Dana's Malakim Pt 32/32 - Conclusion

[dhamphir]

Title: Dana’s Malakim

Author: dhamphir

Fandom: X-Files

Pairing: Scully/OFC (Logan)

Rating: NC17

Summary: Scully must identify Mulder’s body after his suicide. Dying of cancer, she now faces an uncertain future, a crisis of faith... and a new partner. Little does she know the extraordinary and incredible things she’s seen while with the X-Files are nothing compared to what’s to come.

Time line/Spoilers: AU. Starts immediately after S4E23 Demons.

Disclaimer: X-Files and its characters belong to C.C. and 1013 Productions. No copyright infringement intended, no money be made.

A/N1: Some dialogue taken directly from the show. Although I do a bit of research for my stories, I’ve never been a cop, doctor, herbalist, psychologist, or theologist.

A/N2: Special thanks to sinadino  for the German translations, and to xhuggles  and ivy_wang  for the Chinese translations.

A/N3: All mistakes are my own. Special thanks to oxfordshoes2  for the beta.


Dana’s Malakim

Part 32

Logan’s House

Washington, DC

Sunday, July 12th, 1998

It was Sunday afternoon when Nicole woke up. She was infinitely grateful to find Dana sharing her bed instead of sitting in the chair across the room. She lay there simply watching her lover sleep for several minutes. She sent up a prayer of thanks that the events of the previous night did not cost her Dana and her love. Her heart felt it was about to burst with the love she felt for the redhead. She rolled onto her side and with a smile started to carefully unbutton the oversized cotton shirt.

“Mmmm...” Dana was slowly waking to the wonderful sensation of a warm, moist mouth suckling at her breast. She didn’t open her eyes, just reveled in the sensations. Oh, God, that feels so good... She felt her lover’s warm body shift and gentle fingers grazed auburn curls and then her wet and swollen lips. She moaned in pleasure. A hungry mouth captured hers and she returned the kiss. A warm, wet mouth nuzzled and worried her neck and throat as she arched up into her lover’s body. She brought her knees up, opening herself up completely and groaned as deft fingers filled her.

Nicole could feel Dana’s wet heat squeezing her fingers as she moved in and out of her. The redhead’s constant moans were music to her ears. Dana was completely unrestrained and uninhibited, totally lost in sensation. She had never allowed herself to really give up control with a lover before. Only with Nicole did she let go. Only Nicole made her feel safe to do so, made her want to.

She felt it begin deep within her belly, the warmth and tightness, growing and infusing her veins with molten heat. It spread throughout her body. Her heart was thundering beneath her breastbone, her lungs sucked in gasps of air, her muscles trembled, and bright flashes exploded behind her eyelids.

Dana came explosively, physically and vocally, and Nicole felt a sympathetic resonance sing through her own body. Her cry joined Dana’s as she also climaxed.

Nicole’s body bonelessly collapsed on top of the redhead’s. She felt Dana’s legs slowly settle onto the bed on either side of her. Dana’s arms still rested around her as Nicole’s head lay on her shoulder. Both were trying to catch their breath and slow their hearts. Soon the blonde rolled off of Dana, onto her back next to the redhead.

When Dana caught her breath she rolled over, partially onto the blonde’s body. She caressed Nicole’s cheek as she gazed at her face. She was surprised to see that the cuts, bruising, and swelling around her lover’s eye and on her lip were gone. She slowly ran her eyes, and hand, down Nicole’s torso, running over previously battered, bruised, and lacerated skin. As she did so, Nicole reached up and lethargically peeled away the bandage from her upper chest, revealing the absence of knife wounds and surgical incisions. Full of wonder, Dana removed the bandaging from the blonde’s terrible side wound. She touched every part of her lover’s body that had been injured, attempting to make the fact that Nicole was fully healed real in her mind.

“How...”

“As long as I’m not unconscious and have a clear mind, I can accelerate healing. Injuries anyway. Things like a cold, migraines, and stuff like that I have to suffer through just like anyone else.”

“Is it difficult?”

Nicole gave her a half smile. “It took me a number years to learn how to do it.”

“So that explains how you recuperated so quickly after what happened in Chattanooga.”

