right, so i suck
yeah, i know im not on LJ much. but at least i dont do emo updates. i do productive shit. and if you guys care, thats even better.
anyways, finished script and finished pages 1-6. (well hopefully ill have the finished pages uploaded by the time you guys check em out.)
PAGE 1
Panel 1: Establishing shot of apartment complex. Three stories. See a figure on the roof of one of the buildings. Its Travis.
CAPTION: Been meaning to do this for a while.
Panel 2: Upshot from inside of a bedroom. See person playing guitar. Over his shoulder, through the window, you see Travis on the adjacent rooftop, readying gun.
Panel 3: Closer shot of Travis on rooftop, checking rifle out. Travis is wearing a white, collared, button up shirt and black pants.
CAPTION: I was actually running a little early for work, so I thought I'd kill a few minutes.
Panel 4: Close up on Travis' face. He's looking through the scope, which is reflecting the image of the guitar player. There is a vague smile on Travis' face.
Panel 5: Aerial shot of Travis laying on rooftop, aiming at the guitar player through the window. Now there is someone standing on the roof with him, though.
Panel 6: Behind the back of the new guy on the roof. You see him holding shurikens behind his back.
PAGE 2
Panel 1: New guy throws shurikens at Travis.
SHURIKEN GUY: Isn't revenge a little unprofessional?
CAPTION: SHIT!
Panel 2: Travis rolls out of the way of the shurikens and reaches behind his back to pull a pistol out of the back of his pants.
TRAVIS: You kiddin' me? I live for revenge.
CAPTION: I almost died for revenge. I almost let him get me.
Panel 3: Shuriken guy runs as Travis shoots at him.
CAPTION: Well, he returned the favor, he left me presents.
Panel 4: Show Travis jumping off of rooftop to chase shuriken guy, who is hiding around the corner of the building.
CAPTION: I can't believe that fat ninja wannabe almost got me.
PAGE 3
Panel 1: Travis gets kicked in the face hard by shuriken guy.
Panel 2: Shuriken guy runs.
CAPTION: Oh well, it's worth it.
Panel 3: Travis hunched over on ground, holding his face.
CAPTION: I really hate this guy.
Panel 4: Travis, getting up now, pulls a shuriken out of his shirt pocket.
CAPTION: I'd rather kill him anyway.
Panel 5: Aerial shot of Travis throwing shuriken at shuriken guy.
Panel 6: Close up of shurikens guy's face as the shuriken hits him.
Panel 7: Shuriken guy laying dead on ground with shuriken sticking out of his spine. Travis holding himself up in the background.
CAPTION: In the back. Fitting.
Panel 8: Travis looking at his watch.
TRAVIS: Shit. Late.
PAGE 4
Panel 1: Far shot. See dead shuriken guy laying where he fell. See Travis running towards his car.
Panel 2: Travis runs by original target's window.
TRAVIS: I'll get you later.
Panel 3: Opening car door.
Panel 4: In car. Hand on stick shift.
MUSIC: Exit out the back and never show your head around again.
Panel 5: Backing car out.
MUSIC: Purchase your ticket and quickly take the last train out of town.
Panel 6: Car takes off.
MUSIC: So stand aside and let the next one pass. Don't let the door kick you in the ass.
Panel 7: Establishing shot of restaurant. Travis pulling into restaurant parking lot. Sign for restaurant says "Booth's Place"
Panel 8: Travis parks close to building. See him entering restaurant, aapron resting on his shoulder.
PAGE 5
Panel 1: Interior shot of Travis coming into restaurant. Very zombie-esque and tired looking.
Panel 2: Melanie (hostess) is looking at her watch.
MELANIE: Six thirteen. Right on time. Any sooner and I'd be worried about you.
Panel 3: Travis, half smiling.
TRAVIS: Wouldn't have it any other way.
MELANIE: Trav, you look kinda tired.
TRAVIS: When am I not?
Panel 4: Pulled out shot to show patrons and employees.
MELANIE: Well, you're in luck! We're busy tonight.
Panel 5: Melanie in foreground turning to talk to Travis as he walks to the kitchen.
TRAVIS: Aw, fer chrissakes.
MELANIE: Better hurry.
Panel 6: Travis going through swing door to enter kitchen.
TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, gotcha.
PAGE 6
Panel 1: Adam turns to look at Travis.
ADAM: Late again?
Panel 2: Show Travis, propping himself on the counter in front of the computer terminal, with Adam in the background, getting food ready.
