convo #2
frrenchvanilla06: sup gangsta?
neomageorge: ummmm... hi
frrenchvanilla06: hi....
frrenchvanilla06: wats wrong?
neomageorge: nothin
neomageorge: just weird that you'r talkin to me i guess
neomageorge: i sorta thought...
neomageorge: well nvm
neomageorge: sup?
frrenchvanilla06: no no
frrenchvanilla06: sorta thought wat?
neomageorge: nothin nothin
frrenchvanilla06: no
neomageorge: its not important...
frrenchvanilla06: tell me
neomageorge: i sorta thought you din't wanna talk to me anymore
frrenchvanilla06: why would i not talk to u?
neomageorge: :shrugs:
frrenchvanilla06: ok...
neomageorge: anyways.. sup
frrenchvanilla06: nada much
frrenchvanilla06: i dunno if ya saw
frrenchvanilla06: but i put my senior pics up on myspace
neomageorge: ya
neomageorge: i saw
neomageorge: they'r coo
frrenchvanilla06: thx
frrenchvanilla06: which ones ur fav?
neomageorge: i don't member
neomageorge: not the one you picked and not the cowboy one
neomageorge: its one in the dress i think
frrenchvanilla06: the one i picked is the cowboy one
frrenchvanilla06: dude
frrenchvanilla06: tehre are four dress ones
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: i thought you picked the other one...
frrenchvanilla06: oh right
frrenchvanilla06: i did
frrenchvanilla06: for like
neomageorge: see!
frrenchvanilla06: ten minutes
frrenchvanilla06: then i figured i liked the cowbo one better
neomageorge: you din't change it though... people who aren't in your circle don't know...
frrenchvanilla06: wat?
frrenchvanilla06: yes i did
frrenchvanilla06: my display pic is my cowoy hat one
neomageorge: no but on the captions and stuff
neomageorge: and in your blog
frrenchvanilla06: wat?
frrenchvanilla06: do u know who i am?
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: i thought you blogged about it
neomageorge: or maybe that was kenaya...
neomageorge: hmm
frrenchvanilla06: i posted a blog about my hat
frrenchvanilla06: and how i was gna possibly use it for a pic
neomageorge: thats right...
frrenchvanilla06: wow.. yeah, cuz kenaya and i are oh so similar...
neomageorge: whatever man
neomageorge: i don't get on there much anymore
frrenchvanilla06: lol
frrenchvanilla06: its all good
neomageorge: i hardly ever have time
frrenchvanilla06: i probbly log on like 6 times a day
neomageorge: but myspace is sorta retarded anymore...
frrenchvanilla06: i know
frrenchvanilla06: so yeah...
neomageorge: ok i know your prolly already mad that i said anything earlier... but i really am wondering why you talk to me? is it a joke? a set up? pity<---???? anger? what?
frrenchvanilla06: um
frrenchvanilla06: u're my friend
frrenchvanilla06: do i need ne more reasoning?
frrenchvanilla06: yes its a setup
frrenchvanilla06: so ull have my babies
frrenchvanilla06: so htey'll be mench/ franish babies
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: o
frrenchvanilla06: a
neomageorge: a?
frrenchvanilla06: well u wrote o
frrenchvanilla06: so i wrote another vowel
frrenchvanilla06: im lame
frrenchvanilla06: i know
neomageorge: ok.... then
frrenchvanilla06: yeah
neomageorge: i am talkin to people who know me
neomageorge: even maybe not that well
neomageorge: about what i'm like
neomageorge: like my nature
neomageorge: to be mean
neomageorge: negative
neomageorge: cynical
neomageorge: hurtful
neomageorge: ...
neomageorge: so umm what do you think
neomageorge: i have just been told
neomageorge: and i think i agree
frrenchvanilla06: u have just been told wat?
