Through The Years
Yonghwa's jaw tightened as the screaming continues. The shattered glass, the broken frames, the messy apartment were no longer in his care. He was so pissed at the girl in front of him. A whiner, he always said. He once knew a whiner, a hardcore one, but she wasn't anything like the girl in front of him. He sighed, again the memory played in his mind. The times when he felt so right, everything was perfect, and he was in his happiest state. For millions times in his life, he regretted his decision to break things up. She might be a whiner, but he loved everything she complained about. She perfected him, loved his music, befriended his members, she made him feel complete like he had the world in his palm. But she's gone, vanished from his life because of his stupidity. Again, he drew a heavy breath, closing his eyes as he was trying to erase the scenes that he knew he missed. He knew so damn well that he was broken, but he's too scared to admit it. Instead, he looked for another girl, trying to deny that she was the one. In many times, when the pain came back, when her images were clear, when her scent mysteriously filled his nose, he chose to ignore them and chanting that he was okay.
Of course, that wasn't the truth. He was far from okay. And little he knew, building another relationship with someone else would never, ever, complete him the way she did. And there he was, sighing and kept his silence to suppress his anger. His girlfriend kept shouting words that he couldn't digest, or he just simply didn't care. "Jung Yonghwa!! Are you even listening to me??!" He looked at his girl, eyes piercing right through her with such fury. "Why Yonghwa? Why don't you introduce your mom to me? Why don't you introduce me to your childhood friends?" He could hear her screaming again, hurting his ears. "Why should I?" He asked indifferently. Min raised her eyebrows "Why would you? Because I'm your girlfriend, that's why!!" She was getting very impatient, he knew. "I don't just bring my girlfriend to meet them. I thought you knew already. So let's drop this topic, okay? Let's just go out for dinner or something" Yonghwa stood up from his seat, grabbing his jacket and ready to walk out of the door. "You don't? Yea right! You brought your virtual wife there!! She wasn't even in a real relationship with you Yonghwa! But you took her there after 9 months being in a FAKE marriage. I have been your girlfriend for 2 years. But what have you done? You don't even let me talk to your mom! You didn't let me meet your friends! You don't write songs for me! What is this? What is it that you're hiding?" Min's voice echoed around the apartment.
He froze, not because he was scared of losing her, not because he was afraid of her extreme screams, not because he was annoyed by her, but because he realized something. The truth, everything she said was true. He never, ever, introduced any girls after Seohyun, he just didn't trust them enough. He prevented them going too deep in his life, so why did he let her? Why did he open up for her but not to anyone else he dated after? Why did it take 7 days to write songs about his girlfriend while it took hours to complete one about his Hyun? Why, even after all these years, his biggest inspiration was still her? Still the goddess, the angel, still his fake wife, still Joohyun. He trembled, and Min thought he was giving in to her. But she was wrong, the moment she heard his words, she felt her world torn apart. She should have known it better that Yonghwa was in love with someone else. That he was still unable to forget that person, the love of his life. Seohyun, that exact girl was still there, buried deep in his heart, waiting to resurface. Min broke down into tears, she knew she lost the battle. Yonghwa was no longer hers, he never was. His voice was still ringing in her head, though he already left the building. Running towards the door as Min saw it. But those words still left traces in her heart. "Because you are not her, you are not my Joohyun" that exact words, she knew she would never forget.
--ooo--
Seohyun starred at her food vacuously, holding a fork in her left hand. She stayed still in her place, her mind wandered off to somewhere else, not here, not where it supposed to be. Unknowingly, she sighed, waking up the man across her who was immersed digging in his food. He looked up, only to catch her blank eyes and that moment he knew she left the world once again. Trying hard to be patient for the umpteenth time, he brought his hands to brush hers, gently stroke her delicate fingers, hoping to bring back her soul. The touch snapped her and her eyes finally followed the meeting hands. She gave her boyfriend a genuine smile, apologizing through her warm eyes and slowly freed her hands from his'. The man returned the smile, motioned her to start eating and she did as he told her so. Silence filled the table and she liked it that way. She didn't want to talk about anything or to anyone in particular that night.
