Fic: Communing With the Dead
Title: Communing With the Dead
Author/Artist: katilara
Recipient: rissabby
Prompt: Remus, anytime just after death, but before he, Sirius, James and Lily appear to Harry.
Wordcount: 1,314
Warnings or notes: I am SO sorry for being late, hon. I don't even know where my head is lately. No warnings that I can think of, since the spoiler is in the prompt. Though, I suppose I should mention the Remus/Sirius, in case there are people here not into that. The characters don't belong to me. And thanks to sopdetly for the beta.
When Remus opened his eyes it was dark, but the moon was full. It's light shone down through the branches of the trees and left the ground and underbrush spotted with silver light. It was cool, but not, he realized, the gripping chill of fear that the moon usually filled him with. There was a light breeze that rustled through the forest and blew his fringe into his eyes. He stared up at the moon, confused. He was calm, almost happy. Something was wrong.
The underbrush crunched to his left and, in a panic, he stumbled backwards into a tree. It was dangerous to be in the Forbidden Forest alone, especially at night. “Wh-who's there?”
The brush directly across from him rustled and split, and Sirius loped into the small clearing. Remus blinked, and when that didn't appear to fix the problem, he did it again.
“Look at you,” Sirius said. His voice was loud and haughty like it had been before the first war. Like it had been before trial and misery and time had softened him and spread him too thin. “Cowering there, just like it was first year all over again and you didn't want me to know your secret.” Sirius gave Remus the brash smile that had kept him up at night through most of his sixth year. “I know all your secrets Remus, there's no reason for you to be afraid.”
Remus tried to lean even further into the tree trunk as Sirius took a step towards him. “No reason? Sirius, you're a ghost.”
Sirius stopped and tilted his head. The smile faded. “Remus, I'm not. Not properly anyway. I'm not going to start haunting people and moving their things when they aren't looking. But, have you taken a look at yourself?”
He hadn't, he realized. Remus had been so preoccupied with the effect that the moon wasn't having on him, that he'd neglected to actually take stock. When he looked down his thumbs were both slipped through the small holes near the ends of the sleeves of his favorite green jumper. The jumper itself hadn't been seen since seventh year, when James had erupted an indelible ink pot near him and the house elves had taken it and never returned it. His shoes were grubby from the night he fell into the lake.
Remus looked up at Sirius again. “I-,” he closed and opened his mouth a few times before deciding against speech. He settled for just looking at Sirius and trying to make sense of anything.
Sirius watched him for a moment. He walked slowly across the clearing and stopped a yard from where Remus was still rigid against the tree. “You get to choose, don't you see? You get to revert to that time when you were happiest.” He smiled again. “And look at us, we match. I guess there's something to be said for that. After all that's happened, yeah?”
“I'm...also a ghost?” Remus relaxed. Communing with the dead wasn't as frightening a prospect if you were dead yourself. It's not like anything more could happen to you. At least, he reasoned, nothing too drastic. He made a mental note to look that up, and then realized belatedly that that was one habit he probably wouldn't be allowed to indulge in. He doubted there were libraries in the afterlife.
“Sort of, like I said, we're not really ghosts. This is just an in between place, more like a waiting room.”
“But, it's been almost two years now. Don't tell me there's that long of a queue.” Remus tried to force a chuckle and Sirius pulled a face. “Sorry, I suppose bad habits really do die hard.”
Sirius let out a short laugh. “That's more like it. But I had things to do, people to watch over. It wasn't over for those that I loved, and I wanted to see them through.”
Remus looked him up and down and took a deep breath. It was disconcerting, the way his lungs didn't react to the air at all, but it also made him feel a little more grounded in time. “You wanted to see Harry through.”
Sirius looked away through the bush. “Yeah. And I wanted to see you through. I'm, I'm sorry.”
“You're...” Remus looked in the same direction, trying to decipher what Sirius was sorry for. “Oh,” he said. His last memory was of Tonks, dashing from behind a tapestry, wand drawn and pointed at his opponent. He had seen Bellatrix turn around and point her wand at Tonks before he called out. Then two jets of green light had crossed in the chaos and blinded him. He lowered his head, disgusted that he couldn't force himself to cry over her, not when they had finally come to an understanding. Their relationship had finally been, well not ideal, but something.
