dizmo
in
df_loggage
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Um. In which Hastur has a conversation with a couple delightful 18th centurions on the subject of balls.
PG-13 only if you have a very dirty mind. XD If not.. It's Quite G Rated. Really.
[22:30] Hastur> *flames in*
[22:30] Suzanne> *blinks at flamey person*
[22:31] Nemesis> *Flamey guy!*
[22:31] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *looks up from Suzanne's (pea-green) curls* ....Hello, sir?
[22:32] Suzanne> *hides behind Andrew*
[22:32] Hastur> *smirks a bit* Hey, mortal.
[22:33] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *still brave - for now* *steps protectively in front of Suzie* Mortal? And what, pray, are -you-?
[22:34] Nemesis> *Giggles a bit*
[22:34] Hastur> Not one.
[22:35] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...evidently.
[22:35] Hastur> I'm an angel, actually.
[22:36] Nemesis> ........*Throws a shoe at Hastur's head*
[22:36] Suzanne> *peeks out* You are?
[22:36] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...You are?
[22:36] Hastur> *catches the shoe* I am!
[22:36] Suzanne> Oh, well in that case, it's a pleasure to meet you, monsieur *curtsies*
[22:37] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *frowns, slightly confused* You don't -look- much like an angel...
[22:37] Hastur> *nods at Suzanne and smirks a bit at Andrew* What, expecting blinding bright lights and a big halo and stuff?
[22:37] Nemesis> *Throws the other one*
[22:37] Suzanne> Andrew, Monsieur Metatron doesn't look especially like an angel, either. He doesn't even have wings.
[22:37] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Wings, at least.
[22:38] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *I was expecting wings, at least <-- (dumb typist)
[22:38] Hastur> *flinches a bit* Well, we keep 'em hidden. But.. I'm kinda absent my wings for the time being. Got them melted off by a demon.
[22:39] Suzanne> Oh, that's terrible, monsieur! Did it hurt very much?
[22:39] Hastur> You could say that.
[22:39] Suzanne> Will they grow back?
[22:40] Hastur> Not likely. I might get 'em back, but. Oh well. Patience is a virtue, they say, hm?
[22:40] Suzanne> Oh yes, and I'm sure you're very virtuous.
[22:41] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *only a bit suspiciously, because really, there's only so suspicious an Andrew Ffoulkes can be* Angels have a tendency to be, haven't they?
[22:41] Hastur> It's a rather angel thing to do, although, if you wanna be let in on a bit of a secret?
[22:41] Nemesis> *Sigh*
[22:42] Suzanne> Only if you're allowed to tell. I'd hate to get you into trouble.
[22:42] Hastur> Oh, I won't get into trouble. Really, the secret? God's not really as uptight as all your mortals make Him out to be.
[22:43] Suzanne> *frowns*
[22:43] Hastur> You're not gonna go to Hell for, y'know, enjoying yourself.
[22:44] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...*frowns severely* Angels should not blaspheme.
[22:44] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [Way to temptate, Hasty. XD]
[22:44] Suzanne> You mean like going to see a concert?
[22:44] Hastur> [That's his job! ;)]
[22:44] Hastur> Like I said.. you guys put *way* more restrictions on yourself than you should. *glances at Suzanne* ... Well, for starters.
[22:45] Suzanne> Just I do so very enjoy concerts. I always went to the opera back in Paris.
[22:46] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> And balls, I suppose you mean, monsieur?
[22:46] Hastur> *grins* Oh, balls can be a lot of fun.
[22:46] Nemesis> *Rolls eyes*
[22:46] Hastur> [HASTUR...]
[22:46] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *innocent English dandy, wot?*
[22:46] Nemesis> [XD]
[22:46] Hastur> I'm sure, sir, everyone loves your balls.
[22:47] Suzanne> I do so love balls.
[22:47] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [...omg./]
[22:47] Nemesis> [*Facepalm*]
[22:47] Nemesis> ......*Facepalm*
[22:48] Hastur> *looks near to laughing* I'm sure you do.
[22:49] Suzanne> But I've never seen one of yours, Andrew. Do you often have them?
[22:49] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *thoughtfully* The Blakeneys do have the best balls, you know. Sir Percy's balls are notable. I do not hold balls quite as often as Sir Percy and his charming wife, no.
[22:49] Hastur> Oh, does Sir Percy have very large balls?
[22:50] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Oh, very! *with a quick, short laugh* His balls are the largest in society these days, truthfully.
[22:50] Suzanne> Oh, the largest I've seen. And always so colourful.
[22:50] Nemesis> *...facepalmfacepalmfacepalm*
[22:50] Wolfgang> (... with lace! :D)
[22:50] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Glamourous.
[22:50] Hastur> Oh, colorful? Really. I should see them sometime.
[22:51] Suzanne> Oh, you should.
[22:51] Nemesis> *...yeah, that's it. Helpless giggling here*
[22:51] Hastur> I shall make note of it. Perhaps I would be amazed at the size of Sir Percy's balls.
[22:51] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *courteously* Perhaps you might attend the next one - they do hold them so often, I'm sure an angel would be invited to come, if only to gape at the size of them.
[22:52] Suzanne> *blinks at Nem* Are you okay, Mlle?
[22:52] Hastur> Holding balls is always a rather enjoyable pastime.
[22:52] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Certainly! I don't believe that any but the severest priests have said that holding balls was a sin against nature and God, though.
[22:53] Nemesis> *Really. Giggling.*
[22:53] Hastur> Oh, you'd be surprised.
[22:53] Wolfgang> (... I'm dead.)
[22:53] Nemesis> I'm fine,thank you.
