(no subject)
I can't deal with this, why do I do this? God damn it why can't I just hate him and kick him out of my life and really believe that hes a horrible person? His family is over there right now, Mom and Alise, and Ryan...I miss them so much. He told me they were there and I lost it. I haven't really cried about Jeff lately but god why do I have to lose the family too? His family was the closest I've ever felt to having a family. I really thought I was gonna be a part of their family too. I really honestly believed that I was going to be a daughter and a sister. I miss them so much. Why don't I get to have a family?