Fëa/Ner Goodness
So, anyone having anything to do with the Elves will realize how UTTERLY STUPID Fëanor and Nerdanel have been being. If not, here is that stupidity. And then, finally, there is a resolution, thanks to one Peril Mulciber. This begins right after this log: The Assault on Sauron and is connected to the events here: Nerdanel and Sauron's Conversation during said Assault.
[Mulciber] *APP'D*
[Nerdanel] *sits heavily in a chair, her manners rather shot at this point*
[Mulciber] *shakes his head and pats the couch next to him*
[Nerdanel] *moves over, then*
[Mulciber] *wraps his arms around her gently*
[Nerdanel] Well...to explain the easy way, I have rather been a captive the last- *realizes she doesn't know the exact time* ...for a short while.
[Mulciber] ... Well fuck.
[Nerdanel] ... well, yes.
[Mulciber] ... Who? /Why/?
[Nerdanel] Sauron. To cause an uproar in my family, I suppose.
[Mulciber] ... Oh dear.
[Mulciber] ... Why is there blood on your skirt...?
[Nerdanel] ... *pales a little and looks down at the bundle* ... Sauron...attacked my eldest.
[Mulciber] ....................... Show me.
[Nerdanel] ... *unwraps Mai's hand, but won't look at it*
[Mulciber] ... Do you wish me to preserve this for you? *picks it up almost reverently and examines it, seeing how it was severed*
[Angrod] [[Mae: *...thinks this is rather disturbing*]]
[Nerdanel] ... I ... *trying not to freak out at the way he's handling it, and rather failing*
[Mulciber] *is... used to this kind of thing* ... Hm. I'll be right back. *vanishes into the other room with it, seeing that she's freaked*
[Mulciber] Mar: *wanders in and butts Ner's elbow*
[Narcissa] *again, can be here if need be*
[Nerdanel] *is having a mental breakdown, hi*
[Narcissa] *...is that a yes?*
[Mulciber] *freezes it magically. Not with ice. Just time.* *and wraps it in a towel, puts it in a box, and cleans everything* *returns and hugs her tightly* I'm sorry, darling.
[Nerdanel] *I think so*
[Nerdanel] ...I need to take it to Irmo. *hurrah, coherent thought*
[Mulciber] What I did should make it easier. It will be all right. *kisses her hair*
[Nerdanel] *nods mutely*
[Narcissa] *um.... so should come in, then?*
[Mulciber] ... *keeps cuddling, feeling rather at a loss* *rubs her back gently* Is your son all right?
[Mulciber] *YES. IS UNCOMFORTABLE*
[Nerdanel] No. His love was mostly killed in the assault.
[Narcissa] *wanders through, on her way to the kitchen for... um... tea. yes*
[Mulciber] ... Oh, sweetie... I'm sorry... Is there anything I could do to help?
[Narcissa] .....Lady?
[Nerdanel] ...no...no, I will be alright... *presses the heels of her hands to her eyes*
[Mulciber] ... *beckons to C and holds her tight* No you won't. Talk to me.
[Mulciber] You're /not/ all right.
[Narcissa] *kneels beside her, worried as all hell* Lady, what's wrong?
[Nerdanel] *drops her hands* ...hello, Narcissa.
[Narcissa] *gently wipes her cheeks* Oh, Lady...
[Mulciber] *cuddles her*
[Nerdanel] *leans against him, feeling like apologizing for upsetting them, but not quite getting the words out*
[Mulciber] *holds*
[Narcissa] *looks at M in alarm*
[Mulciber] .. *is just as alarmed* *pretty much hands her to C, and goes to make a soothing tea*
[Nerdanel] *is just going to be rather quiet, thanks*
[Narcissa] *gently strokes her cheek* Lady, do you want to talk about it?
[Narcissa] *gently strokes her cheek* Lady, do you want to talk about it?
[Mulciber] *returns with a tea with a few drops of potion added to calm her and relax her a bit* *offers it to her*
[Nerdanel] It...there is not much to say. *takes the tea in both hands*
[Narcissa] *softly* Go on, drink.
[Mulciber] *sits next to her again*
[Nerdanel] *does so* *hurrah for magic* *breathes a bit steadier*
[Mulciber] *kisses her temple again*
[Narcissa] *still softly* Better, Lady?
[Nerdanel] *nods* ...thank you. *gives the tea a slight Look, but is not in the position to really think about it too much*
[Mulciber] *slips his arm around her waist again*
[Nerdanel] I should...go to Irmo. And...find Fëanáro... *sounds like she is rather unsure-or possibly almost
[Nerdanel] reluctant- about the last part*
[Narcissa] Are you sure you're alright to travel?
[Narcissa] *so. worried*
[Mulciber] Do go to your husband, Lady. I think you need him.
[Nerdanel] 'Tis not far...with the plot hole. To Lorien, at least.
[Mulciber] ... *nods* *squeezes her gently*
[Nerdanel] *finishes her tea*
[Narcissa] *takes the empty cup and sets it on the table* *still worried* You're -sure- you're alright, Lady?
[Nerdanel] ...I will be. I hope. Can I have... *trails off, looking at M*
[Mulciber] *nods and goes to retrieve the box* It is... 'frozen', in a way. It will un'freeze' when its owner comes near it.
[Narcissa] *confused*
[Mulciber] *'I'll explain later' look*
[Nerdanel] *takes the box carefully, and rather protectivly* ...Thank you.
[Mulciber] Come back if you need anything? *worried for her*
[Nerdanel] I will. *hugs him tightly, and Narcissa too*
[Mulciber] *kisses her cheek* Love you, Lady.
[Narcissa] *holds her tightly* You're always welcome here.
[Nerdanel] *slight smile* Thank you. So much.
[Narcissa] *softly, and SO lovingly* Take care of yourself, Lady.
[Mulciber] *nod*
[Nerdanel] *nods* I will...can...can you take me back, Peril?
[Mulciber] Of course, Lady. *wraps an arm around her waist*
[Nerdanel] *holds onto his arm tightly*
[Mulciber] *to C* Back in a moment, lover. *and disapparates* *drops her off and comes right back, that okay, Gabe?*
[Nerdanel] *perfectly!*
[Narcissa] *waiting, pacing worriedly*
[Mulciber] *and- back*
[Narcissa] *practically tackles him*
[Mulciber] *holds her tightly* Whoa, love.
[Narcissa] issheok?
[Mulciber] I don't know.
[Narcissa] *near tears* What -happened-?
[Mulciber] Calm down, sweetie... *pulls her gently to the couch and sits down with her* She was kidnapped and her son was hurt. His hand was in that box.
[Narcissa] *loves. Ner. so. much.*
[Narcissa] *gasps, eyes wide* No...
[Mulciber] It'll be okay.
[Narcissa] *crying without even realizing it*
[Mulciber] *kisses her cheeks* Sweetie...
[Narcissa] *clings to him*
[Mulciber] It's okay... she'll be okay... *clingcuddle*
[Narcissa] *almost frantic/panicked* When... -who-?
[Mulciber] What, love?
[Mulciber] *SOOTHES*
[Narcissa] *struggles to speak* Whodidit?
[Nerdanel] *cuddles Cissa*
[Mulciber] Someone named Sauron. *pulls out his wand and uses a charm that should relax her and calm her a little- likes this charm*
[Narcissa] *calms down a little, then slowly stands up* ....I'm going to kill him. *dead. serious. and this is the woman who hates it when murder is even MENTIONED*
[Nerdanel] Tyelko ...already taken care of.
[Narcissa] Cissa *doesn't know this*
[Mulciber] ... Lover.
[Narcissa] *looks at him* He hurt my best friend *outside of M, of course* and her son. I will kill him.
[Mulciber] Not without me helping.
[Narcissa] *and this calms her down a little* ...I don't want you to be hurt.
[Mulciber] I don't want /you/ hurt.
[Narcissa] *hands on hips* ...then what do we do?
[Mulciber] Let Fea kill him.
[Narcissa] *bites her lip, frustrated* I can't just sit here and do -nothing-!
[Mulciber] ... YOU COULD SEX ME. ... I'm sorry...
[Narcissa] NOT WHILE THERE ARE PEOPLE LURKING. *sits down again, looking like she wants to cry*
[Mulciber] *holdloves*
[Narcissa] *leans into him and -does- cry, just thinking about the look on Ner's face and how she must be feeling*
[Mulciber] *strokes her cheek*
[Narcissa] *then begins imagining it happening one day to -her- son (either one) and cries harder*
[Mulciber] Honey... love...
[Narcissa] *-clings- to him*
[Mulciber] *rocks her gently*
[Narcissa] *very slowly, and I mean -very- slowly, calms down*
[Mulciber] *strokes her hair*
[Narcissa] *wipes furiously at her eyes* ...sorry.
[Mulciber] Don't be...
[Narcissa] *curls up against him*
[Mulciber] I love you honey.
[Narcissa] l'youtoo.
[Mulciber] *cuddles*
[Nerdanel] *so, coming to Fëa's house?*
[Fëanáro] *right. ... lying in bed already. And actuall sleeping.*
[Nerdanel] *will knock on the main door, but if not answered there,
will go in to look for him*
[Fëanáro] *doesn't lock the door, apparently*
[Nerdanel] *or probably gave his wifey-wife a key*
[Fëanáro] *... or that*
[Nerdanel] *finally gets to the bedroom, and lightly knocks on the
door*
[Fëanáro] *wasn't sleeping all that deeply, it seems* *so, torn out
of his fitful sleep* *sits up with a groan, because foolishly leaned on his
bad shoulder* ......who's there?
[Nerdanel] *a bit hesitantly* Nerdanel.
[Fëanáro] *mental flailage, here* ........ what is it?
[Nerdanel] *not so inward wince* ... I ... *not completely sure,
herself* Thought we needed to talk. I did not mean to wake you.
[Fëanáro] *hastily puts on a robe* .......... right.
[Nerdanel] *bites lip, and waits for him to come to the door*
[Fëanáro] *right. right. getting up and going out there, then.*
[Nerdanel] *not sure what to say* *looks up at him, shifting from
foot to foot-and yes, Fëanor, this is a pregnant wife*
[Fëanáro] *very much relieved about THAT, yes, although not so sure
about the wife part*
[Fëanáro] ............. well. Would you like some tea?
[Nerdanel] ....... that would be nice.
[Fëanáro] *nods* *and hurries to the kitchen to make tea*
[Nerdanel] *takes a seat, trying to get her thoughts in some
semblance of organization*
[Fëanáro] *returns with timewarp!tea* *and cups, and small cakes or
something. because has a guest, after all.*
[Nerdanel] *ow. understandable, but ow* Thank you. *doesn't have
much of an appetite, but might nibble on one politely* I...I am afraid I do
not know much of what has befallen the last few weeks... *eyes flicker over
his wounds*
[Fëanáro] You are welcome. ....... I'm not sure whether you wanted
to know. ..................... I'm so glad that you are alive and well. ...
both of you.
[Fëanáro] *and that should be 'you'd want', really
[Nerdanel] It would be better...if you informed me. All the
information I have is from Sauron, and I cannot trust that. *puts her hand
over her stomach* ..........So am I.
[Fëanáro] *closes his eyes* ..........what did he tell you?
[Nerdanel] Erm...minor pause on that. We're just figuring that
out. [
[Nerdanel] *swallows* A few things...that you left. Came back.
That you're suicidal. ...about what he did to Mai...and the fight
with Tyelko. *looks down at her tea* *quietly* And why you left.
[Fëanáro] *hugs self* ......... I see.
[Nerdanel] ...it is true, isn't it?
[Fëanáro] *stalling, stalling* ....... I cannot say that, as I do
not exactly know just what he told you.
[Nerdanel] *flinches* Then tell me why you left, and I will tell you
if it is what he said.
[Fëanáro] *half-turns away* I had hoped not to have to retell that
yet again.
[Nerdanel] ...please.
[Fëanáro] ... Nerdanel.
[Nerdanel] *rather shakily* Yes?
[Fëanáro] *stares out of the window*
[Nerdanel] *very quietly* ... did you rape her?
[Fëanáro] *leans head against the window* NO. No. Of course not.
I... threatened to, yes. And I made her believe that I would. But I never
would have. I couldn't.
[Nerdanel] *that's actually relief, right there*
[Fëanáro] *wouldn't see it*
[Nerdanel] *scrubs at her eyes automatically* ... good.
[Fëanáro] *not really hearing that*
[Nerdanel] *sets her cup down and puts her face in her hands*
* Angrod is now known as Angy-away
[Fëanáro] *facewindows*
[Nerdanel] *this is Ner failing at decision making, not to mention
communicating*
[Fëanáro] *sighs* ........ I know you won't be able to live with me
any more. It's... well, of course it's -not- all right. But... I understand.
