(no subject)
I'm sorry that I believed you, when you said I meant so much to you, that I was your 'go-to' person. That I was your best friend, and you hated to see me hurt.
I'm sorry I took all of that seriously, because that apparently has created this problem. Had I not believed you, it wouldn't hurt to see you fall so far away from me. Had I not believed you, it wouldn't hurt to become the extra on-the-side, when-its-convenient friend that I've become in your life. It wouldn't hurt to see you care so little, even as I'm crying right in front of you. It seems to annoy you so when I am hurt by all of this, but the entire reason this hurts is that I know you used to care. Perhaps I never should have cared the way I do. Then there would be no problems, because no feelings would get hurt in the emotionless void.
I care about you, and about our friendship, and thats why this hurts me so much. It genuinely matters to me. All I ever wanted was to be the best friends you said we were. All I ever wanted was for you to care about me the way you used to claim so adimately that you did. For you to care if I'm upset, instead of merely shrugging it off and leaving it at that. To feel like you actually want me around..
But you won't even give me the time of day to talk this out.
Don't you see why this hurts me?
And if you do..why do you continue to act this way?
They say love (in friendship as well) is what you make it - that you get what you give.
I give so much, and I feel like it only pushes you further away.
I needed you, but you turned the other cheek.