The blonde nodded, remembering their first case together and the beating ‘Gumby’ had given her because she’d screwed up. “Yeah. Once the drugs and concussion wore off, I was able to heal.” She saw Dana frown. “What?”

“If you have to have your mind clear, then how were you able to recuperate so quickly when Brian Monroe drugged you?”

“I took some precautions earlier that day... a kind of antitoxin to help retard the effects.”

Dana thought for a moment. “Like the tea we had before going out clubbing?”

“Yes and no. The tea is definitely beneficial in a number of ways, but it was what I added to it.”

“You mean the substance you added to my tea when I was sick?”

“Yeah.”

“How can what you used to help me also be used as an antitoxin?

“Think of the substance like stem cells. It fills whatever role is needed. It’s what settled your stomach after radiation and chemo treatments, helped me resist and overcome what Brian Monroe drugged me with, and helped prevent a hangover from the alcohol we drank when we went clubbing. It was also the main ingredient of the balm that eased your saddle soreness in Montana, and in the sunscreen that prevented you from burning. It’s really quite amazing.”

“I know I didn’t ask for a sample after I got back, but...” She paused for a few moments before continuing. “Does the offer still stand? Can I still get a sample to examine?”

Nicole gave her an affectionate smile. “Yes. I’ll give you a sample.” She sat up, carefully released her wings, and plucked a feather. “Simply break open the quill and extract the liquid.” After retracting her wings she held the feather out to the redhead, but Dana had jumped off of the bed and was staring at her, dumbfounded, from several feet away. “What’s wrong?”

“They’re r-real. You really have wings.” She shook her head. “I thought I saw them on the monitor, but I...” She again shook her head. “And you glow!”

Nicole’s brow creased. “You saw me glow?”

“Yes, all silvery like.”

“When?”

“Last night when you were fighting...”

“Fritz.”

“When you were fighting Fritz. And just now when you... when you had wings.”

“Come here, Dana,” she said gently as she held her hand out. “Please.”

She took the blonde’s hand and sat on the bed again.

“Normally, the only physical manifestation people can see are the wings and something in my eyes. It takes someone very special to see that ‘glow.’”

Dana didn’t have a clue about what to think or say. “I’m having a hard time believing my own eyes.”

“Then do more than look,” Nicole said gently. She once again released her wings.

Reflexively, Dana’s hand moved towards the snow white feathers of the wing outstretched in front of her, but she stopped herself. Her eyes cut to the blonde’s. “May I?”

Nicole nodded. “Of course. If you can’t touch them then no one can.”

Her hand continued its journey until her fingertips grazed the unbelievably soft feathers. She sucked in a surprised breath. “They’re so soft,” she said, wonder coloring her tone. She moved her hand to the top edge of the wing, running her palm along it, feeling the underlying strength and warmth of the bone and flesh beneath the feathers, her eyes wide. “How?” she whispered in awe.

“I know you have a lot of questions, and I’ll answer what I can. But I’m rather hungry since we haven’t eaten since last night. Let’s go get something to eat and we can talk. Okay?”

At the mention of food, Dana realized how hungry she was as well. She nod­ded. The two women got up. Nicole retracted her wings and slipped on her robe. Dana buttoned the oversized shirt and followed her lover into the kitchen. Working together they threw together a light meal of cut up fresh fruit. They ate rather quickly and then settled down on the couch to talk. They sat close, but facing each other. Dana stared at the feather she nervously worried between her fingers. Nicole reached out and took one of Dana’s hands in hers, watching her, waiting.

Finally Dana broke the silence. “Why?”

“Why what, Dana?”

“Why are you a... a Malakim?”

“Boy, you go right for the hard ones, don’t you?” she said with a small, rueful smile. The blonde squeezed Dana’s hand, and cut off her apology. “It’s okay.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Malakims are... well, heaven’s soldiers, champions. Our purpose is to hunt and battle evil forces in the world. To carry out our duty we are given certain abilities... abilities angelic in nature. But Malakims are not, and never have been, angels. We’ve always been human. We’re paladins, basically.”

“Paladins? As in Charlemagne’s paladins?”

“No. No Malakim would ever fight for or against a particular religion. Charlemagne was a fanatical papist. Any religion that furthers the goodness in people is a valid path to the Creator.”