neomageorge: that i only see thebad in things
frrenchvanilla06: yeah i agree with that
frrenchvanilla06: its like
frrenchvanilla06: its eitehr black or white with u
frrenchvanilla06: if u do sumthing wrong around u.. u can turn 180 on that erson
frrenchvanilla06: person*
neomageorge: sometimes i think i should explain
neomageorge: and then one day i thought about it
neomageorge: one day after i talked to you actually
neomageorge: and you said that i keep everything in
neomageorge: and what whindes up happening is that people don't see what makes me snap because i don't say anything the fifty thousand times i get upset
neomageorge: and then the fifty thousand and first time
neomageorge: i blow up
neomageorge: but people don't follow how it happened
neomageorge: its not a one eighty really
neomageorge: but i guess
frrenchvanilla06: and ur explosion is so much bigger b/cother things you've also kept up come out
neomageorge: in some ways i realize it and don't do anythin bout it
neomageorge: i wish i was perfect
neomageorge: i wish all the time i was perfect
frrenchvanilla06: perfect doesnt exist
frrenchvanilla06: and if it did
frrenchvanilla06: i wouldnt want t
frrenchvanilla06: it*
neomageorge: i do
frrenchvanilla06: b/c it would get boring
neomageorge: i find that i watch other people
neomageorge: in the way that i don't see anything positive ya know
neomageorge: and i see them do stupid
neomageorge: or annoying
neomageorge: or unattractive things
neomageorge: and i make a note not to do those things
neomageorge: a note in my head
frrenchvanilla06: hey keep talkin
frrenchvanilla06: but i gta go pee
frrenchvanilla06: so brb
neomageorge: what happens after that though
neomageorge: is i mean i dont tell people
neomageorge: that i am not doing certain things
neomageorge: but in these things i don't want or try not to do
neomageorge: are things like
neomageorge: call
neomageorge: or show affection
neomageorge: or show i care in any way
neomageorge: about or for somebody
neomageorge: like unless i have a really big crush
neomageorge: or a very persistant one
neomageorge: than i dont say anything
neomageorge: or even if it is really big or something
neomageorge: i dont tell people
frrenchvanilla06: have u always been like that?
neomageorge: what?
neomageorge: not telling people?
frrenchvanilla06: not willing to show affection
neomageorge: yeh
neomageorge: affection makes me uncomfotable
neomageorge: uncomfortable*
frrenchvanilla06: why?
frrenchvanilla06: how?
neomageorge: i dunno
neomageorge: its what i want
neomageorge: i always in my head and stuff wish that i had someone who really cared about me
neomageorge: and showed me that they actually cared
neomageorge: but when people touch me
neomageorge: if they pat my arm
neomageorge: or my back or something if i'm upset
neomageorge: its sorta weird
neomageorge: makes me uneasy
neomageorge: like they'r invading my space
frrenchvanilla06: well wat about around ur parents?
neomageorge: so even like a hug or holding hands
neomageorge: maybe fondling someone hair
neomageorge: its makes me weird out
neomageorge: my parents?
neomageorge: no
neomageorge: i guess its like
neomageorge: im closest to my mom in something and my dad in others
neomageorge: and like in my family
neomageorge: its weird to say that you love someone
neomageorge: like say i love you mother
neomageorge: or whatever
neomageorge: or hug someone when something good happens
neomageorge: mostly you might tease them
neomageorge: even for something good
neomageorge: you make a sarcastic or cynical remark
frrenchvanilla06: wow
neomageorge: make it somehow not positive
frrenchvanilla06: thats kinda hard to imagine
frrenchvanilla06: why do u guys do that?
neomageorge: so that its like a double handed congratulations i guess
neomageorge: double sided or whatever
neomageorge: i dunno
neomageorge: its just how it is
neomageorge: its not uncomfortable
neomageorge: its how its always been
frrenchvanilla06: hmm
frrenchvanilla06: well i think thats part of ur problem
frrenchvanilla06: u're not used to have shown affection all ur life
neomageorge: its weird
neomageorge: affection i mean
frrenchvanilla06: so not beign used to it...u're not gna be comfortable with it
frrenchvanilla06: i mean.. u can learn
frrenchvanilla06: taking baby steps and stuff
neomageorge: i dont really have issues with like my family or whatever affection and what not
neomageorge: its just not done
neomageorge: and that's cool
neomageorge: like i see other parents when they are proud or happy that their children do things like hug them or something of that sort... my mom will usually reward us with something
neomageorge: like money or things
neomageorge: my dad will say that at least its not like we fucked up last time
neomageorge: and then you know that you did something right
neomageorge: like with me and my older lil brother
frrenchvanilla06: wow
frrenchvanilla06: thats not cool
neomageorge: its kind of a competition
frrenchvanilla06: u need affection
neomageorge: with grades
frrenchvanilla06: affection is part of human nature
neomageorge: and awards
frrenchvanilla06: how cna ur parents not want to hug u?
