30 days meme; day 9 "Beliefs"
Be kind. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Try hard with family and friends, and if you mess up, do your best to make reparations.
I was raised Roman Catholic, but I don't believe anymore. I lost my faith when I was 12, while sitting on a fence at the bottom of the hill near my house. I was on my way home from school, and it was such a beautiful day that I just had to stop. At that point in my life I was mostly thinking about, and questioning, faith and God, so on that beautiful day, sitting on that fence, my mind turned to divinity. Suddenly - I remember it clear as yesterday - I looked up and understood. There wasn't any room in the universe for heaven, no room for God. My faith was gone, instantaneously, replaced with a sense of peace and relief.
Looking back, knowing what I do now about my medical status, that understanding was almost certainly a mild seizure. There's a class of seizures called simple partials that don't cause unconsciousness, just a variety of odd feelings or behavior. One of those simple partials is sort of like finding 42. For one brief moment you completely understand the truth of whatever you're thinking about.
You'd think that finding out my whole belief system was based on a seizure would make me re-evaluate it, but I can't. Atheism is written on my (non-existent) soul now, and nothing else feels right. I can't even manage agnosticism, despite thinking that it makes the most sense.
Despite my lack of belief, I've stayed culturally Catholic. My sense of morality - how I got my current beliefs - definitely comes from Catholic school, church and example. So does the importance I place on apologies and making an effort to make things better. I have a thing for ritual, too, and I'll even go to church on Easter and Christmas, for my family. However, my cultural Catholicism does not extend to the whole sex-is-bad thing. Quite the opposite, actually. Thank Chance for that. :)
I was raised Roman Catholic, but I don't believe anymore. I lost my faith when I was 12, while sitting on a fence at the bottom of the hill near my house. I was on my way home from school, and it was such a beautiful day that I just had to stop. At that point in my life I was mostly thinking about, and questioning, faith and God, so on that beautiful day, sitting on that fence, my mind turned to divinity. Suddenly - I remember it clear as yesterday - I looked up and understood. There wasn't any room in the universe for heaven, no room for God. My faith was gone, instantaneously, replaced with a sense of peace and relief.
Looking back, knowing what I do now about my medical status, that understanding was almost certainly a mild seizure. There's a class of seizures called simple partials that don't cause unconsciousness, just a variety of odd feelings or behavior. One of those simple partials is sort of like finding 42. For one brief moment you completely understand the truth of whatever you're thinking about.
You'd think that finding out my whole belief system was based on a seizure would make me re-evaluate it, but I can't. Atheism is written on my (non-existent) soul now, and nothing else feels right. I can't even manage agnosticism, despite thinking that it makes the most sense.
Despite my lack of belief, I've stayed culturally Catholic. My sense of morality - how I got my current beliefs - definitely comes from Catholic school, church and example. So does the importance I place on apologies and making an effort to make things better. I have a thing for ritual, too, and I'll even go to church on Easter and Christmas, for my family. However, my cultural Catholicism does not extend to the whole sex-is-bad thing. Quite the opposite, actually. Thank Chance for that. :)