Old story
I used to like this guy way back in college. I swear my heart would beat erratically when he's around. Thinking about the things I did just for him to notice me makes my stomach churns because of embarrassment.
How low could I be just for him to notice me, that I don't know.
I don't know if its love or infatuation or just a mere childish crush. Cause, when I heard that he already have a girlfriend, my world stopped spinning. I was really hurt. I mean, he was flirting with me and suddenly, I'll found out that he's dating someone. Or it was just me, assuming that he likes me too?
I took a lot of time for me to forget him. It was really hard. We would get to bump into each other since were in the same school and worse, same department. I spent a lot of endless nights crying and lying to my friends that I'm okay even if I'm not.
But I managed to forget about him or at least, I stopped thinking about him.
Then graduation came.
I was beyond ecstatic knowing that there are lesser chance of seeing him.
Then our review came.
I never thought of the possibility that we'd be in the same review school. Oh my. upon seeing his name on the logbook. I didn't know what to react. Half of my brain was saying that "It's okay, you've moved on right. So what is there to care about?" and the other half was saying otherwise.
But then, I managed to pull through. And I've proved to myself that he has no longer have an effect on me.
So what is exactly my point?
How can you say that you have already moved on from something that you really wanted but you cannot have?
Is it when you're able to look at his eyes without melting?
Is it when you're able to laugh at the crazy things you did just for him to notice you?
Or is it when you don't feel anything whenever his name is mentioned?
I knew, what I felt for him was love. Though I cannot say that I never regretted it. But I can say that was hurt and broken and I was able to bring those pieces together. And made my self stronger.
Now, realizing all the things that had happened. I am seriously glad that we didn't up together.
How low could I be just for him to notice me, that I don't know.
I don't know if its love or infatuation or just a mere childish crush. Cause, when I heard that he already have a girlfriend, my world stopped spinning. I was really hurt. I mean, he was flirting with me and suddenly, I'll found out that he's dating someone. Or it was just me, assuming that he likes me too?
I took a lot of time for me to forget him. It was really hard. We would get to bump into each other since were in the same school and worse, same department. I spent a lot of endless nights crying and lying to my friends that I'm okay even if I'm not.
But I managed to forget about him or at least, I stopped thinking about him.
Then graduation came.
I was beyond ecstatic knowing that there are lesser chance of seeing him.
Then our review came.
I never thought of the possibility that we'd be in the same review school. Oh my. upon seeing his name on the logbook. I didn't know what to react. Half of my brain was saying that "It's okay, you've moved on right. So what is there to care about?" and the other half was saying otherwise.
But then, I managed to pull through. And I've proved to myself that he has no longer have an effect on me.
So what is exactly my point?
How can you say that you have already moved on from something that you really wanted but you cannot have?
Is it when you're able to look at his eyes without melting?
Is it when you're able to laugh at the crazy things you did just for him to notice you?
Or is it when you don't feel anything whenever his name is mentioned?
I knew, what I felt for him was love. Though I cannot say that I never regretted it. But I can say that was hurt and broken and I was able to bring those pieces together. And made my self stronger.
Now, realizing all the things that had happened. I am seriously glad that we didn't up together.