don't cry for me, I'm going to Argentina
heh.. sorry I had to.
Anyways, here I am, for a little while anyway. Tonight, my flight to Cordoba (JFK-Lima, Lima-Buenos Aires, Buenos Aires-Cordoba) leaves at 10:30pm.
I guess this is it. From here on out, its pretty much just me, raw, exposed and alone. We'll see if I can handle it, eh? I have to depend only on myself, my abilities to communicate and learn, and I'm going to have to put myself out there like nothing I've done before. Break the last barrior that holds me back. Its going to be challanging... thats for damn sure. But it seems like I've been waiting for this for such a long time. This is the final step to the reset button I pushed 8 years ago... this is the final step that pretty much erases what I hated about myself in Minneapolis and all that is left is a purified verson of me, if you will. And this is probably my only chance. No holding back now, Jessica.
my hope is that when I come back, I can finally be myself all the time. No more useless fears, nothing holding me back (especially not myself) and more confident and secure.
And honestly, its probably not the trip that is doing this. Those of you who've gone abroad already know that you can just go and be the same old you except on vacation in another country. Yes, it is still an amazing time and you learn a lot, but its not all that I am saying up there. I think I am taking this more as an opportunity to do the things I've always wanted and to finally do and be who I want without hesitation.
I've come a long way since when I moved to CT 8 years ago... the girl I was is almost unrecognizable except to those who knew me when I was very small. I think Caprice wouldn't know who I am, and she was my best friend for the longest time. My aunt said she doesn't know me anymore.. and I was kind of hurt when she said it, but now that I look back on it, I am very different now.
And I still grew a lot by going to school in Virginia. I am much more relazed and my self when I am at Hollins and with my girls. I don't worry so much about insignificant things, and I am happier with myself. But there is just that little bit left, just a little more confidence that I need to gain. I am usually good, but there are times when I slip back into old habits and ways. This trip may be my last chance to break free for good of all of that. (Plus, I'll be doing something I love [Spanish] in a beautiful country with relaxed people by the MOUNTAINS! What could be a better place to do this?)
I guess, all that said, this is going to be an amazing trip. No matter what happens, no matter if I finally attain all this confidence and security that I'm talking about, I know I'm coming back to an amazing life, with amazing friends, and an amazing boyfriend, with amazing memories of Argentina.
So... let the adventure begin!
Anyways, here I am, for a little while anyway. Tonight, my flight to Cordoba (JFK-Lima, Lima-Buenos Aires, Buenos Aires-Cordoba) leaves at 10:30pm.
I guess this is it. From here on out, its pretty much just me, raw, exposed and alone. We'll see if I can handle it, eh? I have to depend only on myself, my abilities to communicate and learn, and I'm going to have to put myself out there like nothing I've done before. Break the last barrior that holds me back. Its going to be challanging... thats for damn sure. But it seems like I've been waiting for this for such a long time. This is the final step to the reset button I pushed 8 years ago... this is the final step that pretty much erases what I hated about myself in Minneapolis and all that is left is a purified verson of me, if you will. And this is probably my only chance. No holding back now, Jessica.
my hope is that when I come back, I can finally be myself all the time. No more useless fears, nothing holding me back (especially not myself) and more confident and secure.
And honestly, its probably not the trip that is doing this. Those of you who've gone abroad already know that you can just go and be the same old you except on vacation in another country. Yes, it is still an amazing time and you learn a lot, but its not all that I am saying up there. I think I am taking this more as an opportunity to do the things I've always wanted and to finally do and be who I want without hesitation.
I've come a long way since when I moved to CT 8 years ago... the girl I was is almost unrecognizable except to those who knew me when I was very small. I think Caprice wouldn't know who I am, and she was my best friend for the longest time. My aunt said she doesn't know me anymore.. and I was kind of hurt when she said it, but now that I look back on it, I am very different now.
And I still grew a lot by going to school in Virginia. I am much more relazed and my self when I am at Hollins and with my girls. I don't worry so much about insignificant things, and I am happier with myself. But there is just that little bit left, just a little more confidence that I need to gain. I am usually good, but there are times when I slip back into old habits and ways. This trip may be my last chance to break free for good of all of that. (Plus, I'll be doing something I love [Spanish] in a beautiful country with relaxed people by the MOUNTAINS! What could be a better place to do this?)
I guess, all that said, this is going to be an amazing trip. No matter what happens, no matter if I finally attain all this confidence and security that I'm talking about, I know I'm coming back to an amazing life, with amazing friends, and an amazing boyfriend, with amazing memories of Argentina.
So... let the adventure begin!