TRAVIS: Of course.
Panel 3: Upshot. Adam getting a steak knife for one of his dishes.
ADAM: Busy humping your dog again?
Panel 4: Shot of Travis' face, sneering.
TRAVIS: Nah. Your girlfriend.
Panel 5: Adam throws the steak knife at Travis full force.
Panel 6: Big Panel. Travis blocks the knife with a menu while looking at the computer terminal.
Panel 7: Upclose on the "clock in" button on the computer. Travis is pushing it.
PAGE 7
Panel 1: Travis takes the knife out of the menu and tosses it back to Adam.
TRAVIS: "Better luck next time."
Panel 2: Travis tosses the menu back on the counter.
Panel 3: He grabs his apron.
Panel 4: Travis puts the apron on while walking over to the cook.
Panel 5: Medium shot. Travis in foreground. Travis is now standing behind the line, in the kitchen, talking to the cook. He looks up from what he's cooking to respond to Travis.
TRAVIS: "Hey Dick."
DICK: "Yo"
PAGE 8
Panel 1: Overhead shot. Dick cooking, Travis leaning on wall.
TRAVIS:"What're we out of?"
DICK: "Fish. Period. All fish is out. T-Bones are gone."
Panel 2: Dick flipping meat on the grill.
DICK: "We're getting low on the chicken for the platters, but I can rig up those with the salad chicken. And we're getting low on mashed potatoes so try to push baked potatoes n shit."
Panel 3: Medium shot. Travis walking out from behind the line.
TRAVIS:"Damn son, order some food."
Panel 4: Same perspective, but Travis is closer to the viewer.
DICK (from behind the counter, too short to be seen):"Ain't me, man."
PAGE 9
Panel 1: Travis walking out of the double doors from the kitchen.
Panel 2: He goes to the hostess podium to check the seating chart.
TRAVIS: "Where they got me?"
Panel 3: The seating chart. Layout of the restaurant. Names of the servers in each section they are assigned. Travis' name in the back corner.
MELANIE:"You got the hill."
TRAVIS: "Sweet."
Panel 4: Travis talking to Melanie.
MELANIE: "Why sweet?" It's slowest up there."
TRAVIS: "Exactly. Less people to piss me off."
Panel 5: Melanie laughing. A nice smile, not a big, uproarous laughter.
MELANIE: "Shhh, you gonna get yoself in trouble."
Panel 6: Travis walking back towards the kitchen.
PAGE 10
Panel 1: Travis in the kitchen. Also see Adam in there, expoing food. Also show Tim standing around.
Panel 2: Chris comes busting in the door with a small tray of empty glasses.
CHRIS: "Hey, can someone help me run some food?"
Panel 3: Chris walking off panel towards dishwasher with the tray. Travis stands there yawning.
DICK (from behind counter): "Travis will!"
Panel 4: Travis, still yawning.
Panel 5: Chris comes back to grab his food. Travis finishes yawning.
TRAVIS: "Thanks fatass."
TRAVIS: "Yeah. Sure. I'll run it."
PAGE 11
Panel 1: Travis and Chris each grab a large tray full of food that Adam has set up.
CHRIS: "Alright, grab this tray."
Panel 2: They leave the kitchen and head to the table. Down shot onto them to show the path to the tabel theyre walking to. Seeing where Chris' section on the seating chart earlier should also help out with this.
Panel 3: The table. It is a large man (fat) and his wife, two younger children (6 to 12 range) and maybe the guy's brother and brother's wife. Trayjacks are set up with trays full of food resting on them.
CHRIS: "Cajun chicken pasta?"
Panel 4: Waist up shot of the fat guy holding his arm up.
FAT GUY: "Right here."
Panel 5: Travis hands Chris another plate.
CHRIS: "Ok. Who had the potato skins?"
Panel 6: Fat guy again, arm raised.
FAT GUY: "Here."
Panel 7: Travis is wide eyed and trying not to laugh.
TRAVIS: "Alright, Chris, you got this?"
Panel 8: Travis, walking away from the table. See Chris still passing out plates to the table behind Travis.
CHRIS:" Yeah, thanks man."
TRAVIS: "No prob."
PAGE 12
Panel 1: Back in the kitchen. Travis comes walking into kitchen, cracking up.
TRAVIS:" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh.... Man.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Panel 2: Travis props himself up on the counter, trying not to fall over in laughter. Adam, Nikita, Tim, and Dick are looking at him, puzzled.
