The Spark of Youth Chapter 4
Chapter 4
Moments later
Ray didn’t know what to do with himself at all, suddenly. Neela’s brown eyes, unfocused and staring up at him, weren’t helping. He averted his gaze and moved his hands around aimlessly, looking for a place to rest them, but finding none. They stood there for what seemed like hours, Ray with his mouth open, wanting desperately to say something to lighten the situation.
“Neela,” he said, finally, “I-”
He was cut off by Neela pressing her lips against his own again, letting her hands snake into his hair, pulling him towards her. It didn’t take long for him to get caught up in her kiss and pull her closer to him.
Something at the back of his mind told him this was wrong; he had a girlfriend and this was Neela he was kissing. But the feel of her lips was much more prominent in his mind. He marveled at how small she was in his arms, he’d never noticed before. He pressed himself against her, his fingers toying with the back of her shirt.
It was so easy to get lost in this.
A loud crash coming from the house woke him from his stupor with a start. He pulled away like even touching her was burning him.
“Dammit.” He muttered, just ass Neela’s knees buckled and she slumped against him. He caught her just in time and hoisted her up. “C’mon,” he grunted, “I’ll take you home.”
He felt Neela stiffen in his arms and then struggle to get loose. “No! Not home!” She protested, her accent getting thicker by the syllable. “My dad!”
Ray grimaced. “Right. Then I’ll…I’ll take you to Regina’s.”
Neela looked at him, her face scrunched up in confusion. “You live next to Reshjie!” She couldn’t properly hold the ‘g’ sound anymore and, even in her own drunken state, noticed this and laughed to herself.
“You can’t stay with me.” He told her sternly.
“Why?” She asked like a petulant child.
“Because I’m taking you to Regina’s. That’s why.” That obviously wasn’t a reason that would win a debate with her on any other day, but he hoped that she if she was drunk enough to kiss him, she would be drunk enough to let it go.
Neela’s eyes went wide, still utterly confused by his reasoning, but stuck on another point. “But Reshjie hates you!” She exclaimed.
He smiled, happy for the change of subject, and started ushering her into his car. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”
“She really hates you.” Neela urged.
“She loves you, though.” Ray noted.
Neela started giggling. “You love me too!” She sing-songed. An idea came to her. “You should love each other!”
He sighed and started his car with a rough turn of the key. “Yeah.” He wasn’t going to think about which of her comments he was answering.
Neela was asleep by the time Ray pulled into his driveway and he carried her next door.
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When Neela awoke her head was pounding. She groaned as she went to lay on her other side. She noticed that the bed was too soft and the pillows too pink. She turned again and landed face-first in a large Hello Kitty plushie. Right, Neela thought groggily, so Reggie’s room, then. Neela pushed herself up and promptly slid back down again, clutching her head.
Just then Regina entered the room. “Hey there, party girl.” She greeted. “How’re you feeling?”
Neela only groaned in response.
Regina mockingly pouted. “Aww, baby’s first hangover. Such a proud moment. Here, medicine.” She handed Neela a glass of water and two aspirin. Neela moaned as she sat up again and downed the aspirin in one thirsty gulp. Regina watched, extremely amused. “You’ll feel better soon.”
Neela scoffed. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. And a train. At the same time.” She croaked out. “I don’t think I’ll ever feel ‘better’.” She started sliding back down again when something came to her and she shot back up again. “My dad! Oh shit, he’s probably got the bloody police out looking for me as we speak.” She grabbed one of the many pillows on Regina’s bed and hid her face behind it.
Regina didn’t miss the chance to give the reaction to the drama Neela usually gave her; she rolled her eyes with fervor. “I already called your house and said we were having a last minute sleepover. Your mom picked up, she understands, it’s fine. We’ve done it before. I mean, she was kind of pissed I called after midnight, but I’ve dealt with worse.”
Neela let out a sigh of relief. “And how did I get here exactly? I don’t really remember much of anything.”
Regina frowned with distaste. “The jerk-next-door carried you over. You were completely dead to the world.” She explained. “He wouldn’t tell me what happened though.”
Neela finally managed to get herself out of bed. She stood perfectly still for a moment, trying to let the vertigo pass, then she shook herself and let out a deep breath. “You know, I don’t know what happened either. I hope I didn’t throw up on anyone.” She set out to find her missing shoes, she only found one.
“You smelled clean enough when he brought you. Don’t worry.” Regina threw Neela the other shoe. “How much did you drink anyway?”