She knew, it’s the 4th year already, and that realization hit her like a thunderstorm. It's the 4th year someone had gone from her life. He pushed her away, saying that it's not right for them to be together at that time. She swallowed his words, she knew she couldn't change his mind at that time. He was a rookie, he had big dreams, he had 3 lives in his hands and he was responsible for them. She cried, but she let him go nonetheless. That night she experienced her first heartbreak. Before, she didn't know that loving someone could make you fly so high but also could make you fall so hard that the pain was unbearable. Many times she wondered how she could fall for him. It was supposed to be just work, they were supposed to be just work partner, and they should not crossed the line. Or to be exact, she should not have crossed that line, she should have been wiser as she always did. She realized that love is a scary thing. It could turn your logic upside down, make you weak with little actions, got you swooned only to be broken as hard, could turn the most genius people in the world into the most idiotic love-fool. Not that she was a genius, but at least she knew she was always reasonable, rational, and professional. She should have maintained that with him during their fake marriage. It was FAKE after all, what did she expect? Stupidly falling for Yonghwa, doing everything couples would do, didn't mind about the time left for them. And there she was, her broken heart could no longer be healed. She had cried countless times, thinking that it was the only way to ease her ache, but eventually it just didn't work anymore. Then she moved on to the next plan, by working so hard to charm everybody and showed her growing talent, only to tire herself in the end and she was getting sick of herself. However, Seo Joo Hyun wasn't a girl with little plans, she had lots of them. One last thing that could save her, as her sisters said, was to open her heart for someone else. So she tried, so hard even. First guy, it didn't go well because he cheated on her. But no, she didn't feel betrayed, she was actually fine and careless about it and she knew that she wasn't in pain. She wasn't in love. Second guy, they just practically drifted apart. Third guy was different though, Choi Seunghyun was different.
He's patient, gentle, understanding, caring, loving, and many more things that could describe him as a perfect man. She liked him, more than two other guys before. She enjoyed his presence, he could make her laugh, he had so many things to share, a great teacher for her, and then why did she still feel empty? She still had the missing part and albeit nice, Seunghyun just couldn't complete her puzzle. She sighed, she knew where the missing piece was, she just didn't know HOW exactly to get it. That, and she felt so guilty towards her boyfriend. He didn't deserve this, he deserved her love and unfortunately she just couldn't give it in whole. "Baby, you're thinking too much again aren't you?" Seunghyun stroke her hair affectionately. "I'm sorry, oppa. Let's start eating" she was ready to pick up her spoon but he grabbed her wrist. "Joohyun, don't force yourself anymore. It hurts my heart, it really does" he whispered softly and Seohyun felt she wanted to vomit. He was too nice for her and that fact hurt her even more. "Oppa, what are you talking about?" As if she didn't know, she tried to drop the talk.
"I love you, Joohyun. I really do. And because of that, I can see clearly that you are not. At least, you don't feel the same way as I do. And I see you tried very hard for the past year, and I worked hard to break that wall of yours too. But still, your eyes can't sparkle the way they did when you looked at him. You couldn't bring yourself to be that comfortable around me. You couldn't love me the way you love him. And I can see it, clearly. Though it hurts me to know the fact, it hurts me more to see you force yourself. I love you Joohyun-ah, that's why I want you to be happy even if it's not with me" tears ran down her cheeks, Seunghyun really was so nice to her. She wanted to just slap herself right there for hurting the man like this. "I'm sorry, Oppa. I never meant to wound you. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. I like you, Oppa. Really" she stuttered as her cries were getting louder. For the last time, Seunghyun hugged her, stroking her hairs with such love and care. "No, I'm sorry that I'm not him, Seo Joo Hyun. Now, before I change my mind, you can leave. Promise me to be happy. That much, and I will promise you that I will always be here. That's how much I'm in love with you. So now, run from here Joohyun-ah, before I cannot stop myself from selfishly wanting you to be mine forever. Go now, it's okay. Just...go" he let go of her, pushing her away but still wiping her tears for one last time. Seohyun hesitantly walked to the door, looking back at him while still crying hard. Seunghyun nodded, confirming that it was fine. She smiled at him, mouthed the last "I'm sorry" and closed the door behind. The moment he heard the door clicked, he bent down on his knees. That time, it was his turn to cry.
