*is unable to describe!* :Dyo_helenaNovember 5 2005, 23:37:03 UTC
First of all: Cheese Freeze. The scariest thing about it (besides the fact that it sounds beyond disgusting) is that it also sounds like something someone would really try to market! They can market anything these days, so why not frozen cheese? If I see something like this on the shelves next year, I'm blaming you. :D
And those day-shift techs; he had wanted to add Tabasco sauce to their coffees so badly. Hmmm... I wonder where that came from? *huggles you* I squeed so hard when I saw this! (A cameo from my story! Hurraaaaaaaaaaay! :D) Poor David, who has to compete with everyone... it doth make me cry, but Nicky is totally his. :D *grins* So those day techs better shove off or things are going to get ugly!
I thought it was hilarious that David tried to steer away from the mushiness. And Do you have any idea how many brain cells I’ve killed just by glancing at this horrendous thing for 5 seconds? had me laughing until I couldn't breathe. Awesome, awesome work! Thanks for posting
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Re: *is unable to describe!* :DpsychaterNovember 6 2005, 12:22:23 UTC
Yes well, I'm happy that you're happy about your happy cameos. Wha? Okay, nevermind. I was afraid you'd feel...angry that I mentioned parts of your story but since you took it so well, YAY!
Just a small suggestion, though? When writing dialogue, make sure you've got proper punctuation before you close the quotations. For example: “No idea, he doesn’t let on much about his personal life” should be: “No idea, he doesn’t let on much about his personal life.” Or, when the verb is transitive, like in: "Hey Dave" Nick said. it should be a comma: "Hey Dave," Nick said.
Just a little thing that makes it read easier/look better.
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And those day-shift techs; he had wanted to add Tabasco sauce to their coffees so badly. Hmmm... I wonder where that came from? *huggles you* I squeed so hard when I saw this! (A cameo from my story! Hurraaaaaaaaaaay! :D) Poor David, who has to compete with everyone... it doth make me cry, but Nicky is totally his. :D *grins* So those day techs better shove off or things are going to get ugly!
I thought it was hilarious that David tried to steer away from the mushiness. And Do you have any idea how many brain cells I’ve killed just by glancing at this horrendous thing for 5 seconds? had me laughing until I couldn't breathe. Awesome, awesome work! Thanks for posting ( ... )
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Just a small suggestion, though? When writing dialogue, make sure you've got proper punctuation before you close the quotations. For example: “No idea, he doesn’t let on much about his personal life” should be: “No idea, he doesn’t let on much about his personal life.” Or, when the verb is transitive, like in: "Hey Dave" Nick said. it should be a comma: "Hey Dave," Nick said.
Just a little thing that makes it read easier/look better.
Nice job. ^^
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