I don't deserve you. ... *lovely cold glass panes, because his face is
burning*
[Nerdanel] I do not /want/ to leave you. But I cannot agree with
you. I do not even know if it is even right to want that.
[Nerdanel] And we keep getting into these messes... *realizes she's
thinking outloud and shuts up*
[Fëanáro] *doesn't reply, because what -could- he reply?*
[Nerdanel] *makes a frustrated noise, more at herself than him* Is
this what our love is doomed to? Either being apart and pretending we do not
give a damn about each other or together in a horrible cycle of being
perfect and then teetering on the edge of self destruction?
[Fëanáro] ..... I do not know.
[Nerdanel] *sighs, sitting back wearily and watching him*
[Fëanáro] *isn't very interesting, really*
[Nerdanel] *more interesting than the woodgrain of the table, dear*
[Fëanáro] *.... if you say so*
[Nerdanel] *closes her eyes* I should let you sleep. We are not
getting anywhere.
[Fëanáro] *hoarsely* I cannot sleep now anyway. If there is
something you wish to say, let it be now.
[Nerdanel] That is the problem. I have nothing to say because I do
not know what to do.
[Fëanáro] Then let us find out now.
[Nerdanel] Very well. ...
[Fëanáro] *stays where he is, though*
[Nerdanel] How exactly to you propose doing that?
[Nerdanel] *apologies for the crankiness; she should not have
started this conversation on little food, no sleep, and a mental meltdown or
two*
[Fëanáro] *offered food, at least...?*
[Nerdanel] *well, yes. if she'd eat it. but being given your son's
hand doesn't do much for an appetite*
[Fëanáro] *sighs* I do not know.
[Nerdanel] *stands and starts to pace, just so she can feel she is
doing -something-*
[Fëanáro] *stands completely still in contrast, hands clasped behind
his back*
[Fëanáro] *and really just waits*
[Nerdanel] What do /you/ want?
[Fëanáro] *sighs* What does it matter?
[Nerdanel] It may be a bit more solid than my reasoning at the
moment?
[Fëanáro] *bitter laugh* Hardly.
[Nerdanel] Then we are rather at a standstill, love.
[Fëanáro] *winces*
[Nerdanel] *sighs and sits back down*
[Fëanáro] Of -course- what I want is that you stay with me. I need
you. But you know that. And I know I cannot demand that. Not anymore.
[Fëanáro] So all I want is that I know what will happen. There's no
point to dragging it out; that'll only make it worse.
[Nerdanel] Here's where I am, Fëanáro:
[Fëanáro] For now.
[Nerdanel] I'm rather horrified by your actions, but glad they
were not worse; I'm terrified of going back to the way we were before I left
you in Aman, while at the same time dreading spending that time apart all
over; I can't console my conscience, and I love you.
[Fëanáro] *still motionless* ...
[Nerdanel] And I am tired and in a foul mood, but you probably
noticed that already.
[Fëanáro] I understand.
[Nerdanel] *rubs temples and waits, not even sure what for*
[Fëanáro] *doesn't know either* *still staring out into the night*
[Fëanáro] ... I'm sorry. But you know that as well.
[Nerdanel] I do...but thank you.
[Fëanáro] *nods*
[Nerdanel] *switching subjects, hi* Did Findekáno...?
[Fëanáro] ....... Irmo said he wasn't entirely dead.
[Nerdanel] ........ I suppose that is...good?
[Fëanáro] I suppose so, if he can be healed.
[Nerdanel] Let us hope so...
[Fëanáro] oh, I do.
[Nerdanel] *nods quietly*
[Fëanáro] *not seeing*
[Fëanáro] *sighs*
[Nerdanel] ...I should go sort myself out. I am rather just
agitating the situation at this point with no gain. *stands*
[Fëanáro] *quietly* As you wish.
[Fëanáro] I- I can leave again. So you won't have to... compromise
yourself. And the children will stay with you. ...
[Nerdanel] No. No. I will be fine. I doubt the children would want
to deal with me right now. *wry smile*
[Fëanáro] That's not the point.
[Nerdanel] Perhaps not. But I do not wish you to Exile yourself
again. It would upset everyone more, I think, and not be good for you.
[Fëanáro] *.... nice cold glass* ............
[Nerdanel] *sighs* Take -care- of yourself, whatever you think you
deserve, Fëanáro.
[Fëanáro] ................. as you wish.
[Fëanáro] It was not -me- that got abducted by Sauron.
[Nerdanel] ......thank you. *turns to go*
[Nerdanel] It was not -I- who was asking people to kill me.
[Fëanáro] .... take care, too.
[Fëanáro] cause and effect, love.
[Nerdanel] And who caused the first effect, dearest?
[Nerdanel] .... I will. Good night.
[Fëanáro] *nods wearily* The same to you.
[Nerdanel] *nods in return and leaves*
[Fëanáro] *right. Has, apparently, resisted the urge to run after
her*
[Nerdanel] *awww, Fëa*
[Fëanáro] *:p*
[Nerdanel] *Well :P to you too.*
[Fëanáro] *flail*
[Nerdanel] *That was the typist, not your lady. *pat**
[Fëanáro] *... oh. good.*
[Indis] *has... come looking for Ner, not having seen her in a while?*
[Nerdanel] *will be in her room, having tried and failed at the whole sleeping thing*
[Indis] *knocks at the door*
[Nerdanel] *jumps* *gets up and opens the door* ...Indis! *surprised*
[Indis] *sigh of relief* Nerdanel. Where have you been?
[Nerdanel] *pause* Well... *decides not to beat around the bush* I have spent the last two weeks, if my count is right, as a captive. Come in and have some tea.
[Indis] *sharp intake of breath, here* *follows her in, though* Are you alright? Hurt?
[Nerdanel] *shakes head* I was not hurt. As for alright, that is still pending.
[Indis] *bites lip* What happened?
[Nerdanel] Sauron. *sighs, starting the tea*
[Indis] *wince* *but listens*
[Nerdanel] I...I was upset by Fëanáro and came to find you...but found him instead, and he locked me up, most likely so he could use my form without immediate consequence.
[Nerdanel] Apparently he has been causing quite a bit of trouble, on top of what my family seems to do on their own.
[Indis] *closes eyes* You are unharmed. What of the others?
[Nerdanel] Fëa is...a mess, I suppose would be the easiest way to put it. Findekáno has been seriously wounded. Maitimo - *grits teeth and makes herself say it* Lost a hand. I do not know what tolls there have been elsewhere.
[Indis] [[Sauron: *actually has very little to do with Fëa being a mess, thanks*]]
[Nerdanel] [[Ner: *one, doesn't know that. two, he didn't start trying to kill himself -until- you told him that I'd lost my baby*]]
[Indis] [[Sauron: *point taken*]]
[Indis] ...Oh, Nerdanel. *hugs her* I'm so sorry.
[Nerdanel] *hugs her tightly* It is not your fault.
[Indis] I know. I know. *pulls back after a moment to study her* It may be late, but you were seeking me out. May I still help there?
[Nerdanel] *sighs* Perhaps, as I really have no idea what I am going to do, now.
[Indis] *bites lip -- where'd you pick that up, woman?* About what?
[Nerdanel] *from about everyone else here?* ...Fëa. *rubs her eyes with the heel of her hand* Big surprise there.
[Indis] *well, really, they probably picked it up/inherited it from her* ...*gets the pot of water and pours them both tea* Sit. What's happened?
[Nerdanel] *pfft, logic* ...he's...a woman named Bellatrix Lestrange attacked Irissë. And he...broke his promise to me.
[Indis] ..What sort of promise?
[Nerdanel] *winces* He...when I first came here...Armand was raped. And...Fëanáro tortured the rapist. I made him promise to me not to do it again.
[Indis] *flinches* And... he has?
[Nerdanel] ...yes. *not going to mention the threatening to rape thing, hi*
[Nerdanel] And...he Exiled himself for it...then came back at some point...I have heard that he is -suicidal.- And...I do not know what to do about any of it.
[Indis] *that may be just as well* *closes eyes, processing this* What do you wish you could do, ideally?
[Nerdanel] *dryly* Make it all so it never happened? *sighs* I am sorry, I am being childish.
[Indis] *shakes head* No. We all wish that. *sighs* There was a point, before, when you told him 'enough'. Are you able to bring yourself to that again?
[Nerdanel] I...Yes I could. Yet I do not find myself -wanting- to, even though...even thought it might be the wiser course.
[Indis] *chews on her lip* I would say, that you deserve some peace. Yet, as unpredictable, as fey, as Fëanaro may be... would you find it, away from him?
[Nerdanel] ...from...experienece, I am not exaclty sure if peace is abtainable either which way.
[Indis] *rubs temples* I know. And you will have to choose between the two imperfections.
[Nerdanel] *puts her hand on Indis's* I am sorry. I did not mean to drag you into this and upset you.
[Indis] *takes Ner's hand and squeezes it, smiling slightly* I only wish you to be happy.
[Nerdanel] *squeezes in return* Yes, well...thank you.
[Indis] *sighs* What course you take must be by your own choice, and no one else's. But may I tell you what I think?
[Nerdanel] Always.
[Indis] *smiles a little at that* Neither road will bring you total peace or happiness. But away from him you will find more bitterness and regret. For all his faults, Nerdanel, you love him, and you will find joy with him beside the pain. And... it would be a grievous hurt were your child to be born and raised without one of her parents.
[Nerdanel] *nods, closing her eyes and thinking about this*
[Indis] *watches her, with the lip-biting, second-guessing herself a fair bit**
[Nerdanel] ... *hugs Indis tightly* Thank you.
[Indis] *hugs back* Do as you must, dear.
[Nerdanel] *smiles at her* You are a blessing.
[Indis] *smiles back, hands on her shoulders* I am your friend. *kisses her forehead* Blessings be upon you.
[Nerdanel] And a good one at that. To you as well.
[Nerdanel] *leads way out, hurrah*
[Fëanáro] *follows meekly*
[Nerdanel] ...I have made my decision.
[Fëanáro] .................... *waits for the inevitable doom*
[Nerdanel] *takes a deep breath* I am tired of forever wondering if I am going to 'have' to leave you, and no doubt it is much worse for you. I am not going to leave you. And I am not going to put conditions on it. I love you and thus I will stay, unless and until you wish otherwise.
[Fëanáro] .................. I see. *the typist apologizes for the unenthuasiastic reply*
[Nerdanel] *is not being very emotional herself, so typist cannot speak* If the time when you wish otherwise is now I will leave you be.
[Fëanáro] ........... no. No.
[Nerdanel] *small sigh of relief* *looks up at him, as has apparently had her gaze on the floor*
[Fëanáro] *might have looked down there too, and may still*
[Nerdanel] ... is there something you wish to tell me? *is actually expecting him to be displeased with her for the jerking around*
[Fëanáro] *is, on the other hand, expecting her to expect some other confession along the lines of just what he did to Bella, or what he did on the island, or that he had Rosier beat him, or somesuch* ... is there something you wish me to tell you?
[Nerdanel] *shakes her head* Nay. That you love me? Though I know it.
[Fëanáro] *nods slowly* ... very well.
[Nerdanel] ... yes.
[Fëanáro] ........ thank you, then.
[Fëanáro] I hope you won't rue your decision too quickly.
[Nerdanel] I hope you will forgive me for abandoning you before.
[Fëanáro] *looks away* ........... it was your right. *and this may just be the tiniest bit bitter*
[Nerdanel] That does not mean it was the best thing to do.
[Fëanáro] *shrugs* *definitely bitterly now* That's not mine to decide.
[Nerdanel] Who is? Yet I would say it was n ot.
[Nerdanel] *not
[Fëanáro] ...if you say so.
[Nerdanel] *sighs*'
[Fëanáro] *again, staring outwards*
[Nerdanel] What do you wish us to do now?
[Fëanáro] I do not know.
[Fëanáro] I assume that whatever has to happen will happen.
[Nerdanel] *looks at him, almost saddened by what she sees*
[Fëanáro] *well, is likely a sad sight, so one can't blame her*
[Fëanáro] *is, after all, rather broken*
[Nerdanel] *tentaivly steps forward and lays a hand on his arm*
[Fëanáro] *left or right?*
[Nerdanel] *right; she didn't miss the whole injury thing*
[Fëanáro] *wise Ner.*
[Nerdanel] *so some say*
[Fëanáro] *is, at the very least, not wincing or anything, so I guess that's good somehow*
[Nerdanel] ...I am sorry. *carefully hugs him*
[Fëanáro] *stony eyes, still* What for?
[Nerdanel] I have hurt you.
[Fëanáro] ... as I hurt you.
[Nerdanel] *sighs* We seem to have a bad tendency to that.
