(no subject)
My life has been so dark and quiet lately . I dont mean my family we are all well . Money is tight , with Ben being laid off and working three and four day weeks . I am very lucky he had kept his job and so far we have been able to keep the house and car . It is also a relief to know I can now get a job as a nurse tech or as a pharm tech if needed so I can help . School is going okay . I am making B's . I wish they were A's . I just dont put myself into it the way I should . Also they give us so much work , I would have to completely turn my entire life over to it just to study all I neeed to . I am doing well enough I suppose . No deans list but still good . I have decided next semester I will only take my nursing classes . I dont care if it drops me down to part time . Although someone told me that once you were in your major then it wasnt considered part time .. I don know something more to look into . I am planning on taking Micro this summer . I tried to get into it this semester but the only class that was available for nursing students fell at 5-8 at night . I already miss so much time with the kids I cant handle night classes too . I am taking Spanish 2 , Medical Terminology ( a remedial corse compared to what I am taking , but ya know it was a 1 credit class to fill up what I needed and a refresher in latin never hutrs ) and then Nursing 1114 Nursing across a life span , an 8 credit hour course with 2 days of clinicals . I am actually very happy about this semester .
Bianca and Will are doing great , they are getting so big . I look at how much of a young woman Bianca is turning into and it make me miss her as a baby . I cant believe she is 12 .. Will is still wild and rambunctious as ever . He got a new bike for Christmas and it only took him 2 days to be doing trick and riding without training wheels and such . We walk over to a nearby road that isnt so traveled and let the kids ride .
Ben is doing well , nothing really changes with him . He is learning to play his giutar and banjo better . Still same Ben , just longer hair .
Me , well I dont know what to say . I feel very lonely most days . No one at school knows the real me . No one knows my spirituality or that I am bisexual . I feel like I only show part of me . I havent had a group ritual in so long It have been six months I think now . Liz is doing the Sisterhood of Avalon , and though she wanted me to do it I just didnt have the time .Jeff and Jason are to big of partiers to really deal with on a long term level. I love them but I can only deal on short time frames .Jeff is Jades student anyway . I still have private rituals and I speak with the goddess daily . I just feel like I am alone . In truth I am I mean I could go to Chattanooga , there are covens who have made it clear they would love to have me join or even come visit . I just dont , either time conflict or I just really dont feel it . I live going to Starbridge . I think this year we will go to both Samhain and Beltain . I miss sitting around fires with friends and laughing and I miss worshiping together .. I never knew it could be so lonely .....
Gah .. I am so down lately . I guess cause I havet talked to anyone not really in forever .. I really miss the chakra classes we when all of us could just sit and talk and cry and laugh and eat my different colors of jello ....
anywhoo ..;. at least I still have you ,lj ......
Bianca and Will are doing great , they are getting so big . I look at how much of a young woman Bianca is turning into and it make me miss her as a baby . I cant believe she is 12 .. Will is still wild and rambunctious as ever . He got a new bike for Christmas and it only took him 2 days to be doing trick and riding without training wheels and such . We walk over to a nearby road that isnt so traveled and let the kids ride .
Ben is doing well , nothing really changes with him . He is learning to play his giutar and banjo better . Still same Ben , just longer hair .
Me , well I dont know what to say . I feel very lonely most days . No one at school knows the real me . No one knows my spirituality or that I am bisexual . I feel like I only show part of me . I havent had a group ritual in so long It have been six months I think now . Liz is doing the Sisterhood of Avalon , and though she wanted me to do it I just didnt have the time .Jeff and Jason are to big of partiers to really deal with on a long term level. I love them but I can only deal on short time frames .Jeff is Jades student anyway . I still have private rituals and I speak with the goddess daily . I just feel like I am alone . In truth I am I mean I could go to Chattanooga , there are covens who have made it clear they would love to have me join or even come visit . I just dont , either time conflict or I just really dont feel it . I live going to Starbridge . I think this year we will go to both Samhain and Beltain . I miss sitting around fires with friends and laughing and I miss worshiping together .. I never knew it could be so lonely .....
Gah .. I am so down lately . I guess cause I havet talked to anyone not really in forever .. I really miss the chakra classes we when all of us could just sit and talk and cry and laugh and eat my different colors of jello ....
anywhoo ..;. at least I still have you ,lj ......