[22:53] Suzanne> But God doesn't really dislike holding balls, does he?
[22:53] Hastur> Oh, God's very much in favor of holding balls as often as possible.
[22:53] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> One might almost imagine that in heaven, the angels hold balls frequently... If it were really paradise.
[22:54] Hastur> Oh, I am *very* enamored with holding balls.
[22:54] Suzanne> Large ones? With lots of people?
[22:54] Hastur> Oh, the larger the better.
[22:54] Wolfgang> (*crying. tears of joy. oh Lordy*)
[22:55] Suzanne> And cake? One cannot have balls without cake.
[22:55] Hastur> ... Balls and cake. An amazing combination, I'm sure.
[22:55] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> One cannot have -too- many guests in attendance, though -- a large ball is best, but too large and it becomes a circus. No more than, oh, 40 people, wouldn't you say? Generally?
[22:55] Nemesis> *Really can't stop giggling*
[22:55] Wolfgang> (I prefer chocolate sauce... I mean hi)
[22:56] Suzanne> [Nem, join the typists]
[22:56] Suzanne> Cake with cream. And strawberries.
[22:56] Wolfgang> (Cream oh God)
[22:56] Suzanne> Yes, 40 people is certainly enough.
[22:56] Hastur> Oh, yes, strawberries are a wonderful idea. But yes, when there get to be too many people, you almost lose track of who's doing anything with whom!
[22:57] Suzanne> Oh, yes. I do hate losing people in balls.
[22:57] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *nods, completely trusting of Hastur by now* *poor gullible Englishman* It does turn things into rather a madhouse.
[22:58] Hastur> Yes, but if you manage to organize well when dealing with your balls, having a very large number of people about can be... quite rewarding.
[23:00] Suzanne> Sometimes if you have very very large balls, pictures are taken and put into the social papers!
[23:00] Wolfgang> *DIES*
[23:00] Wolfgang> (.. that was in brackets)
[23:00] Nemesis> [They were invisable.]
[23:00] Hastur> Oh, yes, I've seen publications with very large balls indeed.
[23:00] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [The amazing Invisible Brackets!]
[23:01] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Do angels read that sort of publication often, sir? [Answer: YES. ZIRA DOES.]
[23:01] Wolfgang> (William: ... not the funny shaped vegetables again)
[23:01] Hastur> [XD]
[23:01] Suzanne> It would be so very exciting to be one of the writers who goes to see all the balls.
[23:01] Hastur> Well, humans do come up with the most *charming* ideas at times.
[23:01] Wolfgang> (William: *pales*)
[23:01] Wolfgang> (William: *gets to go around to all the balls, BUT NOT IN THAT WAY*)
[23:02] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *smiles lightly at Suzanne* You would be most charming at it, my dear.
[23:02] Suzanne> Oh, but a woman could never write. It would be dreadfully improper to do that.
[23:02] Hastur> *grins at Suzanne* I would certainly love to see pictures of you visiting many different balls, my dear.
[23:03] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> But who better than a woman to write on the subject of balls? I'm sure you are quite expert in the field.
[23:03] Hastur> There is nothing improper with a woman writing anything. Especially about balls.
[23:04] Suzanne> *blushes* Well, I'm certainly not clever enough for it. Even if I do enjoy balls very much.
[23:05] Hastur> What do you enjoy most about balls?
[23:05] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> And what young lady doesn't enjoy balls?
[23:05] Nemesis> *Raises hand*
[23:06] Suzanne> Andrew, I still say you should hold one so I can see one of your balls.
[23:06] Wolfgang> (I'm sure she'd enjoy Ha -- *smacked*)
[23:06] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [.........Oh god.]
[23:06] Wolfgang> (... I... *ded*)
[23:06] * lurking has joined #desperatefans
[23:07] Wolfgang> (IT'S A RIKA)
[23:07] Hastur> Oh, yes, by all means, please! Hold one! Why would you want to deprive a lady of the pleasure of your balls?
[23:07] Wolfgang> (... what a thing to walk in on)
[23:07] Hastur> [XD]
[23:08] Suzanne> So will you, Andrew?
[23:11] Hastur> Oh, yes, by all means! Balls provide pleasure to men and women alike!
[23:12] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *laughs embarrassedly* Oh, well, when asked by such a lovely creature as you, dear Suzanne, how could I refuse? If you think you'll enjoy my balls, then you shall have one!
[23:12] Constantine> ... who's enjoying whose balls now?
[23:12] Hastur> *trying not to burst into hysterical laughter*
[23:13] Constantine> *raises his eyebrows*
[23:13] Suzanne> Oh, thank you! *hugs* I'll have to speak to Margot and sort out dresses very soon. These things take time, you know, getting ready for balls.
[23:13] Hastur> Ah, John! We're simply discussing large festive balls!
[23:13] Suzanne> I just hope my hair's back to normal by then. Monsieur Angel, would you perhaps be able to change mine back?
[23:13] Constantine> ... I see. *snrk*
[23:14] Constantine> ... angel.
[23:14] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Whatever you wear will, I'm certain, be beautiful - on you, even a burlap sack would be. [Besides, if you're off to enjoy Andrew's balls, you won't be wearing it for long.]
[23:14] Suzanne> Yes, he is an angel. Didn't you know?
[23:14] Hastur> *grins* Yes. An angel.
[23:14] Suzanne> [Hush! They're not married yet]
[23:14] Constantine> If he's an angel I'm Frank Sinatra.
[23:14] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [Scandal!]
[23:14] Hastur> So, Mr. Sinatra...
[23:15] Suzanne> ....Who?