--ooo--
An award night once again was held towards the end of the year. Seohyun and some of her SNSD unnise attended the event. SNSD was no longer active, they were getting old and they wanted to try new things, pursued another dream though never officially disbanding. Sometimes, they would still release digital single, with one or two performances that required them to dance. And so there they were, some members being nominated for their individual works but SNSD latest song made it to the list too. They waited in the waiting room, getting their makeup done and also greeted back some hoobaes who visited them. Seohyun walked out, getting ready for her rehearsal. Her steps were fast and hasty, and she clumsily bumped into someone. She fell, that person fell, and other people gasped. They looked into each other and held their breaths. Hearts were thumping, cracking, memories playing and they nearly turned crazy. “Hyun” “Yong” the words caught up in their throats. They couldn’t think clearly, they couldn’t breathe, and most importantly, they couldn’t take their eyes off of each other.
Seohyun sighed and slowly got up on her feet. “Nice to meet you again” she said coldly, like they never had anything before. She was trying hard to be like that. To act as if she no longer had feelings for him, like her heart never shattered, like they never shared anything precious, like the term they was never existed. Hearing no response, she scoffed and walked away. “Hyun, wait!” she hated how he said the word carelessly like that. He had no idea what effect that words brought to her. The giddiness came back as well as the twitch in her heart. She hated how he called her the way he used to as if he never walked out on her. As if he never broke her heart or left her miserable in tears. She started to run, her eyes were getting hot and she knew she needed to escape. Somewhere, she needed to be somewhere else that had no scent of him. “Hyun!” he’s still shouting and she kept running. “You cannot run anymore” he said, matter-of-factly as he saw her panting in exhaustion. Also, they were already in a corner, she faced a dead-end. “What do you want?” she asked, her eyes threw daggers and it broke him inside. Such hatred and anger she had in her eyes made him feel weak. He needed to be forgiven, badly.
God knows how hard he had tried to contact her but none of these actions cleared the cloud above them. Asking her sisters was like a suicide for him. Instead of getting her new number, he got scolds and bad words thrown at him. He didn’t blame them, he knew he deserve those words. Just, he needed to see her. To straightened the misunderstanding, to come clean about his reasons, to apologize, and to start over. Slowly, he reached out for her hands and she trembled. His touch, oh how she missed his hands on hers like this. “Don’t touch me” she denied the sensation, dodging his hands away. “I need to talk to you” he said and she kept her silence. Maybe, just maybe, she would finally get her closure. The answers she had been yearning for.
“I was at fault” he started.
“Yeah? Why?”
“I was afraid to take the risk. I was being a chicken and I know that. I was scared that I might ruin CNBLUE by dating you, or let myself fall deeper than I already was. I had my members’ lives in my hands, I could make them go down with me but I wouldn’t and I thought being with you would make things more complicated. I wavered, I wasn’t sure of my feelings for you. I said bad thing that I shouldn’t have. I never meant any of them. I didn’t know how much I love you, or I tried to deny it. I thought everything was just a delusion, what we have was not real. But I’m wrong, I was wrong. What we had is more than just an illusion, it is more real than anything else. I love you, it’s a fact I should have known. But I came too late to realize that. I lived in denial, regrets, and buried anger for the past few years. I never threw our ring, I never put aside our pictures, I still have your laugh on my computer and play it every night, I still keep your coat, I still save our first banmal song and I still love you the way I did. Joohyun-ah, I am sorry. These reasons might be not clear enough but I still cannot gather myself together now. I have been trying hard to get back to you. I asked your sisters, your friends, your managers, your company but none response to me. I was losing hope but here you are. I cannot think clearly now” he confessed truthfully.