“A lot?” Neela guessed sheepishly as she put on her shoes. “I’m going over to Ray’s. What time is it?”
Regina checked her watch. “It’s just past noon. So he should be home…sleeping?”
The girls laughed. Ray’s ability to sleep the day away was a thing of legends. “Yeah,” Neela said, “that sounds about right.” She headed for the door.
“Kick him for me or something!” Regina called after her.
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It took Neela ringing the doorbell seven times for Ray to come down and open the door. He looked sleepy and incredibly irritated at being woken up, though the look on his face switched over to ‘deer in the headlights’ mighty fast when he realized who was at the door.
“Oh. Hi.” He said uncertainly. It was obvious, to him at least, that Neela was there to confront him. He urged himself to keep his cool. “What’s up?”
Neela had been feeling okay up until that point, disregarding the headache. Surely, she had reasoned, nothing had actually happened. Now she wasn’t so sure. Her face fell. “What did I do?” She asked morosely.
Ray was taken aback. Was she messing with him on purpose? Was she trying to drive him crazy? He decided to play along and test the waters first: “What do you mean?”
Neela huffed. “I mean that I can’t remember a bloody thing.” Ray let go of the breath he hadn’t even noticed he was holding. Neela noticed it. “What are you relieved for? Please tell me I didn’t do anything stupid.”
Ray hesitated, for the first time in his life unable to think up a lie on the spot. Neela groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Of course I did something stupid. I got bloody pissed, that was stupid enough. Did I embarrass you horribly?”
“You didn’t embarrass anybody.” Neela looked at him skeptically. “I promise. You just drank way more than you’ve ever done before and got really, really, really drunk.”
“On account of me never having been drunk before in the first place.” Neela pointed out. She smiled, relieved. “I suppose the first time’s the worst. So I didn’t do anything stupid like dance on a table or snog a bunch of random boys?”
Ray bit his tongue. “Nope, I made sure you didn’t make an ass of yourself and then I took you home…well, to Regina’s.”
Neela gave him a tight hug. Ray couldn’t stop himself from remembering the night before. He tried to relax. She let go of him and gave him a peck on the cheek. Ray bit the inside of his cheek as hard as he could. “Of course you took care of me.” Neela told him proudly. “My own personal hero.”
Ray winced at the irony. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
“You’d rather I nag?” She asked him and smirked. “Good. Now I can tell you I still blame you for this.”
Ray pursed his lips. He knew she was going to go there. “It is not my fault.”
“Excuse me, but aren’t you the one who made me go to this party? Isn’t it your girlfriend who gave the four beers I can remember drinking and the ones that doubtlessly came after that? It’s totally your fault.”
He threw up his hands in defeat. “Alright. Fine. My fault, whatever. Do you need a ride home?”
Neela was surprised at his quick defeat, but also at herself for not even thinking about how to get home. “Yes, please.” She said gratefully.
“’Kay, let me go shower first.” He let her in. Neither had realized she’d been left standing on the porch the whole time. She sat on the sofa, happy to know she hadn’t pulled a stupid drunken stunt. He stepped into the shower and turned the hot water all the way off, trying to freeze away his guilty conscience and the memories of the night before.
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It was late and Neela’s parents had long since gone to bed. Neela herself was getting ready for bed as well. She had been pulling on a pair of shorts when the doorbell rang. Cursing at her half dressed state she quickly threw on a t-shirt and raced down the stairs, hoping the bell hadn’t woken any of the other inhabitants of the house. The Rasgotra’s tended to be light sleepers. She looked through the window in the door and saw, to her surprise, Kyle standing there. She unlocked the door as quietly as she could.
“Kyle?” She said in a hushed tone. “What are you doing here? It’s almost midnight.”
Kyle looked serious, but then, he almost always did. “I need to talk to you.” He said.
“What, now?” She asked in disbelief. Kyle just looked at her. “Ok, um…want to come in then?”
Kyle shook his head. “Let’s just do it out here.”
Neela stepped outside uncertainly and closed the door halfway behind her. “So…what’d you want to talk about?”
“Ray.” Kyle said simply.
Neela wasn’t following. “What about Ray?”
“You know what it’s about.” He said it like it was obvious. She opened her mouth to say something, but he beat her to the punch. “Look, I like you and all. You’re a friend. You’re my best friend’s best friend, but I’ve known Ray since I was five. No matter what happens, I’m on his side. I won’t let this shit happen and pretend it’s not the most stupid thing he’s ever done.” He paused. “And he’s done a lot of stupid shit. But I’m on his side, no matter how it plays out. Understand?”
