Shit Quattro
Today’s blog is being sponsored by Schick Quattro razors. While I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth this morning, a Schick Quattro commercial came on, and startled me because when saying the product name, the announcer sounded like he was saying, “Shit Quattro.” He goes on to say it two more times and by this point, I’ve turned the running faucet off and placed my ear against the television set- again, “Shit Quattro.” He’s either saying, “Shi Quattro” or “Shit Quattro,” but either way the dude’s not saying “Schick.” Pretty clever way to get an audience to pay attention to your shitty (or shall I say “Schicky”) commercial if you ask me. Still, it’s a very distracting mispronouncement of the word “Schick,” because instead of thinking about razors, you’re thinking, “Wow, ‘shit quattro’ sounds like something Yoda would say to a Spanish Jedi in potty-training.”
Yoda: Mmm, shit quattro turds you must muchacho to rid of lunch-time snacks.
Anyways, the entire name itself is just off-putting. I’ll be sticking with my Gillette razor thank you very much.
Now, for those of you who are unaware that my life’s been sucking... well, my life’s been sucking, so now you know. My blogs have been consistently depressing lately and it’s gotten to the point where even I can’t stand reading them. In that light, I’ve chosen to lighten up for the sake of both my readers and myself. This summer has been nothing but a pain in my ass and since it’s coming to an end, I’ve decided to bury my strife in the hopes that my problems are only seasonal, and that Fall will be much more tolerable. That said, I would like to bring to your attention a band that has gotten me through most of Summer’s bullshit: Incubus. They are the best band ever to have graced this planet, and I’m pretty sure they own on other planets such as Jupiter and Uranus as well. Whether you like them or not, one thing cannot be denied about this group- they have a unique sound, and more importantly, a distinct sound that separates them from other bands. When you hear an Incubus song on the radio, you know instantaneously that it’s Incubus. It’s not like when a Simple Plan song comes on and you think it could be New Found Glory. Incubus doesn’t do the teenage bitch/whine that populates much of today’s music. They rely heavily on music’s technological advancements and Brandon Boyd’s distinct vocals. Not only can they carry a tune, but their lyrics are nearly poetic in complexity. A lot of the time, a band will sound great, but their lyrics are cheaply constructed. For example: “Will you catch me if I fall?” A standard lyric used in almost every song it seems like. With every album they release, Incubus can be seen as a band that takes every single day of the two-to-three year gaps between albums, to polish their thoughts, lyrics, and sound. They’re brilliant and their music has been ear-fucking me non-stop for the past seven years... awkward analogy, but you get the idea.
On that note, here are my top ten favorite songs by Incubus that you should download immediately if you have not done so already. Explanations as to why the song is in the position that it is, will follow.
1. Echo (Morning View, 2001): When someone discusses Incubus’s musicography (new word as of right now), I’ll bet my money that this song is either never or rarely brought up. Instead, you’ll probably hear of “Drive,” which is a good song too, but definitely overrated. “Echo” was one of two experimental tracks on their Morning View album (the other being “Aqueous Transmission”), where fans sort of split on what to think of it. It’s a calmer Incubus track, but it’s also very relaxing, which is what I love about it. When the track first starts out, it’s got this “narly” rhythm to it, that immediately propels images of ocean waves to one’s mind. It’s like going to the beach without setting foot out your door. I first heard this song in the spring of 2002, when a group of friends and myself went to Six Flags. It was in the late afternoon, when the dying sun had turned the surrounding hills into rolling waves of gold and red. The fact that I can remember such vivid details is all due to this hypnotic song.
Favorite line(s): “There’s something about the look in your eyes/ Something I noticed when the light was just right/ It reminded me twice that I was alive/ And it reminded me that you’re so worth the fight.”
2. Wish You Were Here (Morning View, 2001): This song can be classified as classic Incubus. Again the song transports you back to the beach scenery (“I dig my toes into the sand/ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds/ Strewn across a blue blanket”), but more importantly, it resounds as a summertime anthem. You rock out to it without a care in the world because school’s out and you’re on vacation. You’re having such a good time that you wish everyone you know and their mother’s could come join you and share the experience. Kick-ass classic.