[Fëanáro] *shrugs*
[Nerdanel] Do you wish to continue that, then?
[Fëanáro] ... I doubt I can help it.
* Maitimo is now known as Angrod
[Nerdanel] *drops her arms back to her sides* Very well.
[Fëanáro] *Sighs*
[Nerdanel] *looks into the distanceas well*
[Fëanáro] *and this would be a slightly crazed smile* It'll all be as it has been foresung, will it not`
[Fëanáro] *?
[Nerdanel] I rather think we are past that, Fëanáro.
[Nerdanel] I have much doubt in the claim that we are all fated.
[Fëanáro] Is that so.
[Nerdanel] No fate has ever put words into my mouth.
[Fëanáro] Hm.
[Nerdanel] It is all a way to keep one from having to take responsibility for what they do themselves.
[Fëanáro] Hah!
[Nerdanel] Hah? *turns to look at him*
[Fëanáro] And yet, your husband must have well-nigh crossed Eru's plans, for it is but Eru's fault - or merit, as you wish - that I am here yet.
[Nerdanel] *nearly flippantly* You tried to kill yourself. Perhaps he does have a plan, but so do I, and so does Sauron. Just because he is the most powerful creature in existance does not mean he is unfallable.
[Fëanáro] I did not -try-. I only meant to try.
[Fëanáro] *and please don't break this one any further by doubting Eru's omnipotence, kthx*
[Nerdanel] Perhaps not then, but you've tried. You've asked someone to kill you.
[Nerdanel] *typist apologies for her*
[Fëanáro] ...... well. Yes.
[Nerdanel] *...decides to sit on the railing*
[Fëanáro] *watches her, and there may be some reminder of his old love in his eyes, which are otherwise all leaden*
[Fëanáro] ... how did you hear?
[Nerdanel] Hear of what?
[Fëanáro] ........................................ thatiaskedArafinwë.
[Nerdanel] ... *starled* You asked /Ingoldo?/ ...dear. Come on. If you really wanted to die, /stupid/ choice. ... *composes self* Sauron.
[Fëanáro] .... I see.
[Fëanáro] .... well, I'm not really being myself. I thought he hated me enough.
[Nerdanel] ... I am glad he refused.
[Fëanáro] .... well, I suppose it's not like he had a choice.
[Fëanáro] *look, this may be Fëa as the Valar would have -liked- him to react at the end of the Years of the Trees. As we can see, it's really not much better than Kinslaying!Fëa.*
[Nerdanel] *shakes her head*
[Fëanáro] Well. As it is, I live.
[Nerdanel] And that is what is important.
[Fëanáro] *this would be more than a sigh and less than a snort. somewhere in between.*
[Nerdanel] At least to me. *looks to the sky. mm, stars*
[Fëanáro] *weak smile* ... is it.
[Nerdanel] Very much so.
[Fëanáro] *bows head*
[Nerdanel] *looks back at him, and holds out a hand to him*
[Fëanáro] *tentatively extends his right hand to touch hers*
[Nerdanel] *intertwines their fingers*
[Fëanáro] *not squeezing her hand, because proving that he didn't want her back just for -that-*
[Nerdanel] *gives him a slight smile*
[Fëanáro] *not really capable of smiling yet, but this would be an attempt*
[Nerdanel] *that's enough for her*
[Fëanáro] *otherwise, being untypically passive*
[Nerdanel] *that rather worries her, but she will try not to show it*
[Fëanáro] ....... there's one thing you could do for me, if you wouldn't mind.
[Nerdanel] Yes? *tilts head slightly*
[Fëanáro] .... my shoulder. If you would sew it up. I tried to, but I found it too difficult.
[Nerdanel] Of course I will. *steps off of the railing*
[Fëanáro] .... thank you.,
[Nerdanel] *stands on her tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek* Not at all.
[Fëanáro] *........ that will, of course, give her ample chance to admire the lovely crisscrossing pale lines all over him. ... sorry 'bout that.*
[Nerdanel] *'tis okay. she handled putting salve on M's back after he was whipped, so she should be okay with this*
[Fëanáro] *well, she was rather upset with it when he was bathing*
[Nerdanel] *she was not exactly -expecting- that*
[Nerdanel] *but anyway! somewhere he can sit down and she can sew?*
[Fëanáro] *sure. Wherever you want, really.*
[Nerdanel] *we can just stay in here and say they went somewhere else*
[Fëanáro] *sounds good*
[Fëanáro] *so, lying down whilst Ner is working?*
[Nerdanel] *gets a wet cloth, a needle and proper thread* *pulls a chair beside wherever he's laying, gently cleaning the wound*
[Fëanáro] *trying to relax*
[Nerdanel] *is a bit nervous about doing this, but-* *puts the cloth aside and threads the needle, lah* Tell me if you need me to stop.
[Fëanáro] ... don't be ridiculous. *nods*
[Nerdanel] I did not think so, but it is nice to tell you.
[Nerdanel] *begins to sew carefully*
[Fëanáro] ... *very much with the suppressing of pain and such here.*
[Fëanáro] *lies perfectly still, though*
[Nerdanel] *looks nearly relieved when she finishes and snips the thread*
[Fëanáro] *sits up, carefully only leaning on the good arm* Thanks you.
[Fëanáro] *without the random s*
[Nerdanel] Not at all. *puts the things away*
[Fëanáro] *sighs* I shall retire then, if you have no further need of me.
[Nerdanel] ...take care. *rather wants to go with him, but-*
[Nerdanel] I love you. *gives him a light kiss*
[Fëanáro] *nearly cries at that* *manages to bites it back, though* ............ thank you.
[Fëanáro] *bite. what's with the random s's tonight, fingers?*
[Fëanáro] ........... you know I love you too.
[Nerdanel] *gives him a shaky smile* I do.
[Fëanáro] *closes eyes* Good.
[Fëanáro] *gets up, then*
[Nerdanel] *sees him to the door*
[Fëanáro] *would, as usual, appreciate her presence tonight, although he wouldn't want to do anything but cling to her*
[Nerdanel] *same* *hesitantly* ...would...would it bother you if I came with you?
[Fëanáro] ....... no.
[Nerdanel] *is really more pleased about that than she will let herself show* *slight smile* Than I shall.
[Fëanáro] *ghost-smile*
[Fëanáro] *so, off to bed. With Ner. Will be clinging like a child with nightmares all night, but might, upon waking up, find himself returning to his old self*
[Nerdanel] *will hold him and sooth him as best she can*
[Fëanáro] *.... thank Eru.*
[Fëanáro] *... this calls, actually, for a lot of mush, but the typist really has to sleep*
[Fëanáro] *so, curled up in bed*
[Nerdanel] *curled against him, awake, but not wanting to move until he is as well* *strokes his hair quietly*
[Fëanáro] *will awake eventually, but not move right away*
[Nerdanel] *has her eyes closed, rather peaceful considering the night*
[Fëanáro] *finally opens his eyes* *quietly* ....you're still here.
[Nerdanel] *looks up at him* *softly* Of course I am.
[Fëanáro] *up?* *long, deep breath* ............ I'm glad. *doesn't exactly -sound- glad, but*
[Nerdanel] *imagined they were sort of staggered, but, who knows, typist isn't all that bright* *slight smile, stroking his cheek*
[Fëanáro] *typist has no idea, so you may as well be right* *looking at nothing in particular* *does enjoy the stroking, though*
[Nerdanel] You were frightened I would not be?
[Fëanáro] *sighs* Not frightened. I wouldn't have been surprised.
[Nerdanel] I said I would not.
[Fëanáro] So you did.
[Nerdanel] You believe my resolution so weak?
[Fëanáro] *sighs* I do not know.
[Fëanáro] But you know how... very strongly I tend to feel. So I am trying to prepare aforehand for all that may befall, so that I can react to it without passion. *sounds indeed rather emotionless*
[Nerdanel] I do... *frowns*
[Fëanáro] *no reply, because what is there to reply?*
[Nerdanel] *does not know what to say either* *sighs lightly, wanting to lean against him more, but does not wish to hurt hisshoulder*
[Fëanáro] *has body parts lower than the shoulder* *... that might sabotage the 'no passion' part, though*
[Nerdanel] *wraps her arms around him, carefully snuggling closer*
[Fëanáro] *allows it - of course - but doesn't move himself* *typist is really sorry about his idiocy*
[Nerdanel] *is rather hurt by that* ...am I doing something wrong, Fëanáro?
[Fëanáro] *closes his eyes* No.
[Nerdanel] *sighs*
[Fëanáro] ... but. As you said. We have been caught up in a cycle of... 'of being perfect and then teetering on the edge of self destruction' too often. Maybe if I refrain from passion, we can avoid the extremes.
[Nerdanel] ... including the good extremes.
[Fëanáro] ............ well, yes.
[Nerdanel] ... *bites her lip*
[Fëanáro] *carefully turns onto his back* ... after all, we have just seen where they lead, either way. And doubtlessly a clear and even line is preferrable to that cycle you mentioned.
[Nerdanel] ...I...I suppose. *sits up*
[Fëanáro] *watches her* .......... I disappoint you again?
[Fëanáro] I am doing this for you. Well, for our family, really. But especially you.
[Nerdanel] I know. I do. And I am thankful for it.
[Fëanáro] *nods*
[Fëanáro] perhaps one day I've learned moderation well enough that we can give the... good extremes a chance again. I do not know.
[Nerdanel] I...hope so. But you speak as if this was all your fault. And it is not. I have put flaws into our relationship as well, perhaps more than I know.
[Fëanáro] *flat voice* No.
[Nerdanel] ..no?
[Fëanáro] bites lip to keep it from trembling* Surely you haven't.
[Nerdanel] *rubs her brow* I am terribly unflexible, and that is not fair to you.
[Fëanáro] *snorts* Why should you bend to please me?
[Nerdanel] Because you do the same for me.
[Fëanáro] ...
[Fëanáro] And did you not tell me that you had changed for me?
[Nerdanel] *fusses with her ring a bit, because admiting you were wrong is never fun* Not like you have done for me.
[Fëanáro] *raises eyebrow*
[Nerdanel] *raises one back*
[Fëanáro] *sighs* *doesn't really look forward to a passion-less life, as one may imagine* *but oh well, the things we do for love madness silliness whatever*
[Fëanáro] .... and yet I hurt you.
[Nerdanel] And I hurt you.
[Fëanáro] *shrugs*
[Fëanáro] I should be used to hurt.
[Nerdanel] It does not make it right. And I do not wish to.
[Fëanáro] *grits teeth* Better me than you.
[Nerdanel] *shakes her head*
[Fëanáro] *sits up with a sigh*
[Nerdanel] *looks over at him*
[Fëanáro] *not looking at her, because otherwise that resolve might break*
[Nerdanel] *leans over and kisses him on the cheek* I will go find breakfast...?
[Fëanáro] ......... do that.
[Nerdanel] *nods, with a mental sigh, and does so*
[Fëanáro] *gets himself dressed*
[Nerdanel] *comes back after maybe ten minutes, with various foodstuffs - learned how to make meals sometime in the millenias of not having her husbandthing, apparently*
[Fëanáro] *one should hope so*
[Nerdanel] *sets it down somewhere, whee, and hands him a cup of tea*
[Fëanáro] Thank you.
[Nerdanel] You are welcome.
[Fëanáro] *sighs* *and slowly begins eating, then*
[Nerdanel] *quietly does so as well*
[Nerdanel] *exists, perhaps just off of the main room*
[Mulciber] *wanders in, not seeing her*
[Nerdanel] *hears him and looks up* *slight smile* Hello, Peril.
[Mulciber] *jumps slightly, then turns and smiles at her* Hey. How are you?
[Nerdanel] I am all right. *looks like she did not get the best sleep, though* Yourself?
[Mulciber] Worried about you.
[Nerdanel] ...you do not need to be.
[Mulciber] Honestly, Lady... how are things? *touches her arm lightly*
[Nerdanel] *quietly* Just fine, Peril. Do not worry yourself, so.
[Mulciber] *bites his lip, then hugs her gently*
[Nerdanel] *hugs back tightly*
[Mulciber] *gently* How is Feanaro? *strokes her hair*
[Nerdanel] ...better. A bit of a rough night, but better.
[Mulciber] Rough?
[Nerdanel] ...working things out. And...neither of us slept very well.
[Mulciber] *softly* I see.
[Nerdanel] ...how is Narcissa? I did not worry her too much, did I? *bites lip
[Mulciber] She's all right.
[Nerdanel] Good.
[Mulciber] Something is wrong, Lady.
[Nerdanel] ...why do you say that?
[Mulciber] I can tell... the way you're acting...
[Nerdanel] ...it is nothing. Just...dealing with things.
[Mulciber] What things?