Neela did not understand, not at all. “What are you talking about? What happened? What is he supposed to have done? What’s it got to do with me? Is it about last night? He told me I didn’t do anything stupid.” She mentally kicked herself for just believing him so blindly. She should have known something was off.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.” He said irritably. “I’m not in the mood for stupid games.”
“Don’t be an ass, Kyle. I may be small but I don’t have any problems with defending myself. Even against you.” They sneered at each other. Neela was beginning to think she liked Kyle better when he was just silently angry all the time. Things stayed quiet for a while.
“You seriously don’t know what I’m talking about?” Kyle asked, finally, trying to reign in his temper.
“No,” Neela said, “I don’t. Tell me what I’m supposed to have done.”
Kyle was blunt when he told her, as he was in everything he did. “You kissed him.”
Neela laughed hysterically at the absurdity of the idea. “No I didn’t.” She said, barely managing to get the words out. “Don’t be daft.”
He gritted his teeth. “Yes. You did. I saw you.”
Neela sobered up, suddenly it wasn’t funny anymore. “No. I didn’t.” She said forcefully. “You must have seen it wrong. I wouldn’t kiss some bloke with a girlfriend. Especially not Ray. I wouldn’t ever, not in a million years.”
“You would if you were drunk off your ass.” Kyle pointed out.
Neela winced. “I was, wasn’t I? Did I really…” She trailed off. Kyle nodded. Neela made a strangled noise. “Oh shit.” She sank down onto the porch and buried her head in the hands. “Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Holy fucking shit. What am I supposed to do?” She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, she was completely thrown. “What the fuck am I supposed to do about this?”
Kyle was becoming more and more uncomfortable. He wasn’t the type to deal with any sort of display of emotion, not from himself and most definitely not from other people. “I don’t kn-” Neela let out another strangled cry. Kyle cringed and backpedalled. “Please, don’t cry. I don’t do crying, okay? So just…don’t.” Neela took a deep breath, and blew it back out in short puffs. She was trying to keep herself from hyperventilating.
“What do you want me to do about this?” She asked again, calmer now. “I talked to him before, he didn’t tell me about this. So what do you want me to do?”
“When Ray tries to ignore something,” Kyle explained, “he ends up doing something really stupid instead. Anything to make himself forget. You haven’t seen him at it, Neela. When his dad left, when he was twelve, he spent three months pretending nothing was wrong, like his dad was just on a business trip or something.” He smirked wryly. “And then he tried to burn down the garage.”
Neela’s eyes went wide. “Fuck.”
“Yeah. So don’t let him fuck up. He’s 18 now; he can’t go around burning shit down.”
Neela stood up. “I won’t. I’m a hard ass, haven’t you heard?”
Kyle smiled slightly. “I’ve heard. You’re starting to talk like us now, though. You’re swearing like a fucking sailor.”
Neela frowned. “Am I?” Kyle nodded. “I’ll try to restrain myself. I don’t want to become too much like you two losers.” She grinned. “I’ve never heard you talk this much. You know, like, in a row.”
Kyle shrugged and said: “Just never had much to say.”
“You’re surprisingly eloquent, if you look passed the swearing.”
“I’ve been going to a pretty fucking good school for a while now, if I can believe the flyers. I occasionally pick up stuff, learn a word or two. I’ve got fucking impeccable grammar. Prize winning essays lying around and all that.” Kyle sounded completely serious.
“You so do not.” Neela said.
He sniggered and said, as he turned to leave: “No, I don’t.”
Neela watched him leave with a heavy heart. Tomorrow, she was going to have to deal with this.
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Neela was nervous when she showed up at his house the following morning. It was early, and she knew he wouldn’t be up yet. She was hoping to catch him off guard, to startle him into having an actual conversation. His mother answered the door and let her upstairs without any fuss. She knocked on his door and when there was no answer simply let herself in. She picked up a dirty t-shirt from the floor and flung it at his head. He woke with a start.
“What the -” He blinked a few times when he saw Neela standing over him. “Neela?” He got out of the bed and shook his head a few more times, trying to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. “What’s going on?”
Neela swallowed nervously. “I think we need to have a talk.”