“You get used to it. The lack of emotion. Emotion is mostly attached to the living world, if you found yourself fretting over things for the rest of eternity it may well be as painful as dying over and over. But you can learn to feel things, if it's important to you. Even if they're just echoes of feelings you had in your life.” He trailed off and Remus looked at him, really looked at him for the first time.
Sirius' face was more solemn than it had ever been in youth. The features were young, but bore the knowledge of two wars and many more losses. Like Remus, he was wearing the clothing he had felt the most comfortable in as a teenager, a black tee with denim trousers and ridiculous black boots he'd picked up in some muggle thrift store one summer when they were visiting Remus' father. In fact, there was something Remus almost remembered. It hung at the periphery of his memory and he groped for it.
“It's what you were wearing the first time we kissed.” Sirius' voice was barely a whisper, and Remus hadn't noticed that Sirius had stepped closer, almost closing the gap between them.
“Ah.”
Sirius closed his eyes and leaned toward Remus. Remus weighed the negative of not being able to feel happy about Sirius' advance against the positive of not being able to feel guilty about betraying anyone and decided it was a wash. Besides, from what Sirius had said, he could learn to enjoy it, given the time and inclination. Remus leaned forward and met Sirius' lips halfway. He reached up instinctively and ran his fingers through Sirius' hair, something he used to spend hours doing. Sirius let his hands fall to Remus' waist. He didn't pull him close like he would have done, but the touch was comforting in itself. It was enough to prove to Remus that this was really happening. It was really happening.
There was a small tug in his stomach, like a port key calling him in reverse. Sirius broke away and studied Remus' face. Remus pulled his hands away from Sirius' head and let them rest on his forearms. “You feel it too then?”
Sirius nodded. “There's someone calling us. We have to go to them.”
“How?”
“Just relax, it will pull you if you let it. Don't be afraid Remus, there's nothing that can hurt you anymore.”
Remus smiled crookedly. “I don't know if that makes me feel better or not.”
“You've got all the time in the world to decide that.” Sirius turned to leave the clearing and disappeared.
Remus stood, long enough for him to breathe in and out four times, alone again. “You always did leave me in your wake,” he said. “I guess not even death can change some things.” He pushed away from the tree and took two steps before his vision blurred and he let the call pull him to where he needed to be.
Author/Artist: katilara
Recipient: rissabby
Prompt: Remus, anytime just after death, but before he, Sirius, James and Lily appear to Harry.
Wordcount: 1,314
Warnings or notes: I am SO sorry for being late, hon. I don't even know where my head is lately. No warnings that I can think of, since the spoiler is in the prompt. Though, I suppose I should mention the Remus/Sirius, in case there are people here not into that. The characters don't belong to me. And thanks to sopdetly for the beta.
When Remus opened his eyes it was dark, but the moon was full. It's light shone down through the branches of the trees and left the ground and underbrush spotted with silver light. It was cool, but not, he realized, the gripping chill of fear that the moon usually filled him with. There was a light breeze that rustled through the forest and blew his fringe into his eyes. He stared up at the moon, confused. He was calm, almost happy. Something was wrong.
The underbrush crunched to his left and, in a panic, he stumbled backwards into a tree. It was dangerous to be in the Forbidden Forest alone, especially at night. “Wh-who's there?”
The brush directly across from him rustled and split, and Sirius loped into the small clearing. Remus blinked, and when that didn't appear to fix the problem, he did it again.
“Look at you,” Sirius said. His voice was loud and haughty like it had been before the first war. Like it had been before trial and misery and time had softened him and spread him too thin. “Cowering there, just like it was first year all over again and you didn't want me to know your secret.” Sirius gave Remus the brash smile that had kept him up at night through most of his sixth year. “I know all your secrets Remus, there's no reason for you to be afraid.”
Remus tried to lean even further into the tree trunk as Sirius took a step towards him. “No reason? Sirius, you're a ghost.”
Sirius stopped and tilted his head. The smile faded. “Remus, I'm not. Not properly anyway. I'm not going to start haunting people and moving their things when they aren't looking. But, have you taken a look at yourself?”
He hadn't, he realized. Remus had been so preoccupied with the effect that the moon wasn't having on him, that he'd neglected to actually take stock. When he looked down his thumbs were both slipped through the small holes near the ends of the sleeves of his favorite green jumper. The jumper itself hadn't been seen since seventh year, when James had erupted an indelible ink pot near him and the house elves had taken it and never returned it. His shoes were grubby from the night he fell into the lake.