[Nerdanel] *bites down on her lip* *certainly doesn't want to explain that her husband tortured M's sister-in-law* ...we are...working out the flaws in our marriage. Or trying to, at least.
[Mulciber] How?
[Nerdanel] Well...Fëa is trying to...not over react to things. Not be
[Nerdanel] so passionate, is what he said...so we can avoid the extremes we tend to get to.
[Mulciber] *watches her intently* This part of what happened to Bella and Roddy? *knows*
[Nerdanel] ... *wince* Yes.
[Mulciber] ... You know she's grateful to him for that, right?
[Nerdanel] ...
[Mulciber] ... It's true.
[Nerdanel] ...I...oh. *confused, and not sure she wants to know. in fact, pretty sure she does not*
[Mulciber] *actually- ... she might* Do you want to know why?
[Nerdanel] ... I have already put it behind us; I would rather not add to my knowledge of it.
[Mulciber] *nods* *kisses her cheek lightly* Is he all right?
[Nerdanel] ...he will be.
[Mulciber] How is he treating you? *not implying he's being a bastard. Just asking*
[Nerdanel] ...fine.
[Nerdanel] *may have hesitated a wee bit*
[Mulciber] ... Lady.
[Nerdanel] ... yes?
[Mulciber] ... Please.
[Nerdanel] ... it is nothing that important. *shrugs* He is just being...well. Dis-passionate.
[Mulciber] ... Dispassionate?
[Nerdanel] *nods slowly* He...is trying to keep from it...
[Mulciber] ... What exactly do you mean?
[Nerdanel] ... like I said, he does not want us to go to the extreme we just hit again...and rather has cut out every extreme. To smooth things out.
[Mulciber] ... He's gone /cold/?
[Nerdanel] ... 'cold?'
[Mulciber] Emotionally?
[Nerdanel] ... a ... well, yes.
[Mulciber] ... Oh, Lady... *hugs her tightly*
[Nerdanel] ... *hugs back* It is alright...it will work out. We just need to adjust.
[Mulciber] No- no, Lady... that is... no...
[Nerdanel] It is -fine.-
[Mulciber] No it's noy...
[Nerdanel] You worry too much.
[Mulciber] I worry rightly.
[Nerdanel] *sighs*
[Mulciber] ... What else is it?
[Nerdanel] ... *gives him a stern look*
[Mulciber] -Lady-.
[Nerdanel] ... it is not a big deal. He just did not hug me back and I am unsued to it.
[Mulciber] . . . *hug*
[Nerdanel] ... *sighs and hugs back* Do not stress yourself about it, please, Peril.
[Mulciber] I'm so sorry, Lady.
[Nerdanel] There is nothing for you to be sorry for.
[Mulciber] I'm sorry you are not happier.
[Nerdanel] *shakes her head*
[Mulciber] If you need anything, you know where to find us.
[Nerdanel] Of course. Thank you.
[Mulciber] I do love you, Lady. You are a good friend.
[Nerdanel] *smiles* You are as well, and I am more glad for you than I can say.
[Mulciber] As I am glad for you.
[Nerdanel] *kisses his forehead* Tell Narcissa the same.
[Mulciber] I will. I promise.
[Nerdanel] *Smiles*
[Mulciber] I have to go. I love you, Lady.
[Nerdanel] Take care, Peril.
[Mulciber] You too.
[Mulciber] *GOES TO SCREAM AT HER HUSBAND*
[Nerdanel] *FLAIL*
[Nerdanel] [[Typist: *fangirl!*]]
[Mulciber] *stalks out and leans against the railing*
[Fëanáro] *follows carefully, one hand on sword*
[Mulciber] *bluntly, and sharply* /What/ are you doing to Nerdanel?
[Fëanáro] *blinks* What?
[Mulciber] She's /miserable/. What the /hell/ are you doing to her?!
[Fëanáro] Nothing! On the contrary!
[Mulciber] Then what /aren't/ you doing?
[Fëanáro] What are you -talking- about? And what business o
[Fëanáro] *f yours is it?
[Mulciber] I love her. She is a /dear/ friend and you're /killing/ her with this foolishness!
[Mulciber] Whatever you're doing or not doing, /stop it/.
[Fëanáro] I am NOT! *clenches fists to fight down his rage, because hey, we're trying for moderation*
[Mulciber] Have you really /looked/ at her?
[Mulciber] She's a strong lady and you're /breaking her heart/.
[Fëanáro] *grits teeth* That is precisely why I am trying to better comply to her wishes.
[Mulciber] She wants you to love her.
[Fëanáro] I -do-.
[Mulciber] *sighs* What are you doing, then?
[Fëanáro] She complained that our relationship was ever a cycle between great joy and ... 'tethering on the edge of self-destruction'. I understand how hard this is on her. So I try to bring it into a more even course.
[Mulciber] By doing...?
[Fëanáro] *clenches fists* By reigning my own passion of feeling.
[Mulciber] ............... *stares at him* That's /stupid/.
[Fëanáro] *purses lips* It has often been said that everybody would be better off without it.
[Mulciber] You're making her /miserable/.
[Fëanáro] ...... it will be better once I am more used to it.
[Mulciber] Oh, so /she's/ supposed to just get used to it to please you? *eyes flash*
[Mulciber] If you're going to /torture/ her like this, you /really/ do not deserve her.
[Fëanáro] *stares* I am doing it to -please her-!
[Mulciber] Do she seem pleased to you?
[Mulciber] It seems to me like she's constantly on the verge of tears!
[Fëanáro] ..... she said she agreed when I told her of it.
[Mulciber] *facepalms* She's trying to please /you/. She was probably afraid to hurt you by telling you how much that hurt /her/.
[Mulciber] My /God/ you two are stupid.
[Fëanáro] *glares* Then why did she tell -you-?
[Mulciber] She /didn't/.
[Mulciber] She told me of your decision and tried to pretend everything was all right.
[Fëanáro] *grits teeth*
[Mulciber] -How- do you think this is going to help?
[Mulciber] What part of this guarantees the happiness and success of your marriage?
[Fëanáro] .... the part where it lacks the constant downs of her having to deal with my temper?
[Mulciber] And lacks the /joy/ of seeing how much you /love/ her?
[Fëanáro] *grits teeth some more*
[Mulciber] You're /killing/ her. /Stop it/.
[Fëanáro] *stares at M hard with those lovely dull eyes* It is none of your business.
[Mulciber] She is my friend.
[Mulciber] I do love her, very much. She is also my wife's best friend.
[Fëanáro] *grinds teeth*
[Mulciber] If you are going to abuse her love like this, you do not deserve to have her.
[Mulciber] You /need to stop/.
[Fëanáro] *flat voice* I know that I don't deserve her.
[Mulciber] So try to.
[Fëanáro] I AM TRYING!
[Mulciber] Do you realize what you are doing is bad for you both?
[Fëanáro] It's certainly not easy for -me-.
[Mulciber] I know it is not. But there are other ways of /dealing/ with it. I do know you love her and I /do/ admire you for /trying/.
[Mulciber] However, this is cruel to you /both/.
[Fëanáro] *exasperated gesture* then -what- am I to do?
[Mulciber] You are avoiding /extremes/, correct?
[Fëanáro] 'tis what I'm trying.
[Mulciber] There's a /lot/ in the middle before you hit extremes. You're avoiding /passion/? Try /tenderness/.
[Fëanáro] It will -lead- to passion.
[Mulciber] Isn't that better than misery?
[Fëanáro] 'tis, but it shall only lead back to it.
[Mulciber] You won't even /hug her back/.
[Fëanáro] Because I know I couldn't leave it at that.
[Mulciber] But /this/ hurts you both. Isn't /constant unrelenting hurt/ worse than a fit of passion?
[Fëanáro] *shispers* It will get better.
[Fëanáro] **whispers, even
[Mulciber] *more gently* Not if you keep going like this...
[Fëanáro] *turns around abruptly* .... perhaps I -should- just leave again.
[Mulciber] And- if you can keep /both/ extremes nonexistent, can't you keep /one/ under control?
[Mulciber] ... That would be just about the stupidest thing you could do.
[Mulciber] Break her heart more, why don't you. She /wants/ to be with you.
[Mulciber] Even when you do stupid shit like this. She's willing to put up with it because you are worth it to her.
[Fëanáro] *facepalms*
[Mulciber] *would go touch his shoulder right about now if it was anyone else*
[Fëanáro] *wise, M*
[Mulciber] *... doesn't want his hand bitten off*
[Fëanáro] *remembers M, and lowers the hand* .......... is that all?
[Mulciber] Will you consider what I have said? Especially about perhaps managing to keep only /one/ extreme cool? You could use what passion that powers your anger for other things, such as mending things between you.
[Fëanáro] *coldly* If there is -one-, there's the other.
[Mulciber] Why must it be that way?
[Fëanáro] *rolls his eyes* There is no light that doesn't cast a shadow.
[Mulciber] So lack of light is the way to go?
[Fëanáro] *shrugs*
[Mulciber] *softly and earnestly* Please do not do this. I do care for you both. There is a lot in each of you to respect, and you are very much in love. At least /tell her you love her/. Please. For both your sakes.
[Fëanáro] She knows it.
[Mulciber] It does not matter. I know that Cissa loves me, but it means so much to see it.
[Mulciber] *hear it
[Mulciber] Do you not love to hear that she loves /you/?
[Fëanáro] *purses lips* Stupid question. None of your business. *turns to go*
[Mulciber] *near tears with frustration* If you are doing this to punish yourself, /do not make her suffer as well/. *places one hand on the railing, prepared to vault over it*
[Fëanáro] *doesn't turn back*
[Mulciber] *and over the railing and onto the grounds*
[Fëanáro] *and back to the mansion*
[Nerdanel] *exists, probably somewhere in Fëa's house - has apparently decided to actually /stay/ there - and is sketching in her blank book*
[Fëanáro] *returning home, apparently*
[Nerdanel] *looks up when she hears the door*
[Fëanáro] *comes in* ........ Nerdanel!
[Nerdanel] *blinkblink* Hello, love.
[Fëanáro] *this is an unsuccesful attempt at smiling*
[Nerdanel] *small smile back* How are you?
[Fëanáro] *sighs* Well enough. ......... I met Mulciber.
[Nerdanel] ... did you? What did he have to say? *...didn't expect him to go talk to Fëa*
[Fëanáro] ... *looking at anything but her* He told me how very unhappy you are with me.
[Nerdanel] ... I amgoingtoyellathimsomuch ...did not say that.
[Fëanáro] ..... well, he didn't exactly put it like that either. But that's what it boiled down to.
[Fëanáro] Nerdanel, why do you tell -him- but not me?
[Nerdanel] ... *winces* I have not a better idea. What use is saying it is wrong and hurting you when I have nothing to fix it?
[Fëanáro] If it is something that I'm doing, would it not be wiser to tell -me-?
[Nerdanel] I...I just feel like I am always telling you you are wrong and you are not but you seem to feel that way and I do not want to make things /worse./
[Fëanáro] *sits down heavily somewhere*
[Fëanáro] I am trying to make things better, and now everyone tells me they're just as bad. ... -tell me- what to do then.
[Nerdanel] I... *sits down as well* I do not want us to be cold to each other. Can we not work at fixing our flaws without...without forsaking all the good things we have? I love...being with you. I love that passionate part of you that comes from loving me.
[Fëanáro] *sighs* But if I permit one passion to rule, I cannot keep the others in check.
[Nerdanel] *chews on her lip* ...which is why I said nothing.
[Fëanáro] .... I do not -want- us to be cold to each other, either. 'tis painful and unnatural. I did it to please you; if it doesn't, there is no point to it.
[Nerdanel] *sighs in relief* It does not. It hurts.
[Fëanáro] *sighs some more* I am sorry.
[Nerdanel] *shakes head* Do not be. You were doing what you could.
[Fëanáro] And now?
[Nerdanel] ...hold me? If it does not-
[Fëanáro] If you - *oh, to the Void with it. HOLDS.*
[Nerdanel] *--pretty much clings*
[Fëanáro] *yes, likewise* *and these are weeks of missing and fearing and self-hate and frustration, so he clings a LOT*
[Nerdanel] *weeks of being shocked and alone without touch at all has made her quite clingy herself*
[Fëanáro] *and will progress to kissing her hair and forehead and ears and whatever he can reach in that clingy hug*
[Nerdanel] *slight laugh, and - hell with it, kisses him*
[Fëanáro] *oooooh. kissing is good. kissing is nice. We had almost forgotten just -how- nice.*
[Fëanáro] *actually too exhausted-but-exhilarated for actual sexing, but will have to go to bed now, and will be very glad if he can snuggle to a Ner there*
[Nerdanel] *melts happily* *--and isn't leaving, what, are you crazy?*
[Fëanáro] *goooooood. I trust I can leave him unsupervised now*
[Nerdanel] *she'll take care of him, I'm sure :D*
Whew!