Ray blanched. He knew, in that moment, what this was about. He’d just gotten used to the thought that he could just carry it with him and let everything go on as normal. No such luck. “About what?” He asked, playing dumb.
“I know what happened at Jean’s party. I know we…kissed.” She had trouble even saying it.
Ray pursed his lips. “That’s...I…um…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” He stammered.
Neela started pacing. “I suppose I understand but…I just…I’m just confused. This whole thing is just…really confusing.”
Ray sat on the bed and ran his hands through his hair. “There were these guys,” he explained, “and you were drunk. I saved you, sort of. And then you kissed me. Like a thank you kiss.”
She frowned and shook her head. “You wouldn’t have kept this from me if it was just a thank you kiss.”
“And maybe then you kissed me again and I kind of…let myself go. I shouldn’t have.” He admitted.
“This is so bad. You know that right? It’s wrong.” She said. “I thought about this all night. About how maybe we could just ignore it, but we can’t! This is big. It’s big and it’s wrong and it should never have happened. You’ve got a girlfriend and I admit I hate her. But you like her and I’ve got to live with that. I’m not the type of girl who goes around kissing other people’s boyfriends. I don’t get drunk. Ever. It’s all just so wrong.” Neela was on a roll now. “I keep saying to myself that we can’t do something like this. We as people, as friends should never have done something like this. We shouldn’t even be having this conversation.” She looked panicked, completely freaked at the whole situation.
Ray nearly growled in frustration. “No shit, Neela. That’s why we’re going to stop talking about it. It should never have happened in the first place. Let’s just pretend it never happened, okay? It never happened.”
Neel a looked at him like he was crazy. “Except it did.”
“You were drunk. It doesn’t count. It would have never happened if you hadn’t been drunk. You would have never thrown yourself at me if you hadn’t been drunk. I would have never kissed you back if you hadn’t thrown yourself at me. Therefore, it doesn’t count.” He reasoned. “None of it actually happened.”
Neela felt insulted. “So what you’re saying is you’d only ever even consider kissing me if I physically attack you? I’m just that unattractive?” She added bitterly: “And here I thought you’d go after anything with breasts.”
Ray shot up and pointed at her angrily. “Now you’re just looking for something to bitch about. Stop fucking twisting my words around.” He looked at her desperately. “What do you want me to tell you, Neela?” He asked her. “That I think you’re hot? That I would have tried something with you ages ago if I didn’t fear your father’s wrath? ‘Cause you’re gorgeous, Neel. Anyone with eyes can see that. And, yeah, at first it was why I started hanging out with you. But you know what? I got over it!” His whole stance changed. He got into her personal space more and more. He just wanted her to realize how he saw her. What she was to him. “I realized that you’re smart and funny and really neurotic and just a little bit crazy and I like you for that. You’re my friend. My best friend. I’m not going to let us screw that up because you had one out of character moment and I got caught up in it. I’m just not. Fuck it.” He realized how close he was to her now and took a step back. “Jesus.” He added for good measure.
“I never…I never knew that’s how you thought about us.” Neela didn’t know what to say and instead focused on something she could comment on. “You really think I’m gorgeous?”
Ray couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m pouring out my heart to you like some big baby and that’s what you hear?” He shook his head. “You’re such a girl.”
Neela rolled her eyes. “Obviously.” She smiled. “You know, Regina calls us co-dependent. She reckons we’re being unhealthy.”
Ray raised an eyebrow. “Is Regina really someone you want to be taking advice from? She kind of a ditz. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re the smartest person she hangs out with. I mean, obviously she’s got at least a little good taste, but still…”
“Reggie’s smarter than you think. Besides, I’m the smartest person you hang out with.” She pointed out.
“That is true.”
“Maybe I need to start hanging out with smarter people?”
“Please don’t.” Ray said honestly. “I like you just where you are.”
Neela took a deep breath. “So do I.”
They looked at each other in comfortable silence for a while. Ray took the moment as an opportunity to be vulnerable for a second. He hugged her tightly, gave her kiss on the forehead and tugged her hair. “Good.” He said and grinned. “Now shoo. I’m going back to sleep.”
Neela looked up at him fondly. “You have the worst sleeping habits ever.”
“And yet I’m always so well rested.” Ray said mockingly. He dropped himself on the bed and pulled the covers over his head. “I’m sleeping now.”
