fanfic crap, yuck.
I'm in grave need of decent fanfiction.
I've tried three Viewfinder ones, two Nightrunner, and one (1) Crimson Spell. (Why the heck there is no Crimson Spell fanfiction? It's perfect for writing something kinky!)
First of all, they were all short. One was more of drabble, methinks. I prefer longer texts... nevermind. They were poor. Very poor. No emotions, no atmosphere... like a scenario. For example, a quarrel:
X was furious.
'Blablablah', said Y.
Z laughed and X stared angrily.
'But blablablah!', said X.
'Blablablah, yadda yadda', said Y.
Z stood up, so the others gathered their things and they all rode off somewhere.
'Blahblah', said Z.
See? No 'replied', 'murmured', 'mumbled' or any other verb than 'said'. No facial expressions.
The plot is explained in 100%. Simple sentences. Like a summary *headdesk* I was very near to going to comments page and ask 'Goddammit, were you taking minutes of rpg session?'.
Now, battle scene! The worst of all.
X drew his sword and run to hit Badguy. Badguy wiped him away. X slammed against the column.
'Arghblablah!', shouted Y and struck with his staff.
Badguy ducked and $insert_huge_duel_here (at least five sentences). Y lay unconscious on the ground.
Z attempted to attack but failed. Badguy kicked him and sent to floor.'
Please note: this is not exact quote, I'm using more varied vocabulary (!) and more complex grammar (!!!). In my humble opinion, the original was FCE level.
What I wanted to roar was 'Hell, Z was just standing there staring while Y was getting his arse black and blue?'. I can understand that X got hot-headed and approached Badguy alone, before the others moved, but Y was fighting for at least minute, and there was lots of time for Z to gather his wits... especially if he was described as good warrior in earlier chapters.
Or maybe the author couldn't imagine the characters acting simultaneously? Gods, even computers are capable of multithreading!
I'm disgusted.
I've tried three Viewfinder ones, two Nightrunner, and one (1) Crimson Spell. (Why the heck there is no Crimson Spell fanfiction? It's perfect for writing something kinky!)
First of all, they were all short. One was more of drabble, methinks. I prefer longer texts... nevermind. They were poor. Very poor. No emotions, no atmosphere... like a scenario. For example, a quarrel:
X was furious.
'Blablablah', said Y.
Z laughed and X stared angrily.
'But blablablah!', said X.
'Blablablah, yadda yadda', said Y.
Z stood up, so the others gathered their things and they all rode off somewhere.
'Blahblah', said Z.
See? No 'replied', 'murmured', 'mumbled' or any other verb than 'said'. No facial expressions.
The plot is explained in 100%. Simple sentences. Like a summary *headdesk* I was very near to going to comments page and ask 'Goddammit, were you taking minutes of rpg session?'.
Now, battle scene! The worst of all.
X drew his sword and run to hit Badguy. Badguy wiped him away. X slammed against the column.
'Arghblablah!', shouted Y and struck with his staff.
Badguy ducked and $insert_huge_duel_here (at least five sentences). Y lay unconscious on the ground.
Z attempted to attack but failed. Badguy kicked him and sent to floor.'
Please note: this is not exact quote, I'm using more varied vocabulary (!) and more complex grammar (!!!). In my humble opinion, the original was FCE level.
What I wanted to roar was 'Hell, Z was just standing there staring while Y was getting his arse black and blue?'. I can understand that X got hot-headed and approached Badguy alone, before the others moved, but Y was fighting for at least minute, and there was lots of time for Z to gather his wits... especially if he was described as good warrior in earlier chapters.
Or maybe the author couldn't imagine the characters acting simultaneously? Gods, even computers are capable of multithreading!
I'm disgusted.