Penpals and Update
I just got Jaynne's letter...
but it mentioned that her Internet access is limited to non-existant so I guess she wouldn't know until I reply. Because of how I'm working, I won't be able to reply until next week (why don't post offices open later? Well, perhaps FedEx opens later but I don't think they do small letters, and they don't have a close-to-me office, anyhow... what I need is an all-night post office or something).
KimmyKaos: I'm finished the actual third journal for you, but I wanted to package in some other stuff and since I won't be able to mail it until at the very earliestnext week, anyhow, I don't consider it finished...
Well, I didn't go to Line Dancing Monday, not Today, because I'm trying to recharge my energy and although exercise helps, actually getting to where the classes are held, only to find out that they're cancelled, was rather disappointing last week Wed. and I haven't felt much enthusiasm for it since then... but moreso, my day job and the frustrations of everything are just too much, coupled with not doing any daily practice (say, Chi Kung) recently.
On the other hand, I did go to Chi Kung class last night, and I've been doing a bit of the stretching exercises... not nearly enough, mind you... but it is am improvment from, say, last week. The difference is that last week, I was more "in love with life". This week, well, today in fact, one of my peers was saying as I was leaving work, "you look [so] dead!", and I really felt it... stiff, an as if each step was a struggle to continue perpetuating a zombie-ish (zombish?) existance.
Well, it is not really as bad as I make it sound (it's worse ;)--- no, really, it's better), because the fact that I'm here typing is not only testament to the minor victory I gained in setting up this box and desk thingy here, but also, to the fact that I have enough awakeness "left over" to do this after work; I couldn't do anything after work in previous weeks but sleep, basically.... so, I've recovered a bit but I feel there's a large gap between where I am and where I can be with a bit of daily effort, consistently applied.
Although I didn't notice it before, or recently, until just this minute, my thoughts have become generally supportive and progressive, or just quiet, rather than the cesspool of negativity that I was afflicted with in the "quiet period" when I'd stopped posting at all, earlier up in this calendar year.
I still need to manage my time, energy, and tasks a lot better... but the first thing, self-healing, is going rather well and I like the fact that I'm really believing that I am important, and that sacrificing myself isn't just a habit I fall into like an open grave. So, I'm like... 3% reformed into my "True Form"? I dunno where I got that number from, but it seems like I made a big prgress compared to no progress, or 1% progress (2 times more!), but there is still much more to go... as the Prince of Tennis would say, "mada mada dane".
Anyhow, I'm going to practice some stuff, or fall asleep, hopefully a bit of both... so I will probally keep you bored with gruesome details of my progress ;).
but it mentioned that her Internet access is limited to non-existant so I guess she wouldn't know until I reply. Because of how I'm working, I won't be able to reply until next week (why don't post offices open later? Well, perhaps FedEx opens later but I don't think they do small letters, and they don't have a close-to-me office, anyhow... what I need is an all-night post office or something).
KimmyKaos: I'm finished the actual third journal for you, but I wanted to package in some other stuff and since I won't be able to mail it until at the very earliestnext week, anyhow, I don't consider it finished...
Well, I didn't go to Line Dancing Monday, not Today, because I'm trying to recharge my energy and although exercise helps, actually getting to where the classes are held, only to find out that they're cancelled, was rather disappointing last week Wed. and I haven't felt much enthusiasm for it since then... but moreso, my day job and the frustrations of everything are just too much, coupled with not doing any daily practice (say, Chi Kung) recently.
On the other hand, I did go to Chi Kung class last night, and I've been doing a bit of the stretching exercises... not nearly enough, mind you... but it is am improvment from, say, last week. The difference is that last week, I was more "in love with life". This week, well, today in fact, one of my peers was saying as I was leaving work, "you look [so] dead!", and I really felt it... stiff, an as if each step was a struggle to continue perpetuating a zombie-ish (zombish?) existance.
Well, it is not really as bad as I make it sound (it's worse ;)--- no, really, it's better), because the fact that I'm here typing is not only testament to the minor victory I gained in setting up this box and desk thingy here, but also, to the fact that I have enough awakeness "left over" to do this after work; I couldn't do anything after work in previous weeks but sleep, basically.... so, I've recovered a bit but I feel there's a large gap between where I am and where I can be with a bit of daily effort, consistently applied.
Although I didn't notice it before, or recently, until just this minute, my thoughts have become generally supportive and progressive, or just quiet, rather than the cesspool of negativity that I was afflicted with in the "quiet period" when I'd stopped posting at all, earlier up in this calendar year.
I still need to manage my time, energy, and tasks a lot better... but the first thing, self-healing, is going rather well and I like the fact that I'm really believing that I am important, and that sacrificing myself isn't just a habit I fall into like an open grave. So, I'm like... 3% reformed into my "True Form"? I dunno where I got that number from, but it seems like I made a big prgress compared to no progress, or 1% progress (2 times more!), but there is still much more to go... as the Prince of Tennis would say, "mada mada dane".
Anyhow, I'm going to practice some stuff, or fall asleep, hopefully a bit of both... so I will probally keep you bored with gruesome details of my progress ;).