Neela rolled her eyes again and decided to leave. At the door she looked back one more time. For now, it seemed, he was okay, they were okay. That was enough for her.
to be continued
Moments later
Ray didn’t know what to do with himself at all, suddenly. Neela’s brown eyes, unfocused and staring up at him, weren’t helping. He averted his gaze and moved his hands around aimlessly, looking for a place to rest them, but finding none. They stood there for what seemed like hours, Ray with his mouth open, wanting desperately to say something to lighten the situation.
“Neela,” he said, finally, “I-”
He was cut off by Neela pressing her lips against his own again, letting her hands snake into his hair, pulling him towards her. It didn’t take long for him to get caught up in her kiss and pull her closer to him.
Something at the back of his mind told him this was wrong; he had a girlfriend and this was Neela he was kissing. But the feel of her lips was much more prominent in his mind. He marveled at how small she was in his arms, he’d never noticed before. He pressed himself against her, his fingers toying with the back of her shirt.
It was so easy to get lost in this.
A loud crash coming from the house woke him from his stupor with a start. He pulled away like even touching her was burning him.
“Dammit.” He muttered, just ass Neela’s knees buckled and she slumped against him. He caught her just in time and hoisted her up. “C’mon,” he grunted, “I’ll take you home.”
He felt Neela stiffen in his arms and then struggle to get loose. “No! Not home!” She protested, her accent getting thicker by the syllable. “My dad!”
Ray grimaced. “Right. Then I’ll…I’ll take you to Regina’s.”
Neela looked at him, her face scrunched up in confusion. “You live next to Reshjie!” She couldn’t properly hold the ‘g’ sound anymore and, even in her own drunken state, noticed this and laughed to herself.
“You can’t stay with me.” He told her sternly.
“Why?” She asked like a petulant child.
“Because I’m taking you to Regina’s. That’s why.” That obviously wasn’t a reason that would win a debate with her on any other day, but he hoped that she if she was drunk enough to kiss him, she would be drunk enough to let it go.
Neela’s eyes went wide, still utterly confused by his reasoning, but stuck on another point. “But Reshjie hates you!” She exclaimed.
He smiled, happy for the change of subject, and started ushering her into his car. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”
“She really hates you.” Neela urged.
“She loves you, though.” Ray noted.
Neela started giggling. “You love me too!” She sing-songed. An idea came to her. “You should love each other!”
He sighed and started his car with a rough turn of the key. “Yeah.” He wasn’t going to think about which of her comments he was answering.
Neela was asleep by the time Ray pulled into his driveway and he carried her next door.
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When Neela awoke her head was pounding. She groaned as she went to lay on her other side. She noticed that the bed was too soft and the pillows too pink. She turned again and landed face-first in a large Hello Kitty plushie. Right, Neela thought groggily, so Reggie’s room, then. Neela pushed herself up and promptly slid back down again, clutching her head.
Just then Regina entered the room. “Hey there, party girl.” She greeted. “How’re you feeling?”
Neela only groaned in response.
Regina mockingly pouted. “Aww, baby’s first hangover. Such a proud moment. Here, medicine.” She handed Neela a glass of water and two aspirin. Neela moaned as she sat up again and downed the aspirin in one thirsty gulp. Regina watched, extremely amused. “You’ll feel better soon.”
Neela scoffed. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. And a train. At the same time.” She croaked out. “I don’t think I’ll ever feel ‘better’.” She started sliding back down again when something came to her and she shot back up again. “My dad! Oh shit, he’s probably got the bloody police out looking for me as we speak.” She grabbed one of the many pillows on Regina’s bed and hid her face behind it.
Regina didn’t miss the chance to give the reaction to the drama Neela usually gave her; she rolled her eyes with fervor. “I already called your house and said we were having a last minute sleepover. Your mom picked up, she understands, it’s fine. We’ve done it before. I mean, she was kind of pissed I called after midnight, but I’ve dealt with worse.”
Neela let out a sigh of relief. “And how did I get here exactly? I don’t really remember much of anything.”
Regina frowned with distaste. “The jerk-next-door carried you over. You were completely dead to the world.” She explained. “He wouldn’t tell me what happened though.”
Neela finally managed to get herself out of bed. She stood perfectly still for a moment, trying to let the vertigo pass, then she shook herself and let out a deep breath. “You know, I don’t know what happened either. I hope I didn’t throw up on anyone.” She set out to find her missing shoes, she only found one.
“You smelled clean enough when he brought you. Don’t worry.” Regina threw Neela the other shoe. “How much did you drink anyway?”
