Since finding out about his alliances, Lenalee's view on Spy has been of the 'pretend it all away' variety. She actually really, really wants him to be angry with her, because truth be told, she's angry at herself and she wants to stay angry, and it'd be so much easier if he'd just go along with it. If he's upset with her, she has something concrete to apologize for. And that aside, she's so... tired... of accidentally learning about mixed allegiances; that people she wants to trust feel like they need to hide these things from her. It hurts worse finding out after building false trust.
That said, she still sees her childhood best friend when she looks at him. The person who let her hide away from Leverrier in his room and never said anything unkind about it or asked for anything in return. And she can't let that go. That's probably part of why she wishes he would just snap at her for treating him so harshly. She thinks she deserves it.
It would be a lie to say she doesn't sometimes wish she hadn't pressured him into telling her. But more than that, she wants to overcome this barrier and rebuild the lost familiarity, if it's... at all possible to.
That said, she still sees her childhood best friend when she looks at him. The person who let her hide away from Leverrier in his room and never said anything unkind about it or asked for anything in return. And she can't let that go. That's probably part of why she wishes he would just snap at her for treating him so harshly. She thinks she deserves it.
It would be a lie to say she doesn't sometimes wish she hadn't pressured him into telling her. But more than that, she wants to overcome this barrier and rebuild the lost familiarity, if it's... at all possible to.
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