[23:15] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *being completely not up on his modern references - wrong century, what?* ...Bonjour, Monsieur Sinatra.
[23:15] Hastur> That would be his nickname.
[23:15] Constantine> *rolls his eyes* Nice to meet you. Frank Sinatra. *bows*
[23:15] Hastur> *turns back to Suzanne* So, of course I could change your hair back!
[23:15] Suzanne> Oh! A pleasure to meet you, Monsieur Sinatra
[23:15] Suzanne> Thank you, Monsieur Ange!
[23:16] Hastur> So, what color was it?
[23:16] Constantine> ... change mine too? *has lavender hair*
[23:17] Hastur> Sure! I'll change everyone's!
[23:17] Suzanne> [Cue for Andrew to say something sickeningly romantic about her hair? ;-)]
[23:17] Nemesis> ....change mine and I'll kill you.
[23:17] Suzanne> A dark blonde.
[23:17] Hastur> *snaps his fingers and demonmods her hair back, and also 'Frank''s*
[23:17] Hastur> So, back to the balls.
[23:18] Constantine> Oh, blond, again, thank the Lord.
[23:18] Constantine> ... um yes. Balls. Indeed.
[23:18] Suzanne> Thank you, Monsieur Ange.
[23:18] Hastur> Not a problem.
[23:18] Suzanne> I'm so glad angels are fond of balls.
[23:18] Hastur> Oh, we're very fond of balls.
[23:18] Hastur> We hold balls *all the time*.
[23:18] Constantine> I adore it, personally.
[23:18] Suzanne> It would be horrid getting to heaven and never seeing another ball.
[23:19] Constantine> I'd persish, surely, were I never to see another ball.
[23:19] Constantine> *perish
[23:19] Hastur> Oh, very. Never seeing balls again would be a torment.
[23:19] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *laughs* La! Sir Percy, I'm sure, would rather be damned to Hell than never see another ball!
[23:20] Hastur> Oh, they have balls in Hell too, actually.
[23:20] Constantine> My husband and I, if we could, would hold them several times a day.
[23:20] Hastur> *smirks a bit at Constantine* Is that so.
[23:20] Constantine> It is. We have, in fact!
[23:21] Hastur> Very impressive.
[23:21] Constantine> I think so too.
[23:21] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *blinks at = Sinatra* ...Your...husband...?
[23:21] Hastur> God doesn't mind that, for the record.
[23:21] Constantine> My husband, yes.
[23:21] Nemesis> *Rolls eyes* You're both out of your minds.
[23:21] Hastur> Really, the commandments? More guidelines than rules, when it boils down to it. People just take 'em *way* too seriously.
[23:21] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...*delicately* Madame Fra-...ncine Sinatra?
[23:22] Suzanne> I... I think that's quite common here, Andrew. Alistair is in love with a man as well. Well, an elf. But a male elf.
[23:22] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [<-- trying to be historically ic, here. :P]
[23:22] Constantine> ... no... I'm a man. *blinks*
[23:22] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...*stiffly, awkwardly, and omgred-ly* Well. How - ...unusual.
[23:22] Suzanne> [Suzie's been around DF enough to know better]
[23:23] Constantine> Yeah, me and Ball...thezar. (*smacked by typist*) Hastur was a witness at our wedding.
[23:23] Suzanne> It does seem odd, but I suppose one must get used to it, since it's so common.
[23:23] Suzanne> I, for one, would much rather wed a man *blushes*
[23:23] Constantine> So would I. *shrug*
[23:23] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *still stiffly* It seems that so would M. Sinatra.
[23:23] Hastur> Or at least have a great deal of wanton sex?
[23:24] Suzanne> Oh, 'twould be so wonderful to have a wedding at one's angel!
[23:24] Constantine> Oh we have that too.
[23:24] Suzanne> [......... angel at one's wedding]
[23:24] Hastur> [XD]
[23:24] Suzanne> [*loses*]
[23:25] Hastur> Along with the.. ball-holding? *snrks*
[23:25] Constantine> Oh yeah. That too.
[23:25] Suzanne> Oh, most certainly. Weddings and balls go hand in hand.
[23:25] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *brick-red and very, very cold* Messieurs, I do not believe this is at -all- the proper sort of topic to be discussing with a -lady- present.
[23:25] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [...dammit. that was late. supposed to go after the wanton sex. XD]
[23:25] Constantine> Well, I prefer the balls after the wedding.
[23:26] Suzanne> *ocmpletely didn't hear the wonton sex comment*
[23:26] Hastur> *walks over to Andrew and wraps an arm around his shoulders* Listen, sir. Trust me. Like I said, you humans are far too uptight about these things. You should relax.
[23:26] Suzanne> Of course. One couldn't very well get married at a ball.
[23:26] Hastur> [Won-ton sex?]
[23:26] Suzanne> [.... Shuttup]
[23:26] Constantine> Well there are some ceremonies...
[23:27] Nemesis> [*Is Karin's Wanton goddess*]
[23:27] Constantine> Anyway. My husband holds balls very well, I think.
[23:28] Hastur> *grins at Frank, not removing his arm from Andrew's shoulders* I agree, actually.
[23:28] Suzanne> *feels strangely uncomfortable seeing Hastur that close to Andrew, but has no idea why*
[23:28] Constantine> ... have you partaken in one of his balls, Hastur?
[23:28] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *feels strangely uncomfortable being the Andrew with Hastur that close* I - ah. Er...
[23:28] Hastur> Well, we do travel in the same circles, you know.
[23:29] Constantine> Oh that's very true. Shame You never got to enjoy any of my balls.
[23:29] Hastur> [Yes, the CIRCLES OF HELL.]