[Mulciber] *APP'D*
[Nerdanel] *sits heavily in a chair, her manners rather shot at this point*
[Mulciber] *shakes his head and pats the couch next to him*
[Nerdanel] *moves over, then*
[Mulciber] *wraps his arms around her gently*
[Nerdanel] Well...to explain the easy way, I have rather been a captive the last- *realizes she doesn't know the exact time* ...for a short while.
[Mulciber] ... Well fuck.
[Nerdanel] ... well, yes.
[Mulciber] ... Who? /Why/?
[Nerdanel] Sauron. To cause an uproar in my family, I suppose.
[Mulciber] ... Oh dear.
[Mulciber] ... Why is there blood on your skirt...?
[Nerdanel] ... *pales a little and looks down at the bundle* ... Sauron...attacked my eldest.
[Mulciber] ....................... Show me.
[Nerdanel] ... *unwraps Mai's hand, but won't look at it*
[Mulciber] ... Do you wish me to preserve this for you? *picks it up almost reverently and examines it, seeing how it was severed*
[Angrod] [[Mae: *...thinks this is rather disturbing*]]
[Nerdanel] ... I ... *trying not to freak out at the way he's handling it, and rather failing*
[Mulciber] *is... used to this kind of thing* ... Hm. I'll be right back. *vanishes into the other room with it, seeing that she's freaked*
[Mulciber] Mar: *wanders in and butts Ner's elbow*
[Narcissa] *again, can be here if need be*
[Nerdanel] *is having a mental breakdown, hi*
[Narcissa] *...is that a yes?*
[Mulciber] *freezes it magically. Not with ice. Just time.* *and wraps it in a towel, puts it in a box, and cleans everything* *returns and hugs her tightly* I'm sorry, darling.
[Nerdanel] *I think so*
[Nerdanel] ...I need to take it to Irmo. *hurrah, coherent thought*
[Mulciber] What I did should make it easier. It will be all right. *kisses her hair*
[Nerdanel] *nods mutely*
[Narcissa] *um.... so should come in, then?*
[Mulciber] ... *keeps cuddling, feeling rather at a loss* *rubs her back gently* Is your son all right?
[Mulciber] *YES. IS UNCOMFORTABLE*
[Nerdanel] No. His love was mostly killed in the assault.
[Narcissa] *wanders through, on her way to the kitchen for... um... tea. yes*
[Mulciber] ... Oh, sweetie... I'm sorry... Is there anything I could do to help?
[Narcissa] .....Lady?
[Nerdanel] ...no...no, I will be alright... *presses the heels of her hands to her eyes*
[Mulciber] ... *beckons to C and holds her tight* No you won't. Talk to me.
[Mulciber] You're /not/ all right.
[Narcissa] *kneels beside her, worried as all hell* Lady, what's wrong?
[Nerdanel] *drops her hands* ...hello, Narcissa.
[Narcissa] *gently wipes her cheeks* Oh, Lady...
[Mulciber] *cuddles her*
[Nerdanel] *leans against him, feeling like apologizing for upsetting them, but not quite getting the words out*
[Mulciber] *holds*
[Narcissa] *looks at M in alarm*
[Mulciber] .. *is just as alarmed* *pretty much hands her to C, and goes to make a soothing tea*
[Nerdanel] *is just going to be rather quiet, thanks*
[Narcissa] *gently strokes her cheek* Lady, do you want to talk about it?
[Narcissa] *gently strokes her cheek* Lady, do you want to talk about it?
[Mulciber] *returns with a tea with a few drops of potion added to calm her and relax her a bit* *offers it to her*
[Nerdanel] It...there is not much to say. *takes the tea in both hands*
[Narcissa] *softly* Go on, drink.
[Mulciber] *sits next to her again*
[Nerdanel] *does so* *hurrah for magic* *breathes a bit steadier*
[Mulciber] *kisses her temple again*
[Narcissa] *still softly* Better, Lady?
[Nerdanel] *nods* ...thank you. *gives the tea a slight Look, but is not in the position to really think about it too much*
[Mulciber] *slips his arm around her waist again*
[Nerdanel] I should...go to Irmo. And...find Fëanáro... *sounds like she is rather unsure-or possibly almost
[Nerdanel] reluctant- about the last part*
[Narcissa] Are you sure you're alright to travel?
[Narcissa] *so. worried*
[Mulciber] Do go to your husband, Lady. I think you need him.
[Nerdanel] 'Tis not far...with the plot hole. To Lorien, at least.
[Mulciber] ... *nods* *squeezes her gently*
[Nerdanel] *finishes her tea*
[Narcissa] *takes the empty cup and sets it on the table* *still worried* You're -sure- you're alright, Lady?
[Nerdanel] ...I will be. I hope. Can I have... *trails off, looking at M*
[Mulciber] *nods and goes to retrieve the box* It is... 'frozen', in a way. It will un'freeze' when its owner comes near it.
[Narcissa] *confused*
[Mulciber] *'I'll explain later' look*
[Nerdanel] *takes the box carefully, and rather protectivly* ...Thank you.
[Mulciber] Come back if you need anything? *worried for her*
[Nerdanel] I will. *hugs him tightly, and Narcissa too*
[Mulciber] *kisses her cheek* Love you, Lady.
[Narcissa] *holds her tightly* You're always welcome here.
[Nerdanel] *slight smile* Thank you. So much.
[Narcissa] *softly, and SO lovingly* Take care of yourself, Lady.
[Mulciber] *nod*
[Nerdanel] *nods* I will...can...can you take me back, Peril?
[Mulciber] Of course, Lady. *wraps an arm around her waist*
[Nerdanel] *holds onto his arm tightly*
[Mulciber] *to C* Back in a moment, lover. *and disapparates* *drops her off and comes right back, that okay, Gabe?*
[Nerdanel] *perfectly!*
[Narcissa] *waiting, pacing worriedly*
[Mulciber] *and- back*
[Narcissa] *practically tackles him*
[Mulciber] *holds her tightly* Whoa, love.
[Narcissa] issheok?
[Mulciber] I don't know.
[Narcissa] *near tears* What -happened-?
[Mulciber] Calm down, sweetie... *pulls her gently to the couch and sits down with her* She was kidnapped and her son was hurt. His hand was in that box.
[Narcissa] *loves. Ner. so. much.*
[Narcissa] *gasps, eyes wide* No...
[Mulciber] It'll be okay.
[Narcissa] *crying without even realizing it*
[Mulciber] *kisses her cheeks* Sweetie...
[Narcissa] *clings to him*
[Mulciber] It's okay... she'll be okay... *clingcuddle*
[Narcissa] *almost frantic/panicked* When... -who-?
[Mulciber] What, love?
[Mulciber] *SOOTHES*
[Narcissa] *struggles to speak* Whodidit?
[Nerdanel] *cuddles Cissa*
[Mulciber] Someone named Sauron. *pulls out his wand and uses a charm that should relax her and calm her a little- likes this charm*
[Narcissa] *calms down a little, then slowly stands up* ....I'm going to kill him. *dead. serious. and this is the woman who hates it when murder is even MENTIONED*
[Nerdanel] Tyelko ...already taken care of.
[Narcissa] Cissa *doesn't know this*
[Mulciber] ... Lover.
[Narcissa] *looks at him* He hurt my best friend *outside of M, of course* and her son. I will kill him.
[Mulciber] Not without me helping.
[Narcissa] *and this calms her down a little* ...I don't want you to be hurt.
[Mulciber] I don't want /you/ hurt.
[Narcissa] *hands on hips* ...then what do we do?
[Mulciber] Let Fea kill him.
[Narcissa] *bites her lip, frustrated* I can't just sit here and do -nothing-!
[Mulciber] ... YOU COULD SEX ME. ... I'm sorry...
[Narcissa] NOT WHILE THERE ARE PEOPLE LURKING. *sits down again, looking like she wants to cry*
[Mulciber] *holdloves*
[Narcissa] *leans into him and -does- cry, just thinking about the look on Ner's face and how she must be feeling*
[Mulciber] *strokes her cheek*
[Narcissa] *then begins imagining it happening one day to -her- son (either one) and cries harder*
[Mulciber] Honey... love...
[Narcissa] *-clings- to him*
[Mulciber] *rocks her gently*
[Narcissa] *very slowly, and I mean -very- slowly, calms down*
[Mulciber] *strokes her hair*
[Narcissa] *wipes furiously at her eyes* ...sorry.
[Mulciber] Don't be...
[Narcissa] *curls up against him*
[Mulciber] I love you honey.
[Narcissa] l'youtoo.
[Mulciber] *cuddles*
[Nerdanel] *so, coming to Fëa's house?*
[Fëanáro] *right. ... lying in bed already. And actuall sleeping.*
[Nerdanel] *will knock on the main door, but if not answered there,
will go in to look for him*
[Fëanáro] *doesn't lock the door, apparently*
[Nerdanel] *or probably gave his wifey-wife a key*
[Fëanáro] *... or that*
[Nerdanel] *finally gets to the bedroom, and lightly knocks on the
door*
[Fëanáro] *wasn't sleeping all that deeply, it seems* *so, torn out
of his fitful sleep* *sits up with a groan, because foolishly leaned on his
bad shoulder* ......who's there?
[Nerdanel] *a bit hesitantly* Nerdanel.
[Fëanáro] *mental flailage, here* ........ what is it?
[Nerdanel] *not so inward wince* ... I ... *not completely sure,
herself* Thought we needed to talk. I did not mean to wake you.
[Fëanáro] *hastily puts on a robe* .......... right.
[Nerdanel] *bites lip, and waits for him to come to the door*
[Fëanáro] *right. right. getting up and going out there, then.*
[Nerdanel] *not sure what to say* *looks up at him, shifting from
foot to foot-and yes, Fëanor, this is a pregnant wife*
[Fëanáro] *very much relieved about THAT, yes, although not so sure
about the wife part*
[Fëanáro] ............. well. Would you like some tea?
[Nerdanel] ....... that would be nice.
[Fëanáro] *nods* *and hurries to the kitchen to make tea*
[Nerdanel] *takes a seat, trying to get her thoughts in some
semblance of organization*
[Fëanáro] *returns with timewarp!tea* *and cups, and small cakes or
something. because has a guest, after all.*
[Nerdanel] *ow. understandable, but ow* Thank you. *doesn't have
much of an appetite, but might nibble on one politely* I...I am afraid I do
not know much of what has befallen the last few weeks... *eyes flicker over
his wounds*
[Fëanáro] You are welcome. ....... I'm not sure whether you wanted
to know. ..................... I'm so glad that you are alive and well. ...
both of you.
[Fëanáro] *and that should be 'you'd want', really
[Nerdanel] It would be better...if you informed me. All the
information I have is from Sauron, and I cannot trust that. *puts her hand
over her stomach* ..........So am I.
[Fëanáro] *closes his eyes* ..........what did he tell you?
[Nerdanel] Erm...minor pause on that. We're just figuring that
out. [
[Nerdanel] *swallows* A few things...that you left. Came back.
That you're suicidal. ...about what he did to Mai...and the fight
with Tyelko. *looks down at her tea* *quietly* And why you left.
[Fëanáro] *hugs self* ......... I see.
[Nerdanel] ...it is true, isn't it?
[Fëanáro] *stalling, stalling* ....... I cannot say that, as I do
not exactly know just what he told you.
[Nerdanel] *flinches* Then tell me why you left, and I will tell you
if it is what he said.
[Fëanáro] *half-turns away* I had hoped not to have to retell that
yet again.
[Nerdanel] ...please.
[Fëanáro] ... Nerdanel.
[Nerdanel] *rather shakily* Yes?
[Fëanáro] *stares out of the window*
[Nerdanel] *very quietly* ... did you rape her?
[Fëanáro] *leans head against the window* NO. No. Of course not.
I... threatened to, yes. And I made her believe that I would. But I never
would have. I couldn't.
[Nerdanel] *that's actually relief, right there*
[Fëanáro] *wouldn't see it*
[Nerdanel] *scrubs at her eyes automatically* ... good.
[Fëanáro] *not really hearing that*
[Nerdanel] *sets her cup down and puts her face in her hands*
* Angrod is now known as Angy-away
[Fëanáro] *facewindows*
[Nerdanel] *this is Ner failing at decision making, not to mention
communicating*
[Fëanáro] *sighs* ........ I know you won't be able to live with me
any more. It's... well, of course it's -not- all right. But... I understand.
I don't deserve you. ... *lovely cold glass panes, because his face is
burning*
[Nerdanel] I do not /want/ to leave you. But I cannot agree with
you. I do not even know if it is even right to want that.
