Fanfiction: Gossip Girl
“Blair I …” the man that she had trusted once again try to explain what she had witness. A kiss that he shared with who she believed was his ex-lover. ‘He lied’, was all that Blair could think about. She put her hand in front of her as she stopped laughing and looked at him seriously. Truly look at the two individuals in front of her.
“Please don’t,” she told him in a whisper. This wasn’t Blair Waldorf speaking, this was just Blair. “Don’t make excuses anymore Nate,” she told him. She stared at him, straight at his eyes. She wanted to break down at the moment she saw her lover kissing Vanessa.
She had believed him, believed that it had been over. But she now stood witness that it was a lie. She should have known better. She had grown to the idea of feeling safe in his arm, feeling as before everything had gone wrong, but that moment she understood that nothing will ever be like it was before. The innocence that she once had was lost and it was something that she will never gain again.
“Look, Blair…” Vanessa tried to speak but was cut of by Blair’s words.
“Let me speak, at least you two owe me that much,” this was very unlike Blair. There was no yelling no crying. There was only her fallen face filled with pain. Showing the emotion she felt. Just as a child that found out that dreams never come true.
“I trusted you once again Nate and you betrayed me. I know we have gone through a lot together. But to do this to me again, I guess it’s my fault for trusting you. For wanting that safe life again, but now I know it’s never going to happen, right? You will never love me. You are only in love with the idea. I think I may only be in love with the idea also. After losing everything I had the thought of being with you made me feel secure and that everything will be okay. But know I know it won’t. I have to face reality.” She looked down at the floor as she said those last words. Reality was sinking in. She won’t be going to Yale. People that she loved kept betraying her and leaving her, and the saddest part was that she had learned that she really didn’t have friends anymore. Not truly hers.
“I am sorry Blair.” Was all that Nate responded to her.
“You know Nate. I can’t believe your apologies anymore. When I was with Chuck. I at least had the decency of being with him when we weren’t together. Unlike you, this is the second time you do this to me. I guess I am the idiot. The saddest thing is when I learn of your affair I took you back. And when you found out that I was with Chuck when I wasn’t in a relationship with you. You left me. You throw me away as if I was nothing. I should have know that you never cared for me like I cared for you.” With tears forming in her eyes she walked away from them. She didn’t wanted to look at him any longer. She felt like throwing up. But she couldn’t, not yet.
She didn’t know how she had managed to reach the last floor of his building. Now she stood out side of the building calling for a cab. As she manage to get a cab an asked the driver to take her to Serena’s home she looked out the window of the cab. As she saw the people out the window living their life she couldn’t stop thinking of what had happened. Why was she so stupid and naïve? If he didn’t want her, why would he make her feel this pain again? She wished she hadn’t pushed him. She wish that they where just friends. But the truth was that this was what she needed she needed her eyes to be open. She needed to see that nothing would be the same.
The cab finally arrived at the home of her friend. She couldn’t be alone right now. She knew better. The truth was she didn’t wanted to be alone anymore, because the truth was she has always been alone. She hoped that Serena would be home, she needed her.
As she arrived to Serena’s sweet, she looked around for any sign of her friend or any other member of the family. But the place was deserted. She took the liberty of heading towards Serena's room hoping to stay in her room to wait for her arrival. As she headed towards her room she heard noises coming from one of the rooms farther down the all. She heard the noises of pure pleasure. She couldn’t resist the urge to see who was making those noises. As she reached the door of the room in question she looked through the slightly open door. In there she saw something she wish she had never would have seen. Something that now destroyed the last hope she had. She looked away from the scene and went running down the stairs towards the exit. Unnoticed by the two individuals upstairs in pure ecstasy.
Tears where now rolling down her eyes as she headed towards the door not seeing the person in front of her, as she bump into the firm body that stood in front of the exit. How can so much pain happen in one day? She thought to her self.
“Blair are you okay?” asked Dan. The Brooklyn boy that she made life a living hell stood in front of her as her life fell apart. If anyone deserve to see her fall was Dan. He was the only one that never made her suffer and yet she had made him suffer the most with her selfishness.
“I just need to get out of here.” Was all she responded. “What happened upstairs Blair? Did Chuck hurt you?” he asked immediately. He knew that Chuck was living here. As he tried to go head upstairs she stopped him. She was surprise by his concern.
“No he didn’t hurt me. But please can you take me home. I don’t think I am in my right mind to go by myself.” She pled with her eyes. Dan looked at her big brown eyes. He saw the pain that was in them. With shock that she had asked him for his help he agree to take her home. Not knowing of what was going up upstairs.
Blair didn't want him to see what was really going upstairs. She couldn't bare to see him in the same pain that she was going through. The ride on the cab back to her home was very quiet. He kept glancing at her with concern eyes. She hated the quietness of the ride it only made her think about the betrayal she went through today. Finding her boyfriend with another woman and now finding her best friend with the man she loved.
She was in love with Chuck Bass and it was destroying her. Knowing exactly who he was didn't help. She should have expected this from him, but with Serena she had not expected. Serena took everything away from her. She couldn’t allow Dan to see the scene upstairs. At that moment she couldn't think about anything but making their lives a living hell. But she would just be sinking to their level. Blair Waldorf was really dead and now all that was left was nothing.
As the cab stopped Dan asked her a question that she did not hear. All she did was nodded as she walked quietly to her building. She felt him following her and she guess that the question was, "Do you want me to take you all the way to your sweet?"
She entered her home to find it empty. Her mother was away with Cyrus somewhere in the world and she had given the day of do Dorota to spend it with Nate. That thought made her heart hurt.
"Thanks Dan," she said as she turned around to face him. Dan was once again shock at her words.
"Blair are you sure you are okay? You are really starting to scare me. You are not acting like yourself." He couldn't stop staring at her seeing what her next move would be. He really didn't like this version of her. She might be a Bitch but that was the only normal Blair he knew, concern with the need of making what ever was hurting her go away; to protect her from the world, looking as if she lost her innocents scared him. The thought of him conferring her.
Shaking his head of those thoughts he waited for her answered.
"It's okay Dan. I will be okay. I have to be. I apologies if I scared you. I just..." She couldn't tell him what just happen. She couldn't break another person like she was broken. She knew that he loves Serena, as much as she hated her at this moment. She couldn't do this to him. Not after what he just did. Took her home safely without any harm coming to her.
"You just what Blair?" He asked her breaking her thoughts. Bringing her back to reality.
"I just broke up with Nate. You know how girls get in a break up. I just needed to breath. But I am okay now I promise." She told him. That she could tell him. She could tell him that she broke up with him. It will only be in Gossip Girl later on today. But the second part of it all, she could never tell him.
"Okay, I am sorry to hear that. I think I am going to head out now. Just called me if anything. Okay." Now it was her turn to be shock. This was not like both of them to helping each other. But this world was full of shockers she had learned that the hard way. All she did was nodded as he headed out the door. Once he was gone she had wish she had asked him to stay. Now she was truthfully allow. No one was there to see her fall once again, to stop her of her actions.
She knew where she was heading, the same place she had gone so many times before. Now no one will see her fall once again. As she enter the room she stood in front of the familiar place, she started once again to rid herself of the little food she had that morning. Once she had finish she stood up and stared at herself in the mirror. This was all she was. Blair, someone that no one wanted, as Chuck had once told her before. "No one wants you, now that you are was tainted." She had lost her beauty, he had told her. Seeing herself in the mirror, she wondered if she ever had any at all.
She walked slowly to her room and laid in her bed alone as she started to cry herself to sleep.