For the first time in years, she finally saw his eyes again. Those eyes that indicate no lie, eyes that made her melt and she hated the truth that she still felt weak against it. Those mesmerizing eyes that made her faltered. “So what do you want?” she bit her lips, she too wasn’t able to think straight.
“A new start…we will take another baby steps. I wouldn’t mind to be friend with you again, as a start. Just please, I need you back in my life” he felt so darn selfish upon his request, but he couldn’t help it.
“Friends? You know we cannot be friends, right Jung Yonghwa? It will never work between us to be…friends” she said.
She was right, once again, and he cursed inside. They could never be friends, they loved each other too much to be in that kind of relationship. There were only two ways, to be back as lovers or to be separated and the second option could kill him. “Then we will take this relationship from the start. Know each other again and then we will see how this will go”
“As what? Couple?” she couldn’t believe her own boldness. But the heck she cared, she was too frustrated.
“If you are willing to do so”
She sighed. “You still owe me a lot of explanation. But seeing you like this, those reasons you stated before were enough. But…did you really love me, Oppa?”
He rolled his eyes unknowingly, this silly girl. “That’s what I said to you. That’s what I had been trying to tell you”
“And you still do?” He nodded and smiled. Her eyes were sparkling immediately and heaven knows how much he wanted to scream in happiness. “Alright…Let’s take this from the very beginning then. Where should we start?”
He grinned, taking her hands into his’. He finally was where he belonged, beside her. He felt safe , contended, and was over the moon. He was relieved. “Seo Joo Hyun, go to Busan with me” she raised her eyebrows albeit still smiling. “My friends and my parents miss you. Also, if we want a new start, you have to see me as Jung Yong Hwa the Busan boy all over again. In the place where I grew up and with the people who know me through my whole life”
She laughed. “So, I need to know Jung Yonghwa in Busan? Okay then. But you need to know Seo Joohyun in Jeonju. Or…SM, I spent my childhood there” they laughed. Walking hand-in-hand, their steps were in same rhythm, their happiness flowed out with people starred at them in disbelief. Like this, years after years, they finally found their way back. They were finally home.
Of course, that wasn't the truth. He was far from okay. And little he knew, building another relationship with someone else would never, ever, complete him the way she did. And there he was, sighing and kept his silence to suppress his anger. His girlfriend kept shouting words that he couldn't digest, or he just simply didn't care. "Jung Yonghwa!! Are you even listening to me??!" He looked at his girl, eyes piercing right through her with such fury. "Why Yonghwa? Why don't you introduce your mom to me? Why don't you introduce me to your childhood friends?" He could hear her screaming again, hurting his ears. "Why should I?" He asked indifferently. Min raised her eyebrows "Why would you? Because I'm your girlfriend, that's why!!" She was getting very impatient, he knew. "I don't just bring my girlfriend to meet them. I thought you knew already. So let's drop this topic, okay? Let's just go out for dinner or something" Yonghwa stood up from his seat, grabbing his jacket and ready to walk out of the door. "You don't? Yea right! You brought your virtual wife there!! She wasn't even in a real relationship with you Yonghwa! But you took her there after 9 months being in a FAKE marriage. I have been your girlfriend for 2 years. But what have you done? You don't even let me talk to your mom! You didn't let me meet your friends! You don't write songs for me! What is this? What is it that you're hiding?" Min's voice echoed around the apartment.