[Nerdanel] And we keep getting into these messes... *realizes she's
thinking outloud and shuts up*
[Fëanáro] *doesn't reply, because what -could- he reply?*
[Nerdanel] *makes a frustrated noise, more at herself than him* Is
this what our love is doomed to? Either being apart and pretending we do not
give a damn about each other or together in a horrible cycle of being
perfect and then teetering on the edge of self destruction?
[Fëanáro] ..... I do not know.
[Nerdanel] *sighs, sitting back wearily and watching him*
[Fëanáro] *isn't very interesting, really*
[Nerdanel] *more interesting than the woodgrain of the table, dear*
[Fëanáro] *.... if you say so*
[Nerdanel] *closes her eyes* I should let you sleep. We are not
getting anywhere.
[Fëanáro] *hoarsely* I cannot sleep now anyway. If there is
something you wish to say, let it be now.
[Nerdanel] That is the problem. I have nothing to say because I do
not know what to do.
[Fëanáro] Then let us find out now.
[Nerdanel] Very well. ...
[Fëanáro] *stays where he is, though*
[Nerdanel] How exactly to you propose doing that?
[Nerdanel] *apologies for the crankiness; she should not have
started this conversation on little food, no sleep, and a mental meltdown or
two*
[Fëanáro] *offered food, at least...?*
[Nerdanel] *well, yes. if she'd eat it. but being given your son's
hand doesn't do much for an appetite*
[Fëanáro] *sighs* I do not know.
[Nerdanel] *stands and starts to pace, just so she can feel she is
doing -something-*
[Fëanáro] *stands completely still in contrast, hands clasped behind
his back*
[Fëanáro] *and really just waits*
[Nerdanel] What do /you/ want?
[Fëanáro] *sighs* What does it matter?
[Nerdanel] It may be a bit more solid than my reasoning at the
moment?
[Fëanáro] *bitter laugh* Hardly.
[Nerdanel] Then we are rather at a standstill, love.
[Fëanáro] *winces*
[Nerdanel] *sighs and sits back down*
[Fëanáro] Of -course- what I want is that you stay with me. I need
you. But you know that. And I know I cannot demand that. Not anymore.
[Fëanáro] So all I want is that I know what will happen. There's no
point to dragging it out; that'll only make it worse.
[Nerdanel] Here's where I am, Fëanáro:
[Fëanáro] For now.
[Nerdanel] I'm rather horrified by your actions, but glad they
were not worse; I'm terrified of going back to the way we were before I left
you in Aman, while at the same time dreading spending that time apart all
over; I can't console my conscience, and I love you.
[Fëanáro] *still motionless* ...
[Nerdanel] And I am tired and in a foul mood, but you probably
noticed that already.
[Fëanáro] I understand.
[Nerdanel] *rubs temples and waits, not even sure what for*
[Fëanáro] *doesn't know either* *still staring out into the night*
[Fëanáro] ... I'm sorry. But you know that as well.
[Nerdanel] I do...but thank you.
[Fëanáro] *nods*
[Nerdanel] *switching subjects, hi* Did Findekáno...?
[Fëanáro] ....... Irmo said he wasn't entirely dead.
[Nerdanel] ........ I suppose that is...good?
[Fëanáro] I suppose so, if he can be healed.
[Nerdanel] Let us hope so...
[Fëanáro] oh, I do.
[Nerdanel] *nods quietly*
[Fëanáro] *not seeing*
[Fëanáro] *sighs*
[Nerdanel] ...I should go sort myself out. I am rather just
agitating the situation at this point with no gain. *stands*
[Fëanáro] *quietly* As you wish.
[Fëanáro] I- I can leave again. So you won't have to... compromise
yourself. And the children will stay with you. ...
[Nerdanel] No. No. I will be fine. I doubt the children would want
to deal with me right now. *wry smile*
[Fëanáro] That's not the point.
[Nerdanel] Perhaps not. But I do not wish you to Exile yourself
again. It would upset everyone more, I think, and not be good for you.
[Fëanáro] *.... nice cold glass* ............
[Nerdanel] *sighs* Take -care- of yourself, whatever you think you
deserve, Fëanáro.
[Fëanáro] ................. as you wish.
[Fëanáro] It was not -me- that got abducted by Sauron.
[Nerdanel] ......thank you. *turns to go*
[Nerdanel] It was not -I- who was asking people to kill me.
[Fëanáro] .... take care, too.
[Fëanáro] cause and effect, love.
[Nerdanel] And who caused the first effect, dearest?
[Nerdanel] .... I will. Good night.
[Fëanáro] *nods wearily* The same to you.
[Nerdanel] *nods in return and leaves*
[Fëanáro] *right. Has, apparently, resisted the urge to run after
her*
[Nerdanel] *awww, Fëa*
[Fëanáro] *:p*
[Nerdanel] *Well :P to you too.*
[Fëanáro] *flail*
[Nerdanel] *That was the typist, not your lady. *pat**
[Fëanáro] *... oh. good.*
[Indis] *has... come looking for Ner, not having seen her in a while?*
[Nerdanel] *will be in her room, having tried and failed at the whole sleeping thing*
[Indis] *knocks at the door*
[Nerdanel] *jumps* *gets up and opens the door* ...Indis! *surprised*
[Indis] *sigh of relief* Nerdanel. Where have you been?
[Nerdanel] *pause* Well... *decides not to beat around the bush* I have spent the last two weeks, if my count is right, as a captive. Come in and have some tea.
[Indis] *sharp intake of breath, here* *follows her in, though* Are you alright? Hurt?
[Nerdanel] *shakes head* I was not hurt. As for alright, that is still pending.
[Indis] *bites lip* What happened?
[Nerdanel] Sauron. *sighs, starting the tea*
[Indis] *wince* *but listens*
[Nerdanel] I...I was upset by Fëanáro and came to find you...but found him instead, and he locked me up, most likely so he could use my form without immediate consequence.
[Nerdanel] Apparently he has been causing quite a bit of trouble, on top of what my family seems to do on their own.
[Indis] *closes eyes* You are unharmed. What of the others?
[Nerdanel] Fëa is...a mess, I suppose would be the easiest way to put it. Findekáno has been seriously wounded. Maitimo - *grits teeth and makes herself say it* Lost a hand. I do not know what tolls there have been elsewhere.
[Indis] [[Sauron: *actually has very little to do with Fëa being a mess, thanks*]]
[Nerdanel] [[Ner: *one, doesn't know that. two, he didn't start trying to kill himself -until- you told him that I'd lost my baby*]]
[Indis] [[Sauron: *point taken*]]
[Indis] ...Oh, Nerdanel. *hugs her* I'm so sorry.
[Nerdanel] *hugs her tightly* It is not your fault.
[Indis] I know. I know. *pulls back after a moment to study her* It may be late, but you were seeking me out. May I still help there?
[Nerdanel] *sighs* Perhaps, as I really have no idea what I am going to do, now.
[Indis] *bites lip -- where'd you pick that up, woman?* About what?
[Nerdanel] *from about everyone else here?* ...Fëa. *rubs her eyes with the heel of her hand* Big surprise there.
[Indis] *well, really, they probably picked it up/inherited it from her* ...*gets the pot of water and pours them both tea* Sit. What's happened?
[Nerdanel] *pfft, logic* ...he's...a woman named Bellatrix Lestrange attacked Irissë. And he...broke his promise to me.
[Indis] ..What sort of promise?
[Nerdanel] *winces* He...when I first came here...Armand was raped. And...Fëanáro tortured the rapist. I made him promise to me not to do it again.
[Indis] *flinches* And... he has?
[Nerdanel] ...yes. *not going to mention the threatening to rape thing, hi*
[Nerdanel] And...he Exiled himself for it...then came back at some point...I have heard that he is -suicidal.- And...I do not know what to do about any of it.
[Indis] *that may be just as well* *closes eyes, processing this* What do you wish you could do, ideally?
[Nerdanel] *dryly* Make it all so it never happened? *sighs* I am sorry, I am being childish.
[Indis] *shakes head* No. We all wish that. *sighs* There was a point, before, when you told him 'enough'. Are you able to bring yourself to that again?
[Nerdanel] I...Yes I could. Yet I do not find myself -wanting- to, even though...even thought it might be the wiser course.
[Indis] *chews on her lip* I would say, that you deserve some peace. Yet, as unpredictable, as fey, as Fëanaro may be... would you find it, away from him?
[Nerdanel] ...from...experienece, I am not exaclty sure if peace is abtainable either which way.
[Indis] *rubs temples* I know. And you will have to choose between the two imperfections.
[Nerdanel] *puts her hand on Indis's* I am sorry. I did not mean to drag you into this and upset you.
[Indis] *takes Ner's hand and squeezes it, smiling slightly* I only wish you to be happy.
[Nerdanel] *squeezes in return* Yes, well...thank you.
[Indis] *sighs* What course you take must be by your own choice, and no one else's. But may I tell you what I think?
[Nerdanel] Always.
[Indis] *smiles a little at that* Neither road will bring you total peace or happiness. But away from him you will find more bitterness and regret. For all his faults, Nerdanel, you love him, and you will find joy with him beside the pain. And... it would be a grievous hurt were your child to be born and raised without one of her parents.
[Nerdanel] *nods, closing her eyes and thinking about this*
[Indis] *watches her, with the lip-biting, second-guessing herself a fair bit**
[Nerdanel] ... *hugs Indis tightly* Thank you.
[Indis] *hugs back* Do as you must, dear.
[Nerdanel] *smiles at her* You are a blessing.
[Indis] *smiles back, hands on her shoulders* I am your friend. *kisses her forehead* Blessings be upon you.
[Nerdanel] And a good one at that. To you as well.
[Nerdanel] *leads way out, hurrah*
[Fëanáro] *follows meekly*
[Nerdanel] ...I have made my decision.
[Fëanáro] .................... *waits for the inevitable doom*
[Nerdanel] *takes a deep breath* I am tired of forever wondering if I am going to 'have' to leave you, and no doubt it is much worse for you. I am not going to leave you. And I am not going to put conditions on it. I love you and thus I will stay, unless and until you wish otherwise.
[Fëanáro] .................. I see. *the typist apologizes for the unenthuasiastic reply*
[Nerdanel] *is not being very emotional herself, so typist cannot speak* If the time when you wish otherwise is now I will leave you be.
[Fëanáro] ........... no. No.
[Nerdanel] *small sigh of relief* *looks up at him, as has apparently had her gaze on the floor*
[Fëanáro] *might have looked down there too, and may still*
[Nerdanel] ... is there something you wish to tell me? *is actually expecting him to be displeased with her for the jerking around*
[Fëanáro] *is, on the other hand, expecting her to expect some other confession along the lines of just what he did to Bella, or what he did on the island, or that he had Rosier beat him, or somesuch* ... is there something you wish me to tell you?
[Nerdanel] *shakes her head* Nay. That you love me? Though I know it.
[Fëanáro] *nods slowly* ... very well.
[Nerdanel] ... yes.
[Fëanáro] ........ thank you, then.
[Fëanáro] I hope you won't rue your decision too quickly.
[Nerdanel] I hope you will forgive me for abandoning you before.
[Fëanáro] *looks away* ........... it was your right. *and this may just be the tiniest bit bitter*
[Nerdanel] That does not mean it was the best thing to do.
[Fëanáro] *shrugs* *definitely bitterly now* That's not mine to decide.
[Nerdanel] Who is? Yet I would say it was n ot.
[Nerdanel] *not
[Fëanáro] ...if you say so.
[Nerdanel] *sighs*'
[Fëanáro] *again, staring outwards*
[Nerdanel] What do you wish us to do now?
[Fëanáro] I do not know.
[Fëanáro] I assume that whatever has to happen will happen.
[Nerdanel] *looks at him, almost saddened by what she sees*
[Fëanáro] *well, is likely a sad sight, so one can't blame her*
[Fëanáro] *is, after all, rather broken*
[Nerdanel] *tentaivly steps forward and lays a hand on his arm*
[Fëanáro] *left or right?*
[Nerdanel] *right; she didn't miss the whole injury thing*
[Fëanáro] *wise Ner.*
[Nerdanel] *so some say*
[Fëanáro] *is, at the very least, not wincing or anything, so I guess that's good somehow*
[Nerdanel] ...I am sorry. *carefully hugs him*
[Fëanáro] *stony eyes, still* What for?
[Nerdanel] I have hurt you.
[Fëanáro] ... as I hurt you.
[Nerdanel] *sighs* We seem to have a bad tendency to that.
[Fëanáro] *shrugs*
[Nerdanel] Do you wish to continue that, then?
[Fëanáro] ... I doubt I can help it.