TRAVIS: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Holy fatass, Batman..... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Panel 3: Adam walks over to Travis.
ADAM: "What's so funny?"
PAGE 13
Panel 1: Travis, attempting to stand unaided, still half laughing.
TRAVIS: "Super fatty out there got AT LEAST two meals for himself. I had to leave before I laughed out on the floor."
Panel 2: Chris walks back in the kitchen with the empty trays and tray jacks. He sets the tray jacks by the door.
TRAVIS: "Holy shit, Chris, how many plates did that guy get?"
CHRIS: "Pasta, potato skins, chicken quesadilla and a salad."
Panel 3: Chris walking over to put trays up, Nikita on the computer, and Travis standing near Nikita.
TRAVIS: "Man, that salad is NOT going to make up for the fatassery of that other crap."
NIKITA: "Travis! You're such an ass."
Panel 4: Behind Travis' back, showing Nikita, Adam, and Chris.
TRAVIS: "True, but I'm right."
TRAVIS: "By the way, Chris, super fatty is on your team. And all the people at that table are blocked just for being seen in public with him."
CHRIS: "Shit. I'm always slow on that."
PAGE 14
Panel 1: Upclose on Nikita's face. She's confused.
NIKITA: "What're you guys talkin about? What team?"
Panel 2: Chris and Adam look at Travis.
TRAVIS: "Eh, alright."
Panel 3: Travis looks at Nikita.
TRAVIS:"It's a game I picked up in Orlando. A heartless game. Food service is perfect for this game, cuz the customers are perfect prey."
Panel 4: A couple more of the crew has gathered around.
ERIC: "What's goin on?"
CHRIS: "He's explaining drafting."
ERIC: "Awesome."
PAGE 15
Panel 1: The whole page is just a collage of the faces of the people talking and examples of the people they are talking about.
TRAVIS: "The idea of the game is to put the trashiest, oldest, most gimped, fattest, most degenerate scum of society you can find onto each other's team, giving them the worst team possible."
CHRIS: "Like the guy at my table."
NIKITA: "What team?"
TRAVIS: "Just an imaginary team that everyone has. The sole purpose of the team being that it it composed of the losers you see from day to day."
NIKITA: "How do you win?"
ADAM: "Well, see, that's the thing. No one every really wins or loses. Except the people drafted. They all already lost."
NIKITA: "So what's the point?"
TRAVIS: "To have fun."
ERIC: "And make fun of ugly people."
Panel 2 (inset): Full body shot of Dick, pointing to his gut.
DICK: "And fat people."
OFFPANEL: "Don't forget blocking."
PAGE 16
Panel 1: Travis, arms crossed in an X shape in front of his face.
TRAVIS: "Right. If you see someone who is kind of fat, but not impressively so, you can block them."
Panel 2: Shot of Travis and Nikita. Behind Nikita, from just below her butt. Show Travis, gesturing with his hands as he talks.
TRAVIS: "What this means is that they are not so horrendous as for you to put on someone's team, but you dont exactly want them on your team either. So like kinda fat people, like me. Oh, and buffets are blocked all the time."
Panel 3: Nikita mid shot.
NIKITA: "Why? Wouldn't that be a perfect place to draft?"
Panel 4: Dick, pointing to air.
DICK: Exactly. You'd have to walk in there and start pointing out each and every fatty in the place and that'd get old real quick."
Panel 5: Nikita walking out of kitchen.
TRAVIS: "Yeah, so to save time and mass humiliation, they're all blocked."
NIKITA: "HAHA. Man, that's horrible."
TRAVIS: "Yep."
PAGE 17
Panel 1: Melanie comes in through the kitchen doors.
MELANIE: "Travis, you got three."
Panel 2: Travis standing, Melanie still peeking through the doors.
TRAVIS: "Gahdammit. Why me?"
MELANIE: "They requested you."
Panel 3: Behind the doors, looking into the kitchen over Melanie's head, at Travis.
TRAVIS: "They cute?"
MELANIE: "No girls there."
Panel 4: Travis grabs three napkins on the way out to the table.
TRAVIS: "Gay."
PAGE 18
Panel 1: Travis hopping up the stairs to his section.
Panel 2: Travis gets to his table. Behind Travis' back to show the three guys are sitting there. Rod and Kevin are sitting to Travis' left, Matt is sitting to his right.
