On Monday:
I started today with a lie. I told Storm I was running late, but would catch a cab into town from the university, where I’d been belayed. Two of those clauses were true: I was late, and I was intending to catch a cab, having missed the bus because I’d had a lie-in that morning
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Crystal; that's the sweetest :) I'm much better - relieved in fact. My social outings have suffered as we’d shared friends. But I joined a queer friendly Church, and am consolidating friendships while extending my social sphere. Made about four possible new friends in the last week - Isaac, Joseph, Kim, Evan - which should consolidate my network.
So - and I know, I sound like I’m on Oprah - I think I’ll be a better person because of this. More complete, and more careful to avoid making others uncomfortable. My ex was insecure, and I have no one to blame but myself for giving rise to that. I made her unhappy and apprehensive; and I in turn was frustrated that I had no way of reassuring her. My words seemed detrimental as she mistrusted my capacity for language.
I then had to refrain from telling her the lies she wanted to hear (on whether I would stay with her for life), and that hurt her the most. And then, examing the ethics of what I should, and shouldn't say, I got caught in an inquisition of conscience as to the veracity of what I was saying, and in my confusion and unrest I began to stray. Platonically - I should add - as I'm sure he was aware of my shifting affections. Regardless, my manners were untoward and my conduct does not merit commiseration. So I can't take up your offer to talk things through.
However, I did enjoy MSNing with you - how did things work out?
x John
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Which things? You mean the spending more time with me thing?
Are you using John regularly now, or is this a special occasion?
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