[23:29] Hastur> *smirks a bit* You can never predict the future.
[23:29] Constantine> Ah I don't think my husband would like it.
[23:30] Suzanne> *takes Andrew's arm, slightly subconciously protectively*
[23:30] Hastur> No, perhaps not. Unfortunate.
[23:30] Constantine> Although I might suggest that the three of us all have one together.
[23:30] Hastur> Oh, perhaps we'll have to.
[23:31] Constantine> We certainly will.
[23:32] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...*carefully edges out from under Hastur's arm*
[23:32] Suzanne> *walks Andrew ever so casually away from Hastur*
[23:32] Hastur> *turns Andrew's hair pink*
[23:32] Suzanne> *gasps*
[23:33] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ........!
[23:33] Hastur> *winks* Just a bit of a joke. *returns it back*
[23:33] Suzanne> ...............
[23:33] Suzanne> I.... *blinks at Hastur* Wait, I remember you....
[23:33] Hastur> ... Remember me?
[23:34] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *runs his fingers through his hair uneasily, having not actually seen it change, but heard the gasp and seen the shock in Suzie's eyes, staring at it* ...Remember him?
[23:34] Constantine> Well damn Hastur, she remembers you. You're in trouble.
[23:35] Hastur> I'm usually in trouble.
[23:35] Suzanne> *blushes suddenly very very red* Never mind.
[23:36] Suzanne> But he's not a demon, Andrew, and I think we had best go very very far away from here. Your hair... Well, it's very pretty, at least.
[23:36] Hastur> *smirks a bit at Suzanne* You do, then. Allow me to say you could attend my balls anytime.
[23:36] Suzanne> *not an angel
[23:36] Suzanne> *manages to turn even redder*
[23:37] Hastur> [Angel, demon, what's the difference?]
[23:37] Suzanne> [Really XD]
[23:37] Hastur> I certainly *am* an angel!
[23:37] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> If Suzie says you are not, sir, then I'm sure you are no such thing! *takes Suzanne's arm* Come along.
[23:37] Constantine> Just like I'm Frank Sinatra.
[23:37] Suzanne> You're not! You're a demon! A nasty demon who makes people do vulgar dances, and...other things.
[23:37] Hastur> *shrugs and surrounds them with a ring of fire*
[23:38] Suzanne> *shrieks and stands as close to Andrew as she can*
[23:38] Constantine> You made them dance vulgarly? For shame, Angel.
[23:38] Hastur> *looks at John* It was the *Macarena*.
[23:38] Constantine> ... *dies*
[23:38] Constantine> *not really, but laughs really hard*
[23:38] Hastur> *grins* Exactly.
[23:39] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> I know not what this Mah-kuh... what this is, but if Suzanne says it, I believe her. *glowers and tries to stand protectively between Suzie and the fire* *fails, obviously*
[23:39] Suzanne> [XD I love Andrew]
[23:40] Constantine> Macarena. *wheezes*
[23:40] Hastur> Exactly! It was great!
[23:40] Suzanne> Please let us go?
[23:40] Constantine> *starts choking*
[23:40] Constantine> Oh let them go, Hastur.
[23:40] Hastur> Oh, fine. *waves a hand and gets rid of the fire* I must thank you two. You made my night *most* entertaining.
[23:41] Suzanne> *clings to Andrew, near tears*
[23:41] Constantine> *coughhackwheeze*
[23:41] Hastur> *hums the Macarena*
[23:41] Suzanne> *squeaks*
[23:41] Nemesis> *Giggles*
[23:41] Constantine> *coughs harder* Stop, you're killing me, squire.
[23:41] Constantine> *doubles over*
[23:41] Hastur> *smirks and stops*
[23:41] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *scowls, and puts a protective arm round Suzanne* I must ask that you leave us -alone-, demon or whatever you are.
[23:42] Hastur> Surely. But really, sometime, you should ask someone why the hell I was so amused that you were talking so effusively about your balls.
[23:42] Suzanne> *blinks at Hastur and clings more*
[23:42] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...Perhaps you... .... ........*turnsred*
[23:43] Hastur> Oh, I think he *gets* it.
[23:43] Suzanne> Can we go, Andrew? Please?
[23:43] Hastur> Bit slow on the uptake, chum.
[23:43] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *mortified to the point of whispering* Let's - yes. Yes, Suzie, we're -going-.
[23:43] Nemesis> Yeah, really.
[23:43] Constantine> Yeah. Balls. Cock. The whole thing. What'd you think he was talking about?
[23:43] Suzanne> *wonders why Sinatra's talking about chickens*
[23:43] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *hurriedly* Parties and roosters. Come, now, Suzanne. *rushes her away*
[23:43] Constantine> (... *DIES*)
[23:43] Hastur> [*FALLS OVER*]
[23:43] Nemesis> [CHICKENSSSSSSSSSSS]
[23:44] Suzanne> *is rushed away*
[23:44] Constantine> ... *falls over laughing* Bloody... chickens...
[23:44] Hastur> *bursts into laughter*
[23:44] * Suzanne has quit IRC (Quit)
[23:45] Nemesis> *Facepalm*
[23:45] Hastur> That was *beautiful*.
[23:45] Constantine> I'm sorry I wasn't here for the whole thing.
[23:45] Hastur> They were talking about how large and glamorous Sir Percy's balls were.
[23:46] Constantine> ... and lacy, I bet.
[23:46] Hastur> Of course.
[23:46] Nemesis> Colorful, too.
[23:46] Constantine> How festive!
[23:46] Hastur> Oh yeah. Apparently the guy's got multicolored balls.
[23:47] Constantine> He should have that looked at.