Remus looked up at Sirius again. “I-,” he closed and opened his mouth a few times before deciding against speech. He settled for just looking at Sirius and trying to make sense of anything.
Sirius watched him for a moment. He walked slowly across the clearing and stopped a yard from where Remus was still rigid against the tree. “You get to choose, don't you see? You get to revert to that time when you were happiest.” He smiled again. “And look at us, we match. I guess there's something to be said for that. After all that's happened, yeah?”
“I'm...also a ghost?” Remus relaxed. Communing with the dead wasn't as frightening a prospect if you were dead yourself. It's not like anything more could happen to you. At least, he reasoned, nothing too drastic. He made a mental note to look that up, and then realized belatedly that that was one habit he probably wouldn't be allowed to indulge in. He doubted there were libraries in the afterlife.
“Sort of, like I said, we're not really ghosts. This is just an in between place, more like a waiting room.”
“But, it's been almost two years now. Don't tell me there's that long of a queue.” Remus tried to force a chuckle and Sirius pulled a face. “Sorry, I suppose bad habits really do die hard.”
Sirius let out a short laugh. “That's more like it. But I had things to do, people to watch over. It wasn't over for those that I loved, and I wanted to see them through.”
Remus looked him up and down and took a deep breath. It was disconcerting, the way his lungs didn't react to the air at all, but it also made him feel a little more grounded in time. “You wanted to see Harry through.”
Sirius looked away through the bush. “Yeah. And I wanted to see you through. I'm, I'm sorry.”
“You're...” Remus looked in the same direction, trying to decipher what Sirius was sorry for. “Oh,” he said. His last memory was of Tonks, dashing from behind a tapestry, wand drawn and pointed at his opponent. He had seen Bellatrix turn around and point her wand at Tonks before he called out. Then two jets of green light had crossed in the chaos and blinded him. He lowered his head, disgusted that he couldn't force himself to cry over her, not when they had finally come to an understanding. Their relationship had finally been, well not ideal, but something.
“You get used to it. The lack of emotion. Emotion is mostly attached to the living world, if you found yourself fretting over things for the rest of eternity it may well be as painful as dying over and over. But you can learn to feel things, if it's important to you. Even if they're just echoes of feelings you had in your life.” He trailed off and Remus looked at him, really looked at him for the first time.
Sirius' face was more solemn than it had ever been in youth. The features were young, but bore the knowledge of two wars and many more losses. Like Remus, he was wearing the clothing he had felt the most comfortable in as a teenager, a black tee with denim trousers and ridiculous black boots he'd picked up in some muggle thrift store one summer when they were visiting Remus' father. In fact, there was something Remus almost remembered. It hung at the periphery of his memory and he groped for it.
“It's what you were wearing the first time we kissed.” Sirius' voice was barely a whisper, and Remus hadn't noticed that Sirius had stepped closer, almost closing the gap between them.
“Ah.”
Sirius closed his eyes and leaned toward Remus. Remus weighed the negative of not being able to feel happy about Sirius' advance against the positive of not being able to feel guilty about betraying anyone and decided it was a wash. Besides, from what Sirius had said, he could learn to enjoy it, given the time and inclination. Remus leaned forward and met Sirius' lips halfway. He reached up instinctively and ran his fingers through Sirius' hair, something he used to spend hours doing. Sirius let his hands fall to Remus' waist. He didn't pull him close like he would have done, but the touch was comforting in itself. It was enough to prove to Remus that this was really happening. It was really happening.
There was a small tug in his stomach, like a port key calling him in reverse. Sirius broke away and studied Remus' face. Remus pulled his hands away from Sirius' head and let them rest on his forearms. “You feel it too then?”
Sirius nodded. “There's someone calling us. We have to go to them.”
“How?”
“Just relax, it will pull you if you let it. Don't be afraid Remus, there's nothing that can hurt you anymore.”
Remus smiled crookedly. “I don't know if that makes me feel better or not.”
“You've got all the time in the world to decide that.” Sirius turned to leave the clearing and disappeared.
Remus stood, long enough for him to breathe in and out four times, alone again. “You always did leave me in your wake,” he said. “I guess not even death can change some things.” He pushed away from the tree and took two steps before his vision blurred and he let the call pull him to where he needed to be.