Best of Leverage 3.1
Season 3 ep 1
Nate: And if I fail?
The Italian: You come stay in my prison in Rome. Thick walls a thousand years old, and we still use chains for such a bad man.
Nate: What about my team?
The Italian: They lead dangerous lives. Thieves die all the time.
Nate: Now that you should not have said.
The Italian: I don't know, you seem highly motivated.
Parker: Why these people?
Eliot: Because, they're citizens. Because they're honest, middle-class citizens. These are the people who don't want to cause any trouble, they can't afford a lawyer, so some judge sends them away, well, yes sir. They were taught to trust the courts. They believe in the system.
Billy: You stabbed me.
Nate: Come on, just a little. It's fine.
Nate: Guys, no. I committed a crime, I got caught, and now I'm gonna serve my time.
Sophie: Nate, what kind of world would it be if everybody that committed a silly little crime went to prison, huh? Complete madness.
Nate: I hope Sophie has more luck with the warden.
Parker: Who's Sophie?
Hardison: You remember, we're not supposed to use her real name with, uh...
Parker: Right. Nate hasn't earned it yet. Forgot. Sophie. So-phie. So-o-o-phie. Sophie. S-S-S-sophie. Sophie.
Sophie [pointing at drink]: So how's that going for you?
Nate: Thanks for asking. Good, what I realized is that I tried being a drunk honest man, a sober thief. So I am going to try being a drunk thief. Try that for a little while.
Hardison: See, I like this. I like it when we pretend to kiss.
Parker: Prented??
Hardison [grins]: Heeeeey.
Nate: Guys, I committed a crime, I got caught and now I am going to server my time.
Sophie: Nate, what kind of world would it be if everyone who committed a silly little crime went to jail? Complete madness!
Season 3 ep 2
Nate: What, are you lurking?
Eliot: Yeah. I'm a lurker. It's my thing.
Parker: For a den of evil spies, this place smells delicious. Hardison, confiscate some pastries.
Eliot: Nobody else thinks it's weird that you can just buy anybody's yearbook online?
Hardison: You know, it's cute, man, how you still believe in privacy.
Eliot: Getting bullied in high school is no excuse for propping up dictators. Take Hardison. He got bullied his whole high-school career. He's not criminal
Sophie: Um...
Parker: Yeah, he is.
Sophie: Don't think about that.
Eliot: Not a bad criminal.
Hardison: Hey, what makes you think I got bullied in high school?
Eliot: Well, "A," you got a Green Hornet doll.
Hardison: First, it's a limited edition action figure. Second it is Green Lantern.
Eliot: Wow.
Hardison: Educate yourself. Now pay attention.
Parker: Hey. Nate just gave his passwords.
Hardison: No, but I got all his passwords. You want to see his Netflix queue? He's got like every season of Rockford Files... every season of Sex and the City, that show, Psych.
Nate: Whoa , whoa, whoa, you locked me in a closet and now you're trying to kill my friend doucherman over here. I am starting not to like you.
Nikki: They only paid me to deliver one body, get out of my way.
Nate: Just wait 3 seconds.
Nikki: Why?
Nate: That's why. (Parker hits her with a tazer from behind)
Hardison: He is the CEO of Dubertech. Back in the 90s he wrote the book on database security and I mean literally wrote "the book" (Holds up the book).
Season 3 ep 3
Sophie: Someone explain to me, what the hell is a Steranko?
Hardison: Steranko's the toughest security system in the world, in the universe, in the multiverse, whatever.
Eliot: How do you not know this?
Sophie: I am a grifter. If I'm doing my job right then the mark just, click, turns off the alarm for me.
Sophie: Well, quiet and sneaky is fine if you're thinking like a thief. Thieves find entrances, but grifters...mhm mhm...we make them.
Nate: Are we ever gonna talk about that kiss?
Sophie: Kiss?
Nate: Yeah.
Sophie: Oh, I don't remember a kiss. I remember a slap.
Nate: Mm.
Sophie: You're still working off the slap.
Nate: Let's go steal a Parker.
Parker: What's "sexting"?
Eliot: I'm not having this conversation with you, Parker.
Parker: It's not an ASCII code it's a shell code.
Eliot: That's great! You're Awesome! Let's go!
Archie: You know there are days I regret......
Parker: It's ok, I would not have fit in with the family.
Archie: Now you have gone out and made your own.
Archie: So tell me Nate, what color is your hat these days? Black or white?
Nate: Ok, let's go steal ourselves a Parker.