TRAVIS: "Hey guys, how's it goin?"
Panel 3: Upclose on Rod's head. Kevin in the background behind him.
ROD: "Eh."
Panel 4: Back of table, looking down to see the three guys sitting, looking at Travis, who is standing at the head of the table.
TRAVIS: "Good to hear. What can I start you guys off to drink with?"
ROD: "Guiness."
KEVIN: "Water."
MATT: "Dr. Pepper, no ice."
Panel 5: Travis walking away from the table. Showing Travis' front, then past him is the table.
TRAVIS: "Alright, I'll be right back with that for ya."
MATT: "Yo, can we just get an order of cheese sticks tossed in real quick, too?"
TRAVIS: "Sure."
PAGE 19
Panel 1: Travis comes through kitchen doors to ring in order. Show Nikita by the counter, getting stuff together.
NIKITA: "Hey Travis."
Panel 2: Travis in front of comp, ringing in order. Over the shoulder, showing the screen would probably work best here.
TRAVIS: "Yo."
NIKITA (off panel): "Dick's on your team."
Panel 3: Behind the kitchen counter, showing Dick on tippy toes to look over the food window at Nikita.
DICK: "What, bitch? You can't do that."
NIKITA: "I just did."
Panel 4: Travis, getting the water, Dr. Pepper already on a small tray just to the side of the fountain machine.
TRAVIS: "Actually, he's right."
NIKITA: "What?"
TRAVIS: "To save the feelings of friends, we made the 'Association Rule.'"
Panel 5: Travis puts raises the tray up off the counter top.
TRAVIS: "What that means is that you can't draft someone if they are known by the person whose team you're putting them on. In this case, I know Dick, so he can't go on my team."
NIKITA: "Ah, what the hell? Why didn't you tell me that earlier?"
Panel 6: Travis backing out the double doors of the kitchen.
TRAVIS: "I had a table."
PAGE 20
Panel 1: Travis grabs the guiness off the bar on his way to the table.
Panel 2: Travis at his table, handing out the drinks.
TRAVIS: "Sticks are in. I'll have em out as soon as they're up."
Panel 3: Rod and Kevin.
ROD: "No prob, man. We ain't gonna be here long."
KEVIN: "Yeah, we've just heard good things about you."
Panel 4: Travis looks concerned.
Panel 5: Kevin slides an envelope to Travis.
KEVIN: "...not like that."
ROD: "We'll be back with the other half when you're done."
Panel 6: Travis slides the envelope into his apron.
TRAVIS. "K. Any preferences?"
KEVIN: "It's all in there."
TRAVIS: "Ahright."
Panel 7: Travis starts walking off.
MATT: "Can we just get those sticks to go?"
TRAVIS: "No prob. Be right out."
PAGE 21
Panel 1: Travis dumps the sticks from the plate to the togo box.
Panel 2: Back at the table. He drops off the sticks. Rod hands Travis a $20 bill.
TRAVIS: "Thanks guys, take care."
ROD: "Later."
Panel 3: Travis grabs the glasses and silverware from the table.
Panel 4: Travis walks past Liz at the computer on his way to the dishwasher.
DICK (from behind food window): "Yo, Liz, why'd you ring in a T-Bone? We don't got T-Bones."
Panel 5: Liz turns around to see Dick face to face. Liz is a tall girl. 6' 2" or so. She looks down the window to Dick.
LIZ: "What? Why not?"
DICK: "Uh... Cuz the fucking shelf is empty."
Panel 6: Liz turns back around, frustrated.
LIZ: "Why didn't you tell me?"
DICK (from behind food window): "I did."
LIZ: "No you didn't!"
PAGE 22
Panel 1: Upshot from over Dick's shoulder. See Liz turning her head back around slightly to yell at him.
DICK: "I told everyone else."
LIZ: "So why not me?"
DICK: "Fine, I'll get some to make a list."
Panel 2: Over Adam's shoulder. Seeing the list he is making. At the top of the list is an underlined 86. Then the items that Adam lists of, writing them as he says them. The list that is shown in the panel is complete down to the mashed potatoes.
DICK: "Adam! Can you make a list for these guys?"
ADAM: "Got it. We are eighty six T-Bones, all fish, entree chicken, and mashed potatoes."
Panel 3: Big panel. This is the link of the restaurant to the killing. Travis opens up the envelope handed to him to find money, a note, and a picture with a name on it.