Favorite line(s): “The world’s a roller coaster/ And I am not strapped in/ Maybe I should hold with care/ But my hands are busy in the air/ I say/ I wish you were here.”
3. Aqueous Transmission (Morning View, 2001): The ultimate chill song that’ll cool you off if your blood pressure’s too high. Whenever I listen to this song, I picture myself meditating in the Japanese Gardens at Six Flags. I used to have this song playing on repeat whenever I went to sleep, because combined with the crazy shapes my lava lamp would reflect onto my ceiling, the two went amazingly well hand-in-hand as an out-of-body, no need for puffin’ a joint, ultimate high experience.
Favorite line(s): “Two weeks without my lover/ I’m in this boat alone/ Floating down a river named emotion/ Will I make it back to shore?/ Or drift into the unknown?”
4. Stellar (Make Yourself, 1999): This song sounds like a combination between “Echo” and “Wish You Were Here,” and since both are two of my favorite Incubus tracks, it’s not wonder I like “Stellar” so much. It begins with a calm, reflective opening, but slowly evolves into a rock ballad that’s extremely catchy. It’s a killer combo of moods and it works.
Favorite line(s): “Meet me in outer space/ We could spend a night/ Watch the earth come up/ I’ve grown tired of that place/ Won’t you come with me/ We could start again.”
5. Talk Show on Mute (A Crow Left of the Murder, 2004): Probably their most diverse album as it veers off into Incubus’s political stance, ACLOTM was most successful when it came to the slower, more calmly paced tracks. “Talk Show on Mute” is the best song on the album as it sings of a message in a very transfixing sort of way... sort of how Incubus sings of a naive/ignorant people being sucked into media frenzy like moths to a flame.
Favorite line(s): “I hate to say so much more/ You’re so much more/ Endearing with the sound turned off.”
6. The Warmth (Make Yourself, 1999): For some reason I imagine myself submerging into the ocean when this song starts to play...it’s got this weird aquatic/intergalactic sound to it, but maybe it’s just me. This song just rocks, while at the same time sharing an optimistic message for its listeners.
Favorite line(s): “So don’t let the world bring you down/ Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold/ Remember why you came and while you’re alive/ Experience the warmth before you grow old.”
7. Warning (Morning View, 2001): I remember watching the music video for this track for the very first time on MTV... it was awesome and so was the song. Again we have a combination of catchy tunes and even catchier lyrics.
Favorite line(s): “I suggest we/ Learn to love ourselves/ Before it’s made illegal.”
8. Are You In? (Morning View, 2001): Here’s a song that everyone can sing along to. The lyrics are simplistic and yet they promote a unified vocal participation from whomever’s listening. Awesome song, especially live in concert.
Favorite line(s): “It’s so much better/ When everyone is in/ Are you in?”
9. I Miss You (Make Yourself, 1999): Behold, emo Incubus! When Brandon Boyd’s in love, he is in love. If he wrote and dedicated this song to a girlfriend of his, he not only got laid, he got raped. It’s one of their slower songs, but it’s easy on the ears, and definitely something you’ll be listening to on repeat if indeed there is someone in your life that you miss.
Favorite line(s): “To see you when I wake up/ Is a gift I didn’t think could be real/ To know that you feel the same as I do/ Is a three-fold utopian dream.”
10. Monuments and Melodies (Incubus Alive at Red Rocks bonus cd, 2004): Probably their slowest paced song, I tend to favor this track because I’m able to identify with it on a personal level. In fact, I’m probably able to connect with “Monuments and Melodies” more so than I am able to with any other Incubus recording.
Favorite line(s): My past is perilous/ But each scar I bear sings/ Monuments to where I have been/ And melodies to where I am going.”
Now run along and listen to these kick-ass songs. They’ll change your life, I swear.