I've experienced this past year. Where once I saw only darkness, now I finally see light.
Finally I once again have amazing friends, a respectable career, a beautiful house, and a romantic, handsome boyfriend. And yet at times this perfect life feels inadequate. Or more appropriately when I view the life and appearence of those more beautiful and charismatic than me, I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy. Worse, a flair of competition. Argh!
My friend Clair, self-involved and conceited as she is, is nice and smart. Yet these traits have, as of late, been ignored. Recently Clair was published in a magazine and instead of being happy for her, I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of anger. My friend Shanon, though she has no personality, is GORGEOUS! And, once again, I am annoyed more than thrilled. Worse yet, my best friend Ananda is beautiful and has the most relatable personality of anyone I've ever known...somehow I am jealous of even her.
I feel that competition is healthy. It allows one to grow, learn, develop. But, I do not appreciate my approach, which seems to be closer to a form of resentment.
It is my goal to work toward being balanced. The power of three; fitness, social / intelligence, and diet. Through this, I truely believe one can feel happy and content. And through this, I believe healthy competition can be acheived.
I truly believe I am destined for something great. I know how to attract it, I've mastered that. Now it's a matter of focus.
Finally I once again have amazing friends, a respectable career, a beautiful house, and a romantic, handsome boyfriend. And yet at times this perfect life feels inadequate. Or more appropriately when I view the life and appearence of those more beautiful and charismatic than me, I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy. Worse, a flair of competition. Argh!
My friend Clair, self-involved and conceited as she is, is nice and smart. Yet these traits have, as of late, been ignored. Recently Clair was published in a magazine and instead of being happy for her, I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of anger. My friend Shanon, though she has no personality, is GORGEOUS! And, once again, I am annoyed more than thrilled. Worse yet, my best friend Ananda is beautiful and has the most relatable personality of anyone I've ever known...somehow I am jealous of even her.
I feel that competition is healthy. It allows one to grow, learn, develop. But, I do not appreciate my approach, which seems to be closer to a form of resentment.
It is my goal to work toward being balanced. The power of three; fitness, social / intelligence, and diet. Through this, I truely believe one can feel happy and content. And through this, I believe healthy competition can be acheived.
I truly believe I am destined for something great. I know how to attract it, I've mastered that. Now it's a matter of focus.