vh1's 100 most wanted bodies
did you make sure to beware the ides of march? lord, i hope so.
today i ventured into the land of cardio. i realized this is different from yoga in the way that yes, i can contort myself into all weird positions now and i'm amazingly flexible but this means NOTHING to Michelle Dozois and her nazi boot camp dvd. 10 minutes of cardio HELL. her insesant chirps ("keep with the set") made me do nothing but stop the set and yell "What are you going to do michelle? i've STOPPED the set. and i'm going to eat lard from a varity of sources." in all actuality, i shut off the tape because she's the most annoying instructor ever and she hurts my knees with all her lundging and bounding across the world.
so i turned to Giselle Roque de Escobar (and if she wasn't a girl, i'd marry her so i could be Devon Roque de Escobar, which is probably the best name i can THINK of, honestly) and did some cardio salsa. i like my cardio salsa tape because it guarantees that you can burn fat with sizzling, nay, caliente(!) latin dance moves. hell. they've hired a DRUMMER (my boy Ravi) to help you keep with the beat. Plus, Giselle love peanut m&m's. it's right there on the cover. of course, i think Giselle weighs less than the entire package OF peanut m&m's but i guess that's besides the point. i danced the night away. i've got some intense cha cha skills. this cardio salsa tape makes me want to pick up and move south of the border, and not GO to south of the border, which i wouldn't anyway, because they have terrible food. i want to take salsa lessons, because i feel there's an extreme lack of shimmy-ing (which i am incapable of doing) and i could handle that.
so after all this i decided to have a dance party in my kitchen. by myself....
but now my itunes has selected classics from the crypt assuring that yes, i WILL never get to bed tonite.
today i ventured into the land of cardio. i realized this is different from yoga in the way that yes, i can contort myself into all weird positions now and i'm amazingly flexible but this means NOTHING to Michelle Dozois and her nazi boot camp dvd. 10 minutes of cardio HELL. her insesant chirps ("keep with the set") made me do nothing but stop the set and yell "What are you going to do michelle? i've STOPPED the set. and i'm going to eat lard from a varity of sources." in all actuality, i shut off the tape because she's the most annoying instructor ever and she hurts my knees with all her lundging and bounding across the world.
so i turned to Giselle Roque de Escobar (and if she wasn't a girl, i'd marry her so i could be Devon Roque de Escobar, which is probably the best name i can THINK of, honestly) and did some cardio salsa. i like my cardio salsa tape because it guarantees that you can burn fat with sizzling, nay, caliente(!) latin dance moves. hell. they've hired a DRUMMER (my boy Ravi) to help you keep with the beat. Plus, Giselle love peanut m&m's. it's right there on the cover. of course, i think Giselle weighs less than the entire package OF peanut m&m's but i guess that's besides the point. i danced the night away. i've got some intense cha cha skills. this cardio salsa tape makes me want to pick up and move south of the border, and not GO to south of the border, which i wouldn't anyway, because they have terrible food. i want to take salsa lessons, because i feel there's an extreme lack of shimmy-ing (which i am incapable of doing) and i could handle that.
so after all this i decided to have a dance party in my kitchen. by myself....
but now my itunes has selected classics from the crypt assuring that yes, i WILL never get to bed tonite.