[23:47] Hastur> *cracks up* He should.
PG-13 only if you have a very dirty mind. XD If not.. It's Quite G Rated. Really.
[22:30] Hastur> *flames in*
[22:30] Suzanne> *blinks at flamey person*
[22:31] Nemesis> *Flamey guy!*
[22:31] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *looks up from Suzanne's (pea-green) curls* ....Hello, sir?
[22:32] Suzanne> *hides behind Andrew*
[22:32] Hastur> *smirks a bit* Hey, mortal.
[22:33] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *still brave - for now* *steps protectively in front of Suzie* Mortal? And what, pray, are -you-?
[22:34] Nemesis> *Giggles a bit*
[22:34] Hastur> Not one.
[22:35] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...evidently.
[22:35] Hastur> I'm an angel, actually.
[22:36] Nemesis> ........*Throws a shoe at Hastur's head*
[22:36] Suzanne> *peeks out* You are?
[22:36] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...You are?
[22:36] Hastur> *catches the shoe* I am!
[22:36] Suzanne> Oh, well in that case, it's a pleasure to meet you, monsieur *curtsies*
[22:37] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *frowns, slightly confused* You don't -look- much like an angel...
[22:37] Hastur> *nods at Suzanne and smirks a bit at Andrew* What, expecting blinding bright lights and a big halo and stuff?
[22:37] Nemesis> *Throws the other one*
[22:37] Suzanne> Andrew, Monsieur Metatron doesn't look especially like an angel, either. He doesn't even have wings.
[22:37] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Wings, at least.
[22:38] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *I was expecting wings, at least <-- (dumb typist)
[22:38] Hastur> *flinches a bit* Well, we keep 'em hidden. But.. I'm kinda absent my wings for the time being. Got them melted off by a demon.
[22:39] Suzanne> Oh, that's terrible, monsieur! Did it hurt very much?
[22:39] Hastur> You could say that.
[22:39] Suzanne> Will they grow back?
[22:40] Hastur> Not likely. I might get 'em back, but. Oh well. Patience is a virtue, they say, hm?
[22:40] Suzanne> Oh yes, and I'm sure you're very virtuous.
[22:41] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *only a bit suspiciously, because really, there's only so suspicious an Andrew Ffoulkes can be* Angels have a tendency to be, haven't they?
[22:41] Hastur> It's a rather angel thing to do, although, if you wanna be let in on a bit of a secret?
[22:41] Nemesis> *Sigh*
[22:42] Suzanne> Only if you're allowed to tell. I'd hate to get you into trouble.
[22:42] Hastur> Oh, I won't get into trouble. Really, the secret? God's not really as uptight as all your mortals make Him out to be.
[22:43] Suzanne> *frowns*
[22:43] Hastur> You're not gonna go to Hell for, y'know, enjoying yourself.
[22:44] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...*frowns severely* Angels should not blaspheme.
[22:44] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [Way to temptate, Hasty. XD]
[22:44] Suzanne> You mean like going to see a concert?
[22:44] Hastur> [That's his job! ;)]
[22:44] Hastur> Like I said.. you guys put *way* more restrictions on yourself than you should. *glances at Suzanne* ... Well, for starters.
[22:45] Suzanne> Just I do so very enjoy concerts. I always went to the opera back in Paris.
[22:46] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> And balls, I suppose you mean, monsieur?
[22:46] Hastur> *grins* Oh, balls can be a lot of fun.
[22:46] Nemesis> *Rolls eyes*
[22:46] Hastur> [HASTUR...]
[22:46] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *innocent English dandy, wot?*
[22:46] Nemesis> [XD]
[22:46] Hastur> I'm sure, sir, everyone loves your balls.
[22:47] Suzanne> I do so love balls.
[22:47] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [...omg./]
[22:47] Nemesis> [*Facepalm*]
[22:47] Nemesis> ......*Facepalm*
[22:48] Hastur> *looks near to laughing* I'm sure you do.
[22:49] Suzanne> But I've never seen one of yours, Andrew. Do you often have them?
[22:49] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *thoughtfully* The Blakeneys do have the best balls, you know. Sir Percy's balls are notable. I do not hold balls quite as often as Sir Percy and his charming wife, no.
[22:49] Hastur> Oh, does Sir Percy have very large balls?
[22:50] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Oh, very! *with a quick, short laugh* His balls are the largest in society these days, truthfully.
[22:50] Suzanne> Oh, the largest I've seen. And always so colourful.
[22:50] Nemesis> *...facepalmfacepalmfacepalm*
[22:50] Wolfgang> (... with lace! :D)
[22:50] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Glamourous.
[22:50] Hastur> Oh, colorful? Really. I should see them sometime.
[22:51] Suzanne> Oh, you should.
[22:51] Nemesis> *...yeah, that's it. Helpless giggling here*
[22:51] Hastur> I shall make note of it. Perhaps I would be amazed at the size of Sir Percy's balls.
[22:51] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *courteously* Perhaps you might attend the next one - they do hold them so often, I'm sure an angel would be invited to come, if only to gape at the size of them.
[22:52] Suzanne> *blinks at Nem* Are you okay, Mlle?
[22:52] Hastur> Holding balls is always a rather enjoyable pastime.
[22:52] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Certainly! I don't believe that any but the severest priests have said that holding balls was a sin against nature and God, though.
[22:53] Nemesis> *Really. Giggling.*
[22:53] Hastur> Oh, you'd be surprised.
[22:53] Wolfgang> (... I'm dead.)
[22:53] Nemesis> I'm fine,thank you.
[22:53] Suzanne> But God doesn't really dislike holding balls, does he?
