The End of Another Year
I've almost made it through another December. This one was perhaps not quite so hard as last year's. It was the sixth Thanksgiving, birthday, anniversary and Christmas without Paul, so still difficult, but the 5 year things were harder. I guess some part of me kept thinking, up until 5 years, that it was all temporary and would somehow go away ... or maybe that I would go away, would join Paul. That hasn't happened, so I guess I'm adjusting to still being here, still having things left to do. I've gone on with my life the whole five years, but maybe there was some part of me that still thought of it as marking time. Maybe there still is, I don't know.
Or maybe it's the nice, warm weather we've had. We set a record high for today's date. The previous one was 70 in 1973. Today was at least 76 at one point. Not having to deal with cold might have made it easier to get through all the special days. Possibly.
2016 is about to begin. In three months, the official sixth anniversary of Paul's death will probably drag me down a little. I'm determined to keep busy, keep doing, keep helping and serving and making myself a better person. Still there's a little sadness. I put into words today the thought that I will never have a new picture of Paul. I knew that, of course I did. I just put it into words today.
Or maybe it's the nice, warm weather we've had. We set a record high for today's date. The previous one was 70 in 1973. Today was at least 76 at one point. Not having to deal with cold might have made it easier to get through all the special days. Possibly.
2016 is about to begin. In three months, the official sixth anniversary of Paul's death will probably drag me down a little. I'm determined to keep busy, keep doing, keep helping and serving and making myself a better person. Still there's a little sadness. I put into words today the thought that I will never have a new picture of Paul. I knew that, of course I did. I just put it into words today.
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