“A lot?” Neela guessed sheepishly as she put on her shoes. “I’m going over to Ray’s. What time is it?”
Regina checked her watch. “It’s just past noon. So he should be home…sleeping?”
The girls laughed. Ray’s ability to sleep the day away was a thing of legends. “Yeah,” Neela said, “that sounds about right.” She headed for the door.
“Kick him for me or something!” Regina called after her.
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It took Neela ringing the doorbell seven times for Ray to come down and open the door. He looked sleepy and incredibly irritated at being woken up, though the look on his face switched over to ‘deer in the headlights’ mighty fast when he realized who was at the door.
“Oh. Hi.” He said uncertainly. It was obvious, to him at least, that Neela was there to confront him. He urged himself to keep his cool. “What’s up?”
Neela had been feeling okay up until that point, disregarding the headache. Surely, she had reasoned, nothing had actually happened. Now she wasn’t so sure. Her face fell. “What did I do?” She asked morosely.
Ray was taken aback. Was she messing with him on purpose? Was she trying to drive him crazy? He decided to play along and test the waters first: “What do you mean?”
Neela huffed. “I mean that I can’t remember a bloody thing.” Ray let go of the breath he hadn’t even noticed he was holding. Neela noticed it. “What are you relieved for? Please tell me I didn’t do anything stupid.”
Ray hesitated, for the first time in his life unable to think up a lie on the spot. Neela groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Of course I did something stupid. I got bloody pissed, that was stupid enough. Did I embarrass you horribly?”
“You didn’t embarrass anybody.” Neela looked at him skeptically. “I promise. You just drank way more than you’ve ever done before and got really, really, really drunk.”
“On account of me never having been drunk before in the first place.” Neela pointed out. She smiled, relieved. “I suppose the first time’s the worst. So I didn’t do anything stupid like dance on a table or snog a bunch of random boys?”
Ray bit his tongue. “Nope, I made sure you didn’t make an ass of yourself and then I took you home…well, to Regina’s.”
Neela gave him a tight hug. Ray couldn’t stop himself from remembering the night before. He tried to relax. She let go of him and gave him a peck on the cheek. Ray bit the inside of his cheek as hard as he could. “Of course you took care of me.” Neela told him proudly. “My own personal hero.”
Ray winced at the irony. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
“You’d rather I nag?” She asked him and smirked. “Good. Now I can tell you I still blame you for this.”
Ray pursed his lips. He knew she was going to go there. “It is not my fault.”
“Excuse me, but aren’t you the one who made me go to this party? Isn’t it your girlfriend who gave the four beers I can remember drinking and the ones that doubtlessly came after that? It’s totally your fault.”
He threw up his hands in defeat. “Alright. Fine. My fault, whatever. Do you need a ride home?”
Neela was surprised at his quick defeat, but also at herself for not even thinking about how to get home. “Yes, please.” She said gratefully.
“’Kay, let me go shower first.” He let her in. Neither had realized she’d been left standing on the porch the whole time. She sat on the sofa, happy to know she hadn’t pulled a stupid drunken stunt. He stepped into the shower and turned the hot water all the way off, trying to freeze away his guilty conscience and the memories of the night before.
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It was late and Neela’s parents had long since gone to bed. Neela herself was getting ready for bed as well. She had been pulling on a pair of shorts when the doorbell rang. Cursing at her half dressed state she quickly threw on a t-shirt and raced down the stairs, hoping the bell hadn’t woken any of the other inhabitants of the house. The Rasgotra’s tended to be light sleepers. She looked through the window in the door and saw, to her surprise, Kyle standing there. She unlocked the door as quietly as she could.
“Kyle?” She said in a hushed tone. “What are you doing here? It’s almost midnight.”
Kyle looked serious, but then, he almost always did. “I need to talk to you.” He said.
“What, now?” She asked in disbelief. Kyle just looked at her. “Ok, um…want to come in then?”
Kyle shook his head. “Let’s just do it out here.”
Neela stepped outside uncertainly and closed the door halfway behind her. “So…what’d you want to talk about?”
“Ray.” Kyle said simply.
Neela wasn’t following. “What about Ray?”
“You know what it’s about.” He said it like it was obvious. She opened her mouth to say something, but he beat her to the punch. “Look, I like you and all. You’re a friend. You’re my best friend’s best friend, but I’ve known Ray since I was five. No matter what happens, I’m on his side. I won’t let this shit happen and pretend it’s not the most stupid thing he’s ever done.” He paused. “And he’s done a lot of stupid shit. But I’m on his side, no matter how it plays out. Understand?”