* Maitimo is now known as Angrod
[Nerdanel] *drops her arms back to her sides* Very well.
[Fëanáro] *Sighs*
[Nerdanel] *looks into the distanceas well*
[Fëanáro] *and this would be a slightly crazed smile* It'll all be as it has been foresung, will it not`
[Fëanáro] *?
[Nerdanel] I rather think we are past that, Fëanáro.
[Nerdanel] I have much doubt in the claim that we are all fated.
[Fëanáro] Is that so.
[Nerdanel] No fate has ever put words into my mouth.
[Fëanáro] Hm.
[Nerdanel] It is all a way to keep one from having to take responsibility for what they do themselves.
[Fëanáro] Hah!
[Nerdanel] Hah? *turns to look at him*
[Fëanáro] And yet, your husband must have well-nigh crossed Eru's plans, for it is but Eru's fault - or merit, as you wish - that I am here yet.
[Nerdanel] *nearly flippantly* You tried to kill yourself. Perhaps he does have a plan, but so do I, and so does Sauron. Just because he is the most powerful creature in existance does not mean he is unfallable.
[Fëanáro] I did not -try-. I only meant to try.
[Fëanáro] *and please don't break this one any further by doubting Eru's omnipotence, kthx*
[Nerdanel] Perhaps not then, but you've tried. You've asked someone to kill you.
[Nerdanel] *typist apologies for her*
[Fëanáro] ...... well. Yes.
[Nerdanel] *...decides to sit on the railing*
[Fëanáro] *watches her, and there may be some reminder of his old love in his eyes, which are otherwise all leaden*
[Fëanáro] ... how did you hear?
[Nerdanel] Hear of what?
[Fëanáro] ........................................ thatiaskedArafinwë.
[Nerdanel] ... *starled* You asked /Ingoldo?/ ...dear. Come on. If you really wanted to die, /stupid/ choice. ... *composes self* Sauron.
[Fëanáro] .... I see.
[Fëanáro] .... well, I'm not really being myself. I thought he hated me enough.
[Nerdanel] ... I am glad he refused.
[Fëanáro] .... well, I suppose it's not like he had a choice.
[Fëanáro] *look, this may be Fëa as the Valar would have -liked- him to react at the end of the Years of the Trees. As we can see, it's really not much better than Kinslaying!Fëa.*
[Nerdanel] *shakes her head*
[Fëanáro] Well. As it is, I live.
[Nerdanel] And that is what is important.
[Fëanáro] *this would be more than a sigh and less than a snort. somewhere in between.*
[Nerdanel] At least to me. *looks to the sky. mm, stars*
[Fëanáro] *weak smile* ... is it.
[Nerdanel] Very much so.
[Fëanáro] *bows head*
[Nerdanel] *looks back at him, and holds out a hand to him*
[Fëanáro] *tentatively extends his right hand to touch hers*
[Nerdanel] *intertwines their fingers*
[Fëanáro] *not squeezing her hand, because proving that he didn't want her back just for -that-*
[Nerdanel] *gives him a slight smile*
[Fëanáro] *not really capable of smiling yet, but this would be an attempt*
[Nerdanel] *that's enough for her*
[Fëanáro] *otherwise, being untypically passive*
[Nerdanel] *that rather worries her, but she will try not to show it*
[Fëanáro] ....... there's one thing you could do for me, if you wouldn't mind.
[Nerdanel] Yes? *tilts head slightly*
[Fëanáro] .... my shoulder. If you would sew it up. I tried to, but I found it too difficult.
[Nerdanel] Of course I will. *steps off of the railing*
[Fëanáro] .... thank you.,
[Nerdanel] *stands on her tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek* Not at all.
[Fëanáro] *........ that will, of course, give her ample chance to admire the lovely crisscrossing pale lines all over him. ... sorry 'bout that.*
[Nerdanel] *'tis okay. she handled putting salve on M's back after he was whipped, so she should be okay with this*
[Fëanáro] *well, she was rather upset with it when he was bathing*
[Nerdanel] *she was not exactly -expecting- that*
[Nerdanel] *but anyway! somewhere he can sit down and she can sew?*
[Fëanáro] *sure. Wherever you want, really.*
[Nerdanel] *we can just stay in here and say they went somewhere else*
[Fëanáro] *sounds good*
[Fëanáro] *so, lying down whilst Ner is working?*
[Nerdanel] *gets a wet cloth, a needle and proper thread* *pulls a chair beside wherever he's laying, gently cleaning the wound*
[Fëanáro] *trying to relax*
[Nerdanel] *is a bit nervous about doing this, but-* *puts the cloth aside and threads the needle, lah* Tell me if you need me to stop.
[Fëanáro] ... don't be ridiculous. *nods*
[Nerdanel] I did not think so, but it is nice to tell you.
[Nerdanel] *begins to sew carefully*
[Fëanáro] ... *very much with the suppressing of pain and such here.*
[Fëanáro] *lies perfectly still, though*
[Nerdanel] *looks nearly relieved when she finishes and snips the thread*
[Fëanáro] *sits up, carefully only leaning on the good arm* Thanks you.
[Fëanáro] *without the random s*
[Nerdanel] Not at all. *puts the things away*
[Fëanáro] *sighs* I shall retire then, if you have no further need of me.
[Nerdanel] ...take care. *rather wants to go with him, but-*
[Nerdanel] I love you. *gives him a light kiss*
[Fëanáro] *nearly cries at that* *manages to bites it back, though* ............ thank you.
[Fëanáro] *bite. what's with the random s's tonight, fingers?*
[Fëanáro] ........... you know I love you too.
[Nerdanel] *gives him a shaky smile* I do.
[Fëanáro] *closes eyes* Good.
[Fëanáro] *gets up, then*
[Nerdanel] *sees him to the door*
[Fëanáro] *would, as usual, appreciate her presence tonight, although he wouldn't want to do anything but cling to her*
[Nerdanel] *same* *hesitantly* ...would...would it bother you if I came with you?
[Fëanáro] ....... no.
[Nerdanel] *is really more pleased about that than she will let herself show* *slight smile* Than I shall.
[Fëanáro] *ghost-smile*
[Fëanáro] *so, off to bed. With Ner. Will be clinging like a child with nightmares all night, but might, upon waking up, find himself returning to his old self*
[Nerdanel] *will hold him and sooth him as best she can*
[Fëanáro] *.... thank Eru.*
[Fëanáro] *... this calls, actually, for a lot of mush, but the typist really has to sleep*
[Fëanáro] *so, curled up in bed*
[Nerdanel] *curled against him, awake, but not wanting to move until he is as well* *strokes his hair quietly*
[Fëanáro] *will awake eventually, but not move right away*
[Nerdanel] *has her eyes closed, rather peaceful considering the night*
[Fëanáro] *finally opens his eyes* *quietly* ....you're still here.
[Nerdanel] *looks up at him* *softly* Of course I am.
[Fëanáro] *up?* *long, deep breath* ............ I'm glad. *doesn't exactly -sound- glad, but*
[Nerdanel] *imagined they were sort of staggered, but, who knows, typist isn't all that bright* *slight smile, stroking his cheek*
[Fëanáro] *typist has no idea, so you may as well be right* *looking at nothing in particular* *does enjoy the stroking, though*
[Nerdanel] You were frightened I would not be?
[Fëanáro] *sighs* Not frightened. I wouldn't have been surprised.
[Nerdanel] I said I would not.
[Fëanáro] So you did.
[Nerdanel] You believe my resolution so weak?
[Fëanáro] *sighs* I do not know.
[Fëanáro] But you know how... very strongly I tend to feel. So I am trying to prepare aforehand for all that may befall, so that I can react to it without passion. *sounds indeed rather emotionless*
[Nerdanel] I do... *frowns*
[Fëanáro] *no reply, because what is there to reply?*
[Nerdanel] *does not know what to say either* *sighs lightly, wanting to lean against him more, but does not wish to hurt hisshoulder*
[Fëanáro] *has body parts lower than the shoulder* *... that might sabotage the 'no passion' part, though*
[Nerdanel] *wraps her arms around him, carefully snuggling closer*
[Fëanáro] *allows it - of course - but doesn't move himself* *typist is really sorry about his idiocy*
[Nerdanel] *is rather hurt by that* ...am I doing something wrong, Fëanáro?
[Fëanáro] *closes his eyes* No.
[Nerdanel] *sighs*
[Fëanáro] ... but. As you said. We have been caught up in a cycle of... 'of being perfect and then teetering on the edge of self destruction' too often. Maybe if I refrain from passion, we can avoid the extremes.
[Nerdanel] ... including the good extremes.
[Fëanáro] ............ well, yes.
[Nerdanel] ... *bites her lip*
[Fëanáro] *carefully turns onto his back* ... after all, we have just seen where they lead, either way. And doubtlessly a clear and even line is preferrable to that cycle you mentioned.
[Nerdanel] ...I...I suppose. *sits up*
[Fëanáro] *watches her* .......... I disappoint you again?
[Fëanáro] I am doing this for you. Well, for our family, really. But especially you.
[Nerdanel] I know. I do. And I am thankful for it.
[Fëanáro] *nods*
[Fëanáro] perhaps one day I've learned moderation well enough that we can give the... good extremes a chance again. I do not know.
[Nerdanel] I...hope so. But you speak as if this was all your fault. And it is not. I have put flaws into our relationship as well, perhaps more than I know.
[Fëanáro] *flat voice* No.
[Nerdanel] ..no?
[Fëanáro] bites lip to keep it from trembling* Surely you haven't.
[Nerdanel] *rubs her brow* I am terribly unflexible, and that is not fair to you.
[Fëanáro] *snorts* Why should you bend to please me?
[Nerdanel] Because you do the same for me.
[Fëanáro] ...
[Fëanáro] And did you not tell me that you had changed for me?
[Nerdanel] *fusses with her ring a bit, because admiting you were wrong is never fun* Not like you have done for me.
[Fëanáro] *raises eyebrow*
[Nerdanel] *raises one back*
[Fëanáro] *sighs* *doesn't really look forward to a passion-less life, as one may imagine* *but oh well, the things we do for love madness silliness whatever*
[Fëanáro] .... and yet I hurt you.
[Nerdanel] And I hurt you.
[Fëanáro] *shrugs*
[Fëanáro] I should be used to hurt.
[Nerdanel] It does not make it right. And I do not wish to.
[Fëanáro] *grits teeth* Better me than you.
[Nerdanel] *shakes her head*
[Fëanáro] *sits up with a sigh*
[Nerdanel] *looks over at him*
[Fëanáro] *not looking at her, because otherwise that resolve might break*
[Nerdanel] *leans over and kisses him on the cheek* I will go find breakfast...?
[Fëanáro] ......... do that.
[Nerdanel] *nods, with a mental sigh, and does so*
[Fëanáro] *gets himself dressed*
[Nerdanel] *comes back after maybe ten minutes, with various foodstuffs - learned how to make meals sometime in the millenias of not having her husbandthing, apparently*
[Fëanáro] *one should hope so*
[Nerdanel] *sets it down somewhere, whee, and hands him a cup of tea*
[Fëanáro] Thank you.
[Nerdanel] You are welcome.
[Fëanáro] *sighs* *and slowly begins eating, then*
[Nerdanel] *quietly does so as well*
[Nerdanel] *exists, perhaps just off of the main room*
[Mulciber] *wanders in, not seeing her*
[Nerdanel] *hears him and looks up* *slight smile* Hello, Peril.
[Mulciber] *jumps slightly, then turns and smiles at her* Hey. How are you?
[Nerdanel] I am all right. *looks like she did not get the best sleep, though* Yourself?
[Mulciber] Worried about you.
[Nerdanel] ...you do not need to be.
[Mulciber] Honestly, Lady... how are things? *touches her arm lightly*
[Nerdanel] *quietly* Just fine, Peril. Do not worry yourself, so.
[Mulciber] *bites his lip, then hugs her gently*
[Nerdanel] *hugs back tightly*
[Mulciber] *gently* How is Feanaro? *strokes her hair*
[Nerdanel] ...better. A bit of a rough night, but better.
[Mulciber] Rough?
[Nerdanel] ...working things out. And...neither of us slept very well.
[Mulciber] *softly* I see.
[Nerdanel] ...how is Narcissa? I did not worry her too much, did I? *bites lip
[Mulciber] She's all right.
[Nerdanel] Good.
[Mulciber] Something is wrong, Lady.
[Nerdanel] ...why do you say that?
[Mulciber] I can tell... the way you're acting...
[Nerdanel] ...it is nothing. Just...dealing with things.
[Mulciber] What things?
[Nerdanel] *bites down on her lip* *certainly doesn't want to explain that her husband tortured M's sister-in-law* ...we are...working out the flaws in our marriage. Or trying to, at least.
