Writing for the Remix
I was writing for the Remix at Hawthorn and Vine and I had chosen to mix it up with "Sabrina, Fair" which is just such a great tale. I wrote and I wrote. It felt rusty but good. I was excited. I lined up my beta who was not my usual beta but someone who was so thrilled to be my beta that I was flattered. I was crazy with reality. Reality was kicking my ass like a ninja but when I came home and the dust settled on each day, I was writing. Man, it felt so good!
When the deadline came, I was finished but tweaking and the mods gave me a couple days to tweak and send to my beta. I tweaked that very moment, that very day. I was so excited. Still, there was a reason I should have been worried but I had been wrapped up in the writing vortex for a while and had not been as respectful to the weather gods as I should have been. I see that now.
HURRICANE IRMA!!!
Hurricane Irma pushed my beta and her family out of their home and I once again appealed to the mods of the Remix. They were more than generous with the situation. They couldn't have been better about it and I was hopeful for electricity, water, recovery, and all the things that were going to happen to allow this most dear of friends to beta my story. I even told my beta that I would understand if she wanted to bow out and I would get another beta to finish what she had started. I told her that under these circumstances, no one would hold her to her commitment for this. She was adamant. She would be able to do it. Then there was silence. I tried to contact her several times but there was silence and I felt selfish and weird.
Yesterday was my birthday and also the extended due date. I actually heard nothing. I agonized because I knew that even if she sent the beta'd version to me, I would not now have time to make the corrections and turn it in. *head desk*
I don't want anyone to feel guilty or sad. I am not going to bother her about it anymore. I am going to wait for her. My heart is not in it currently. My state of limbo remains. I sent an email to the mods of the remix apologizing for my suckishness. I explained the situation and did not ask for more time. I know they need to move on and complete this remix. I will post it to AO3 someday or maybe here. In the meantime, since H&V is still down, I am in the process of searching through old flash drives for my stories so I can post them either here, AO3 or both places.
Do you ever have times like these? Is this my season to feel lost, adrift and incapable? I imagine others have gone through something like this and if so, I welcome any wisdom that anyone can share.
I know I could have and should have possibly sent my story to another beta but I really wanted to invest in this woman. She has excellent editing skills and needed the boost. I am an extremely sincere person. I promised her she would beta this story and I have to allow that to happen whenever her reality can let her do it. Unless she releases me from this verbal contract, I feel obligated to stay loyal.
On a different note, there was a criminal act perpetrated at my library. The library where I am employed!! I live in a very small town and we just really don't have lots of criminal activity. Yesterday there was a gentleman, well behaved and well spoken who quietly charged his phone at the public computers when we were first opened. Later, someone said he was asking for money while leaning against his Mercedes in the parking lot. I was not a witness to this because I was in a program called Baby Rhyme Time. (<--- so much fun!) Just before I was scheduled to take my lunch, there were screams heard from the public restrooms and several people ran in that direction, including me. The gentleman who had been charging his phone came rushing out of the ladies restroom, fully charged phone in his hand. He looked wild eyed and looking past him I could see an elderly woman sprawled on the floor of the restroom looking terrified. (Later people would claim he had a weapon but that wasn't true. I was interviewed by the police and I told them he only had his phone in his hand.) He had threatened to kill this woman unless she gave him all her money and she started screaming. Her screams saved her life. He ran and was later caught by the local police after a high speed chase. I believe I heard that he had not been out of prison very long. I would imagine that both this man and the woman he threatened had a much worse day than I did.
What I learned from this situation - Someone is always having a worse day than you - When being attacked, scream really loudly and scream many times. It can save your life - Institutionalization is a real thing. - The power of suggestion is super strong as in the situation when witnesses were asked if the gentleman was carrying a weapon and they all suddenly remembered seeing a non-existent handgun. I know he didn't because I purposely looked for it. (On a side note, I don't believe people should walk around armed with guns. I think gun control might be a good idea. I just don't believe in telling something that is not true. The truth will set us all free but getting us all to agree on what the truth is - that is the tricky part.)
Happy Tuesday!
xoxoKel