Neela did not understand, not at all. “What are you talking about? What happened? What is he supposed to have done? What’s it got to do with me? Is it about last night? He told me I didn’t do anything stupid.” She mentally kicked herself for just believing him so blindly. She should have known something was off.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.” He said irritably. “I’m not in the mood for stupid games.”
“Don’t be an ass, Kyle. I may be small but I don’t have any problems with defending myself. Even against you.” They sneered at each other. Neela was beginning to think she liked Kyle better when he was just silently angry all the time. Things stayed quiet for a while.
“You seriously don’t know what I’m talking about?” Kyle asked, finally, trying to reign in his temper.
“No,” Neela said, “I don’t. Tell me what I’m supposed to have done.”
Kyle was blunt when he told her, as he was in everything he did. “You kissed him.”
Neela laughed hysterically at the absurdity of the idea. “No I didn’t.” She said, barely managing to get the words out. “Don’t be daft.”
He gritted his teeth. “Yes. You did. I saw you.”
Neela sobered up, suddenly it wasn’t funny anymore. “No. I didn’t.” She said forcefully. “You must have seen it wrong. I wouldn’t kiss some bloke with a girlfriend. Especially not Ray. I wouldn’t ever, not in a million years.”
“You would if you were drunk off your ass.” Kyle pointed out.
Neela winced. “I was, wasn’t I? Did I really…” She trailed off. Kyle nodded. Neela made a strangled noise. “Oh shit.” She sank down onto the porch and buried her head in the hands. “Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Holy fucking shit. What am I supposed to do?” She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, she was completely thrown. “What the fuck am I supposed to do about this?”
Kyle was becoming more and more uncomfortable. He wasn’t the type to deal with any sort of display of emotion, not from himself and most definitely not from other people. “I don’t kn-” Neela let out another strangled cry. Kyle cringed and backpedalled. “Please, don’t cry. I don’t do crying, okay? So just…don’t.” Neela took a deep breath, and blew it back out in short puffs. She was trying to keep herself from hyperventilating.
“What do you want me to do about this?” She asked again, calmer now. “I talked to him before, he didn’t tell me about this. So what do you want me to do?”
“When Ray tries to ignore something,” Kyle explained, “he ends up doing something really stupid instead. Anything to make himself forget. You haven’t seen him at it, Neela. When his dad left, when he was twelve, he spent three months pretending nothing was wrong, like his dad was just on a business trip or something.” He smirked wryly. “And then he tried to burn down the garage.”
Neela’s eyes went wide. “Fuck.”
“Yeah. So don’t let him fuck up. He’s 18 now; he can’t go around burning shit down.”
Neela stood up. “I won’t. I’m a hard ass, haven’t you heard?”
Kyle smiled slightly. “I’ve heard. You’re starting to talk like us now, though. You’re swearing like a fucking sailor.”
Neela frowned. “Am I?” Kyle nodded. “I’ll try to restrain myself. I don’t want to become too much like you two losers.” She grinned. “I’ve never heard you talk this much. You know, like, in a row.”
Kyle shrugged and said: “Just never had much to say.”
“You’re surprisingly eloquent, if you look passed the swearing.”
“I’ve been going to a pretty fucking good school for a while now, if I can believe the flyers. I occasionally pick up stuff, learn a word or two. I’ve got fucking impeccable grammar. Prize winning essays lying around and all that.” Kyle sounded completely serious.
“You so do not.” Neela said.
He sniggered and said, as he turned to leave: “No, I don’t.”
Neela watched him leave with a heavy heart. Tomorrow, she was going to have to deal with this.
<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>
Neela was nervous when she showed up at his house the following morning. It was early, and she knew he wouldn’t be up yet. She was hoping to catch him off guard, to startle him into having an actual conversation. His mother answered the door and let her upstairs without any fuss. She knocked on his door and when there was no answer simply let herself in. She picked up a dirty t-shirt from the floor and flung it at his head. He woke with a start.
“What the -” He blinked a few times when he saw Neela standing over him. “Neela?” He got out of the bed and shook his head a few more times, trying to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. “What’s going on?”
Neela swallowed nervously. “I think we need to have a talk.”
