xxxx
Still missing Swansea like crazy....
I miss it everyday. And its almost a physical thing. Like there is an actual ache in my chest where my flatmates and goofy Swansea things should be.
I get to talk to Owain like everyday, and that helps. It makes me happy. But it makes me sad, really really hopelessly sad, to think that I won't get to see him for six months. Not til Christmas. And even then its only if I can raise enough money for a roundtrip flight out there. I pray everynight for it. I love that goof. He's my best buddy - and in a different way than my best girlfriends here. First of all, cause he's a guy duh. Secondly, I dunno...I can just hang out with him for ages on end and not get sick of him. Thirdly, he's fun to flirt with. ;) The future scares me cause I don't like to think of a future without my best bud in it.
Its not like being home is miserable. But I'd gotten so used to living with a ton of people. It was fun - the noise, the gossip, the goings-on, the immature pranks. Our block was like a little family. Even when I had nothing to do, I was content over there. But when I got home I dove right in to responsibility. Of course that will make things hard. And the fact that none of my best friends are anywhere near me. Alli is in Rome. Allison is in NC. Lani is in Augusta. And Allison N has been gone a whole lot. Kristine's in Tennesee. I want them all here!!! I want to celebrate being 21 with them. I want to chill out with them and have funnnnn.
I love being at home with my family. They're great, as always. My dad's a funny gooftball, and my mom is sweet and a little neurotic, but sweet. My cats are all cute retards and fun to lay around with.
But I still miss Swansea. And I'm not sure I want to stop. Cause if I stop, that means I'll be as happy here as I was there. And I want a clear division or something. I want to know where I belong. I don't want it to be confusing and vague. But in the meantime, I want to be a rich celebrity who can jet over to the UK and back whenever they want. I want that!
I guess all I can do right now is save money and pray. So that's what I'm doing.