“The Creator, you mean God?”

Nicole smiled. “That is one name, but also very limiting. The Creator is so much more and has been known by countless names. The Creator has been called God, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Mother Earth, Tian, Yahweh, Wakantanka, Deus, or any of a thousand other names.”

“But why you?”

Nicole took a deep breath. “My family.”

Dana raised an eyebrow in question.

“One of my ancestors was chosen, thousands of years ago. Since then the duty, the privilege, has been passed down my family line ever since.”

“You said your grandmother was a Malakim?”

Nicole nodded. “Yes, but not my mother.”

“So it skips a generation?”

Nicole smiled. “It’s not that simple. Grandma’s father was also a Malakim. And remember, I could have chosen not to develop my abilities.”

“Who...” Dana hesitated asking one of the questions that scared her.

“It alright, Dana, go ahead and ask,” she said gently.

“Who do you work for?”

“The FBI.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Nicole smiled. “I know what you mean. If you’re asking if I receive direct communication from the Creator, the answer is no. But there are others who are in the same fight.”

“Other Malakims?”

“Yes, and others. As I said, the world is full of all kinds of creatures, good and evil.”

“Do I want to know?”

Nicole shrugged. “I don’t know, but it seems to me you’ve already faced a number of the world’s evils, in their varying forms.” She gave Dana’s hand a squeeze. “And you’ve met some of the good ones - Ian, Thea, Lance, and Ariel.”

“Ian said he’s...”

“A vampire, yes. But he’s redeemed himself. He one of the good guys now.”

“And Thea is a witch.” It sounded like both a statement and a question.

“Yes. And Lance is an elf.”

Dana ran a slow hand over her face as she tried to absorb everything. “You also mentioned Ariel.”

The blonde smiled. “Ariel is an angel.”

“What?”

“Ariel is a Guardian Angel. I knew her in life. When she died she became an angel.”

“But she didn’t have any wings... or a halo...”

Nicole couldn’t keep from smiling. She closed her eyes and sent out a call for her friend. By the time she opened her eyes a few moments later, there was a form coalescing a couple of feet away. Dana’s eyes were wide with shock as she watched Ariel take form right in front of her. The blonde felt the hand she was holding in her own tremble.

Ariel smiled benevolently. “I’m glad to see that you’re alright, Nicole.”

“Thank you.”

The angel looked at Dana. “And you look quite healthy and happy... though a bit shell-shocked.”

“Uh... yeah.”

“I’ve told Dana that you’re an angel and she pointed out that you don’t have wings or a halo.”

Ariel smiled and then snapped her fingers. Suddenly she was every bit that vision of a ‘traditional’ angel - wings, halo, and flowing white robe. “Is this more what you’d expect?”

“I-I guess.” Dana couldn’t help but reach out to touch the woman.

Ariel caught her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Yes, I am real.” In the blink of an eye she changed back to her original appearance. She knelt in front of Dana, looking her in the eyes. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but trust me - everything will be fine. You have a blessed soul, Dana.” She glanced at the blonde. “You both do.” With that, she began to fade and was gone in a moment.

Dana’s hand that had been holding Ariel’s suddenly closed around nothing. She looked at the blonde in astonishment.

“She right. Everything will be okay.” Nicole leaned forward and lightly pressed her lips against the redhead’s.

Dana was silent as she tried to order her thoughts and feelings.

“What’s wrong, Dana,” Nicole asked as she observed the redhead’s expression.

“I’ve struggled so much with... the church, my faith the last couple of years.”

“Two entirely different things. The church is not your faith, Dana. And no matter what struggles you’ve faced, you haven’t let them change the good that is in you. Even when you have your greatest doubts you still have a good heart and soul. You are a good person. You are a beautiful woman, Dana, with a beautiful soul.” The blonde spoke in a heartfelt tone and meant every word.

Nicole’s words touched something deep inside Dana and she felt a lump form in her throat. She pressed her lips together and breathed in through her nose in an effort to hold back the tears that welled in her eyes. Her efforts didn’t go unnoticed by Nicole, who shifted and wrapped Dana in her strong, warm arms. They adjusted so that the redhead was sitting with her back to Nicole, and the blonde’s arms were around her. Dana turned her head and rested her forehead against Nicole’s jaw. She felt fingers trail through her hair.

