Why are subject headers so hard to think up?
I honestly need to stop living in a fucking dream. I did something, which.. now that I look back on was entirely foolish on my part. And I will regret it. God.. another fucking regret to chalk up on my black board. Another fucking tally mark to add to the others. One day, I will let go of my regrets. I will learn to live my life without them, without those nagging little voices in my head to hold me back from my goals. Yes, my regrets. I did something I promised myself I would never do. I let my mistakes become me, and that is my biggest failure in life this far. So, on that note. I'm going to make a few things painfully clear and out in the open for anyone to take.
First things first, I crave. I want. I need. The sad thing is, I always crave/want/need the hopelessly unobtainable. Does this make me a bad guy? No. Stupid, but not bad. I get so fucking broke down in my desperations for something, anyone. Something fucking tangible, something to hold onto.. something to call mine.. I lost sight of the overall picture. I am so fucking stupid sometimes. No more sky-high hopes.
Second thing being, I'm not a nice guy. I've never been, and I never will be. You might call this a bluff, but it's the honest to God truth. You might say you've seen a happy, caring part of me. That was only because it properly suited the moment. Don't question me on this. You'll end up corrected.
Thirdly, of the handful of people I still hold close to myself.. the number remains the same. And I can count you all on my fingers. Seven of you. It's fucking tragedy when an 18 year old guy as truly turned his back on the world.. and can only find himself to rely on those seven people. I never bothered to keep a count on my enemies, and I got tired of keeping them closer than my friends.. too many to fucking keep up with.
With all that said, I'm out.
First things first, I crave. I want. I need. The sad thing is, I always crave/want/need the hopelessly unobtainable. Does this make me a bad guy? No. Stupid, but not bad. I get so fucking broke down in my desperations for something, anyone. Something fucking tangible, something to hold onto.. something to call mine.. I lost sight of the overall picture. I am so fucking stupid sometimes. No more sky-high hopes.
Second thing being, I'm not a nice guy. I've never been, and I never will be. You might call this a bluff, but it's the honest to God truth. You might say you've seen a happy, caring part of me. That was only because it properly suited the moment. Don't question me on this. You'll end up corrected.
Thirdly, of the handful of people I still hold close to myself.. the number remains the same. And I can count you all on my fingers. Seven of you. It's fucking tragedy when an 18 year old guy as truly turned his back on the world.. and can only find himself to rely on those seven people. I never bothered to keep a count on my enemies, and I got tired of keeping them closer than my friends.. too many to fucking keep up with.
With all that said, I'm out.