Au Naturale
Title: Au Naturale
Theme: Holidays_Visting (1d), usako_mamoru, 2009 anniversary challenge
Prompt: “delightful gluten-free vegan Elysian”
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG13
Notes: This started out as an S/D drabble, but I was eventually able to work in cameos of the peanut gang, thanks to an unconventional prompt from my favorite pretentious hippie crap consumer - the 2nd half of this drabble is for you
“Serena,” Darien whispered, shaking her shoulder a bit. “Serena.”
Serena let out a minor snore before turning and hitting Darien in the face with a heavy arm.
“Serena!” Darien gritted his teeth. Grabbing his cell phone, he put it on the highest volume setting and held it in front of Serena’s face, deciding now was a good time to test some new ringtones.
Serena awoke almost instantly, jerking out of her sleep and nearly slapping Darien’s phone out of his hand.
“Oh, good,” Darien said, “you’re awake.”
“Darien…,” Serena groaned.
“C’mon it’s Greenery Day and-“
“And we have the day off. Off. Which means we get to sleep in.”
Serena turned on her side with a huff.
“But this is important to me,” Darien said softly.
Serena flopped back over instanteously. “Why couldn’t you have an integral connection to chocolate?”
Darien grinned and grabbed her hand, pulling her up off the bed and towards the bathroom.
When she emerged slightly less sleepy, Darien took her hands, and as she yawned, the two began shimmering out of sight, gone in a dusting of glitter.
By the time Serena had finished her rather large yawn, the two were standing by a waterfall. Green hills crept on each other, rolling in the distance, only topped later by tall, wide snow-capped mountains.
Thin clouds dotted the sky ornamentally, doing nothing to hide the bright shining from the sky that, had they been on the surface of Earth, would have normally come from the sun.
Serena glanced around, sighing happily. Elysion always seemed to grant her instant peace upon arrival.
Glad they arrived at one of the smaller waterfalls, Serena edged forward carefully on the green, mossy rocks. Finally, finding a relatively level surface, she plopped herself down, slipping off her sandals to dangle her toes in the water.
She leaned back on her arms and glanced back towards Darien, who was closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, as if breathing for the very first time. He opened them to see Serena smiling at him and developed a grin of his own.
Quickly, he stripped off his shirt and took the few steps necessary to dive neatly into the water. When he resurfaced, he treaded near Serena, holding her feet hostage underwater and palming her calves.
“Thank you for coming,” he said quietly.
Serena leaned down, grazing her fingertips against his cheek. “Where else would we be today?”
They watched each other in comfort for a moment before-
“INCOMING!”
Someone cannonball-ed not far from where they were, managing to splash most of Serena.
“Nolan?”
Zane’s head emerged, strings of blonde plastering to his face. “I think you just called me fat.”
A small pebble missed Zane by inches. Serena and Darien turned to see that the rest of their friends had made it, even Mina, though she was still yawning widely.
Amy and Lita began putting out blankets and towels, among which Mina promptly laid down in the middle. Nolan unloaded one of the many picnic baskets, Jareth and Kaden both readied to dive in and join Darien and Zane in the water, and Raye came over to sit next to Serena.
She looked apologetically at Darien. “We tried to hold them off for as long as we could, but Mina wouldn’t stop going on about sleeping and, well, Nolan was hungry.”
Darien shrugged it off, casting one last contented look at Serena, before pushing off the rock with his foot and floating on his back to where Zane was trying to decide which of his light-haired friends had had a better entry into the water.
As Raye and Serena joined picnic area, Nolan complained. “What’s with all the fresh fruit? Where’s the bacon?”
“No bacon,” Lita said.
“Sausage?” he said hopefully.
Amy laughed lightly. “It’s a national holiday, Nolan. We’re trying to keep a little in theme. Eat some Japanese food.”
Nolan kept peering into the containers, as if a three-course meal had been hidden from him on purpose and would appear if he kept looking. “Fine. Where’s the fish? And omelets - we eat omelets.”
Serena reached for a tangerine and began peeling it. “We’re also in Elysion.”
“So- Oh. Helios.” The name could have come out petulantly or murderously.
“You know how he feels about carnivorous behavior.”
Darien caught the end of the conversation as he approached, dripping wet. “Helios?”
Serena nodded and scooted over for him.
“Eggs aren’t meat,” Nolan muttered into a bowl of miso soup.
“Eggs are chicken abortions,” Mina mumbled from underneath the arm cast upon her eyes. “Mmmm,” she continued. “Chicken fetus.”
“Mina, that’s disgusting,” Raye told the incapacitated blonde.
“And erroneous,” Amy put in.
“Heh. Erroneous,” Mina repeated sleepily.
Nolan went through the fruit and vegetables with much dissatisfaction. He and Jareth decided there was only one course of action left to remedy the paltry meal. They toasted to Greenery Day just as Helios came upon them breathlessly, folding his pearly wings behind him gently.
He greeted everyone in turn before snatching the beer bottles away from two suddenly very disgruntled shitennou.
“Hey!”
“No beer,” Helios decreed adamantly.
“Have you ever had beer?” Nolan asked sarcastically. “If you’ve ever had the glory that is beer, you wouldn’t be denying us-“
“No beer.”
“Who doesn’t like beer?”
“I don’t,” Serena volunteered.
“Me neither,” echoed Raye.
Nolan was hungry, sober, and now, incredulous. “What is wrong with you people? Why am I friends with you?”
“Why not?” Mina asked.
“The maenads are celiacs.”
A confused silence enabled an elaboration. “They can’t have gluten. Beer has gluten. Supposedly.”
“You aren’t even sure?” Nolan despaired.
“They don’t have to drink it,” Jareth pointed out.
“No gluten, no beer,” Helios repeated unmoved. “Besides, it makes you fat.”
“Watch it, Wings,” Nolan warned.
Darien wrapped his arms around Serena, ready to tell Nolan to give it up, when the maenads approached.
As they walked by, one completely ignored them except for the sudden swing in her hips, while the other looked them all in the face, giving most of them a rather clear view.
Everyone waited until they were fairly sure the maenads were out of earshot.
“You didn’t tell us they walked around here naked!”
“How,” Lita emphasized, “does that change anything?”
“Well, for one,” Nolan fumbled to find adequate words. “Okay, I don’t know but-“
“Huh,” Mina murmured, looking at Helios quizzically. “Natural pink. Is that why you’re into Rini?”