Nasty people..
Wow, long time since I posted here, I really should start using this again, if only as a tool to vent my frustrations.Not really sure anyone reads it anymore anyway.
Anyways, I have a major frustration that i really need to vent, and i think writing it down might help stop it from playing in my head constantly.
My daughter Lilianah's dad got married on the weekend, and our whole family were invited, which was really lovely of him and his wife. I have a pretty good relationship with her dad, we communicate well, and to be honest,i consider him a friend and i think he does me as well.
The wedding was lovely and i was so happy for them both, it's lovely to see them so happy, even the bride commented to me at one stage how lovely it was to glance over at me during the ceremony and see such joy on my face, i truly was delighted for them both. The reception was great, a very diverse crowd, from parents of the bride and groom, to hippy fellow activists of the bride and groom. Lilianah had a ball, she looked beautiful in her flower girl dress and really enjoyed herself.
Well everything went to shit when the speeches happened, the bride's dad got up and talked and said some lovely things, and included welcoming lilianah to their family, which meant a lot. Then the groom's father got up to speak... the whole speech had a real negative tinge to it, which wasnt pleasant, but then he dropped a complete bombshell by talking about how having Lilianah had ruined his son's life. That "all his dreams went awry" and that the "birth was the downfall of his career".
I was completely dumbstruck to start with, I couldn't believe he had said it, and initially thought maybe i'd imagined it, until I looked over at my eldest daughter and saw her face, then i glanced at the table of hippies and they were all looking as horrified as i felt. I was so humiliated and so hurt and angry that he would say such a thing, not just in such a public place, but in front of my children, especially Lilianah. at first i didn't think she had caught it, but then she was talking to me about the wedding last night and told me all her favourite bits and then said in a very serious voice, "but i didn't like when grandpa was talking about me".
Lilianah is very special to both of us, it's plainly obvious that she is loved by both her mummy and daddy, but of late there have been some negative comments thrown around when it comes to her.Her dad recently did a self improvement course and after one of the sessions he called me to apologise for some of the stuff he had done throughout our relationship, he then went on to talk about his relationship with her and how he had transferred his resentment for not having a choice in becoming a parent onto her.This was so wrong, as he did have a choice, in fact the whole thing was down to him, if he had not wanted to be a father i would have aborted, as i have never chosen to be a single parent with any of my kids. Then a few weeks ago he and his wife and i were talking about when lilianah was a baby, his wife made a comment to a friend of there who was there that he was an amazing dad "considering he was only 22". This again was wrong, he was 24 when i had her, and i don't see why that's a big deal, i was 24 when i had my first child.
So in all, i am just over all this negativity when it comes to my little girl, and i want it to stop. I have decided to write her dad and his wife a letter about it, so when they return from their honeymoon they can read it, that way i get to say what i feel without being interrupted, and they get to think about it before responding.
thoughts anyone?
Anyways, I have a major frustration that i really need to vent, and i think writing it down might help stop it from playing in my head constantly.
My daughter Lilianah's dad got married on the weekend, and our whole family were invited, which was really lovely of him and his wife. I have a pretty good relationship with her dad, we communicate well, and to be honest,i consider him a friend and i think he does me as well.
The wedding was lovely and i was so happy for them both, it's lovely to see them so happy, even the bride commented to me at one stage how lovely it was to glance over at me during the ceremony and see such joy on my face, i truly was delighted for them both. The reception was great, a very diverse crowd, from parents of the bride and groom, to hippy fellow activists of the bride and groom. Lilianah had a ball, she looked beautiful in her flower girl dress and really enjoyed herself.
Well everything went to shit when the speeches happened, the bride's dad got up and talked and said some lovely things, and included welcoming lilianah to their family, which meant a lot. Then the groom's father got up to speak... the whole speech had a real negative tinge to it, which wasnt pleasant, but then he dropped a complete bombshell by talking about how having Lilianah had ruined his son's life. That "all his dreams went awry" and that the "birth was the downfall of his career".
I was completely dumbstruck to start with, I couldn't believe he had said it, and initially thought maybe i'd imagined it, until I looked over at my eldest daughter and saw her face, then i glanced at the table of hippies and they were all looking as horrified as i felt. I was so humiliated and so hurt and angry that he would say such a thing, not just in such a public place, but in front of my children, especially Lilianah. at first i didn't think she had caught it, but then she was talking to me about the wedding last night and told me all her favourite bits and then said in a very serious voice, "but i didn't like when grandpa was talking about me".
Lilianah is very special to both of us, it's plainly obvious that she is loved by both her mummy and daddy, but of late there have been some negative comments thrown around when it comes to her.Her dad recently did a self improvement course and after one of the sessions he called me to apologise for some of the stuff he had done throughout our relationship, he then went on to talk about his relationship with her and how he had transferred his resentment for not having a choice in becoming a parent onto her.This was so wrong, as he did have a choice, in fact the whole thing was down to him, if he had not wanted to be a father i would have aborted, as i have never chosen to be a single parent with any of my kids. Then a few weeks ago he and his wife and i were talking about when lilianah was a baby, his wife made a comment to a friend of there who was there that he was an amazing dad "considering he was only 22". This again was wrong, he was 24 when i had her, and i don't see why that's a big deal, i was 24 when i had my first child.
So in all, i am just over all this negativity when it comes to my little girl, and i want it to stop. I have decided to write her dad and his wife a letter about it, so when they return from their honeymoon they can read it, that way i get to say what i feel without being interrupted, and they get to think about it before responding.
thoughts anyone?