TRAVIS (relatively quiet): "And Dan Dieckman."
pictures:
http://diabolicol.respark.net/86
anyways, finished script and finished pages 1-6. (well hopefully ill have the finished pages uploaded by the time you guys check em out.)
PAGE 1
Panel 1: Establishing shot of apartment complex. Three stories. See a figure on the roof of one of the buildings. Its Travis.
CAPTION: Been meaning to do this for a while.
Panel 2: Upshot from inside of a bedroom. See person playing guitar. Over his shoulder, through the window, you see Travis on the adjacent rooftop, readying gun.
Panel 3: Closer shot of Travis on rooftop, checking rifle out. Travis is wearing a white, collared, button up shirt and black pants.
CAPTION: I was actually running a little early for work, so I thought I'd kill a few minutes.
Panel 4: Close up on Travis' face. He's looking through the scope, which is reflecting the image of the guitar player. There is a vague smile on Travis' face.
Panel 5: Aerial shot of Travis laying on rooftop, aiming at the guitar player through the window. Now there is someone standing on the roof with him, though.
Panel 6: Behind the back of the new guy on the roof. You see him holding shurikens behind his back.
PAGE 2
Panel 1: New guy throws shurikens at Travis.
SHURIKEN GUY: Isn't revenge a little unprofessional?
CAPTION: SHIT!
Panel 2: Travis rolls out of the way of the shurikens and reaches behind his back to pull a pistol out of the back of his pants.
TRAVIS: You kiddin' me? I live for revenge.
CAPTION: I almost died for revenge. I almost let him get me.
Panel 3: Shuriken guy runs as Travis shoots at him.
CAPTION: Well, he returned the favor, he left me presents.
Panel 4: Show Travis jumping off of rooftop to chase shuriken guy, who is hiding around the corner of the building.
CAPTION: I can't believe that fat ninja wannabe almost got me.
PAGE 3
Panel 1: Travis gets kicked in the face hard by shuriken guy.
Panel 2: Shuriken guy runs.
CAPTION: Oh well, it's worth it.
Panel 3: Travis hunched over on ground, holding his face.
CAPTION: I really hate this guy.
Panel 4: Travis, getting up now, pulls a shuriken out of his shirt pocket.
CAPTION: I'd rather kill him anyway.
Panel 5: Aerial shot of Travis throwing shuriken at shuriken guy.
Panel 6: Close up of shurikens guy's face as the shuriken hits him.
Panel 7: Shuriken guy laying dead on ground with shuriken sticking out of his spine. Travis holding himself up in the background.
CAPTION: In the back. Fitting.
Panel 8: Travis looking at his watch.
TRAVIS: Shit. Late.
PAGE 4
Panel 1: Far shot. See dead shuriken guy laying where he fell. See Travis running towards his car.
Panel 2: Travis runs by original target's window.
TRAVIS: I'll get you later.
Panel 3: Opening car door.
Panel 4: In car. Hand on stick shift.
MUSIC: Exit out the back and never show your head around again.
Panel 5: Backing car out.
MUSIC: Purchase your ticket and quickly take the last train out of town.
Panel 6: Car takes off.
MUSIC: So stand aside and let the next one pass. Don't let the door kick you in the ass.
Panel 7: Establishing shot of restaurant. Travis pulling into restaurant parking lot. Sign for restaurant says "Booth's Place"
Panel 8: Travis parks close to building. See him entering restaurant, aapron resting on his shoulder.
PAGE 5
Panel 1: Interior shot of Travis coming into restaurant. Very zombie-esque and tired looking.
Panel 2: Melanie (hostess) is looking at her watch.
MELANIE: Six thirteen. Right on time. Any sooner and I'd be worried about you.
Panel 3: Travis, half smiling.
TRAVIS: Wouldn't have it any other way.
MELANIE: Trav, you look kinda tired.
TRAVIS: When am I not?
Panel 4: Pulled out shot to show patrons and employees.
MELANIE: Well, you're in luck! We're busy tonight.
Panel 5: Melanie in foreground turning to talk to Travis as he walks to the kitchen.
TRAVIS: Aw, fer chrissakes.
MELANIE: Better hurry.
Panel 6: Travis going through swing door to enter kitchen.
TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, gotcha.
PAGE 6
Panel 1: Adam turns to look at Travis.
ADAM: Late again?
Panel 2: Show Travis, propping himself on the counter in front of the computer terminal, with Adam in the background, getting food ready.
TRAVIS: Of course.
