loneliness
As I was waking up this morning, I remember crying in my dreams. This is the second time it's happened since my dad died. It's a most unusual sensation - just like crying but with no tears.
I am beginning to understand how people get involved in relationships as a result of bereavement. When someone that important is taken out of your life, such as a parent, you begin to feel incredibly lonely, and then you start to look to someone else to make you feel some life around you. I wouldn't mind terribly much to do it myself right now, but my ordinarily high standards in the opposite sex don't just disappear or lower themselves due to a loss, which is a good thing, I guess. Besides, I think I have one good prospect right now who seems to like me well. I just wish she were available at this moment.
I am really, finally going to be moving away from this house and this town. I sincerely wish I could be moving to Bloomington, but I won't do it alone and if my sister won't apply for a job there, then there is no point. We could all live in separate houses, but in the same town. So... it looks like it will end up being Louisville... dreaded Louisville. I don't really like Louisville, especially the people but it at least has a few things I don't have here. There's the Unitarian Church in Clifton, the York Rite that actually does all of the degrees in full, the Irish Rover, several good sushi bars, Wild Oats, and well... maybe one good friend. I'm not really sure about her at this point.
I have a number of ideas to take my money and increase it, but at this moment I think the best one I have is to build alternative house styles (strawbale, underground, etc.) and sell them at a higher price. It would be ideal to do especially if I could find a contractor because even though you pay more for a contractor it is still dirt cheap ($20-$24 per square foot) and if something goes wrong they're liable, not you. I have thought of buying some foreclosed homes and becoming a landlord, but then I'd have to clean up other people's messes which I don't wanna do. The profits also aren't exactly guaranteed either. I, at the very least, would like to live in a strawbale house myself; so if I build one and I can't sell it, that's probably fine as I'd be living in it myself. What would be really ideal is if I could get a house to live in that has two lots, so that I would have some space to either have a contractor build a second house using bales, or just experiment on my own while I'm living next door. I don't want to live in the outer suburbs, and considering the scarcity of land in the city, this is probably my best bet. There are probably more properties that have two lots, on corners, etc. like my own home than there are pieces of land that you can buy straight out. The only accessible area I know that still has a few pieces of land that are for sale, are all between River Road and Brownsboro Rd. or right on the river itself. What I'd really like to do, is buy a bunch of ugly 1920's-1930's bungalow type houses in Clifton, which I find disgusting, raze them to the ground and build nice new strawbales... lol. Not that this is economically possible mind you. Clifton is the ideal location, but except for that area closer to the river, it's all built up and the houses are mostly from a period with fairly hideous styles.
The only styles I really like are the Cape Cods and Colonials from the postwar era (not the earlier ones), and the Victorians and some other pre-1920 homes, but not all. The trouble with a house that old is that it could have bad electrical wiring, lead pipes, lead paint, a much higher incidence of a broken or leaky foundation, etc. I might would take a risk on a postwar era home, because I know the building standards from that era are among the highest, and the styles are nice as well.
I am beginning to understand how people get involved in relationships as a result of bereavement. When someone that important is taken out of your life, such as a parent, you begin to feel incredibly lonely, and then you start to look to someone else to make you feel some life around you. I wouldn't mind terribly much to do it myself right now, but my ordinarily high standards in the opposite sex don't just disappear or lower themselves due to a loss, which is a good thing, I guess. Besides, I think I have one good prospect right now who seems to like me well. I just wish she were available at this moment.
I am really, finally going to be moving away from this house and this town. I sincerely wish I could be moving to Bloomington, but I won't do it alone and if my sister won't apply for a job there, then there is no point. We could all live in separate houses, but in the same town. So... it looks like it will end up being Louisville... dreaded Louisville. I don't really like Louisville, especially the people but it at least has a few things I don't have here. There's the Unitarian Church in Clifton, the York Rite that actually does all of the degrees in full, the Irish Rover, several good sushi bars, Wild Oats, and well... maybe one good friend. I'm not really sure about her at this point.
I have a number of ideas to take my money and increase it, but at this moment I think the best one I have is to build alternative house styles (strawbale, underground, etc.) and sell them at a higher price. It would be ideal to do especially if I could find a contractor because even though you pay more for a contractor it is still dirt cheap ($20-$24 per square foot) and if something goes wrong they're liable, not you. I have thought of buying some foreclosed homes and becoming a landlord, but then I'd have to clean up other people's messes which I don't wanna do. The profits also aren't exactly guaranteed either. I, at the very least, would like to live in a strawbale house myself; so if I build one and I can't sell it, that's probably fine as I'd be living in it myself. What would be really ideal is if I could get a house to live in that has two lots, so that I would have some space to either have a contractor build a second house using bales, or just experiment on my own while I'm living next door. I don't want to live in the outer suburbs, and considering the scarcity of land in the city, this is probably my best bet. There are probably more properties that have two lots, on corners, etc. like my own home than there are pieces of land that you can buy straight out. The only accessible area I know that still has a few pieces of land that are for sale, are all between River Road and Brownsboro Rd. or right on the river itself. What I'd really like to do, is buy a bunch of ugly 1920's-1930's bungalow type houses in Clifton, which I find disgusting, raze them to the ground and build nice new strawbales... lol. Not that this is economically possible mind you. Clifton is the ideal location, but except for that area closer to the river, it's all built up and the houses are mostly from a period with fairly hideous styles.
The only styles I really like are the Cape Cods and Colonials from the postwar era (not the earlier ones), and the Victorians and some other pre-1920 homes, but not all. The trouble with a house that old is that it could have bad electrical wiring, lead pipes, lead paint, a much higher incidence of a broken or leaky foundation, etc. I might would take a risk on a postwar era home, because I know the building standards from that era are among the highest, and the styles are nice as well.