neomageorge: or at least not screwing up
neomageorge: hugging is strange
neomageorge: i have only recently come to terms with hugging
neomageorge: not myself
neomageorge: but like people hugging me
neomageorge: ok this will sound mean maybe
neomageorge: but like at all my schools its mostly like upper middle class or lower upper class white sorta kids
neomageorge: and i find that
neomageorge: they are very into hugging
neomageorge: and it is also my experience that mexican people are not that way no matter how much spanish class' will like to tell you
frrenchvanilla06: really?
frrenchvanilla06: cuz i know a mexican family
frrenchvanilla06: and they're even more affectionate thatn my mom and
frrenchvanilla06: and they're boys
frrenchvanilla06: and trust me.. thats a lot of affection
neomageorge: yeh like the families we hang out with
neomageorge: maybe its just coincidence
neomageorge: but not big on affection
neomageorge: granted their kids are more fucked up than us
neomageorge: but i dont think its related
neomageorge: when you said that this is the reason i have issues... or w/e...
neomageorge: like my brother... he doesn't have my problem
neomageorge: he's a lil slut
frrenchvanilla06: well
neomageorge: granted he does it all and keeps it apart from us
neomageorge: doesn't mix
frrenchvanilla06: every person is duff
neomageorge: i dont mix either
neomageorge: but still
frrenchvanilla06: he adjsuted to the family ambience differently
neomageorge: he's definitely ok with affection
neomageorge: .... maybe overly comfortable with it
neomageorge: >.<
frrenchvanilla06: great
frrenchvanilla06: its eitehr too much or too little in ur family
neomageorge: well
neomageorge: my lil lil brother is normal
neomageorge: cuz he's the baby
neomageorge: and its sorta weird to see
neomageorge: but like
neomageorge: my mom is totally different with him
neomageorge: its like we'r raised by a different mother
frrenchvanilla06: its normal
frrenchvanilla06: the third child is always the most spoiled
neomageorge: he's not spoiled
frrenchvanilla06: yeah he is
frrenchvanilla06: he gets affection
neomageorge: but he's actually kinda afeectionate or affectioned... haha
neomageorge: whatever the word is
frrenchvanilla06: ur mom is completely diff with him
neomageorge: ya
neomageorge: ok... detaching yourself from how affectionate your family is... do you think that it really is an issue
neomageorge: or that its very strange
neomageorge: about my affection-phobia(guess you could call it)
neomageorge: ???
frrenchvanilla06: wait
frrenchvanilla06: wat is ur question?
frrenchvanilla06: are u asking me if i think that me being all about ur family is weird?
neomageorge: is it damaging? or could/will it be? or is it something that will probably affect me but not in a way that would like change my life or something like that?
frrenchvanilla06: i think it will affect u
frrenchvanilla06: b/c if u think affection is weird now
frrenchvanilla06: how the hell are u ever going to be intimate with someone
frrenchvanilla06: kiss someone?
frrenchvanilla06: hold their hand?
frrenchvanilla06: make love?
neomageorge: i'v done those things
neomageorge: minus the sex
neomageorge: but in my mind
neomageorge: as you probably already figured
neomageorge: sex seems very awkward
neomageorge: its a strange activity
frrenchvanilla06: why?
neomageorge: when you think abou tit
neomageorge: well the mechanics
frrenchvanilla06: its an activity that ppl can show their affection, their wild side, and give and share immense feelings of pleasure and satisfaction
neomageorge: as in actually gettin to the actual sex part
neomageorge: seems impossible without a really big awkward
neomageorge: series of moments and gestures
neomageorge: also
neomageorge: i find that i think its somewhat dirty
neomageorge: and i imagine
neomageorge: i might feel a sort of guilt or shame
neomageorge: maybe filth in partaking in such an activity
neomageorge: ...
neomageorge: but dont tell anyone that part
frrenchvanilla06: ok
frrenchvanilla06: im abotu to ask u a really personal question
frrenchvanilla06: dont get all freaked out or nething
neomageorge: ya
frrenchvanilla06: have u ever masturbated
neomageorge: ya
frrenchvanilla06: ok
frrenchvanilla06: well wouldnt u wna enjoy that kind of pleasure with someone else?