He froze, not because he was scared of losing her, not because he was afraid of her extreme screams, not because he was annoyed by her, but because he realized something. The truth, everything she said was true. He never, ever, introduced any girls after Seohyun, he just didn't trust them enough. He prevented them going too deep in his life, so why did he let her? Why did he open up for her but not to anyone else he dated after? Why did it take 7 days to write songs about his girlfriend while it took hours to complete one about his Hyun? Why, even after all these years, his biggest inspiration was still her? Still the goddess, the angel, still his fake wife, still Joohyun. He trembled, and Min thought he was giving in to her. But she was wrong, the moment she heard his words, she felt her world torn apart. She should have known it better that Yonghwa was in love with someone else. That he was still unable to forget that person, the love of his life. Seohyun, that exact girl was still there, buried deep in his heart, waiting to resurface. Min broke down into tears, she knew she lost the battle. Yonghwa was no longer hers, he never was. His voice was still ringing in her head, though he already left the building. Running towards the door as Min saw it. But those words still left traces in her heart. "Because you are not her, you are not my Joohyun" that exact words, she knew she would never forget.
--ooo--
Seohyun starred at her food vacuously, holding a fork in her left hand. She stayed still in her place, her mind wandered off to somewhere else, not here, not where it supposed to be. Unknowingly, she sighed, waking up the man across her who was immersed digging in his food. He looked up, only to catch her blank eyes and that moment he knew she left the world once again. Trying hard to be patient for the umpteenth time, he brought his hands to brush hers, gently stroke her delicate fingers, hoping to bring back her soul. The touch snapped her and her eyes finally followed the meeting hands. She gave her boyfriend a genuine smile, apologizing through her warm eyes and slowly freed her hands from his'. The man returned the smile, motioned her to start eating and she did as he told her so. Silence filled the table and she liked it that way. She didn't want to talk about anything or to anyone in particular that night.
She knew, it’s the 4th year already, and that realization hit her like a thunderstorm. It's the 4th year someone had gone from her life. He pushed her away, saying that it's not right for them to be together at that time. She swallowed his words, she knew she couldn't change his mind at that time. He was a rookie, he had big dreams, he had 3 lives in his hands and he was responsible for them. She cried, but she let him go nonetheless. That night she experienced her first heartbreak. Before, she didn't know that loving someone could make you fly so high but also could make you fall so hard that the pain was unbearable. Many times she wondered how she could fall for him. It was supposed to be just work, they were supposed to be just work partner, and they should not crossed the line. Or to be exact, she should not have crossed that line, she should have been wiser as she always did. She realized that love is a scary thing. It could turn your logic upside down, make you weak with little actions, got you swooned only to be broken as hard, could turn the most genius people in the world into the most idiotic love-fool. Not that she was a genius, but at least she knew she was always reasonable, rational, and professional. She should have maintained that with him during their fake marriage. It was FAKE after all, what did she expect? Stupidly falling for Yonghwa, doing everything couples would do, didn't mind about the time left for them. And there she was, her broken heart could no longer be healed. She had cried countless times, thinking that it was the only way to ease her ache, but eventually it just didn't work anymore. Then she moved on to the next plan, by working so hard to charm everybody and showed her growing talent, only to tire herself in the end and she was getting sick of herself. However, Seo Joo Hyun wasn't a girl with little plans, she had lots of them. One last thing that could save her, as her sisters said, was to open her heart for someone else. So she tried, so hard even. First guy, it didn't go well because he cheated on her. But no, she didn't feel betrayed, she was actually fine and careless about it and she knew that she wasn't in pain. She wasn't in love. Second guy, they just practically drifted apart. Third guy was different though, Choi Seunghyun was different.