After relaxing in her lover’s arms for a couple of minutes, Dana turned her face away from the blonde and Nicole felt the redhead tense up. She correctly guessed what Dana’s next question was.

“Why were you assigned to the X-Files?” Dana asked almost inaudibly. She was afraid of the answer.

The blonde took a deep breath. Finally she responded softly, but clearly, “Because of the Consortium... and because of you.”

Dana sat up, pulling away from Nicole. Her hands were shaking slightly and she closed her eyes. “So I’m still somebody’s pawn.”

“No, Dana, you’re no pawn.” She let out a sigh. “No one’s trying to use you, least of all me. I was supposed to take care of the Consortium, but the priority was to save your life. It wasn’t your time to die, Dana. And personally, I’m glad.” She sat quietly, allowing the redhead some time to process her words.

Finally, Dana spoke again. “Then why wait?”

“If you mean why wasn’t I, or someone else, sent sooner, I don’t know. And if you mean why did I wait until you were in the hospital... I did the best I could, Dana.” Tears filled her eyes. “Believe me, it killed me to almost lose you,” she barely managed to strangle out around the lump in her throat.

Dana turned and saw the stricken look on her lover’s face and the tears in her eyes. She immediately moved to take the blonde in her arms. She kissed Nicole and gently wiped the few tears that had escaped. “I’m sorry I questioned you or your motives.”

The blonde tightened her arms around her lover. “It’s okay... I understand. After everything you’ve been through... I’d do the same thing.”

They kissed and simply held each other for a couple of minutes. When they finally parted, the blonde kept her arm around Dana’s shoulders and the redhead laid her head on Nicole’s shoulder. She kissed Dana’s forehead. “Dana, I would change some things if I could, but I’m not sorry I was assigned as your partner. And I’m not sorry I was able to find a way to help you and to take out the Consortium.”

She squeezed the blonde’s hand. “I’m not either. It’s just... a lot to take in.”

“I know.”

“Why did you request a transfer when I came back?”

Nicole took a deep breath before replying. “Because I had completed my assignment - I achieved both objectives...” she paused before continuing, “... and because I’d fallen in love with you.”

“You wanted to leave because you fell in love with me?” Dana picked up her head off Nicole’s shoulder and looked at her.

“I didn’t think I stood a chance with you.”

“So why did you stay?”

“Because I’d fallen in love with you,” she said with a small smile. “And because you asked me to.”

“Where would you have gone if you’d left?”

“Back to Europe, back to the work I was doing before.”

Dana frowned. “Wait a minute, your file said you’d been on medical leave when you were assigned to the division.”

The blonde nodded and let out a sigh. “I know. That wasn’t exactly the case.”

“So the incident in Bucharest, your previous partner-”

“All true. Only the timeline was altered a little in my public file. I was already back to work, and in the middle of an assignment. I was recalled with no notice and that’s never happened before. I was back here in DC the same night as Agent Mulder’s death, and had my initial meeting with Skinner.”

“Skinner - does he know what you are?”

“Not exactly. He’s aware of a couple of things about me, but he doesn’t know everything, and he doesn’t know I’m a Malakim.”

“You’re the one who helped him, aren’t you? You said he was no longer compromised. You did something about it, didn’t you?”

Nicole nodded. “I merely offered him a second chance. It was up to him whether to take it or not. Just like you.”

They talked until late, until time to go to bed so they could get up and go to work in the morning. They retired to the bedroom. Nicole slipped off her robe and got into bed. Dana removed her shirt and also slipped under the covers. After only a moment’s hesitation the redhead wrapped her arms around her lover and held her close. They kissed tenderly.

Nicole saw something pass behind the redhead’s eyes. “What?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course you can.”

“Is... homosexuality a sin?”

The blonde reached up and tenderly caressed her lover’s cheek. “No. The sin is in not being honest with oneself, in denying who and what you are. Love - selfless, giving love - is never a sin.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because the Creator not only made me a Malakim, but also made me gay. Homophobia - like hate, fear, racism, the crusades, the inquisition, etc - is a construct of mankind, of the church, not a construct of the Creator.” She took one of Dana’s hands in her own and touched it to her forehead. “I know it here,” she laid Dana’s palm over her heart, “and I know it here.”