Panel 3: Upshot. Adam getting a steak knife for one of his dishes.
ADAM: Busy humping your dog again?
Panel 4: Shot of Travis' face, sneering.
TRAVIS: Nah. Your girlfriend.
Panel 5: Adam throws the steak knife at Travis full force.
Panel 6: Big Panel. Travis blocks the knife with a menu while looking at the computer terminal.
Panel 7: Upclose on the "clock in" button on the computer. Travis is pushing it.
PAGE 7
Panel 1: Travis takes the knife out of the menu and tosses it back to Adam.
TRAVIS: "Better luck next time."
Panel 2: Travis tosses the menu back on the counter.
Panel 3: He grabs his apron.
Panel 4: Travis puts the apron on while walking over to the cook.
Panel 5: Medium shot. Travis in foreground. Travis is now standing behind the line, in the kitchen, talking to the cook. He looks up from what he's cooking to respond to Travis.
TRAVIS: "Hey Dick."
DICK: "Yo"
PAGE 8
Panel 1: Overhead shot. Dick cooking, Travis leaning on wall.
TRAVIS:"What're we out of?"
DICK: "Fish. Period. All fish is out. T-Bones are gone."
Panel 2: Dick flipping meat on the grill.
DICK: "We're getting low on the chicken for the platters, but I can rig up those with the salad chicken. And we're getting low on mashed potatoes so try to push baked potatoes n shit."
Panel 3: Medium shot. Travis walking out from behind the line.
TRAVIS:"Damn son, order some food."
Panel 4: Same perspective, but Travis is closer to the viewer.
DICK (from behind the counter, too short to be seen):"Ain't me, man."
PAGE 9
Panel 1: Travis walking out of the double doors from the kitchen.
Panel 2: He goes to the hostess podium to check the seating chart.
TRAVIS: "Where they got me?"
Panel 3: The seating chart. Layout of the restaurant. Names of the servers in each section they are assigned. Travis' name in the back corner.
MELANIE:"You got the hill."
TRAVIS: "Sweet."
Panel 4: Travis talking to Melanie.
MELANIE: "Why sweet?" It's slowest up there."
TRAVIS: "Exactly. Less people to piss me off."
Panel 5: Melanie laughing. A nice smile, not a big, uproarous laughter.
MELANIE: "Shhh, you gonna get yoself in trouble."
Panel 6: Travis walking back towards the kitchen.
PAGE 10
Panel 1: Travis in the kitchen. Also see Adam in there, expoing food. Also show Tim standing around.
Panel 2: Chris comes busting in the door with a small tray of empty glasses.
CHRIS: "Hey, can someone help me run some food?"
Panel 3: Chris walking off panel towards dishwasher with the tray. Travis stands there yawning.
DICK (from behind counter): "Travis will!"
Panel 4: Travis, still yawning.
Panel 5: Chris comes back to grab his food. Travis finishes yawning.
TRAVIS: "Thanks fatass."
TRAVIS: "Yeah. Sure. I'll run it."
PAGE 11
Panel 1: Travis and Chris each grab a large tray full of food that Adam has set up.
CHRIS: "Alright, grab this tray."
Panel 2: They leave the kitchen and head to the table. Down shot onto them to show the path to the tabel theyre walking to. Seeing where Chris' section on the seating chart earlier should also help out with this.
Panel 3: The table. It is a large man (fat) and his wife, two younger children (6 to 12 range) and maybe the guy's brother and brother's wife. Trayjacks are set up with trays full of food resting on them.
CHRIS: "Cajun chicken pasta?"
Panel 4: Waist up shot of the fat guy holding his arm up.
FAT GUY: "Right here."
Panel 5: Travis hands Chris another plate.
CHRIS: "Ok. Who had the potato skins?"
Panel 6: Fat guy again, arm raised.
FAT GUY: "Here."
Panel 7: Travis is wide eyed and trying not to laugh.
TRAVIS: "Alright, Chris, you got this?"
Panel 8: Travis, walking away from the table. See Chris still passing out plates to the table behind Travis.
CHRIS:" Yeah, thanks man."
TRAVIS: "No prob."
PAGE 12
Panel 1: Back in the kitchen. Travis comes walking into kitchen, cracking up.
TRAVIS:" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh.... Man.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Panel 2: Travis props himself up on the counter, trying not to fall over in laughter. Adam, Nikita, Tim, and Dick are looking at him, puzzled.
