Who Cares?
Other people admitting their depression and suicidal thoughts/actions does absolutely nothing for me. I don't care that other people have "been there before." I don't give a damn about anyone else's story. Nothing anyone says is uplifting or even particularly relevent. I DON'T RELATE TO YOU FUCKING PEOPLE.
Furthermore, I don't care how anyone else will feel if I'm dead. Honestly, my ability to care about the feelings of others is largely based on how it impacts me. I'm a selfish prick, after all.
When I feel like I want to die, the reasons I don't kill myself are
a) part of me is convinced things will improve
and
b) I'm scared I'll fuck it up somehow and not die.
That said, at some point I'll probably go through with it. When I do:
To my parents: I'm sorry I was a failure.
To anyone who considered me a friend: Obviously, I gave up. Sorry if this hurts your feelings, but you might have noticed that (regardless of how much I may have liked you) I really only ever cared about myself. Consider this the final proof.
To those I loved and/or who loved me: Sorry I failed you. I tried.
To anyone I hurt: I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention.
That's all I've got right now.
Furthermore, I don't care how anyone else will feel if I'm dead. Honestly, my ability to care about the feelings of others is largely based on how it impacts me. I'm a selfish prick, after all.
When I feel like I want to die, the reasons I don't kill myself are
a) part of me is convinced things will improve
and
b) I'm scared I'll fuck it up somehow and not die.
That said, at some point I'll probably go through with it. When I do:
To my parents: I'm sorry I was a failure.
To anyone who considered me a friend: Obviously, I gave up. Sorry if this hurts your feelings, but you might have noticed that (regardless of how much I may have liked you) I really only ever cared about myself. Consider this the final proof.
To those I loved and/or who loved me: Sorry I failed you. I tried.
To anyone I hurt: I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention.
That's all I've got right now.