Wanting to fully believe Nicole, Dana continued with her probing. “But what about the bible? It says-”

“It says what fearful, misogynistic men decided it said.” She gave Dana a small smile. “Remember, there are over 50 versions of the bible in English alone. Which one is the right one?” she asked rhetorically. “I can tell you that in the original texts, in the original languages, there is no such condemnation. Even in the third and fourth centuries men could not agree on the interpretation of the bible.” She gave Dana a small smile. “Did you know that ‘Thou shalt not kill,’ isn’t even a commandment?”

“What do you mean?”

“In the original Hebrew, it’s ‘Thou shalt not murder.’ You’d be quite surprised how things are actually worded in the original texts.”

“So the church is wrong...”

“The church is a construct of mankind, an attempt at understanding the Creator and the Creator’s plan. But as a construct of mankind the church is fallible - most apparent in the position that their way is the one and only way to God.”

“You mean the Catholic church.”

“I mean all churches who claim that theirs is the only way, be they Christian or otherwise. There is no ‘one true way’ to know the Creator. The Creator is made known to each person in a unique and personal way. When you’re at peace, conduct yourself ethically, and strive for the betterment of yourself and others, you know you’re on the right path.”

Dana gazed in Nicole’s dark green eyes. “You seem so sure.”

“I have to be... to do what I do, I have to be.” She let out a deep breath. “But I’m just as human as the next person, and I have my doubts, and I get angry, and there are times I hate the Creator, and I...” she paused. “I have as many human failings as anyone... but I keep trying.” Nicole stopped and gazed into Dana’s eyes. “I know you were raised in the Cath­olic church and that its teachings are the foundation of your faith. Take from it what feels right to you and follow your heart. You have a good heart and soul, and as long as you listen to them, you’ll not go wrong.”

Everything Nicole said felt so right and fit so well with her own personal thoughts and feelings. She moved forward and kissed her. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not dismissing my questions and discussing this so hon­estly and plainly. Faith isn’t always an easy topic of discussion.”

Nicole nodded. “I know. If I helped, I’m glad. But I don’t have all the answers. I’m not even sure of the questions a lot of the time,” she said with a small smile. “But I don’t ever want you to feel you can’t talk to me or be afraid to ask questions. I don’t want communication to ever be a problem. I love you, Dana, so very much. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” She again caressed Dana’s cheek very tenderly. “You touch my heart and my soul.” They kissed tenderly.

They drifted to sleep in each other arms, contented smiles gracing their lips.

~~~

FBI Headquarters

Monday, July 13th, 1998

They had to part ways in the morning since Dana had to go home to prepare for work. When she walked into their office the redhead smiled as she was handed a mug of fresh, hot tea... and received a kiss.

“Good morning,” the blonde said with a smile.

“Yes, it is,” Dana replied, also smiling.

“There was a note on my desk - Skinner wants to see us first thing.”

“Then let’s go.”

~~~

They were allowed to enter the AD’s office as soon as they arrived.

“Good morning, Agent Scully, Agent Logan.”

“Good morning, sir,” they replied in unison as they took their seats.

“I need to know if you’re up to working in the field in the field, Logan.”

“Yes, I am.”

“It’s my understanding you’d need a few weeks of light duty.”

“Not necessary. I heal fast and I’m ready to go.”

He looked at the redhead questioningly.

“As Agent Logan’s physician, I can assure you she is well enough for field duty. And as her partner, I trust her implicitly to have my back.”

After a moment he gave a curt nod. “Very well.” He slid a couple of folders across his desk to them and proceeded to tell them about their newest case.

Dana and Nicole exchanged a look, and a smile, that verified their future together was secure - professionally and personally. They were partners, in every sense of the word.

FIN

part 1| part 2| part 3| part 4| part 5| part 6| part 7| part 8| part 9| part 10| part 11|
part 12| part 13| part 14| part 15| part 16| part 17| part 18| part 19| part 20| part 21|
part 22| part 23| part 24| part 25| part 26| part 27| part 28| part 29| part 30| part 31|