TRAVIS: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Holy fatass, Batman..... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Panel 3: Adam walks over to Travis.
ADAM: "What's so funny?"
PAGE 13
Panel 1: Travis, attempting to stand unaided, still half laughing.
TRAVIS: "Super fatty out there got AT LEAST two meals for himself. I had to leave before I laughed out on the floor."
Panel 2: Chris walks back in the kitchen with the empty trays and tray jacks. He sets the tray jacks by the door.
TRAVIS: "Holy shit, Chris, how many plates did that guy get?"
CHRIS: "Pasta, potato skins, chicken quesadilla and a salad."
Panel 3: Chris walking over to put trays up, Nikita on the computer, and Travis standing near Nikita.
TRAVIS: "Man, that salad is NOT going to make up for the fatassery of that other crap."
NIKITA: "Travis! You're such an ass."
Panel 4: Behind Travis' back, showing Nikita, Adam, and Chris.
TRAVIS: "True, but I'm right."
TRAVIS: "By the way, Chris, super fatty is on your team. And all the people at that table are blocked just for being seen in public with him."
CHRIS: "Shit. I'm always slow on that."
PAGE 14
Panel 1: Upclose on Nikita's face. She's confused.
NIKITA: "What're you guys talkin about? What team?"
Panel 2: Chris and Adam look at Travis.
TRAVIS: "Eh, alright."
Panel 3: Travis looks at Nikita.
TRAVIS:"It's a game I picked up in Orlando. A heartless game. Food service is perfect for this game, cuz the customers are perfect prey."
Panel 4: A couple more of the crew has gathered around.
ERIC: "What's goin on?"
CHRIS: "He's explaining drafting."
ERIC: "Awesome."
PAGE 15
Panel 1: The whole page is just a collage of the faces of the people talking and examples of the people they are talking about.
TRAVIS: "The idea of the game is to put the trashiest, oldest, most gimped, fattest, most degenerate scum of society you can find onto each other's team, giving them the worst team possible."
CHRIS: "Like the guy at my table."
NIKITA: "What team?"
TRAVIS: "Just an imaginary team that everyone has. The sole purpose of the team being that it it composed of the losers you see from day to day."
NIKITA: "How do you win?"
ADAM: "Well, see, that's the thing. No one every really wins or loses. Except the people drafted. They all already lost."
NIKITA: "So what's the point?"
TRAVIS: "To have fun."
ERIC: "And make fun of ugly people."
Panel 2 (inset): Full body shot of Dick, pointing to his gut.
DICK: "And fat people."
OFFPANEL: "Don't forget blocking."
PAGE 16
Panel 1: Travis, arms crossed in an X shape in front of his face.
TRAVIS: "Right. If you see someone who is kind of fat, but not impressively so, you can block them."
Panel 2: Shot of Travis and Nikita. Behind Nikita, from just below her butt. Show Travis, gesturing with his hands as he talks.
TRAVIS: "What this means is that they are not so horrendous as for you to put on someone's team, but you dont exactly want them on your team either. So like kinda fat people, like me. Oh, and buffets are blocked all the time."
Panel 3: Nikita mid shot.
NIKITA: "Why? Wouldn't that be a perfect place to draft?"
Panel 4: Dick, pointing to air.
DICK: Exactly. You'd have to walk in there and start pointing out each and every fatty in the place and that'd get old real quick."
Panel 5: Nikita walking out of kitchen.
TRAVIS: "Yeah, so to save time and mass humiliation, they're all blocked."
NIKITA: "HAHA. Man, that's horrible."
TRAVIS: "Yep."
PAGE 17
Panel 1: Melanie comes in through the kitchen doors.
MELANIE: "Travis, you got three."
Panel 2: Travis standing, Melanie still peeking through the doors.
TRAVIS: "Gahdammit. Why me?"
MELANIE: "They requested you."
Panel 3: Behind the doors, looking into the kitchen over Melanie's head, at Travis.
TRAVIS: "They cute?"
MELANIE: "No girls there."
Panel 4: Travis grabs three napkins on the way out to the table.
TRAVIS: "Gay."
PAGE 18
Panel 1: Travis hopping up the stairs to his section.
Panel 2: Travis gets to his table. Behind Travis' back to show the three guys are sitting there. Rod and Kevin are sitting to Travis' left, Matt is sitting to his right.
TRAVIS: "Hey guys, how's it goin?"