frrenchvanilla06: let them let u feel like that
frrenchvanilla06: and there shouldnt be guilt
frrenchvanilla06: thats wat great about sex
frrenchvanilla06: ur giving to someone else
frrenchvanilla06: and they give to u as well
neomageorge: ok... well i know i would feel guilt
frrenchvanilla06: why?
neomageorge: i just know
neomageorge: and i still think its dirty
frrenchvanilla06: well then thats wat u think
frrenchvanilla06: i cant make u change ur mind
neomageorge: like
neomageorge: again
neomageorge: there's sorta two parts
neomageorge: like the part
neomageorge: where sure i'd like to do it with someone i care about
neomageorge: but at the same time i am aware of all the negative feelings
neomageorge: i would feel
frrenchvanilla06: why would u feel negative?
frrenchvanilla06: about wat?
frrenchvanilla06: someone giving u pleasure?
frrenchvanilla06: guys find that a turn on
neomageorge: and also the whole thing with i dont understand how you could get to that actual act without feeling awkward
neomageorge: what a turn on?
frrenchvanilla06: b/c it feels good
neomageorge: giving pleasure?
neomageorge: whats*
frrenchvanilla06: turn on is when the person enjoys what they are hearing or seeing or feeling.. nad it makes them horny or want to kiss them or orgasm
frrenchvanilla06: stuff like that
neomageorge: no no
neomageorge: i mean
frrenchvanilla06: normally.. guys will pop a boner when they're turned on and girls will get wet
neomageorge: what wer eyou refering to
neomageorge: when you said
frrenchvanilla06: oh
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: that its a turn on for guys
neomageorge: >.> o.o
frrenchvanilla06: its a turn on for gys to see a girl orgasm
frrenchvanilla06: like.. u said ud feel guilty
frrenchvanilla06: well u shouldnt
frrenchvanilla06: cuz the guy wants to do that
frrenchvanilla06: ure pleasing him
frrenchvanilla06: he likes that hes pleasing u
frrenchvanilla06: it turns him on hearin u moan and knowing uve cum, etc
frrenchvanilla06: wow
frrenchvanilla06: i make myself sound like im a professional
neomageorge: haha
neomageorge: its funny
neomageorge: because i always give advice on something that i myself am very uncomfortable with
neomageorge: like i think its awesome for other people to do it
neomageorge: that's their business
neomageorge: and more power to them
neomageorge: but for me personally ...
frrenchvanilla06: im still a virgin tho
frrenchvanilla06: and here i a
neomageorge: i know
frrenchvanilla06: am*
frrenchvanilla06: soundin like a nymph
neomageorge: i do the same thing
neomageorge: but then basically
frrenchvanilla06: lol
frrenchvanilla06: k
frrenchvanilla06: well hey
frrenchvanilla06: i hate to do this to u
neomageorge: nobody knows that i really think i'll hate sex
frrenchvanilla06: but im getting really tired
neomageorge: haha
neomageorge: nite
frrenchvanilla06: well... maybe ure not masturbating enough
frrenchvanilla06: lol
frrenchvanilla06: j/k
frrenchvanilla06: well.. maybe not
frrenchvanilla06: i mean
frrenchvanilla06: that is one way of growing ur affectionate side
frrenchvanilla06: beign affectionate with ur own self and ur own body
frrenchvanilla06: loveing who u are before u can appreciate another person
frrenchvanilla06: and its kinda like a reward
frrenchvanilla06: cuz u give urself affection and ultimate pleasure
neomageorge: maybe
neomageorge: or maybe i'll just bury it like other things
frrenchvanilla06: k
neomageorge: and be a nun
frrenchvanilla06: nope
neomageorge: or join a cult
neomageorge: that'd be better
frrenchvanilla06: imma hire u a stripper
frrenchvanilla06: cult ppl have sex
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: no one where they dont
neomageorge: no sex cults are definitely the best
neomageorge: no stripper...
frrenchvanilla06: lol
frrenchvanilla06: mmk
frrenchvanilla06: sex cult it is
frrenchvanilla06: and then.. our dominatrix jobs to pay for college
frrenchvanilla06: k
frrenchvanilla06: night
frrenchvanilla06 signed off at 3:01:58 AM.
