Epiphany
Epiphanies come along now and then, even after all these years. Most of the time, it isn't when I'm looking for some bit of knowledge or awareness, and that's what happened this time. In fact, I dare say I've been avoiding this particular bit of awareness, but now it's here, and there's nothing to do but face it fair and square and move on, enlightened about my own behavior and beliefs.
There's an ad on the BYU channel that I've seen a couple of times. It's advertising BYU's online Bachelor of General Studies. At the end of the ad, it asks the question, "Is it YOUR turn?"
Last night, when I heard that ending, I responded, "No, it isn't." As I did so, I realized that the reason I am so flippant is that my turn for an education is over, long over. I've had my bachelor's degree since February, 1976. I even have a master's degree, since the summer of 1988.
With my flippant answer, I realized that my turn for a lot of things is over, yet like a child on the ferris wheel who doesn't want to stop and get off and move on to another ride, I have resisted thinking about this. My LIFE isn't over, but my turn for many things is.
I've finished the rides on the education ferris wheel, the dating roller coaster, the child-raising merry-go-round, the career tilt-a-whirl. I am still involved in many parts of life - the compassionate service boomarang, the new friends bumper cars, contemplative rides like the lazy river, but those whirlwind, out-in-the-middle-of-it-all rides are over for me.
That's both welcome and un-welcome. I think I would be facing the new stages of my life much better if my lifelong obsession, Paul, were still with me, but he isn't, so I have to figure out ways to cope without him. I think I've been doing alright, most of the time, but now I am more aware of where I've been and where I'm going. Ages and Stages takes on new meaning.
There's an ad on the BYU channel that I've seen a couple of times. It's advertising BYU's online Bachelor of General Studies. At the end of the ad, it asks the question, "Is it YOUR turn?"
Last night, when I heard that ending, I responded, "No, it isn't." As I did so, I realized that the reason I am so flippant is that my turn for an education is over, long over. I've had my bachelor's degree since February, 1976. I even have a master's degree, since the summer of 1988.
With my flippant answer, I realized that my turn for a lot of things is over, yet like a child on the ferris wheel who doesn't want to stop and get off and move on to another ride, I have resisted thinking about this. My LIFE isn't over, but my turn for many things is.
I've finished the rides on the education ferris wheel, the dating roller coaster, the child-raising merry-go-round, the career tilt-a-whirl. I am still involved in many parts of life - the compassionate service boomarang, the new friends bumper cars, contemplative rides like the lazy river, but those whirlwind, out-in-the-middle-of-it-all rides are over for me.
That's both welcome and un-welcome. I think I would be facing the new stages of my life much better if my lifelong obsession, Paul, were still with me, but he isn't, so I have to figure out ways to cope without him. I think I've been doing alright, most of the time, but now I am more aware of where I've been and where I'm going. Ages and Stages takes on new meaning.