Panel 3: Upclose on Rod's head. Kevin in the background behind him.
ROD: "Eh."
Panel 4: Back of table, looking down to see the three guys sitting, looking at Travis, who is standing at the head of the table.
TRAVIS: "Good to hear. What can I start you guys off to drink with?"
ROD: "Guiness."
KEVIN: "Water."
MATT: "Dr. Pepper, no ice."
Panel 5: Travis walking away from the table. Showing Travis' front, then past him is the table.
TRAVIS: "Alright, I'll be right back with that for ya."
MATT: "Yo, can we just get an order of cheese sticks tossed in real quick, too?"
TRAVIS: "Sure."
PAGE 19
Panel 1: Travis comes through kitchen doors to ring in order. Show Nikita by the counter, getting stuff together.
NIKITA: "Hey Travis."
Panel 2: Travis in front of comp, ringing in order. Over the shoulder, showing the screen would probably work best here.
TRAVIS: "Yo."
NIKITA (off panel): "Dick's on your team."
Panel 3: Behind the kitchen counter, showing Dick on tippy toes to look over the food window at Nikita.
DICK: "What, bitch? You can't do that."
NIKITA: "I just did."
Panel 4: Travis, getting the water, Dr. Pepper already on a small tray just to the side of the fountain machine.
TRAVIS: "Actually, he's right."
NIKITA: "What?"
TRAVIS: "To save the feelings of friends, we made the 'Association Rule.'"
Panel 5: Travis puts raises the tray up off the counter top.
TRAVIS: "What that means is that you can't draft someone if they are known by the person whose team you're putting them on. In this case, I know Dick, so he can't go on my team."
NIKITA: "Ah, what the hell? Why didn't you tell me that earlier?"
Panel 6: Travis backing out the double doors of the kitchen.
TRAVIS: "I had a table."
PAGE 20
Panel 1: Travis grabs the guiness off the bar on his way to the table.
Panel 2: Travis at his table, handing out the drinks.
TRAVIS: "Sticks are in. I'll have em out as soon as they're up."
Panel 3: Rod and Kevin.
ROD: "No prob, man. We ain't gonna be here long."
KEVIN: "Yeah, we've just heard good things about you."
Panel 4: Travis looks concerned.
Panel 5: Kevin slides an envelope to Travis.
KEVIN: "...not like that."
ROD: "We'll be back with the other half when you're done."
Panel 6: Travis slides the envelope into his apron.
TRAVIS. "K. Any preferences?"
KEVIN: "It's all in there."
TRAVIS: "Ahright."
Panel 7: Travis starts walking off.
MATT: "Can we just get those sticks to go?"
TRAVIS: "No prob. Be right out."
PAGE 21
Panel 1: Travis dumps the sticks from the plate to the togo box.
Panel 2: Back at the table. He drops off the sticks. Rod hands Travis a $20 bill.
TRAVIS: "Thanks guys, take care."
ROD: "Later."
Panel 3: Travis grabs the glasses and silverware from the table.
Panel 4: Travis walks past Liz at the computer on his way to the dishwasher.
DICK (from behind food window): "Yo, Liz, why'd you ring in a T-Bone? We don't got T-Bones."
Panel 5: Liz turns around to see Dick face to face. Liz is a tall girl. 6' 2" or so. She looks down the window to Dick.
LIZ: "What? Why not?"
DICK: "Uh... Cuz the fucking shelf is empty."
Panel 6: Liz turns back around, frustrated.
LIZ: "Why didn't you tell me?"
DICK (from behind food window): "I did."
LIZ: "No you didn't!"
PAGE 22
Panel 1: Upshot from over Dick's shoulder. See Liz turning her head back around slightly to yell at him.
DICK: "I told everyone else."
LIZ: "So why not me?"
DICK: "Fine, I'll get some to make a list."
Panel 2: Over Adam's shoulder. Seeing the list he is making. At the top of the list is an underlined 86. Then the items that Adam lists of, writing them as he says them. The list that is shown in the panel is complete down to the mashed potatoes.
DICK: "Adam! Can you make a list for these guys?"
ADAM: "Got it. We are eighty six T-Bones, all fish, entree chicken, and mashed potatoes."
Panel 3: Big panel. This is the link of the restaurant to the killing. Travis opens up the envelope handed to him to find money, a note, and a picture with a name on it.
TRAVIS (relatively quiet): "And Dan Dieckman."
pictures:
http://diabolicol.respark.net/86