neomageorge: ummmm... hi
frrenchvanilla06: hi....
frrenchvanilla06: wats wrong?
neomageorge: nothin
neomageorge: just weird that you'r talkin to me i guess
neomageorge: i sorta thought...
neomageorge: well nvm
neomageorge: sup?
frrenchvanilla06: no no
frrenchvanilla06: sorta thought wat?
neomageorge: nothin nothin
frrenchvanilla06: no
neomageorge: its not important...
frrenchvanilla06: tell me
neomageorge: i sorta thought you din't wanna talk to me anymore
frrenchvanilla06: why would i not talk to u?
neomageorge: :shrugs:
frrenchvanilla06: ok...
neomageorge: anyways.. sup
frrenchvanilla06: nada much
frrenchvanilla06: i dunno if ya saw
frrenchvanilla06: but i put my senior pics up on myspace
neomageorge: ya
neomageorge: i saw
neomageorge: they'r coo
frrenchvanilla06: thx
frrenchvanilla06: which ones ur fav?
neomageorge: i don't member
neomageorge: not the one you picked and not the cowboy one
neomageorge: its one in the dress i think
frrenchvanilla06: the one i picked is the cowboy one
frrenchvanilla06: dude
frrenchvanilla06: tehre are four dress ones
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: i thought you picked the other one...
frrenchvanilla06: oh right
frrenchvanilla06: i did
frrenchvanilla06: for like
neomageorge: see!
frrenchvanilla06: ten minutes
frrenchvanilla06: then i figured i liked the cowbo one better
neomageorge: you din't change it though... people who aren't in your circle don't know...
frrenchvanilla06: wat?
frrenchvanilla06: yes i did
frrenchvanilla06: my display pic is my cowoy hat one
neomageorge: no but on the captions and stuff
neomageorge: and in your blog
frrenchvanilla06: wat?
frrenchvanilla06: do u know who i am?
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: i thought you blogged about it
neomageorge: or maybe that was kenaya...
neomageorge: hmm
frrenchvanilla06: i posted a blog about my hat
frrenchvanilla06: and how i was gna possibly use it for a pic
neomageorge: thats right...
frrenchvanilla06: wow.. yeah, cuz kenaya and i are oh so similar...
neomageorge: whatever man
neomageorge: i don't get on there much anymore
frrenchvanilla06: lol
frrenchvanilla06: its all good
neomageorge: i hardly ever have time
frrenchvanilla06: i probbly log on like 6 times a day
neomageorge: but myspace is sorta retarded anymore...
frrenchvanilla06: i know
frrenchvanilla06: so yeah...
neomageorge: ok i know your prolly already mad that i said anything earlier... but i really am wondering why you talk to me? is it a joke? a set up? pity<---???? anger? what?
frrenchvanilla06: um
frrenchvanilla06: u're my friend
frrenchvanilla06: do i need ne more reasoning?
frrenchvanilla06: yes its a setup
frrenchvanilla06: so ull have my babies
frrenchvanilla06: so htey'll be mench/ franish babies
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: o
frrenchvanilla06: a
neomageorge: a?
frrenchvanilla06: well u wrote o
frrenchvanilla06: so i wrote another vowel
frrenchvanilla06: im lame
frrenchvanilla06: i know
neomageorge: ok.... then
frrenchvanilla06: yeah
neomageorge: i am talkin to people who know me
neomageorge: even maybe not that well
neomageorge: about what i'm like
neomageorge: like my nature
neomageorge: to be mean
neomageorge: negative
neomageorge: cynical
neomageorge: hurtful
neomageorge: ...
neomageorge: so umm what do you think
neomageorge: i have just been told
neomageorge: and i think i agree
frrenchvanilla06: u have just been told wat?
