(no subject)
It takes me a long time to consider myself friends with someone. Feeling like we are close friends, or even just good friends, takes even longer and usually happens without my noticing.
What I have never been good at, is realizing when the other person doesn't see the friendship the same way as I do.
I can think of examples of this as far back as grade 3, and subsequent examples all the way through to present day. So I don't know if it's because I get attached to my few friends too easily, or if realistically I've just never been that likeable.
But it's fine, really. There's no rule that says a relationship has to be equal, right? I am happy just to have these people in my life.
What I need to stop, though, is feeling like the rug has been pulled out from under me when I finally figure out that I mean less to them than they do to me. It was my misconception all along, after all. They owe me precisely nothing.
But it still leaves me feeling ... sad, I guess. Sad that I was wrong.
I try to be aware of my flaws. The problem is that I don't know how to fix them, and trying seems to make them worse. And I know there are plenty of flaws I am unaware of.
I'm still trying, though. I really am. I don't know what else I can do.
What I have never been good at, is realizing when the other person doesn't see the friendship the same way as I do.
I can think of examples of this as far back as grade 3, and subsequent examples all the way through to present day. So I don't know if it's because I get attached to my few friends too easily, or if realistically I've just never been that likeable.
But it's fine, really. There's no rule that says a relationship has to be equal, right? I am happy just to have these people in my life.
What I need to stop, though, is feeling like the rug has been pulled out from under me when I finally figure out that I mean less to them than they do to me. It was my misconception all along, after all. They owe me precisely nothing.
But it still leaves me feeling ... sad, I guess. Sad that I was wrong.
I try to be aware of my flaws. The problem is that I don't know how to fix them, and trying seems to make them worse. And I know there are plenty of flaws I am unaware of.
I'm still trying, though. I really am. I don't know what else I can do.