Ray blanched. He knew, in that moment, what this was about. He’d just gotten used to the thought that he could just carry it with him and let everything go on as normal. No such luck. “About what?” He asked, playing dumb.
“I know what happened at Jean’s party. I know we…kissed.” She had trouble even saying it.
Ray pursed his lips. “That’s...I…um…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” He stammered.
Neela started pacing. “I suppose I understand but…I just…I’m just confused. This whole thing is just…really confusing.”
Ray sat on the bed and ran his hands through his hair. “There were these guys,” he explained, “and you were drunk. I saved you, sort of. And then you kissed me. Like a thank you kiss.”
She frowned and shook her head. “You wouldn’t have kept this from me if it was just a thank you kiss.”
“And maybe then you kissed me again and I kind of…let myself go. I shouldn’t have.” He admitted.
“This is so bad. You know that right? It’s wrong.” She said. “I thought about this all night. About how maybe we could just ignore it, but we can’t! This is big. It’s big and it’s wrong and it should never have happened. You’ve got a girlfriend and I admit I hate her. But you like her and I’ve got to live with that. I’m not the type of girl who goes around kissing other people’s boyfriends. I don’t get drunk. Ever. It’s all just so wrong.” Neela was on a roll now. “I keep saying to myself that we can’t do something like this. We as people, as friends should never have done something like this. We shouldn’t even be having this conversation.” She looked panicked, completely freaked at the whole situation.
Ray nearly growled in frustration. “No shit, Neela. That’s why we’re going to stop talking about it. It should never have happened in the first place. Let’s just pretend it never happened, okay? It never happened.”
Neel a looked at him like he was crazy. “Except it did.”
“You were drunk. It doesn’t count. It would have never happened if you hadn’t been drunk. You would have never thrown yourself at me if you hadn’t been drunk. I would have never kissed you back if you hadn’t thrown yourself at me. Therefore, it doesn’t count.” He reasoned. “None of it actually happened.”
Neela felt insulted. “So what you’re saying is you’d only ever even consider kissing me if I physically attack you? I’m just that unattractive?” She added bitterly: “And here I thought you’d go after anything with breasts.”
Ray shot up and pointed at her angrily. “Now you’re just looking for something to bitch about. Stop fucking twisting my words around.” He looked at her desperately. “What do you want me to tell you, Neela?” He asked her. “That I think you’re hot? That I would have tried something with you ages ago if I didn’t fear your father’s wrath? ‘Cause you’re gorgeous, Neel. Anyone with eyes can see that. And, yeah, at first it was why I started hanging out with you. But you know what? I got over it!” His whole stance changed. He got into her personal space more and more. He just wanted her to realize how he saw her. What she was to him. “I realized that you’re smart and funny and really neurotic and just a little bit crazy and I like you for that. You’re my friend. My best friend. I’m not going to let us screw that up because you had one out of character moment and I got caught up in it. I’m just not. Fuck it.” He realized how close he was to her now and took a step back. “Jesus.” He added for good measure.
“I never…I never knew that’s how you thought about us.” Neela didn’t know what to say and instead focused on something she could comment on. “You really think I’m gorgeous?”
Ray couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m pouring out my heart to you like some big baby and that’s what you hear?” He shook his head. “You’re such a girl.”
Neela rolled her eyes. “Obviously.” She smiled. “You know, Regina calls us co-dependent. She reckons we’re being unhealthy.”
Ray raised an eyebrow. “Is Regina really someone you want to be taking advice from? She kind of a ditz. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re the smartest person she hangs out with. I mean, obviously she’s got at least a little good taste, but still…”
“Reggie’s smarter than you think. Besides, I’m the smartest person you hang out with.” She pointed out.
“That is true.”
“Maybe I need to start hanging out with smarter people?”
“Please don’t.” Ray said honestly. “I like you just where you are.”
Neela took a deep breath. “So do I.”
They looked at each other in comfortable silence for a while. Ray took the moment as an opportunity to be vulnerable for a second. He hugged her tightly, gave her kiss on the forehead and tugged her hair. “Good.” He said and grinned. “Now shoo. I’m going back to sleep.”
Neela looked up at him fondly. “You have the worst sleeping habits ever.”
“And yet I’m always so well rested.” Ray said mockingly. He dropped himself on the bed and pulled the covers over his head. “I’m sleeping now.”
Neela rolled her eyes again and decided to leave. At the door she looked back one more time. For now, it seemed, he was okay, they were okay. That was enough for her.
to be continued