He's patient, gentle, understanding, caring, loving, and many more things that could describe him as a perfect man. She liked him, more than two other guys before. She enjoyed his presence, he could make her laugh, he had so many things to share, a great teacher for her, and then why did she still feel empty? She still had the missing part and albeit nice, Seunghyun just couldn't complete her puzzle. She sighed, she knew where the missing piece was, she just didn't know HOW exactly to get it. That, and she felt so guilty towards her boyfriend. He didn't deserve this, he deserved her love and unfortunately she just couldn't give it in whole. "Baby, you're thinking too much again aren't you?" Seunghyun stroke her hair affectionately. "I'm sorry, oppa. Let's start eating" she was ready to pick up her spoon but he grabbed her wrist. "Joohyun, don't force yourself anymore. It hurts my heart, it really does" he whispered softly and Seohyun felt she wanted to vomit. He was too nice for her and that fact hurt her even more. "Oppa, what are you talking about?" As if she didn't know, she tried to drop the talk.
"I love you, Joohyun. I really do. And because of that, I can see clearly that you are not. At least, you don't feel the same way as I do. And I see you tried very hard for the past year, and I worked hard to break that wall of yours too. But still, your eyes can't sparkle the way they did when you looked at him. You couldn't bring yourself to be that comfortable around me. You couldn't love me the way you love him. And I can see it, clearly. Though it hurts me to know the fact, it hurts me more to see you force yourself. I love you Joohyun-ah, that's why I want you to be happy even if it's not with me" tears ran down her cheeks, Seunghyun really was so nice to her. She wanted to just slap herself right there for hurting the man like this. "I'm sorry, Oppa. I never meant to wound you. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. I like you, Oppa. Really" she stuttered as her cries were getting louder. For the last time, Seunghyun hugged her, stroking her hairs with such love and care. "No, I'm sorry that I'm not him, Seo Joo Hyun. Now, before I change my mind, you can leave. Promise me to be happy. That much, and I will promise you that I will always be here. That's how much I'm in love with you. So now, run from here Joohyun-ah, before I cannot stop myself from selfishly wanting you to be mine forever. Go now, it's okay. Just...go" he let go of her, pushing her away but still wiping her tears for one last time. Seohyun hesitantly walked to the door, looking back at him while still crying hard. Seunghyun nodded, confirming that it was fine. She smiled at him, mouthed the last "I'm sorry" and closed the door behind. The moment he heard the door clicked, he bent down on his knees. That time, it was his turn to cry.
--ooo--
An award night once again was held towards the end of the year. Seohyun and some of her SNSD unnise attended the event. SNSD was no longer active, they were getting old and they wanted to try new things, pursued another dream though never officially disbanding. Sometimes, they would still release digital single, with one or two performances that required them to dance. And so there they were, some members being nominated for their individual works but SNSD latest song made it to the list too. They waited in the waiting room, getting their makeup done and also greeted back some hoobaes who visited them. Seohyun walked out, getting ready for her rehearsal. Her steps were fast and hasty, and she clumsily bumped into someone. She fell, that person fell, and other people gasped. They looked into each other and held their breaths. Hearts were thumping, cracking, memories playing and they nearly turned crazy. “Hyun” “Yong” the words caught up in their throats. They couldn’t think clearly, they couldn’t breathe, and most importantly, they couldn’t take their eyes off of each other.
Seohyun sighed and slowly got up on her feet. “Nice to meet you again” she said coldly, like they never had anything before. She was trying hard to be like that. To act as if she no longer had feelings for him, like her heart never shattered, like they never shared anything precious, like the term they was never existed. Hearing no response, she scoffed and walked away. “Hyun, wait!” she hated how he said the word carelessly like that. He had no idea what effect that words brought to her. The giddiness came back as well as the twitch in her heart. She hated how he called her the way he used to as if he never walked out on her. As if he never broke her heart or left her miserable in tears. She started to run, her eyes were getting hot and she knew she needed to escape. Somewhere, she needed to be somewhere else that had no scent of him. “Hyun!” he’s still shouting and she kept running. “You cannot run anymore” he said, matter-of-factly as he saw her panting in exhaustion. Also, they were already in a corner, she faced a dead-end. “What do you want?” she asked, her eyes threw daggers and it broke him inside. Such hatred and anger she had in her eyes made him feel weak. He needed to be forgiven, badly.
