(no subject)
i don't know what to do anymore. i feel so alone. i know i have Dani but shes so far away. i try so hard to please her but every once in a while she just makes me feel like shit. it wouldn't be that bad if i could see her more often. i'll get to see her in 6weeks for 2 weeks...MAYBE...then i don't know when i'll see her again. i love her to death and i will gladly wait to be with her but i just wish i had a gf closer to me. i look around at all my friends and they're all in these amazing relationships. i'm happy for them but at the same time i envy them. i would love to be in a relationship like that but everytime it starts to get seroius they break up with me. i see myself as a starter gf. every girl i have dated i've been there first gf. after a few weeks with me, when they get the hang of the gay thing they leave me for someone better. shit, in a few of those i was just used for sex. i tell people it don't bother me but it really fucks me up inside. i just want to be loved...as more than a friend. how many of you can say you love me that way?