[22:53] Hastur> Oh, God's very much in favor of holding balls as often as possible.
[22:53] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> One might almost imagine that in heaven, the angels hold balls frequently... If it were really paradise.
[22:54] Hastur> Oh, I am *very* enamored with holding balls.
[22:54] Suzanne> Large ones? With lots of people?
[22:54] Hastur> Oh, the larger the better.
[22:54] Wolfgang> (*crying. tears of joy. oh Lordy*)
[22:55] Suzanne> And cake? One cannot have balls without cake.
[22:55] Hastur> ... Balls and cake. An amazing combination, I'm sure.
[22:55] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> One cannot have -too- many guests in attendance, though -- a large ball is best, but too large and it becomes a circus. No more than, oh, 40 people, wouldn't you say? Generally?
[22:55] Nemesis> *Really can't stop giggling*
[22:55] Wolfgang> (I prefer chocolate sauce... I mean hi)
[22:56] Suzanne> [Nem, join the typists]
[22:56] Suzanne> Cake with cream. And strawberries.
[22:56] Wolfgang> (Cream oh God)
[22:56] Suzanne> Yes, 40 people is certainly enough.
[22:56] Hastur> Oh, yes, strawberries are a wonderful idea. But yes, when there get to be too many people, you almost lose track of who's doing anything with whom!
[22:57] Suzanne> Oh, yes. I do hate losing people in balls.
[22:57] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *nods, completely trusting of Hastur by now* *poor gullible Englishman* It does turn things into rather a madhouse.
[22:58] Hastur> Yes, but if you manage to organize well when dealing with your balls, having a very large number of people about can be... quite rewarding.
[23:00] Suzanne> Sometimes if you have very very large balls, pictures are taken and put into the social papers!
[23:00] Wolfgang> *DIES*
[23:00] Wolfgang> (.. that was in brackets)
[23:00] Nemesis> [They were invisable.]
[23:00] Hastur> Oh, yes, I've seen publications with very large balls indeed.
[23:00] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [The amazing Invisible Brackets!]
[23:01] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Do angels read that sort of publication often, sir? [Answer: YES. ZIRA DOES.]
[23:01] Wolfgang> (William: ... not the funny shaped vegetables again)
[23:01] Hastur> [XD]
[23:01] Suzanne> It would be so very exciting to be one of the writers who goes to see all the balls.
[23:01] Hastur> Well, humans do come up with the most *charming* ideas at times.
[23:01] Wolfgang> (William: *pales*)
[23:01] Wolfgang> (William: *gets to go around to all the balls, BUT NOT IN THAT WAY*)
[23:02] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *smiles lightly at Suzanne* You would be most charming at it, my dear.
[23:02] Suzanne> Oh, but a woman could never write. It would be dreadfully improper to do that.
[23:02] Hastur> *grins at Suzanne* I would certainly love to see pictures of you visiting many different balls, my dear.
[23:03] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> But who better than a woman to write on the subject of balls? I'm sure you are quite expert in the field.
[23:03] Hastur> There is nothing improper with a woman writing anything. Especially about balls.
[23:04] Suzanne> *blushes* Well, I'm certainly not clever enough for it. Even if I do enjoy balls very much.
[23:05] Hastur> What do you enjoy most about balls?
[23:05] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> And what young lady doesn't enjoy balls?
[23:05] Nemesis> *Raises hand*
[23:06] Suzanne> Andrew, I still say you should hold one so I can see one of your balls.
[23:06] Wolfgang> (I'm sure she'd enjoy Ha -- *smacked*)
[23:06] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [.........Oh god.]
[23:06] Wolfgang> (... I... *ded*)
[23:06] * lurking has joined #desperatefans
[23:07] Wolfgang> (IT'S A RIKA)
[23:07] Hastur> Oh, yes, by all means, please! Hold one! Why would you want to deprive a lady of the pleasure of your balls?
[23:07] Wolfgang> (... what a thing to walk in on)
[23:07] Hastur> [XD]
[23:08] Suzanne> So will you, Andrew?
[23:11] Hastur> Oh, yes, by all means! Balls provide pleasure to men and women alike!
[23:12] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *laughs embarrassedly* Oh, well, when asked by such a lovely creature as you, dear Suzanne, how could I refuse? If you think you'll enjoy my balls, then you shall have one!
[23:12] Constantine> ... who's enjoying whose balls now?
[23:12] Hastur> *trying not to burst into hysterical laughter*
[23:13] Constantine> *raises his eyebrows*
[23:13] Suzanne> Oh, thank you! *hugs* I'll have to speak to Margot and sort out dresses very soon. These things take time, you know, getting ready for balls.
[23:13] Hastur> Ah, John! We're simply discussing large festive balls!
[23:13] Suzanne> I just hope my hair's back to normal by then. Monsieur Angel, would you perhaps be able to change mine back?
[23:13] Constantine> ... I see. *snrk*
[23:14] Constantine> ... angel.
[23:14] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> Whatever you wear will, I'm certain, be beautiful - on you, even a burlap sack would be. [Besides, if you're off to enjoy Andrew's balls, you won't be wearing it for long.]
[23:14] Suzanne> Yes, he is an angel. Didn't you know?
[23:14] Hastur> *grins* Yes. An angel.
[23:14] Suzanne> [Hush! They're not married yet]
[23:14] Constantine> If he's an angel I'm Frank Sinatra.
[23:14] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [Scandal!]
[23:14] Hastur> So, Mr. Sinatra...
[23:15] Suzanne> ....Who?
[23:15] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *being completely not up on his modern references - wrong century, what?* ...Bonjour, Monsieur Sinatra.