God knows how hard he had tried to contact her but none of these actions cleared the cloud above them. Asking her sisters was like a suicide for him. Instead of getting her new number, he got scolds and bad words thrown at him. He didn’t blame them, he knew he deserve those words. Just, he needed to see her. To straightened the misunderstanding, to come clean about his reasons, to apologize, and to start over. Slowly, he reached out for her hands and she trembled. His touch, oh how she missed his hands on hers like this. “Don’t touch me” she denied the sensation, dodging his hands away. “I need to talk to you” he said and she kept her silence. Maybe, just maybe, she would finally get her closure. The answers she had been yearning for.
“I was at fault” he started.
“Yeah? Why?”
“I was afraid to take the risk. I was being a chicken and I know that. I was scared that I might ruin CNBLUE by dating you, or let myself fall deeper than I already was. I had my members’ lives in my hands, I could make them go down with me but I wouldn’t and I thought being with you would make things more complicated. I wavered, I wasn’t sure of my feelings for you. I said bad thing that I shouldn’t have. I never meant any of them. I didn’t know how much I love you, or I tried to deny it. I thought everything was just a delusion, what we have was not real. But I’m wrong, I was wrong. What we had is more than just an illusion, it is more real than anything else. I love you, it’s a fact I should have known. But I came too late to realize that. I lived in denial, regrets, and buried anger for the past few years. I never threw our ring, I never put aside our pictures, I still have your laugh on my computer and play it every night, I still keep your coat, I still save our first banmal song and I still love you the way I did. Joohyun-ah, I am sorry. These reasons might be not clear enough but I still cannot gather myself together now. I have been trying hard to get back to you. I asked your sisters, your friends, your managers, your company but none response to me. I was losing hope but here you are. I cannot think clearly now” he confessed truthfully.
For the first time in years, she finally saw his eyes again. Those eyes that indicate no lie, eyes that made her melt and she hated the truth that she still felt weak against it. Those mesmerizing eyes that made her faltered. “So what do you want?” she bit her lips, she too wasn’t able to think straight.
“A new start…we will take another baby steps. I wouldn’t mind to be friend with you again, as a start. Just please, I need you back in my life” he felt so darn selfish upon his request, but he couldn’t help it.
“Friends? You know we cannot be friends, right Jung Yonghwa? It will never work between us to be…friends” she said.
She was right, once again, and he cursed inside. They could never be friends, they loved each other too much to be in that kind of relationship. There were only two ways, to be back as lovers or to be separated and the second option could kill him. “Then we will take this relationship from the start. Know each other again and then we will see how this will go”
“As what? Couple?” she couldn’t believe her own boldness. But the heck she cared, she was too frustrated.
“If you are willing to do so”
She sighed. “You still owe me a lot of explanation. But seeing you like this, those reasons you stated before were enough. But…did you really love me, Oppa?”
He rolled his eyes unknowingly, this silly girl. “That’s what I said to you. That’s what I had been trying to tell you”
“And you still do?” He nodded and smiled. Her eyes were sparkling immediately and heaven knows how much he wanted to scream in happiness. “Alright…Let’s take this from the very beginning then. Where should we start?”
He grinned, taking her hands into his’. He finally was where he belonged, beside her. He felt safe , contended, and was over the moon. He was relieved. “Seo Joo Hyun, go to Busan with me” she raised her eyebrows albeit still smiling. “My friends and my parents miss you. Also, if we want a new start, you have to see me as Jung Yong Hwa the Busan boy all over again. In the place where I grew up and with the people who know me through my whole life”
She laughed. “So, I need to know Jung Yonghwa in Busan? Okay then. But you need to know Seo Joohyun in Jeonju. Or…SM, I spent my childhood there” they laughed. Walking hand-in-hand, their steps were in same rhythm, their happiness flowed out with people starred at them in disbelief. Like this, years after years, they finally found their way back. They were finally home.