[Mulciber] How?
[Nerdanel] Well...Fëa is trying to...not over react to things. Not be
[Nerdanel] so passionate, is what he said...so we can avoid the extremes we tend to get to.
[Mulciber] *watches her intently* This part of what happened to Bella and Roddy? *knows*
[Nerdanel] ... *wince* Yes.
[Mulciber] ... You know she's grateful to him for that, right?
[Nerdanel] ...
[Mulciber] ... It's true.
[Nerdanel] ...I...oh. *confused, and not sure she wants to know. in fact, pretty sure she does not*
[Mulciber] *actually- ... she might* Do you want to know why?
[Nerdanel] ... I have already put it behind us; I would rather not add to my knowledge of it.
[Mulciber] *nods* *kisses her cheek lightly* Is he all right?
[Nerdanel] ...he will be.
[Mulciber] How is he treating you? *not implying he's being a bastard. Just asking*
[Nerdanel] ...fine.
[Nerdanel] *may have hesitated a wee bit*
[Mulciber] ... Lady.
[Nerdanel] ... yes?
[Mulciber] ... Please.
[Nerdanel] ... it is nothing that important. *shrugs* He is just being...well. Dis-passionate.
[Mulciber] ... Dispassionate?
[Nerdanel] *nods slowly* He...is trying to keep from it...
[Mulciber] ... What exactly do you mean?
[Nerdanel] ... like I said, he does not want us to go to the extreme we just hit again...and rather has cut out every extreme. To smooth things out.
[Mulciber] ... He's gone /cold/?
[Nerdanel] ... 'cold?'
[Mulciber] Emotionally?
[Nerdanel] ... a ... well, yes.
[Mulciber] ... Oh, Lady... *hugs her tightly*
[Nerdanel] ... *hugs back* It is alright...it will work out. We just need to adjust.
[Mulciber] No- no, Lady... that is... no...
[Nerdanel] It is -fine.-
[Mulciber] No it's noy...
[Nerdanel] You worry too much.
[Mulciber] I worry rightly.
[Nerdanel] *sighs*
[Mulciber] ... What else is it?
[Nerdanel] ... *gives him a stern look*
[Mulciber] -Lady-.
[Nerdanel] ... it is not a big deal. He just did not hug me back and I am unsued to it.
[Mulciber] . . . *hug*
[Nerdanel] ... *sighs and hugs back* Do not stress yourself about it, please, Peril.
[Mulciber] I'm so sorry, Lady.
[Nerdanel] There is nothing for you to be sorry for.
[Mulciber] I'm sorry you are not happier.
[Nerdanel] *shakes her head*
[Mulciber] If you need anything, you know where to find us.
[Nerdanel] Of course. Thank you.
[Mulciber] I do love you, Lady. You are a good friend.
[Nerdanel] *smiles* You are as well, and I am more glad for you than I can say.
[Mulciber] As I am glad for you.
[Nerdanel] *kisses his forehead* Tell Narcissa the same.
[Mulciber] I will. I promise.
[Nerdanel] *Smiles*
[Mulciber] I have to go. I love you, Lady.
[Nerdanel] Take care, Peril.
[Mulciber] You too.
[Mulciber] *GOES TO SCREAM AT HER HUSBAND*
[Nerdanel] *FLAIL*
[Nerdanel] [[Typist: *fangirl!*]]
[Mulciber] *stalks out and leans against the railing*
[Fëanáro] *follows carefully, one hand on sword*
[Mulciber] *bluntly, and sharply* /What/ are you doing to Nerdanel?
[Fëanáro] *blinks* What?
[Mulciber] She's /miserable/. What the /hell/ are you doing to her?!
[Fëanáro] Nothing! On the contrary!
[Mulciber] Then what /aren't/ you doing?
[Fëanáro] What are you -talking- about? And what business o
[Fëanáro] *f yours is it?
[Mulciber] I love her. She is a /dear/ friend and you're /killing/ her with this foolishness!
[Mulciber] Whatever you're doing or not doing, /stop it/.
[Fëanáro] I am NOT! *clenches fists to fight down his rage, because hey, we're trying for moderation*
[Mulciber] Have you really /looked/ at her?
[Mulciber] She's a strong lady and you're /breaking her heart/.
[Fëanáro] *grits teeth* That is precisely why I am trying to better comply to her wishes.
[Mulciber] She wants you to love her.
[Fëanáro] I -do-.
[Mulciber] *sighs* What are you doing, then?
[Fëanáro] She complained that our relationship was ever a cycle between great joy and ... 'tethering on the edge of self-destruction'. I understand how hard this is on her. So I try to bring it into a more even course.
[Mulciber] By doing...?
[Fëanáro] *clenches fists* By reigning my own passion of feeling.
[Mulciber] ............... *stares at him* That's /stupid/.
[Fëanáro] *purses lips* It has often been said that everybody would be better off without it.
[Mulciber] You're making her /miserable/.
[Fëanáro] ...... it will be better once I am more used to it.
[Mulciber] Oh, so /she's/ supposed to just get used to it to please you? *eyes flash*
[Mulciber] If you're going to /torture/ her like this, you /really/ do not deserve her.
[Fëanáro] *stares* I am doing it to -please her-!
[Mulciber] Do she seem pleased to you?
[Mulciber] It seems to me like she's constantly on the verge of tears!
[Fëanáro] ..... she said she agreed when I told her of it.
[Mulciber] *facepalms* She's trying to please /you/. She was probably afraid to hurt you by telling you how much that hurt /her/.
[Mulciber] My /God/ you two are stupid.
[Fëanáro] *glares* Then why did she tell -you-?
[Mulciber] She /didn't/.
[Mulciber] She told me of your decision and tried to pretend everything was all right.
[Fëanáro] *grits teeth*
[Mulciber] -How- do you think this is going to help?
[Mulciber] What part of this guarantees the happiness and success of your marriage?
[Fëanáro] .... the part where it lacks the constant downs of her having to deal with my temper?
[Mulciber] And lacks the /joy/ of seeing how much you /love/ her?
[Fëanáro] *grits teeth some more*
[Mulciber] You're /killing/ her. /Stop it/.
[Fëanáro] *stares at M hard with those lovely dull eyes* It is none of your business.
[Mulciber] She is my friend.
[Mulciber] I do love her, very much. She is also my wife's best friend.
[Fëanáro] *grinds teeth*
[Mulciber] If you are going to abuse her love like this, you do not deserve to have her.
[Mulciber] You /need to stop/.
[Fëanáro] *flat voice* I know that I don't deserve her.
[Mulciber] So try to.
[Fëanáro] I AM TRYING!
[Mulciber] Do you realize what you are doing is bad for you both?
[Fëanáro] It's certainly not easy for -me-.
[Mulciber] I know it is not. But there are other ways of /dealing/ with it. I do know you love her and I /do/ admire you for /trying/.
[Mulciber] However, this is cruel to you /both/.
[Fëanáro] *exasperated gesture* then -what- am I to do?
[Mulciber] You are avoiding /extremes/, correct?
[Fëanáro] 'tis what I'm trying.
[Mulciber] There's a /lot/ in the middle before you hit extremes. You're avoiding /passion/? Try /tenderness/.
[Fëanáro] It will -lead- to passion.
[Mulciber] Isn't that better than misery?
[Fëanáro] 'tis, but it shall only lead back to it.
[Mulciber] You won't even /hug her back/.
[Fëanáro] Because I know I couldn't leave it at that.
[Mulciber] But /this/ hurts you both. Isn't /constant unrelenting hurt/ worse than a fit of passion?
[Fëanáro] *shispers* It will get better.
[Fëanáro] **whispers, even
[Mulciber] *more gently* Not if you keep going like this...
[Fëanáro] *turns around abruptly* .... perhaps I -should- just leave again.
[Mulciber] And- if you can keep /both/ extremes nonexistent, can't you keep /one/ under control?
[Mulciber] ... That would be just about the stupidest thing you could do.
[Mulciber] Break her heart more, why don't you. She /wants/ to be with you.
[Mulciber] Even when you do stupid shit like this. She's willing to put up with it because you are worth it to her.
[Fëanáro] *facepalms*
[Mulciber] *would go touch his shoulder right about now if it was anyone else*
[Fëanáro] *wise, M*
[Mulciber] *... doesn't want his hand bitten off*
[Fëanáro] *remembers M, and lowers the hand* .......... is that all?
[Mulciber] Will you consider what I have said? Especially about perhaps managing to keep only /one/ extreme cool? You could use what passion that powers your anger for other things, such as mending things between you.
[Fëanáro] *coldly* If there is -one-, there's the other.
[Mulciber] Why must it be that way?
[Fëanáro] *rolls his eyes* There is no light that doesn't cast a shadow.
[Mulciber] So lack of light is the way to go?
[Fëanáro] *shrugs*
[Mulciber] *softly and earnestly* Please do not do this. I do care for you both. There is a lot in each of you to respect, and you are very much in love. At least /tell her you love her/. Please. For both your sakes.
[Fëanáro] She knows it.
[Mulciber] It does not matter. I know that Cissa loves me, but it means so much to see it.
[Mulciber] *hear it
[Mulciber] Do you not love to hear that she loves /you/?
[Fëanáro] *purses lips* Stupid question. None of your business. *turns to go*
[Mulciber] *near tears with frustration* If you are doing this to punish yourself, /do not make her suffer as well/. *places one hand on the railing, prepared to vault over it*
[Fëanáro] *doesn't turn back*
[Mulciber] *and over the railing and onto the grounds*
[Fëanáro] *and back to the mansion*
[Nerdanel] *exists, probably somewhere in Fëa's house - has apparently decided to actually /stay/ there - and is sketching in her blank book*
[Fëanáro] *returning home, apparently*
[Nerdanel] *looks up when she hears the door*
[Fëanáro] *comes in* ........ Nerdanel!
[Nerdanel] *blinkblink* Hello, love.
[Fëanáro] *this is an unsuccesful attempt at smiling*
[Nerdanel] *small smile back* How are you?
[Fëanáro] *sighs* Well enough. ......... I met Mulciber.
[Nerdanel] ... did you? What did he have to say? *...didn't expect him to go talk to Fëa*
[Fëanáro] ... *looking at anything but her* He told me how very unhappy you are with me.
[Nerdanel] ... I amgoingtoyellathimsomuch ...did not say that.
[Fëanáro] ..... well, he didn't exactly put it like that either. But that's what it boiled down to.
[Fëanáro] Nerdanel, why do you tell -him- but not me?
[Nerdanel] ... *winces* I have not a better idea. What use is saying it is wrong and hurting you when I have nothing to fix it?
[Fëanáro] If it is something that I'm doing, would it not be wiser to tell -me-?
[Nerdanel] I...I just feel like I am always telling you you are wrong and you are not but you seem to feel that way and I do not want to make things /worse./
[Fëanáro] *sits down heavily somewhere*
[Fëanáro] I am trying to make things better, and now everyone tells me they're just as bad. ... -tell me- what to do then.
[Nerdanel] I... *sits down as well* I do not want us to be cold to each other. Can we not work at fixing our flaws without...without forsaking all the good things we have? I love...being with you. I love that passionate part of you that comes from loving me.
[Fëanáro] *sighs* But if I permit one passion to rule, I cannot keep the others in check.
[Nerdanel] *chews on her lip* ...which is why I said nothing.
[Fëanáro] .... I do not -want- us to be cold to each other, either. 'tis painful and unnatural. I did it to please you; if it doesn't, there is no point to it.
[Nerdanel] *sighs in relief* It does not. It hurts.
[Fëanáro] *sighs some more* I am sorry.
[Nerdanel] *shakes head* Do not be. You were doing what you could.
[Fëanáro] And now?
[Nerdanel] ...hold me? If it does not-
[Fëanáro] If you - *oh, to the Void with it. HOLDS.*
[Nerdanel] *--pretty much clings*
[Fëanáro] *yes, likewise* *and these are weeks of missing and fearing and self-hate and frustration, so he clings a LOT*
[Nerdanel] *weeks of being shocked and alone without touch at all has made her quite clingy herself*
[Fëanáro] *and will progress to kissing her hair and forehead and ears and whatever he can reach in that clingy hug*
[Nerdanel] *slight laugh, and - hell with it, kisses him*
[Fëanáro] *oooooh. kissing is good. kissing is nice. We had almost forgotten just -how- nice.*
[Fëanáro] *actually too exhausted-but-exhilarated for actual sexing, but will have to go to bed now, and will be very glad if he can snuggle to a Ner there*
[Nerdanel] *melts happily* *--and isn't leaving, what, are you crazy?*
[Fëanáro] *goooooood. I trust I can leave him unsupervised now*
[Nerdanel] *she'll take care of him, I'm sure :D*
Whew!