[23:15] Hastur> That would be his nickname.
[23:15] Constantine> *rolls his eyes* Nice to meet you. Frank Sinatra. *bows*
[23:15] Hastur> *turns back to Suzanne* So, of course I could change your hair back!
[23:15] Suzanne> Oh! A pleasure to meet you, Monsieur Sinatra
[23:15] Suzanne> Thank you, Monsieur Ange!
[23:16] Hastur> So, what color was it?
[23:16] Constantine> ... change mine too? *has lavender hair*
[23:17] Hastur> Sure! I'll change everyone's!
[23:17] Suzanne> [Cue for Andrew to say something sickeningly romantic about her hair? ;-)]
[23:17] Nemesis> ....change mine and I'll kill you.
[23:17] Suzanne> A dark blonde.
[23:17] Hastur> *snaps his fingers and demonmods her hair back, and also 'Frank''s*
[23:17] Hastur> So, back to the balls.
[23:18] Constantine> Oh, blond, again, thank the Lord.
[23:18] Constantine> ... um yes. Balls. Indeed.
[23:18] Suzanne> Thank you, Monsieur Ange.
[23:18] Hastur> Not a problem.
[23:18] Suzanne> I'm so glad angels are fond of balls.
[23:18] Hastur> Oh, we're very fond of balls.
[23:18] Hastur> We hold balls *all the time*.
[23:18] Constantine> I adore it, personally.
[23:18] Suzanne> It would be horrid getting to heaven and never seeing another ball.
[23:19] Constantine> I'd persish, surely, were I never to see another ball.
[23:19] Constantine> *perish
[23:19] Hastur> Oh, very. Never seeing balls again would be a torment.
[23:19] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *laughs* La! Sir Percy, I'm sure, would rather be damned to Hell than never see another ball!
[23:20] Hastur> Oh, they have balls in Hell too, actually.
[23:20] Constantine> My husband and I, if we could, would hold them several times a day.
[23:20] Hastur> *smirks a bit at Constantine* Is that so.
[23:20] Constantine> It is. We have, in fact!
[23:21] Hastur> Very impressive.
[23:21] Constantine> I think so too.
[23:21] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *blinks at = Sinatra* ...Your...husband...?
[23:21] Hastur> God doesn't mind that, for the record.
[23:21] Constantine> My husband, yes.
[23:21] Nemesis> *Rolls eyes* You're both out of your minds.
[23:21] Hastur> Really, the commandments? More guidelines than rules, when it boils down to it. People just take 'em *way* too seriously.
[23:21] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...*delicately* Madame Fra-...ncine Sinatra?
[23:22] Suzanne> I... I think that's quite common here, Andrew. Alistair is in love with a man as well. Well, an elf. But a male elf.
[23:22] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [<-- trying to be historically ic, here. :P]
[23:22] Constantine> ... no... I'm a man. *blinks*
[23:22] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...*stiffly, awkwardly, and omgred-ly* Well. How - ...unusual.
[23:22] Suzanne> [Suzie's been around DF enough to know better]
[23:23] Constantine> Yeah, me and Ball...thezar. (*smacked by typist*) Hastur was a witness at our wedding.
[23:23] Suzanne> It does seem odd, but I suppose one must get used to it, since it's so common.
[23:23] Suzanne> I, for one, would much rather wed a man *blushes*
[23:23] Constantine> So would I. *shrug*
[23:23] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *still stiffly* It seems that so would M. Sinatra.
[23:23] Hastur> Or at least have a great deal of wanton sex?
[23:24] Suzanne> Oh, 'twould be so wonderful to have a wedding at one's angel!
[23:24] Constantine> Oh we have that too.
[23:24] Suzanne> [......... angel at one's wedding]
[23:24] Hastur> [XD]
[23:24] Suzanne> [*loses*]
[23:25] Hastur> Along with the.. ball-holding? *snrks*
[23:25] Constantine> Oh yeah. That too.
[23:25] Suzanne> Oh, most certainly. Weddings and balls go hand in hand.
[23:25] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *brick-red and very, very cold* Messieurs, I do not believe this is at -all- the proper sort of topic to be discussing with a -lady- present.
[23:25] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> [...dammit. that was late. supposed to go after the wanton sex. XD]
[23:25] Constantine> Well, I prefer the balls after the wedding.
[23:26] Suzanne> *ocmpletely didn't hear the wonton sex comment*
[23:26] Hastur> *walks over to Andrew and wraps an arm around his shoulders* Listen, sir. Trust me. Like I said, you humans are far too uptight about these things. You should relax.
[23:26] Suzanne> Of course. One couldn't very well get married at a ball.
[23:26] Hastur> [Won-ton sex?]
[23:26] Suzanne> [.... Shuttup]
[23:26] Constantine> Well there are some ceremonies...
[23:27] Nemesis> [*Is Karin's Wanton goddess*]
[23:27] Constantine> Anyway. My husband holds balls very well, I think.
[23:28] Hastur> *grins at Frank, not removing his arm from Andrew's shoulders* I agree, actually.
[23:28] Suzanne> *feels strangely uncomfortable seeing Hastur that close to Andrew, but has no idea why*
[23:28] Constantine> ... have you partaken in one of his balls, Hastur?
[23:28] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *feels strangely uncomfortable being the Andrew with Hastur that close* I - ah. Er...
[23:28] Hastur> Well, we do travel in the same circles, you know.
[23:29] Constantine> Oh that's very true. Shame You never got to enjoy any of my balls.
[23:29] Hastur> [Yes, the CIRCLES OF HELL.]
[23:29] Hastur> *smirks a bit* You can never predict the future.