neomageorge: that i only see thebad in things
frrenchvanilla06: yeah i agree with that
frrenchvanilla06: its like
frrenchvanilla06: its eitehr black or white with u
frrenchvanilla06: if u do sumthing wrong around u.. u can turn 180 on that erson
frrenchvanilla06: person*
neomageorge: sometimes i think i should explain
neomageorge: and then one day i thought about it
neomageorge: one day after i talked to you actually
neomageorge: and you said that i keep everything in
neomageorge: and what whindes up happening is that people don't see what makes me snap because i don't say anything the fifty thousand times i get upset
neomageorge: and then the fifty thousand and first time
neomageorge: i blow up
neomageorge: but people don't follow how it happened
neomageorge: its not a one eighty really
neomageorge: but i guess
frrenchvanilla06: and ur explosion is so much bigger b/cother things you've also kept up come out
neomageorge: in some ways i realize it and don't do anythin bout it
neomageorge: i wish i was perfect
neomageorge: i wish all the time i was perfect
frrenchvanilla06: perfect doesnt exist
frrenchvanilla06: and if it did
frrenchvanilla06: i wouldnt want t
frrenchvanilla06: it*
neomageorge: i do
frrenchvanilla06: b/c it would get boring
neomageorge: i find that i watch other people
neomageorge: in the way that i don't see anything positive ya know
neomageorge: and i see them do stupid
neomageorge: or annoying
neomageorge: or unattractive things
neomageorge: and i make a note not to do those things
neomageorge: a note in my head
frrenchvanilla06: hey keep talkin
frrenchvanilla06: but i gta go pee
frrenchvanilla06: so brb
neomageorge: what happens after that though
neomageorge: is i mean i dont tell people
neomageorge: that i am not doing certain things
neomageorge: but in these things i don't want or try not to do
neomageorge: are things like
neomageorge: call
neomageorge: or show affection
neomageorge: or show i care in any way
neomageorge: about or for somebody
neomageorge: like unless i have a really big crush
neomageorge: or a very persistant one
neomageorge: than i dont say anything
neomageorge: or even if it is really big or something
neomageorge: i dont tell people
frrenchvanilla06: have u always been like that?
neomageorge: what?
neomageorge: not telling people?
frrenchvanilla06: not willing to show affection
neomageorge: yeh
neomageorge: affection makes me uncomfotable
neomageorge: uncomfortable*
frrenchvanilla06: why?
frrenchvanilla06: how?
neomageorge: i dunno
neomageorge: its what i want
neomageorge: i always in my head and stuff wish that i had someone who really cared about me
neomageorge: and showed me that they actually cared
neomageorge: but when people touch me
neomageorge: if they pat my arm
neomageorge: or my back or something if i'm upset
neomageorge: its sorta weird
neomageorge: makes me uneasy
neomageorge: like they'r invading my space
frrenchvanilla06: well wat about around ur parents?
neomageorge: so even like a hug or holding hands
neomageorge: maybe fondling someone hair
neomageorge: its makes me weird out
neomageorge: my parents?
neomageorge: no
neomageorge: i guess its like
neomageorge: im closest to my mom in something and my dad in others
neomageorge: and like in my family
neomageorge: its weird to say that you love someone
neomageorge: like say i love you mother
neomageorge: or whatever
neomageorge: or hug someone when something good happens
neomageorge: mostly you might tease them
neomageorge: even for something good
neomageorge: you make a sarcastic or cynical remark
frrenchvanilla06: wow
neomageorge: make it somehow not positive
frrenchvanilla06: thats kinda hard to imagine
frrenchvanilla06: why do u guys do that?
neomageorge: so that its like a double handed congratulations i guess
neomageorge: double sided or whatever
neomageorge: i dunno
neomageorge: its just how it is
neomageorge: its not uncomfortable
neomageorge: its how its always been
frrenchvanilla06: hmm
frrenchvanilla06: well i think thats part of ur problem
frrenchvanilla06: u're not used to have shown affection all ur life
neomageorge: its weird
neomageorge: affection i mean
frrenchvanilla06: so not beign used to it...u're not gna be comfortable with it
frrenchvanilla06: i mean.. u can learn
frrenchvanilla06: taking baby steps and stuff
neomageorge: i dont really have issues with like my family or whatever affection and what not
neomageorge: its just not done
neomageorge: and that's cool
neomageorge: like i see other parents when they are proud or happy that their children do things like hug them or something of that sort... my mom will usually reward us with something
neomageorge: like money or things
neomageorge: my dad will say that at least its not like we fucked up last time
neomageorge: and then you know that you did something right
neomageorge: like with me and my older lil brother
frrenchvanilla06: wow
frrenchvanilla06: thats not cool
neomageorge: its kind of a competition
frrenchvanilla06: u need affection
neomageorge: with grades
frrenchvanilla06: affection is part of human nature
neomageorge: and awards
frrenchvanilla06: how cna ur parents not want to hug u?
neomageorge: or at least not screwing up
neomageorge: hugging is strange
neomageorge: i have only recently come to terms with hugging
neomageorge: not myself
neomageorge: but like people hugging me
neomageorge: ok this will sound mean maybe
neomageorge: but like at all my schools its mostly like upper middle class or lower upper class white sorta kids
neomageorge: and i find that
neomageorge: they are very into hugging
neomageorge: and it is also my experience that mexican people are not that way no matter how much spanish class' will like to tell you
frrenchvanilla06: really?
frrenchvanilla06: cuz i know a mexican family
frrenchvanilla06: and they're even more affectionate thatn my mom and
frrenchvanilla06: and they're boys
frrenchvanilla06: and trust me.. thats a lot of affection
neomageorge: yeh like the families we hang out with
neomageorge: maybe its just coincidence
neomageorge: but not big on affection
neomageorge: granted their kids are more fucked up than us
neomageorge: but i dont think its related
neomageorge: when you said that this is the reason i have issues... or w/e...
neomageorge: like my brother... he doesn't have my problem
neomageorge: he's a lil slut
frrenchvanilla06: well
neomageorge: granted he does it all and keeps it apart from us
neomageorge: doesn't mix
frrenchvanilla06: every person is duff
neomageorge: i dont mix either
neomageorge: but still
frrenchvanilla06: he adjsuted to the family ambience differently
neomageorge: he's definitely ok with affection
neomageorge: .... maybe overly comfortable with it
neomageorge: >.<
frrenchvanilla06: great
frrenchvanilla06: its eitehr too much or too little in ur family
neomageorge: well
neomageorge: my lil lil brother is normal
neomageorge: cuz he's the baby
neomageorge: and its sorta weird to see
neomageorge: but like
neomageorge: my mom is totally different with him
neomageorge: its like we'r raised by a different mother
frrenchvanilla06: its normal
frrenchvanilla06: the third child is always the most spoiled
neomageorge: he's not spoiled
frrenchvanilla06: yeah he is
frrenchvanilla06: he gets affection
neomageorge: but he's actually kinda afeectionate or affectioned... haha
neomageorge: whatever the word is
frrenchvanilla06: ur mom is completely diff with him
neomageorge: ya
neomageorge: ok... detaching yourself from how affectionate your family is... do you think that it really is an issue
neomageorge: or that its very strange
neomageorge: about my affection-phobia(guess you could call it)
neomageorge: ???
frrenchvanilla06: wait
frrenchvanilla06: wat is ur question?
frrenchvanilla06: are u asking me if i think that me being all about ur family is weird?
neomageorge: is it damaging? or could/will it be? or is it something that will probably affect me but not in a way that would like change my life or something like that?
frrenchvanilla06: i think it will affect u
frrenchvanilla06: b/c if u think affection is weird now
frrenchvanilla06: how the hell are u ever going to be intimate with someone
frrenchvanilla06: kiss someone?
frrenchvanilla06: hold their hand?
frrenchvanilla06: make love?
neomageorge: i'v done those things
neomageorge: minus the sex
neomageorge: but in my mind
neomageorge: as you probably already figured
neomageorge: sex seems very awkward
neomageorge: its a strange activity
frrenchvanilla06: why?
neomageorge: when you think abou tit
neomageorge: well the mechanics
frrenchvanilla06: its an activity that ppl can show their affection, their wild side, and give and share immense feelings of pleasure and satisfaction
neomageorge: as in actually gettin to the actual sex part
neomageorge: seems impossible without a really big awkward
neomageorge: series of moments and gestures
neomageorge: also
neomageorge: i find that i think its somewhat dirty
neomageorge: and i imagine
neomageorge: i might feel a sort of guilt or shame
neomageorge: maybe filth in partaking in such an activity
neomageorge: ...
neomageorge: but dont tell anyone that part
frrenchvanilla06: ok
frrenchvanilla06: im abotu to ask u a really personal question
frrenchvanilla06: dont get all freaked out or nething
neomageorge: ya
frrenchvanilla06: have u ever masturbated
neomageorge: ya
frrenchvanilla06: ok
frrenchvanilla06: well wouldnt u wna enjoy that kind of pleasure with someone else?