[23:29] Constantine> Ah I don't think my husband would like it.
[23:30] Suzanne> *takes Andrew's arm, slightly subconciously protectively*
[23:30] Hastur> No, perhaps not. Unfortunate.
[23:30] Constantine> Although I might suggest that the three of us all have one together.
[23:30] Hastur> Oh, perhaps we'll have to.
[23:31] Constantine> We certainly will.
[23:32] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...*carefully edges out from under Hastur's arm*
[23:32] Suzanne> *walks Andrew ever so casually away from Hastur*
[23:32] Hastur> *turns Andrew's hair pink*
[23:32] Suzanne> *gasps*
[23:33] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ........!
[23:33] Hastur> *winks* Just a bit of a joke. *returns it back*
[23:33] Suzanne> ...............
[23:33] Suzanne> I.... *blinks at Hastur* Wait, I remember you....
[23:33] Hastur> ... Remember me?
[23:34] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *runs his fingers through his hair uneasily, having not actually seen it change, but heard the gasp and seen the shock in Suzie's eyes, staring at it* ...Remember him?
[23:34] Constantine> Well damn Hastur, she remembers you. You're in trouble.
[23:35] Hastur> I'm usually in trouble.
[23:35] Suzanne> *blushes suddenly very very red* Never mind.
[23:36] Suzanne> But he's not a demon, Andrew, and I think we had best go very very far away from here. Your hair... Well, it's very pretty, at least.
[23:36] Hastur> *smirks a bit at Suzanne* You do, then. Allow me to say you could attend my balls anytime.
[23:36] Suzanne> *not an angel
[23:36] Suzanne> *manages to turn even redder*
[23:37] Hastur> [Angel, demon, what's the difference?]
[23:37] Suzanne> [Really XD]
[23:37] Hastur> I certainly *am* an angel!
[23:37] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> If Suzie says you are not, sir, then I'm sure you are no such thing! *takes Suzanne's arm* Come along.
[23:37] Constantine> Just like I'm Frank Sinatra.
[23:37] Suzanne> You're not! You're a demon! A nasty demon who makes people do vulgar dances, and...other things.
[23:37] Hastur> *shrugs and surrounds them with a ring of fire*
[23:38] Suzanne> *shrieks and stands as close to Andrew as she can*
[23:38] Constantine> You made them dance vulgarly? For shame, Angel.
[23:38] Hastur> *looks at John* It was the *Macarena*.
[23:38] Constantine> ... *dies*
[23:38] Constantine> *not really, but laughs really hard*
[23:38] Hastur> *grins* Exactly.
[23:39] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> I know not what this Mah-kuh... what this is, but if Suzanne says it, I believe her. *glowers and tries to stand protectively between Suzie and the fire* *fails, obviously*
[23:39] Suzanne> [XD I love Andrew]
[23:40] Constantine> Macarena. *wheezes*
[23:40] Hastur> Exactly! It was great!
[23:40] Suzanne> Please let us go?
[23:40] Constantine> *starts choking*
[23:40] Constantine> Oh let them go, Hastur.
[23:40] Hastur> Oh, fine. *waves a hand and gets rid of the fire* I must thank you two. You made my night *most* entertaining.
[23:41] Suzanne> *clings to Andrew, near tears*
[23:41] Constantine> *coughhackwheeze*
[23:41] Hastur> *hums the Macarena*
[23:41] Suzanne> *squeaks*
[23:41] Nemesis> *Giggles*
[23:41] Constantine> *coughs harder* Stop, you're killing me, squire.
[23:41] Constantine> *doubles over*
[23:41] Hastur> *smirks and stops*
[23:41] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *scowls, and puts a protective arm round Suzanne* I must ask that you leave us -alone-, demon or whatever you are.
[23:42] Hastur> Surely. But really, sometime, you should ask someone why the hell I was so amused that you were talking so effusively about your balls.
[23:42] Suzanne> *blinks at Hastur and clings more*
[23:42] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> ...Perhaps you... .... ........*turnsred*
[23:43] Hastur> Oh, I think he *gets* it.
[23:43] Suzanne> Can we go, Andrew? Please?
[23:43] Hastur> Bit slow on the uptake, chum.
[23:43] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *mortified to the point of whispering* Let's - yes. Yes, Suzie, we're -going-.
[23:43] Nemesis> Yeah, really.
[23:43] Constantine> Yeah. Balls. Cock. The whole thing. What'd you think he was talking about?
[23:43] Suzanne> *wonders why Sinatra's talking about chickens*
[23:43] Sir-Andrew-Ffoulkes> *hurriedly* Parties and roosters. Come, now, Suzanne. *rushes her away*
[23:43] Constantine> (... *DIES*)
[23:43] Hastur> [*FALLS OVER*]
[23:43] Nemesis> [CHICKENSSSSSSSSSSS]
[23:44] Suzanne> *is rushed away*
[23:44] Constantine> ... *falls over laughing* Bloody... chickens...
[23:44] Hastur> *bursts into laughter*
[23:44] * Suzanne has quit IRC (Quit)
[23:45] Nemesis> *Facepalm*
[23:45] Hastur> That was *beautiful*.
[23:45] Constantine> I'm sorry I wasn't here for the whole thing.
[23:45] Hastur> They were talking about how large and glamorous Sir Percy's balls were.
[23:46] Constantine> ... and lacy, I bet.
[23:46] Hastur> Of course.
[23:46] Nemesis> Colorful, too.
[23:46] Constantine> How festive!
[23:46] Hastur> Oh yeah. Apparently the guy's got multicolored balls.
[23:47] Constantine> He should have that looked at.
[23:47] Hastur> *cracks up* He should.