frrenchvanilla06: let them let u feel like that
frrenchvanilla06: and there shouldnt be guilt
frrenchvanilla06: thats wat great about sex
frrenchvanilla06: ur giving to someone else
frrenchvanilla06: and they give to u as well
neomageorge: ok... well i know i would feel guilt
frrenchvanilla06: why?
neomageorge: i just know
neomageorge: and i still think its dirty
frrenchvanilla06: well then thats wat u think
frrenchvanilla06: i cant make u change ur mind
neomageorge: like
neomageorge: again
neomageorge: there's sorta two parts
neomageorge: like the part
neomageorge: where sure i'd like to do it with someone i care about
neomageorge: but at the same time i am aware of all the negative feelings
neomageorge: i would feel
frrenchvanilla06: why would u feel negative?
frrenchvanilla06: about wat?
frrenchvanilla06: someone giving u pleasure?
frrenchvanilla06: guys find that a turn on
neomageorge: and also the whole thing with i dont understand how you could get to that actual act without feeling awkward
neomageorge: what a turn on?
frrenchvanilla06: b/c it feels good
neomageorge: giving pleasure?
neomageorge: whats*
frrenchvanilla06: turn on is when the person enjoys what they are hearing or seeing or feeling.. nad it makes them horny or want to kiss them or orgasm
frrenchvanilla06: stuff like that
neomageorge: no no
neomageorge: i mean
frrenchvanilla06: normally.. guys will pop a boner when they're turned on and girls will get wet
neomageorge: what wer eyou refering to
neomageorge: when you said
frrenchvanilla06: oh
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: that its a turn on for guys
neomageorge: >.> o.o
frrenchvanilla06: its a turn on for gys to see a girl orgasm
frrenchvanilla06: like.. u said ud feel guilty
frrenchvanilla06: well u shouldnt
frrenchvanilla06: cuz the guy wants to do that
frrenchvanilla06: ure pleasing him
frrenchvanilla06: he likes that hes pleasing u
frrenchvanilla06: it turns him on hearin u moan and knowing uve cum, etc
frrenchvanilla06: wow
frrenchvanilla06: i make myself sound like im a professional
neomageorge: haha
neomageorge: its funny
neomageorge: because i always give advice on something that i myself am very uncomfortable with
neomageorge: like i think its awesome for other people to do it
neomageorge: that's their business
neomageorge: and more power to them
neomageorge: but for me personally ...
frrenchvanilla06: im still a virgin tho
frrenchvanilla06: and here i a
neomageorge: i know
frrenchvanilla06: am*
frrenchvanilla06: soundin like a nymph
neomageorge: i do the same thing
neomageorge: but then basically
frrenchvanilla06: lol
frrenchvanilla06: k
frrenchvanilla06: well hey
frrenchvanilla06: i hate to do this to u
neomageorge: nobody knows that i really think i'll hate sex
frrenchvanilla06: but im getting really tired
neomageorge: haha
neomageorge: nite
frrenchvanilla06: well... maybe ure not masturbating enough
frrenchvanilla06: lol
frrenchvanilla06: j/k
frrenchvanilla06: well.. maybe not
frrenchvanilla06: i mean
frrenchvanilla06: that is one way of growing ur affectionate side
frrenchvanilla06: beign affectionate with ur own self and ur own body
frrenchvanilla06: loveing who u are before u can appreciate another person
frrenchvanilla06: and its kinda like a reward
frrenchvanilla06: cuz u give urself affection and ultimate pleasure
neomageorge: maybe
neomageorge: or maybe i'll just bury it like other things
frrenchvanilla06: k
neomageorge: and be a nun
frrenchvanilla06: nope
neomageorge: or join a cult
neomageorge: that'd be better
frrenchvanilla06: imma hire u a stripper
frrenchvanilla06: cult ppl have sex
frrenchvanilla06: lol
neomageorge: no one where they dont
neomageorge: no sex cults are definitely the best
neomageorge: no stripper...
frrenchvanilla06: lol
frrenchvanilla06: mmk
frrenchvanilla06: sex cult it is
frrenchvanilla06: and then.. our dominatrix jobs to pay for college
frrenchvanilla06: k
frrenchvanilla06: night
frrenchvanilla06 signed off at 3:01:58 AM.